Physically Abusing Your Wife is Biblical?

Physically Abusing Your Wife is Biblical? July 20, 2019

Just when you thought Trey’s horrifying words describing a sexual assault and/or rape of his wife in the cruelest of terms is the lowest that Larry Solomon and pals could get up to at Biblical Gender Roles they prove it’s not the bottom. Many of the men posting, including Larry the Hairy Man, are all too eager to take it into physical abuse, and justifying it as Bible, even as a woman points out it’s not.

Here’s what one of the few women posting on the thread said:

“I’m appalled, though, that there are men who think it is OK to strike a woman. Nowhere does the Bible say that is acceptable. In fact it says the opposite in Col. 3:19 telling husbands not to be harsh with their wives. Wives are not children. Scripture tells a man to go to the corner of the roof (get away) if his wife is nagging and being contentious.

The silent treatment? OK because that can keep a conflict from escalating and allows a person ‘time to cool off.

I’m no feminist. I do submit to and obey my husband however, if he ever put a hand on me I would defend myself. He would find the closest object in my reach upside his head.”

She has a point about at least the silent method allows the offended party to cool off without escalating anything. It’s still not a good way to deal with conflict in marriage. You’re still not resolving anything, or communicating.

But Larry et al responds in some pretty hateful ways. Larry burbles on for awhile with that evangelical buzz word “bitter” before defending physical abuse:

“Is it cruel or severe for a parent to spank their child? If your child was getting in your face contending with you and be rebellious and nasty toward you challenging your authority over them and you gave them a controlled open palmed slap on the cheek why would that be harsh? I am betting you would say the answer is this is not harsh treatment of a parent toward a child under those circumstances.

So then we must ask, why is a controlled spanking or an opened handed smack on the cheek from a husband toward his wife in a moment when she is being contentious and disrespectful in his face considered harsh?

Do you accept the Biblical proposition that a husband not only has the right, but the Biblical obligation to discipline his wife? It does not have to be physical discipline, but that is one option of discipline a man has.”

So Larry Solomon sees it as his divine right as a husband to smack around his wife and kids for ‘rebellion’? This all makes me feel so sad for his much put upon wife and children.

Larry then goes on to claim that he believes in the same sort of discipline and chastening as Christ teaches. Funny I’ve never seen any evidence that Jesus ever threw a left hook or a silly slap at anyone else. Just that he wrecked a whole passel of things, inanimate objects, when he threw the money changers from the temple.

Then he claims he’d never lay a hand on his wife. Why? Well, not because it’s abusive or hateful, but more because she would call the cops. Funny how the threat of law enforcement is enough to shut down the cowardly claims of discipline.

“Now as I said in a comment on this thread – I have never raised a hand to my wife in all our marriage. But it is not because I believe to do so would be morally wrong or treating my wife as a child. Part of the reason is because of how my wife was raised and that is similar to you. She believes if a man ever lays a hand on a woman, even for discipline, this is wrong and she would calling her parents and the cops. But also the other part is my father disciplined my mother in non-physical ways and that is the style I am most comfortable with.

But some women are familiar with and accepting of physical discipline toward wives. They witnessed it with their father and mother or they have opened their eyes to the Scriptures and now find it acceptable and right. I have had many women writing me and occasionally they comment here about it. If you check out my article “Does the Bible Allow a Husband to Spank his Wife?” you will see a woman named Tina, one of several women who write me or make comments that fully accepts the concept of physical discipline for wives by their husbands.”

No, Larry, just no. Seeing your mother regularly getting beat down by her husband does not make it a right way to discipline anyone ever~ Abuse is abuse no matter what type of Biblical names you want to try to wrap it in.

AngloSaxon jumps in with this:

“I don’t like the idea of giving a girl the silent treatment. I’d much sooner give her a slap and deal with it immediately. I’d rather not lose out on enjoying my wife for however long it takes for the silent treatment to take effect.”

Now, now, a slap is still considered physical abuse and we know from the statistics at RAINN and the National Domestic Abuse Hotline that this type of abuse almost always escalates, from slaps to punches and worse. Women end up dead from guys that start with a slap.

Jonabah chimes in, but does not come outright and advocate beatings:

“A wife that contending with her husband ,is not submitting to her husband and a wife that is sexually defrauding her husband is planting the seeds of bitterness and failure. A wife has great power to influence her own happiness in marriage, too bad the older women won’t teach her how. The older women would rather teach her how to be headstrong with moxie and exercise “girl power”. What she plants she will reap, plant seeds of love and contentment, bear a harvest of joy. Plant seeds of defrauding and quarreling and reap the bitterness of a lonely life of regret.”

Better to be alive and headstrong than a dead doormat.

Most of these men are dragging into this discussion words about sexual refusal, when it’s not even close to the main point of the original discussion or letter. Typically as those type of patriarchs they are all just worried about Mr. Happy getting his jollies more than anything else.

I’ve recently given  it a lot of thought, and I have to believe that if it were not for these stringent unBiblical gender roles none of these guys would be able to attract or keep a mate. They’d be lonesome sad sacks if some poor woman wasn’t emotionally terrified into thinking they are her lot in life. Sort of Christian Beta Cuckolds. THAT is what they really fear, no having access to the cooking sex robot ‘yes dear’ machine.

It’s not love.

It’s not love of Christ.

It’s all getting their rocks off.

To end this shower of excrement may I present Larry the Liar. Denying he ever tried to control his wife via her pain meds. Larry, I have the screen caps. Scrub your site all you like but they exist.

“And no, contrary to what some crazy feminist writer has recently said about me, I do not deny my wife medications or use her medications to control her moods. I keep her medications locked in a safe and give them to her as prescribed by her doctors daily because she has abused her pain medications in the past(overused them) and her doctor has asked me to do this. In fact he insists I come to each appointment with her to confirm with me she is not using other medications and just the ones he prescribes.”

Larry is calling me a ‘crazy feminist writer’, just don’t call me late for surfing and we’re golden. I am a humanist, I want to see everyone equally succeeding in their lives. Call me crazy for that, but it’s less insane that beating others.

He can deny what he is doing with her medications is not abusive all he wants, but not being allowed personal control over your own medications is still abuse. I’m surprised her doctor is compliment in that abuse. There are time released options and all sorts of other ways to deal with misuse and too frequent usage that does not involve putting someone else in the position of controlling the medication. This is toxic control.

If you are in a relationship like these listed above I beg of you, please reach out for help! You do not have to live like this!

RAINN – 800.656.4673

The National Domestic Violence Hotline – 800.799.7233

How proud WordPress must be that they are hosting and enabling men who believe in the routine practice of domestic violence.


Stay in touch! Like No Longer Quivering on Facebook:

If this is your first time visiting NLQ please read our Welcome page and our Comment Policy! Commenting here means you agree to abide by our policies.

Copyright notice: If you use any content from NLQ, including any of our research or Quoting Quiverfull quotes, please give us credit and a link back to this site. All original content is owned by No Longer Quivering and Patheos.com

Read our hate mail at Jerks 4 Jesus

Check out today’s NLQ News at NLQ Newspaper

Contact NLQ at SuzanneNLQ@gmail.com

Comments open below

NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

I Fired God by Jocelyn Zichtermann

13:24 A Dark Thriller by M Dolon Hickmon

About Suzanne Titkemeyer
Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington You can read more about the author here.D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 33 years. You can read more about the author here.

Browse Our Archives

Follow Us!