Tim Bayly Thinks Marriage Ends Effeminacy and Homosexuality?

Tim Bayly Thinks Marriage Ends Effeminacy and Homosexuality? September 16, 2019

It’s been a while since we checked in on Tim Bayly of Out Of Our Minds and it seems he’s been very busy bemoaning the fact that all Christians do not love and adore our president Donald Trump, some tales of how it’s burial or nothing post-death and talking of the death of his three brothers. A very odd mixed bag of stuff. But then we end up here, Bayly reposting a flowery world salad by a man that left effeminacy behind.

Bayly does not share the author’s name, just that the piece came from a place called Sanityville. He acts like it’s some separate place figuring in mystery, but it’s just another outlet at Warhorn Media and Out Of Their Minds. Tim Bayly is promoting his own things again while pretending otherwise. Sanityville indeed does not read like there is any sanity there.

There is discussion of being “Emo” (shorthand for “Emotional Hardcore” type of music and lifestyle) in college followed by some pastor explaining homosexual behavior in baseball terms of pitching and catching. College? This sounds distinctly much more like a middle school emo kid trying to figure out how relations work.

And then we get to this, declarations of how to turn off homosexuality and effeminacy:

There is a bit of a catch-22 that I will identify here but, not having an easy answer to it, do not intend to further address. Godly men should get married and father children, but it is marriage and fatherhood that makes men godly; and, godliness is next to manliness. What I mean here is that, what helped pull me out of effeminacy more than anything else—any good word preached or any intervention or intercession from friends and brothers—was getting married.

This is kind of like saying that with enough elbow grease, wax, and positive thinking you can turn that rusted out 1973 Ford Pinto into a new Cadillac. The basic nature of the person has not changed, the only thing that changed is what junk yard the car is residing in.

Marriage and babies have been proven time and again to have zero effect on someone’s bedrock sexuality. No amount of gay aversion therapy works as we see by all the guys running these programs that eventually fall apart, admit it does not work and re-embrace their own sexuality.

The only thing that happens is that you do not only a huge disservice to oneself, but also to your partner and whatever poor confused children are born  into the relationship. Hurt for everyone.

Then this whole piece turns into Lori Alexander boilerplate on the evils of college, debt and mothers that do not stay home to raise babies and he somehow manages to twist it to fitting with his feminine nature being the problem.

When we had our first child, she quit working, and the excess money left the household. We briefly lived within our new means, but the inner sinfulness and effeminacy occupying my heart screamed at the unfairness of not being able to get what I want, when I wanted it. We took out credit cards. We bought another car. We moved away from our church home so that I could take a job in a place where neither of us knew anyone all for more money.

Maybe I’m just really thick today but I am not getting his linking his effeminacy to the lust for money and credit cards. He gives no clue as to how that happened.

Certainly, there was more sin involved in my failures than just effeminacy, but I have come to understand that effeminacy was at the root of it all. Fundamentally, effeminacy is a refusal by a man to occupy the place and role he should in a given relationship. I stepped back when I could, only did difficult things when my unwillingness to do so would have made plain what I sought to keep hidden about myself. I complained loudly of work at home because I had the sense to keep such complaints out of my friend groups, church family, and workplace.

So let’s see if I have this straight, he thinks because he was whining and complaining and home and inner refusal to ‘be a man’, whatever that is, is him being effeminate?

I just cannot figure! I must go take an Excedrin number infinity and lay down. None of this makes anything approaching sense!


Editor’s note: I will be traveling starting tomorrow back to the U.S. and will likely be unable to approve comments right away. If the filters eat your comments just hang tight and know that I will be approving them as soon as I can. No need for threats involving clowns or lawyers. I’ll be not as much around for the next week as it’s the yearly let’s buy things in the States marathon, You cannot get otc drugs, decent towels, any electronics, etc easily or cheaply here in Costa Rica. Doing my import run.

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About Suzanne Titkemeyer
Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 33 years. You can read more about the author here.

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