Lori Alexander Emotionally Abuses Granddaughter and Brags About it

Lori Alexander Emotionally Abuses Granddaughter and Brags About it November 2, 2019

I hope that which ever of Lori Alexander’s children is the parent of this poor girl in the story decides that perhaps leaving Lori alone with the child is not good! There are times when parents must step up and protect a child from an abusive grandparent. I have seen family members do it when one of the grands drives away with the children while drinking by ending all rides with that drunk. It is the job of the parent to keep kids away from dangerous people and situations.

We’re breaking our Loritorium just to discuss this horrid situation. Why? Because Lori has bragged in her super secret chatroom about what sounds like emotionally abusing a eight year old little girl.  Of course Lori did not post this in any public forum. This is strictly secretive roach nest communications. What is done in secret eventually comes to light. Here are the screen caps:

This is not how you effectively handle fears and emotions in a child! What Lori said and did qualifies as emotional abuse. What harm would it have done to have done the responsible thing, stopped walking for the roughly one or two minutes it might have taken for this child to don her jacket? In a world with predators and pedophiles lurking I’m quite surprised they kept on walking without waiting for a vulnerable child.

Even if they didn’t realize how frightening the child found the episode Lori’s words and actions are beyond inappropriate. She does not say if she comforted the girl, or allowed her to call her parents. Eight years old is still quite young. Far too young to be lectured on controlling your emotions like a robot!

Children are not little adults! They are young and learning, with imperfect control of anything, much less their own feelings. It’s your job as the adult caring for them to help them mitigate and navigate their fears of abandonment and loss of control. To comfort and meet unspoken needs, not behave in a cold cruel manner.

Whoever this child belongs to needs to start saving now for future therapy if they leave her often with Lori Alexander, toxic grandparent. This is what emotional abuse looks like.

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About Suzanne Titkemeyer
Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 33 years. You can read more about the author here.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • RainbowPhoenix

    Maybe if Lori didn’t hate science so much she would know that a child’s emotions are both more extreme and more simple due to the physical structure of the brain. The more nuanced and complex adult emotions come as the brain physically matures during adolescence and into the person’s mid-twenties.

  • Allison the Great

    Further proof that Lori is devoid of empathy and derives pleasure from hurting others both physically and emotionally. I hate this woman, there is so, so much wrong with her.

  • Cynthia

    The 8 yr old’s father works for Ken, so he has less power than his siblings to oppose Lori and she seems to spend more time with his kids than the other grandchildren.

  • AFo

    Let’s not pretend Lori didn’t enjoy seeing her granddaughter in distress. She’s just as sadistic as her idol, Debi Pearl.

  • Gussie FinkNottle

    The way Lori tells it, the sweatshirt episode sounds like NBD. And I probably would have told my kid the same thing: that next time she needed to think and not panic just because we were walking ahead. She’s 8, not 3, and was on a bike, for Christ’s sake!

    BUT…I suspect that this kid’s “I wanna go home” reaction later means that the incident didn’t go down exactly like Lori says. If I were betting, I’d say she lost her temper in the park. And in any case that’s not how a grandparent should handle things. And it is definitely not her job to discipline and instruct.

  • SAO

    So, the 8 year old girl watches her grandparents walk away when she wants to put on her swearshirt because she is cold and gets upset she wants to go home where she feels safe. Lori tells her she’s wrong to be upset because she should feel safe with grandparents who leave her behind.

  • SAO

    If the girl didn’t know the area well, she might have worried that her grandparents would take a turn and she wouldn’t know where to go.

  • persephone

    In other words, Lori had to pay attention to someone other than herself. The hor9ror! Lori was inconvenienced for a few minutes. Will this persecution of Lori never end!?

    I’m going to assume, rightfully, I think, that previous treatment of the child by Lori has left her feeling scared and worried whenever she visits. I don’t remember ever freaking out when visiting my grandparents. I felt much more secure with them than with my parents.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    I think it’s likely this isn’t even the second or third time something like this has happened between Lori and the little girl

  • Gussie FinkNottle

    You might be right. I was envisioning a “we’re going to leave if you don’t hurry up” kind of scenario, and maybe she has actually done something like that before. My father used to pull BS tricks like holding me underwater or driving off with me standing on the curb. But yeah, clearly something broke the camel’s back.

  • Raging Bee

    Sounds like Lori is the one who needs to learn how to control her emotions. Would it really have killed her to stop and wait for a girl to put on ONE PIECE OF CLOTHING?

