Men in Tights? – Real Men Don’t Need Constant Reminders to be Men

Men in Tights? – Real Men Don’t Need Constant Reminders to be Men May 12, 2019
Screen cap from the satirical film “Robin Hood: Men in Tights”

Happy Mother’s Day, we’re talking about dudes today! One of the biggest things I’ve noticed in the writings of many men in Quiverful is the constant signalling of manhood. So many of these guys spend large amounts of time worrying about masculinity, trying to define it, claiming they are the ultimate in masculinity without any idea on how society, fashion and the era affect what is considered masculine.

Example. Take our photo above, a film about England back in the roughly 13th or 14th century, a time when men did wear tights. It was routine garb for men back then. Ask any of these good Christian QF masculinity experts about men in tights and you’ll see some rather vociferous denials they were ever masculine.

We’ve watched these guys all twist every gender role for men and women into some rather twisted things. Right now one of the biggest offenders “I am so masculine and you are not” brigade, Tim Bayly, is claiming that saying no to your husband can have huge rippling outward negative affects on others in the community.

Fascinating, isn’t it, that the wrong is not done merely to the King, but “all the officials and all the peoples.” Note that allowing rebellion in the home doesn’t merely harm those living in it, but others not a part of the household who hear of, and observe, the children or wife’s insubordination. In our leadership of our homes, we are our neighbor’s keeper. This is one thing taught by the book of Esther (and many other places in Scripture).

Nope, you saying no to your husband does not mean it’s going to impact anyone beyond your husband. If he’s too weak to take an occasional no  defining masculinity is not going to help him.

Secure people, men and women, can handle the ‘no’, don’t feel the need to constantly define what constitutes masculinity or femininity, do not feel they have to live up to a false standard set by others. They are secure in themselves.

Here’s what I want to know. Why? What is it about Evangelicalism or Quiverfull that attracts these kinds of men that must constantly be nattering on about being  a man?

Here are just a few of these particular kind of guys and their crimes and misdemeanors of masculinity that makes them suspect.

Steven Anderson of Faithful Word Baptist Church and the New IFB. Steven has done things to prove what a man he is like pick up and carry his wife around, castigate other men for sitting down to urinate, running barefoot through the desert, saying that skinny jeans, polka dot shirts and other trendy clothing is gay. Steven also has a special over the top hatred for gay men.

Tim Bayly of Clearnote Church and Out of Our Minds Warhorn Media – Tim has castigated all sorts of weird things as effeminate or ‘gay’ through the years, like hipster beards and articles of clothing. Also has had a strangely intense focus on homosexuality while hooting how masculine he is.

Michael Pearl of No Greater Joy – brags about scaring farm animals, beating both dogs and children. On his honeymoon continually compared his number of sexual experiences with those of other men he knew. Has strict ideas of gender and sorting other men into his ideas of what a man is.

Doug Phillips of Vision Forum – Doug practically invented the CPM with it’s hyper masculinity and tightly defined roles for men, no matter if those roles suited them or not.

Bill Gothard of IBLP – Another guy with odd ideas about what it means to be a man. This is a guy that openly bragged that he’d not ever kissed a woman and stayed ‘pure’, yet has been accused of taking sexual advantage of a piles of young ladies. There is much more.

Larry Solomon of Biblical Gender Roles – Larry believes that men should sexually assault their wives or punish them if their wives refuse to have sex with them. No discussions, no reasonable answers, just women submit. He also believes that head coverings should be worn by women to keep men from lusting.

and the list goes on and on to include the unstable male comments on Lori Alexander’s blog The Transformed Wife who are currently giving Lori a hard time because she declared all anal sex is sinful.

All you have to do is watch a few episodes of the Duggar family’s television show to see how fragile the men are about their masculinity.

I feel especially bad for the women living with these men. If the men have such a hard time projecting they are men, then how are women supposed to react to that, besides propping up their weak ego-ridden selves?

Who else should be on this list and what odd ideas do they hold about sexuality and gender?


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About Suzanne Titkemeyer
Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 32 years. You can read more about the author here.

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