Trey Says Silent Treatment of Husband Requires Oral Sex?

Trey Says Silent Treatment of Husband Requires Oral Sex? July 18, 2019

Sheer moments after I posted up Larry Solomon’s latest dreck about giving a marital partner the childish “Silent Treatment” someone points me to the comments at Biblical Gender Roles.

Turns out that Lori Alexander’s most ardent male fan, the one that threatened me on Amazon, and has said a huge laundry list of abusive things on Lori’s various media posted on BGR.

He, along with Vaughn Ohlman and others, has been posting on Larry’s site for a long time now. When awful  people collide.

Here’s what he said about punishing a wife that gives the silent treatment to her husband, which is not what the letter said at all:

In the description of Lisa’s husband above, I see no sin whatsoever in his actions. When we sin against God, we break fellowship with Him. When you sin against your husband Lisa, YOU break fellowship with your husband. Having a contentious heated argument with your husband is SIN. Denying your husband sex just because you are “not in the mood” is SIN. No question, both of those are clearly sin against your husband and against God. Lisa, go and sin no more!!!!

I have a couple of suggestions for Lisa’s husband… and any other husband in this position.
1. Send your wife off to sleep in another bed or on the couch. I find that to be more effective. If she doubles down on her sin and refuses to obey you then you going is the 2nd choice.
2. If this is not working, (if she is not making progress over time) ramp up the discipline and start taking away other things she values until she quits contenting with you, being disrespectful to you and denying you sex (for no good reason).
3. Denial of sex by a wife is the ultimate form of disrespect and control of her husband. If she has denied you sex (for no good reason), sex should be required before she is allowed back into your marriage bed. Oral sex while on her knees before you seems very appropriate and swallowing is a must. Spitting you out is also a form of disrespect.
4. Apology vs asking for forgiveness. Husbands, insist that your wife humble herself, confess her sin to you (very specifically) and ask for your forgiveness. This is a huge difference over her just saying that she was “sorry” and will have much stronger effect toward eliminating the sinful behaviour for good. This of course applies to your sin toward her also. It is what God requires of us. (1 John 1:9)

This might sound counterproductive but once she has the security of knowing that you are a strong enough man to handle her and to (lovingly) put her in her place when necessary, she will feel more secure and confident in you and your marriage and she will WANT to submit to you and serve you more and EVERYTHING about the marriage will get better and she will be much, much happier. Experience talking here.

For Lisa, the sooner you quit SINNING by being a contentious wife and quit SINNING by denying your husband sex, the better off you and your marriage will be and you can become a valued and cherished HELPER to your husband instead of the tolerated, hindrance that you are currently being right now.

Reprehensible. Vile. Abusive. He ticks all the boxes of guys to avoid.


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Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington You can read more about the author here.D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 33 years. You can read more about the author here.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Friend

    This idea is highly abus1ve and even crim1nal if the husband forces his wife to do what is described.

    It is also not going to make the wife happy. Expect the opposite.

  • Jennifer

    “Spitting you out?” Another guy who identifies way too much with his seed? Disgusting trash.

  • GShelley

    Because destroying the seed in acid is somehow far more respectful.

  • gimpi1

    What a nightmare. All I can say is that I hope the Lisa referenced here gets the heck away from this slave-marriage and takes whatever steps are necessary to keep her (hopefully) ex far, far away.

    If anyone follows this criminal advice, they will have time, 3 to 5 years possibly, to learn not to listen to crazy, hateful, violent people.

  • gimpi1

    There are other things that can be destroyed in acid… **thinks hard** and it might be justified under the circumstances.

  • Nefercat

    (lovingly) put her in her place

    Not possible. There is no “love” involved in putting someone “in their place.”

    It is pretty obvious that his abusive rules are the only way this asshole gets any sex (rape). Whatever he feels for his wife, it isn’t love. Sounds more like terror, actually. Pathetic, frightened little bully, certainly not a man.

  • AFo

    MARRIAGE. IS. MORE. THAN. SEX.

    If the wife is “denying” the husband sex, it’s likely a symptom of a larger problem. It always kills me that guys like Trey refuse to accept that being married to someone means a partnership in all things, not just the bedroom.

  • frostysnowman

    Nauseating.

  • lady_black

    He needs to be bitten, HARD.

  • lady_black

    He doesn’t want a partnership. He wants a sex doll. She will never argue with him, and never refuse him sex.

  • lady_black

    I’d be spitting out a lot more than his seed. As in “Don’t insist on putting anything in my mouth that you’d like to keep.”

  • Martin Penwald

    The absurd concept of “sin” is referring to a crime against “god”. One CANNOT “sin” against another human being.
    If their “god” exists, It will be very angry after these men who place themselves as equal of It.

    Think about it, Trey.