    Oh, and why did she have to brag about it? In a closed blog, because she knew the genpop would not agree with her?

  • BillyDee4

    When I was seven my mother was hospitalized, probably for depression. My two sisters were sent to our aunt’s summer cottage on a lake. The next day my father told my two brothers and me to get dressed in clothes we wore for special occasions. We thought we were in for a treat. Instead we drove for an hour. We stopped at a large building with iron gates. Above the gates was the name of the place: St Joseph Home for the Friendless. My father told us to get out of the car. He stay inside. He said, “You’re going to stay here for a while.” Then he turned to the nuns in charge and said, “If they cause you any trouble near them.” We were scared and confused. I thought I had done something wrong and we were all being punished. We were there for two months my parents came to take us home. I told the nuns I didn’t want to go. We never talked about the experience until we were in our forties. For years after that every time my father called to me I would start crying. I was afraid I was going to be sent away. It was a horrible way to live.

  • Jennny

    Oh, I’m so sorry. My experience was similar. My dad had a very dramatic breakdown when I was 8yo and mysteriously disappeared (into a mental hospital). We were visiting my aunt for Easter at the time, so I was left there and mum went home,100 miles away. She had to get a job and childcare didn’t exist 60+yrs ago. No one explained anything and I was desperately homesick. We’d packed for a week’s stay, so I had no toys, books etc, nothing familiar. I was terrified I was to blame for dad going away. After a few weeks, mum came for the weekend and we visited dad in a dark scary building. I’d overheard aunt say my dad ‘hated the shock treatments’. As we entered, I saw a room full of steel machines and thought it was a torture chamber, so my fears increased. Dad recovered, but, at 11yo, I started high school and, as class-monitor, it was my turn to go to the school kitchen with dinner numbers..and I had a panic attack because the ‘torture’ machines there were just like the hospital ones…IOW I’d seen the hospital kitchen when I was there! I still remember the noise of huge rumbling potato peeler machines..and still bear a fear of hospital equipment. A relative has to come with me and hold my hand if I need something like an MRI etc. to this day.

  • Annette G.

    She must be getting hard up for stuff to write about if she is reduced to this drivel. Stop for a minute and let the little girl put her sweatshirt on for cripes sake!

  • Gretchen Beam

    eh, if this is the same son, I believe that this is the one who punished this same girl over meals and force fed her when she refused food as well made her sit on a blanket and “trained” not to ask for what her parents were having for dinner. Besides Aunt Lori being the worst, can we also point out the hypocrisy of them watching their grandchildren again? This is the same woman who said couples don’t need date nights and mothers should never get a break. I guess that only applies to everyone else….

  • Cynthia

    Yup, it’s the same one.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    I’m so sorry! Families back then never explained to the kids what was going on and I think it’s left a lot of emotional scars. It sounds like being there was better than home if you didn’t want to leave. I would get routinely stuck in Catholic boarding school and it was a relief, no drinking, no drama, regular meals, and routines. I keep hearing how mean nuns were, but they were always way better to me than my own parents. I know how to cook and crochet just because those ladies figured out how neglected in the home I was and spent time with me..

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    I’m so sorry you had to go through that, but you really reinforced to me that it’s always better to be open about what is going on.

  • Friend

    What an awful experience. I am very sorry you went through that.

  • Saraquill

    That is horrific. My condolences.

  • Saraquill

    Then let’s hope this child goes to boarding school ASAP.

  • Friend

    The humane way: If you want a self-reliant child, be reliable. If you want an independent child, be dependable.

    The other way: If you want a fearful child, then just go ahead and ignore that child’s fears and worries. When the worries increase and the child starts to fuss, shame1 and blame1 the child. Then go online to show how you, the (chronological) adult, are the Big Boss of the World.

  • Friend

    My sympathy. You have recovered well from a horrible1 experience. I remember seeing a potato peeling machine at a chip shop in the UK long ago, and it was absolutely terrifying1.

    You are wise to have someone with you at medical appointments. I recommend this for everyone, actually, because patients never know when they will receive difficult news or need an advocate.

