When Old Geezers Are Envious of Youth Pastors

When Old Geezers Are Envious of Youth Pastors December 12, 2019
Figures Doug would hate surfing. Likely because it does not involve sitting on your ass pontificating while eating potato salad. Photo from Facebook

Checking in with Doug Wilson of Blog and Mablog and it’s a festival of oddities. There has always been an element of freak show about Wilson. He still envisions a world where the 1850s, where uppity brown people and those rascally gays know their places (according to him!), where happy slaves take care of their white folks, woman have no voice, and the pastor rules everyone. It’s a happy fantasy of Doug’s that will never happen.

I have been watching and reading the snippets of Doug’s book called “Evangellyfish” that seems to be nothing more than a Roman a clef where Doug throws shade at everyone else in the church world. So today I’m going to be posting a few clips from the series that are so revealing to the state of his faith being more hate based and not so much Christian faith, but faith in his own self.

You fall off your board you got bigger problems many times than sand in your trunks. I’ve seen some gruesome surf injuries living in Costa Rica. I used to surf, now I get to watch others younger than I surfing. This analogy only works if you know zero about surfing, which is Doug since it cannot be accomplished from your La-Z-Boy recliner. Any surfer worth a darn knows his or her limitations, knows which waves aren’t worth the risk, when to press forward, when to back off and, sometimes, when to ditch in mid-ride. Surfing and youth ministry ‘waves’ have little in common beyond being able to read the signs of what is happening.

More Doug tossing not so witty bon mots as what he imagines youth culture is like with no real knowledge of it. Skateboarding, men with earrings and droopy pants have been trendy for at least thirty years now.

What an outstandingly silly book! Does Doug really think that is all what the more modern youth pastors do? If that’s the case please explain the hideous wave of older Evangelical pastors busted for doing what Doug posits above?

He’s blaming trendy youth pastors for the ills that cut right across the board into all spectrum. What do you expect from someone that married a convicted child molester to a teenager?

This just all reads like Doug Wilson is jealous of youth. He’s jealous of guys wearing earrings, of surfers and skateboarders, of trendy clothing. Not one thing about Christ or the love of Christ in his paltry puling.

Of course this all dovetails nicely with Lori Alexander’s claims today that you cannot let your children out of your sight. Both Doug and Lori like to create fear among their followers of anything different by claiming it’s harmful. Thankfully most people see right through the fear mongering.

I don’t know about you, but I’d pay good money to see Pastor Doug try surfing…

ETA: I am NOT saying that NO youth pastors molest the kids in their care. I just don’t think the rates are higher among youth pastors than anyone else in the clergy. There is something about the religious power dynamic that breeds abuse at all levels. Please do not read things into what I have not explicitly spelled out.

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NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

I Fired God by Jocelyn Zichtermann

13:24 A Dark Thriller by M Dolon Hickmon

About Suzanne Titkemeyer
Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 33 years. You can read more about the author here.
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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Desperate Ambrose

    “I don’t know about you, but I’d pay good money to see Pastor Doug try surfing…”

    Not if “Pastor Doug” were going to get a percentage. . . .

  • SAO

    Wilson sneers at anything he doesn’t like. Take ‘Johnny’ agonizing over what earring to wear. Is that fundamentally different from someone like Wilson taking a moment or two to choose a tie to wear? No.

    But, one is ‘agonizing over how to look cool’ and I’m sure he’d think the second is ensuring his attire dignifies his position.

    Sneering is what people do when they have no rational argument. Has Wilson said anything about youth ministries? Made a single comment that has some content to it? Or is he just throwing potato salad?

  • Nea

    Both Doug and Lori like to create fear among their followers of anything different by claiming it’s harmful

    Let us not forget the isolationist Pearls and Gothard’s perfect family the Duggars. They get their audience by preying on anxiety and whipping up the fear that anything other than their voice is going to lead to cats and dogs living together.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    It goes without saying it would have to be in the service of something like raising funding for homeless gay teens, something that would chap his biscuits.

  • Raging Bee

    This guy thinks a lot about back rubs, front rubs, and “falling” (again and again and again and…). Was there any OTHER sort of point to his laughable whinery?

  • Nea

    Johnny is agonizing over what to wear to impress someone else that he doesn’t understand much like Dougie himself does with his everything.

    Dougie does not grasp that people wear earrings because they like the earrings, not because they’re making A Statement.

  • Nea

    Y’know, I clicked through to the amazon reviews, all of which made me raise an eyebrow. One of the 5-star ones specifically praises “its well-constructed sentences.”

    Seriously?

  • Raging Bee

    Him talk pretty one day.

  • Jennifer

    “Of course this all dovetails nicely with Lori Alexander’s claims today that you cannot let your children out of your sight.”

    But your grandkids are just fine to leave behind briefly while they struggle with sweaters.

  • Jezebel’sOlderSister
  • Jezebel’sOlderSister

    You know it’s a pretty lame book when the “best” you can do is compliment its grammar (especially when the reviewer probably wouldn’t recognize a “well-constructed sentence” if it jumped out and bit him).

