Love is a Luxury?

Love is a Luxury? January 29, 2020

A quick one today due to high winds and flickering lights.

A quote by John Piper about the role of romantic love in marriage. Now we know where Lori Alexander gets her bad ideas at, even while she’s watching romance movies on the Hallmark Channel and UP Channel.

and here is Lori’s rantings about her recent romantic viewings of movies…

John Piper and Lori Alexander. Squeezing every drop of love out of every relationship. Sounds so miserable from here.


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About Suzanne Titkemeyer
Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 33 years. You can read more about the author here.
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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Raging Bee

    …and here is Lori’s rantings…

    …written, as usual, in the comic-sans script of a schoolgirl too young to really understand what she’s ranting about.

  • Tawreos

    I am not sure what Piper is saying. You can’t worry about love in your marriage because Jesus married the church? For people that don’t support same sex marriage they seem to be awfully fine with imaginary being and bloated concept marriage. Of course people matter less than ideas to them.

  • RachaelinGreen

    I’m convinced Lori is a case study in “Misery loves company.”

  • Nea

    Several things occur, but I’m mostly wondering why Lori spent a couple hours of her life watching a movie that offended her principles. She seriously didn’t have any other, better, more Godly use for her time?

  • AFo

    Why does it bother this crowd so much that people actually want to be in love before they marry someone? Just because seemingly none of them have ever genuinely loved their spouses, doesn’t mean it’s actually a good thing.

    Lori, woman, you seriously need a hobby or five.

  • Mel

    The New Testament writing on marriage make no sense. Ever. My personal theory of how the pro-marriage writings were done involve mind-altering effects of local mushrooms combined with writers who never actually lived as a married person.

    The secondary problem was that the Gospels and around half of the Epistles are written from the viewpoint of people who thought the end of the world was coming in the next few years – and who in their right mind would marry, procreate and be left trying to care for children during the Apocalypse or total societal collapse.

    Spoiler: That didn’t happen – so we included some really off-the-wall ideas like “Men should be nice to their wives, kids and slaves. Why? Because theological ramblings?”. Honestly, that didn’t stick much either……

  • Desperate Ambrose

    A genuinely sacramental marriage should reflect the “covenant-keeping love between Christ and the church”. Why Piper seems to think “romantic attractions” are irrelevant, however, is beyond me.

  • Raging Bee

    Because Paul?

  • Milo C

    I think Piper is intending his message mostly for unhappy wives. Silent and submissive, ladies, if you want into heaven. *choke**gag*

  • persephone

    She usually watches Hallmark, so I’m assuming she hit the wrong button on the remote while in a chardonnay daze.* I’m sure she’ll call her TV service to complain.

    * I do not know if Lori drinks. However, Lori has never, despite her many diet and food screeds, said anything against alcohol.

  • Nea

    Same question, really. It would be one thing if she was watching movies while doing something – I taught myself to knit without looking down so I could watch and knit – but she doesn’t seem to be? She’s just… watching a lot of romances and then complaining about them.

  • Nea

    I legit do not know why comic sans is considered so risible. (I’m not talking about Lori now, just the font.)

  • Raging Bee

    Whatever one calls it, it’s the writing style of a grade-school girl, and I, for one, think it reflects Lori’s childish mindset. So here it’s not as risible as it is kinda sick and creepy.

  • Tawreos

    Because it could lead to the woman giving her heart away to a guy that isn’t interested in her and we all know that the heart can only love once so the man that actually marries her will get a used heart in the deal and no one wants a used heart (ignore the donor lists). And because if you are spending time falling in love with each other one of you will take their eyes off of god and Jesus and that could lead to a smiting, so it is best not to risk it. But mostly it is because they are control freaks that know if you let them control who and how you love that they can control the rest of you with little effort.

  • persephone

    Most of these fundagelicals don’t know any of the context, and they wouldn’t care if they did. They’re all very “inerrant word of God” with the Bible. Every now and then I annoy them with pointing out that they’ve been talking about Armageddon being due for 2,000 years now, and we’re getting a little tired of the message being continuously on repeat for two millennia.

  • Tawreos

    Lori was offended enough to scribble up some stuff, that doesn’t mean she was offended enough to change the channel. Did you ever notice how people like Lori or OMM are the ones that inform you of a “bad” show that you never even heard of before they obviously flipped out about it? If they weren’t watching they wouldn’t know either.

  • Saraquill

    Lori, we haven’t forgotten how you committed reproductive abu5e to force Ken to conform to your wishes.

  • Polytropos

    Because a) they’re stuck in loveless marriages and trying to convince themselves that’s not a problem, and b) it’s very hard to arrange marriages for your children if they want to marry someone they love.

  • David S.

    The more legitimate argument is that it’s just massively overused. There’s some serious hatred for Helvetica/Arial; to quote Wikipedia, “criticism from type designers including Erik Spiekermann and Martin Majoor, both of whom have criticised the design for {Helvetica’s} omnipresence and overuse.” Certainly there’s a huge variety of handwriting fonts available for free, and using Comic Sans shows that you didn’t really think about it. But that’s probably another factor; that it’s a comic font that looks like it’s quickly and simply written out, instead of using a more formal font or the typesetting version of a serious handwriting script. One could do Palatino or Akzidenz-Grotesk or Albertus, or you could do Gabriola or other nice script font, but instead they used a casual handwriting font, which seems to defeat the point of typesetting.

