Marriage is Like a Chocolate Pie?

Marriage is Like a Chocolate Pie? October 23, 2019
A pie made from the same recipe used in ‘The Help’ in the infamous chocolate pie scene minus one ingredient. Delicious!

There seems to be a concerted effort over at Michael and Debi Pearl’s No Greater Joy to show the missing in action Michael as back in the saddle after months of little output. People started talking about how he was likely incapacitated by his stroke, too injured to keep writing and preaching and just like that we get a No Greater Joy magazine with a pile of articles authored by Michael and a video of him throwing knives and preaching. Anything to stay relevant and oh Lord how the money should roll in. Anything to make Michael seem like his self image of “Action Man.” Today Michael tells us how marriage is a like a chocolate pie, well, how you handle a chocolate pie.

Not entirely buying his return for a number of reasons, one of which is this written piece that makes me wonder if he dictated it.  Read on and see what I mean. Marriage: Sharing the Pie – there are so many dirty jokes I could make over that title. Which exposes just how culturally clueless everyone in the Pearl organization are.  It’s almost as if they are playing the very funny headline game “Yeti Eats Alien”

I am guessing that Michael’s relationships with his buddies involved a lot of chest beating bravado, male one-up-manship, and macho games involving rude bodily function noises. His description of their honeymoon involving keeping Debi constantly cooking, cleaning and screwing sounded like just the kind of man fantasy nightmare straight out of the 1850s.

We get it Michael. You were too much of the manly man to have ever been around girls and women. Bet he’s exactly the kind of man that finds it a mortal insult to his maleness to be forced to traipse through the feminine hygiene section at the supermarket.

Sadly this hateful retro sexual attitude among men seems to be the default position in Quiverfull. How many times have we seen a male enforcer exhibit the same attitude?

No way that Michael Pearl wrote this! His description of compromise sounds almost like a egalitarian relationship and we know that is considered the work of Satan in QF.

Unless what he means is that it is the woman saying ‘If you say so’ and giving over. A 100% the responsibility of the woman in QF to cater to the man. That’s usually what these guys mean.

Then Michael tells a tale of tussling over a chocolate pie with his brother. Long story short, because both were coveting that pie, wrassling over cutting the biggest half it ended up on the floor and no one got a slice. Then Michael tries to say that marriage is just like that chocolate pie.

The pie story sounded like it came straight out of Michael Pearl’s mouth. This? This sounds nothing like him. It’s too logical, the language is not demeaning and toxic. It reads like someone else wrote it. It’s actually not bad advice at all. Marriage is not a competition, it’s a partnership.

But then we go here:

What the heck? Why not just each have a slice, and have a second if you want it. Simple. Marriage is not like a chocolate pie. It’s not like sharing a chocolate pie at all! What Michael is describing in his pie analogy is ridiculously childish people tussling over a baked good, a baked good that there can easily be more of. How hard is it to bake a second one if you or your husband are jonesing for a huge slice? It’s not.

The rest of the piece is Michael talking of a relationship with God and seeking the best in people. Again, it reads like something from the hands of someone else. Not Michael, not Debi, but someone else. And it’s not nearly as toxic as usual.

This combined with Debi’s book on brains makes one wonder what exactly is going on over in their hollow.

All of Michael’s words about chocolate pies reminded me that women in Quiverfull usually only get the toxic end all the time. They get pies like the chocolate pie Loretta Lynn made in “Coalminer’s Daughter” filled with salt. Or a pie like the one Minnie made for Hilly Holbrook in “The Help” filled with excrement. They get left overs, or the worthless bits while the men get everything worth having.

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About Suzanne Titkemeyer
Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 33 years. You can read more about the author here.

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