  • Jezebel’sOlderSister

    I think that (cats and dogs living together) is already a thing:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvxsezx1uEc

  • Jezebel’sOlderSister

    I think it’s safe to say that if you are agonizing over what to wear in order to look cool means you are definitely NOT cool.

  • Michael Neville

    sitting on your arse2* pontificating while eating potato salad.

    You say that like it’s a bad thing.

    *Word slightly changed to get around the Official Patheos Naughty Word List™.

  • Tawreos

    Give Doug a break, he was on his last review and had worn himself out about all the good stuff he has in the book so he fell back on sentences.

  • Tawreos

    Both Doug and Lori like to create fear among their followers of anything different by claiming it’s harmful.

    If it were only Doug and Lori then religion would be tolerable, but this has been religions SOP for millennia at this point. It is really all they have, even though they like to dress it up differently every once in a while.

  • AFo

    Doug couldn’t be more of a crotchety grandpa trying to be hip if he tried. How anyone takes him seriously is beyond me.

  • Tawreos

    He finds enough of an audience to make it worth his while to keep doing what he is doing, and that scares me.

  • Tawreos

    Other than making the rape of an underage girl seem like a little accident instead of a crime?

  • Nea

    It was a quote from the original Ghostbusters movie, but this is adorable!

  • Jennifer

    That book has such a thing??

  • Tawreos

    Yep, on page 92.

  • Jezebel’sOlderSister

    (I know that — I saw the original when it first came out.)

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    Well, it is a favored pastime.

  • Jim Jones

    > where happy slaves take care of their white folks, woman have no voice, and the pastor rules everyone. It’s a happy fantasy of Doug’s that will never happen.

    So for him, ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ isn’t a dystopian novel, it’s a porno2?

  • Jim Jones

    > There is something about the religious power dynamic that breeds abuse at all levels.

    “Nothing discloses real character like the use of power. It is easy for the weak to be gentle. Most people can bear adversity. But if you wish to know what a man really is, give him power. This is the supreme test. It is the glory of Lincoln that, having almost absolute power, he never abused it, except on the side of mercy.”

    — Robert G. Ingersoll, about Abraham Lincoln

  • Jim Jones

    Welcome to your jury.

  • Jim Jones

    Churches buy these books in bulk to boost sales. They wind up, unread, in remainder bins.

  • Jennifer

    Dear God, what did it say?

  • Tawreos

    It’sin the third blue bubble up there under Those Darn Back Rubs. Basically the guy goes home with a teenage girl and they give each other special back rubs which leads to front rubs and then they “fall”.

  • tatortotcassie

    Wilson is such a cliche he’s sneering at “today’s youth” for trends that were trendy 25 years old.

  • Friend

    Wilson thinks he is interesting. I can barely muster the enthusiasm to confirm his quotes when I take issue with his cr@ppy writing.

  • Friend

    Actually, I’d be worried if he were a judge. Juries can have collective wisdom. I imagine that many jurors would find Doug Wilson completely insufferable1. Can you imagine being sequestered with him?

  • Saraquill

    Stopped clocks.

  • Saraquill

    If it came down to that, I would do my best to be ethnic and queer1 at him.

  • Saraquill

    He’d still end up like Nick rather than a commander.

  • Raging Bee

    I don’t know about you, but I’d pay good money to see Pastor Doug try surfing…

    Nah, “Point Break” was better.

  • Pink Fleur

    There has always been something so pedo-ish about Doug Wilson. No wonder he protected and promoted two pedophiles. One of the pedophiles was sexually aroused by his own new born baby son and the other pedophile2 repeatedly raped a young teen girl in Doug Wilson’s cult.

    Doug Wilson sounds bitter that he is not young and can’t lurk on and molest2 underage girls.

  • Pink Fleur

    Doug Wilson and his rube ilk are always pretending they know things they don’t.

  • Pink Fleur

    Incels, pedophiles, and men who have a fetish with slavery take him seriously.

  • Pink Fleur

    “please explain the hideous wave of older Evangelical pastors busted for doing what Doug posits above?”

    Doug Wilson is so in denial about everything he probably believes Doug Phillips and Bill Gothard are young cool men.

  • Raging Bee

    Rereading that bit: Yeah, he really does make her out to be the one deliberately conspiring to make the poor youth-pastor “fall.” SHE is, after all, the one offering the “specialty” treatments, and he’s just a poor sod overwhelmed by the magnitude of his duties.

  • Jennifer

    Show up in rainbow robe banging a drum!

  • Jennifer

    OH, sorry, I read pretty briefly through that section of the article and thought they were the same age. But nope, there it is, she’s a senior. My gosh, he is 1screwier2 than a bed spring.

  • Jennifer

    Unless he’s implying they were both teens when the relationship first started? IDK.

  • Jennifer

    Wait, TWO pedos? What happened to the one he didn’t marry off?

  • Tawreos

    No need to apologize, we all miss things and that is what the comment section is for. =)