  • Nea

    Apparently she ticked his boxes as well; I do wonder why he stays sometimes. It freaked me out that he went to the point of barring his own wife from his hospital room the last time he was ill. That ain’t love. That isn’t even “like.”

  • Nea

    To me, that pales in the face of her stating that following only the words of Jesus isn’t Godly enough.

  • Lori wouldn’t know love if it came up and bit her on the nose.

  • Comic Sans has one redeeming quality — it’s easy to read.

  • Ruthitchka

    Wow, creepy!

  • Jennifer

    Well, some shows get a lot of advertising. But pretty sure this one, ending and all, did not.

  • frostysnowman

    If they really want young women to want to get married, they should stop making marriage sound like loveless, subservient torture.

  • frostysnowman

    We’ll also accept “water seeks its own level”.

  • You mean he had a moment of lucidity?

  • Raging Bee

    And sad.

  • persephone

    They seem to have bought wholesale into the “till death9 do us part” bit. No divorce9 ever. I think that Ken has adjusted to it. She’s backed off on his eating habits. She takes out her unhappiness9 and anger9 on women online, instead of him.

    At this point, with the length of the marriage and Lori having not held a job in at least 30 years, I would assume that it’s literally cheaper to keep her. She’s not going to be able to get a job. He would have to pay for two households, and I’m sure he doesn’t want to sell the house. She’d get a chunk of whatever retirement savings they might have, and any investments made, etc., as California is a community property state. There’d be an absolute mess with the kids and grandkids. And you know Lori would have a nervous breakdown, real or feigned, if it happened.

    He’s probably thrilled that Lori has found the internet. Writing a post for her now and then seems to be all that she requires.

  • persephone

    I understand she babysits some of the grandkids–very poorly–but it must not be fulltime.

  • smrnda

    Maybe some women have bigger, more ambitious dreams than men? Should a woman be a help meet to a guy without dreams, or maybe realize some of her own and then find a man who wants to share them? It just seems that, within the plot of the movie, things work out better for the man and the woman both.

  • Kaia Rose

    I thought that was just her handwriting. I kinda like it, actually. Although, I like my own chicken scratch, too. I just wonder how much time she spent on writing so neatly. And how many times it took to get her page ‘right.’ Then again, if she spent a lifetime focusing on perfecting her handwriting…well, to each their own.

    Mine is rougher and less neat, but that’s because I’m focused on my thoughts, not my penmanship. Also had a Freudian slip. I wrote lietime instead of lifetime.

  • Dana W

    Because they live to be offended. The same way they spend more time thinking about gay sex than any gay person I’ve ever known. They love to wind themselves into fits of self righteous rage.

  • Raging Bee

    …as opposed to a genuinely REAL marriage, which shouldn’t have room for vague blithering abstractions taking priority over real people or their real needs and interests.

  • Raging Bee

    Sorry if I used the wrong font name, I was posting in a bit of haste. My point was in regard to how childish her schtick looks.

  • Raging Bee

    Cute icon!

  • Rann

    It was also the standard auto-loaded handwriting script in MS Word.

    I blame Bill Gates et al.

  • Emersonian

    Yeah no, I was just saying it’s not a font at all but that she’s obsessive enough to painstakingly handwrite out all that stuff instead of typing it. Because Lori is kinda nuts.

  • Rann


    That’s one heck of an understatement, Emersonian!

  • Rann

    ….because they all showcase better relationships than her, perhaps? More than a wee touch of jealousy??

  • Raging Bee

    Maybe I should have called it “overgrown schoolgirl courier?”

  • Desperate Ambrose

    I think a genuinely sacramental marriage is a genuinely REAL marriage. That doesn’t necessarily mean the opposite must be true, but it is hard to imagine a marriage between believers in which Christ’s love for us isn’t the standard.

  • Raging Bee

    It all depends on what, exactly, is meant by “sacramental.”

  • Desperate Ambrose

    In this context, at least, it means that we are to be sacraments to one another.

  • Raging Bee

    That’s still pretty vague. Unconstitutionally vague, in fact.

  • Nea

    OMG, I just figured it out! Lori wants to be the Pinterest queen of Christianity.

  • CindyatUnderMuchGraceDOTcom

    Half of the stuff these people say sounds like something that must turn people into rapist killers with a religious fixation.

  • Desperate Ambrose

    Fortunately, It’s not a law. ; – p (*RIMSHOT*)

    I think at least part of the reason it’s vague is that every relationship is unique. There’s no one-size-fits-all way to make a relationship work, although there are commonalities. I recall reading an article in Psychology Today, years ago, saying that a certain study had found that the couples who were most likely to report satisfaction/happiness with their relationship tended to consist of people whose approach was more “What can I do for my partner?” rather than “What can I do to get my needs met?”. This is a good example of what I meant. (Yes, my idea of a “sacramental marriage” differs a bit from Rome’s. Mea culpa.)

  • RachaelinGreen

    Thank you! It’s from “Trails of Cold Steel.”