  • Nightshade

    I don’t normally advocate biting people, but in this case? Put those jaw muscles to good use. HARD.

  • Mimc

    F*** that guy! Not wanting to have s3x is a perfectly good reason not to.

  • Delta

    Note that for guys like this, “denying” them means to say “no, I’m not in the mood this very second” while being a married woman (or, according to Larry, a married adolescent as well).

    It’s not a necessarily sign of a larger problem. But Trey’s response makes it clear that there is a large problem — he’s a vile, sexually abusive man.

  • Peg

    Trey is a reprobate. This is incredibly abusive behavior and if there are minor children present in the home I would be very concerned about what they are subjected too as well.

  • Saraquill

    I really hope he’s single and buried in restraining orders.

  • Saraquill

    These people are big into idolatry. They keep saying “G-d,” but really mean “p3nis.”

  • Freodin

    Nice guy. I wonder how much he pays his food taster.

  • NikkiofAmystika

    3. Denial of sex69 by a wife is the ultimate form of disrespect and control of her husband. If she has denied you sex69 (for no good reason), sex69 should be required before she is allowed back into your marriage bed. Oral69 sex69 while on her knees before you seems very appropriate and swallowing69 is a must. Spitting you out is also a form of disrespect.

    (quote slightly altered to avoid running afoul of the Disqus comment filter)
    To me, this just sounds like a nonconsensual69 combination of humiliation and oral69 sex69 (which is not inherently humiliating unless an individual person sees it as inherently humiliating). Ew, ew, ew.

    4. Apology vs asking for forgiveness. Husbands, insist that your wife humble herself, confess her sin to you (very specifically) and ask for your forgiveness. This is a huge difference over her just saying that she was “sorry” and will have much stronger effect toward eliminating the sinful behaviour for good. This of course applies to your sin toward her also. It is what God requires of us. (1 John 1:9)

    What, so now the husband is also supposed to be some mix of a Catholic priest and God to his wife? No, I’m probably overthinking this. More likely it’s just the idolatry/entitlement attitude previously mentioned by Martin and Saraquill.
    Just when I think these pathetic guys (Trey, Larry, Vaughn, et al) have hit an all-time low, they find yet another subbasement below that. I hope they keep digging, eventually surface in China, start babbling all this crap69 in front of the Chinese citizens they encounter, and are met with nothing but incredulous stares.

  • persephone

    I used to like Chris Rock, then he said that in his routine. eff that to he ll.

  • Nightshade

    I might be overthinking this, but the act that Trey chose is one that would not give his wife any physical pleasure. I think that is deliberate, in addition to the ‘on your knees’ aspect.

  • swimmerkw

    I can’t believe he actually claimed that this advice is “loving”.

  • Allison the Great

    Oh I hope this asshole gets bit. Just like it’s pretty fucking dumb to wave one of one’s appendages in front of an angry wild animal and expect them to not bite, it’s also extremely stupid to want to stick ones schlong into someone’s mouth when they’re rightfully pissed at childish behavior. This makes me wish that vagina dentata were actually a thing and that the poor significant others of these overgrown toddlers could engage them whenever these men just get to be too much to tolerate anymore. These men feel powerless and ineffective outside their homes, that’s why they have to act like little bullies inside their homes. It never occurs to them that if they want to be respected, they need to change their behavior.

  • Ingeborg Nordén

    Amen. Yahweh’s whole cult is a sadomasochistic pen‌is cult and he expects his worshipers to act accordingly.

  • Friend

    Sometimes I think postings like Trey’s are Forvm letters for stvdly patriarchs, especially frvstrated young men who have been promised a kingdom.

  • Rachel

    Ironic that I almost spit out my drink when I read that swallowing is a must and spitting is disrespect? Guy reads way too much into it, and I’m so grateful I’m with someone that doesn’t care one way or the other–he’s just happy I’m down there! Really it’s a shame that these types turn sex into such a chore and oral into punishment.

  • Ingeborg Nordén

    A deity who expects half his followers to enslave, torture, and degrade the other half is not my kind of deity; even if Yahweh exists, I wouldn’t see much difference between the active torture in Christian Hell and the passive torture in Christian Heaven. Power-crazed, sadistic husbands like Trey join the Church as an excuse to indulge their fantasies. If there is any justice in the universe, Trey won’t stay married much longer.

  • Karen

    They define ‘love’ as ‘getting the other person to their version of Heaven,’ regardless of the actual opinions of the actual other person.

  • lady_black

    I don’t believe in biting people either. Unless, you know, they are rapey abusive men looking for a good time at a woman’s expense. The utter chutzpah of these schlemiels.

  • JetGirl

    These men shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near women.

  • Saraquill

    Mother Ann Lee would like a word with you.