  • Jennny

    Way back then, adults ruled and children had no voice. It’s just how it was. Now should a traumatising event happen to my young g/children, they are fully aware that they are at liberty to ask questions, to demand therapy, speak to their school’s resident counsellor
    etc. And such practical issues for me back then included that my mum began to work weekends and had no car, so it was not possible for her to get to visit me often by train..and my kind aunt and uncle ran a 24hr taxicab business, much in demand when a lot of the town didn’t have cars…so they had no time to take me home for a visit either, they were under contract with the local maternity home to get women in labour to it, and to the port authority to get sailors out of pubs and brothels back to their ships before the tide turned etc etc…they worked very hard and had no relief personnel … Life was so different, but it wasn’t ‘the good old days.’

  • Nea

    So basically they’re all ganging up to give this helpless kid an anxiety disorder and then telling her it’s her fault for getting anxious?

  • Policing your victim’s emotions, and convincing them that any emotional response they have is wrong, inappropriate, and over-reacting — another chapter in the abuser’s handbook.

  • That’s… That’s something else my mother did.

    I need a moment.

  • Izumi Shikibu

    My heart is so sad for that little boy who was you. I sincerely hope your mom came home and was able to give you the love and understanding your father had not. I don’t understand why parents have children when it’s so apparent they don’t want to be bothered with caring for them. As soon as they become inconvenient in any way, uncaring parents put them aside like old shoes. People need to take a test to prove they can safely drive a car, but anybody can have a kid.

    My mother’s mother died when she was about 4. Her father hired housekeepers who were expected to look after his children, and his eldest, a daughter, was also expected to do mothering chores. Despite not having been nurtured through her childhood, somehow my mother understood that love in large doses was a good foundation for raising happy, well-rounded children. (That’s a generality, I know, but when I became an adult and then a mother myself, I realized how fortunate I had been to have such a loving mother when she herself had had very little given to her when she was so young.) I just wish all children could be wanted and loved.

  • I’m sorry. 🙁

    My Evil Ex… it didn’t matter how I reacted to him, he’d find some fault with it. “Too emotional”, “not emotional enough” (therefore he can ignore me), if I didn’t react at all I’d still get it because how dare I ignore him.

  • Jennifer

    So sorry for you both!

  • Jennifer

    So sorry 🙁 That’s what narcissists do too.

  • Jennifer

    And yet she still felt safer with her parents than Lori?

  • Jezebel’sOlderSister

    I’m thinking that there is more to this story than just Lori’s narrative.

  • Jezebel’sOlderSister

    My husband tried that garbage with me (yes, he was emotionally abusive — he was too afraid of me to be very physically abusive, he hit me twice in the relationship, I hit him back, both times).

  • Mimc

    Holding you underwater! WTF2? That’s awful.

  • Mimc

    I’m sure the only book of child development she’s ever read were written by the Pearls.

  • Jezebel’sOlderSister

    That’s really sad. Most kids love being with their grandparents.

  • Jezebel’sOlderSister

    My great-uncle had a butcher shop/deli — talk about a place looking like something out of your nightmares. I wasn’t taken (I was very little) there often, only a couple of times. But all those knives and the hooks he hung hams/bacon from for the curing process left an impression.

  • Raging Bee

    The way Lori tells it, the sweatshirt episode sounds like NBD.

    Then why did she go out of her way to tell it at all?

  • bekabot

    At least anxious needy girls are part of Lori’s permitted scenery. I hate to think of how she’d approach an anxious needy boy. Yikes.

  • Gussie FinkNottle

    Probably because it sets the stage for her “message,” which is that girls are overly emotional and need to get it together. That goes over better when there is a relatable anecdote to go with it. Relatable being a relative term, obvs.

  • Obviously, this little girl does not feel safe with her grandparents. Normally, I’d say an 8year old kid should be able put on a sweatshirt and catch up with her family, but who knows what happened before that incident? Perhaps she had good reasons not to trust her grandma?

    Also, I tend to believe that children should learn to control their emotions, but Lori could try to teach her in a more loving and friendly way. The kid here is just 8 yrs old, you cannot expect too much.

  • Raging Bee

    And it’s not like grownups have much better ability to put on clothing without slowing down. What if Lori was with a group of adults and one of them needed to put on a sweater? Would any of them have had any problem stopping less than a minute for her?

  • therealcie

    Lori is teaching what many of us learned at a young age. Shut up and stuff your emotions so you aren’t inconvenient. Evidently, the girl doesn’t feel safe or happy with her grandparents. Who would with an emotional abuser?
    To this day, I have a lot of trouble expressing emotions unless I completely explode because I’ve been suppressing them for so long. I tend to keep a placid exterior and never say what I’m really feeling.