  • Jen (*.*)

    Pulling out (heh) my “Riddikulus” spell! That’ll blow (e-heh?) his mind

  • Astreja

    On the bright side, if Trey is currently married and his spouse decides she’s had enough, his vile Internet witterings can be used against him in court. *evil grin*

  • NikkiofAmystika

    Yeah, you’re overthinking this. These types see women as basically an accessory to men, so they don’t understand or allow for the concept of female autonomy or individuality, much less female physical pleasure.

  • Nightshade

    On second thought…yeah, probably right. I doubt very much that Trey cares about her pleasure at any other time, so why would it enter his mind then? For a moment there I was giving him more credit that he deserves, which is absolutely zero.

  • Effing THIS.

  • Not just a bite. A chomp. Break the skin at the very least. Worst case scenario? He’ll be sitting down to take a leak. I don’t say this lightly, either.

  • Jennifer

    These replies are reminding of the main character in Shawshank and how he threatened a guy who behaved like he might try to assault him. He said something along the lines of, “I bite down, really hard; my jaw just locks. And if I’m unconscious? It just latches on even harder..”

  • Jennifer

    About being spit out??

  • Jennifer

    Most do believe other humans can be sinned against too.

  • Petticoat Philosopher

    Well, just in case anybody needed any more proof that sex69 is about power, not pleasure to abusive men, here it is. He’s not talking about oral sex69 like it’s something fun that feels good. To him, it’s a humiliation ritual to show your wife who’s in charge.

    Chilling.

  • Petticoat Philosopher

    I’m guessing his wife does not like to swallow and that’s exactly why he insists she do it.

  • Petticoat Philosopher

    It doesn’t even sound like it’s a good time he’s looking for. At any rate, he’s not deriving the good time from sexual69 pleasure. He’s deriving it from using sex69 to humiliate and punish his wife and show her who’s boss. It’s just a tool of violence. It’s not about the orgasm69.

  • lady_black

    Exactly. It’s being used as a tool of violence and derision. It deserves the same treatment as any other tool of violence. Taking it away from the perpetrator and throwing in in the ocean, a swamp, or out of the window of a moving car.
    At least break the skin, so he won’t be able to use it for a while.

  • Petticoat Philosopher

    Or will have an embarrassing thing to explain at the ER. LOL!

    Though sadly, in all seriousness, I’d fear for the life of an abused wife who actually tried this.

  • lady_black

    Oh, an abused wife should bite it all the way off. He’ll be no trouble as he lays there, bleeding.

  • lady_black

    That’s why I would make it a punishment for HIM.

  • lady_black

    That’s another way to go about it…

  • lady_black

    I’d be doing my grocery list, except he probably doesn’t last long enough.

  • lady_black

    No, but throwing up all over him would give me great pleasure.

  • lady_black

    Maybe he likes being vomited on. You never know with these kooks.

  • persephone

    His thing was that he was the one making the money and she better swallow. Gross. Treating your wife like that is disgusting.

  • Jennifer

    Uuugh, really gross.

  • GeckoShamelessRaceMixer

    What a horrible mindset. This guy doesn’t even know what love is, because he’d never want to treat someone he truly loved so harshly, objectify her, and demand her humiliation. The kind of sex scene he describes should be one of mutual passion with a little sense of play, not something you subject someone to as some kind of punishment. That’s abuse. Plain and simple.

  • GeckoShamelessRaceMixer

    They’ve effectively suppressed the feminine in it, that’s for sure.

  • Ingeborg Nordén

    With Hebrew prophets getting rid of Asherah’s cult (she was Yahweh’s wife back in the day!) and denouncing “Queen of Heaven” worship…I agree 100 percent.

  • Ingeborg Nordén

    Even Jesus has the prodigal son ready to tell his dad “Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you”; both characters in the story are portrayed as human.

  • GeckoShamelessRaceMixer

    Yes, I read about that recently! She still makes muted appearances occasionally as “Wisdom” and she explains the Virgin Mary devotion, probably. Pretty interesting when you can see through the cracks in the patriarchy.

  • Ingeborg Nordén

    Trey’s “godly marriage” is a justifiable homicide case waiting to happen, if he’s accurately describing how he treats his wife. For her sake, I hope they don’t live in a death-penalty state.

  • Astreja

    For her sake, I hope she gets out of there before anyone dies — but leaving an abusive relationship is hard.

  • Mollywog

    Hmmmmm… and what about the bit about not sowing your seeds in infertile land?? Seems like another case of selective Bible reading…

  • lady_black

    The Castle Doctrine.

  • They define love two ways.

    For men, love is having complete control over your wife/kids.

    For women and children, it’s submission and obedience without question.

  • 24CaratHooligan

    I seem to remember that any secks that doesn’t lead to procreation comes under the heading of soddemy. Can’t remember where I read it now. And Soddemy is a biiiig s1n

  • Ruthitchka

    Ew.