Lori Alexander Advocates Beating Children Yet Again

Lori Alexander Advocates Beating Children Yet Again February 5, 2020

I have screen caps of this hot mess by Lori Alexander of The Transformed Wife posted earlier today. Right now, the first time I could get online again since Monday morning, some are reporting she’s deleted parts of this, or taken it down all together.

It should be taken down. There is nothing redeeming, graceful, merciful,  or any other positive thing about physically harming your children for any reason. Spanking children is abuse, and it’s banned in many countries. The American Academy of Pediatrics bans it because of the evidence it increases aggression and has many negative social, mental and physical health consequences.

This is what Lori is promoting, abusing children. This is child abuse, not discipline, no matter what she claims.

Lori’s lies:

“There are too many children who are being left to themselves. Their parents aren’t disciplining, nor are they training their children. They have fallen for the “gentle parenting” movement. They refuse to say “no” to their children or tell them what they should do. They want them to have a “free spirit” so when they are biting, hitting, and pulling out other children’s hair, their response is, “They’ll grow out of it.” This is testing God. This is playing Russian roulette with their children. This is disobeying God’s clear instructions in His Word. They are raising rebellious children. Part of loving your children, women, is disciplining and training them.”

You’ve heard the old saying ‘Pictures or it didn’t happen’? This applies to her words. We need links, facts, figures, stories, statistics, not Lori’s usual assumptions about everyone else with nothing to back it up.

““Can you legally spank your child? The short answer is yes. In all 50 states and the District of Columbia, you are not forbidden by law to use corporal punishment on your child as long as the form of punishment is reasonable and does not cause injury.”

Is God a gentle parent? “For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth” (Hebrews 12:6). I already defined chasten for you. What about scourge? “To punish with severity; to chastise; to afflict for sins or faults, and with the purpose of correction.” He disciplines us for our good and because He loves us. Do likewise for your children. Train them up in the way they should go.”

Better to concentrate on why your child is misbehaving, and deal with the underlying issue that to attempt to beat them for every perceived slight. The problem with spanking is the not causing injury. Abuse is more than bruises and welts, it’s hateful words, it’s a cold haughty attitude of a parent, it’s a mother and father that spank a child for over four hours, like Lori has bragged about doing plenty of times.

Please do not spank or hit your child. It’s too easy to permanently harm not only their bodies, but their souls, spirits, social, emotion lives too. Lori, you are a monster for insisting on this!


Still having internet issues here. Kolbi has been out repeatedly and will continue to try and figure out why we don’t have internet. Sadly we are battling against the dreaded Tico Time at the same time, the tendency of the locals to take their sweet time in doing anything.

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About Suzanne Titkemeyer
Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 33 years. You can read more about the author here.
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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Well… she’s right that there’s a segment of parents that refuse to discipline their kids or teach them how to behave appropriately.


    Violence is not the answer to that problem.

    So as usual, Lori starts with a plausible premise, and then goes off the rails.

  • Emersonian

    Wait, what is this 4 hour spanking session you’re referencing??

  • Rann

    WMD Kitty, are you SURE she was ever on the rails to begin with????? I’m really having doubts!

  • Nah. It’s more like she briefly touches the rails in passing.

  • Saraquill

    How involved has she been with child rearing? For that matter, how many of her adult children speak to her?

  • Friend

    They have fallen for the “gentle parenting” movement. They refuse to say “no” to their children or tell them what they should do. They want them to have a “free spirit” so when they are biting1, hitting1, and pulling out other children’s hair, their response is, “They’ll grow out of it.” This is testing God.

    1. Movement? People have refrained from spanking1 for decades.

    2. Hmm, we never spanked1, and our offspring never bit, hit, or pulled hair.

    3. Parents who don’t spank1 actually do say no. Willful confusion.

    4. “This is testing God.” Say what?

  • Friend

    In many states, it is illegal for parents to spank1 adopted and foster children. So she’s wr0ng about that too.

  • Tawreos

    Is God a gentle parent?

    Nothing says gentle quite like “Love me or I will torture you for eternity.”

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    She and Ken brag about a time when they had to spank a child many times over a four hour stretch to make her mind.

  • Mark in Ohio

    Why am I reminded of that old phrase, “They couldn’t have been said to have grown up on the wrong side of the tracks, ’cause they would have torn them up and sold them for scrap metal.”

    From all I’ve read about Lori, she’s a person who has grown up without a shred of human decency, compassion, or moral understanding, and is proud of the fact. She is a shining beacon of darkness and depravity.

  • Raging Bee

    Upvoted in sheer revulsion.

  • Littleblueheathen

    I was spanked as a child. And I bit, hit, and pulled hair every chance I got. So I was spanked some more. And the message I got from that was, If someone displeases you, hit them. It took me a while to grow out of that, but I learned better.

  • SAO

    The pro-spanking crowd appears to think that the only cause for misbehavior is the child being bad and the only possible parental response is spanking. Thus, you have Lori suggesting that gentle parenting is no parenting and gentle parents never say no to their children. This is just wrong. Parents owe it to their children to parent without abuse. Ignorance is no excuse.

    There are a gazillion books about how to parent without spanking. 1-2-3 Magic discusses dealing with difficult children. One of the best books — a pamphlet, really — I saw was called ABC for Antecedents (what came before the behavior), Behavior, and Consequences. It suggests writing down every incident of difficult behavior. I didn’t go that far, but focusing on this made me realize my son tantrumed in front of the cookie kiosk (or other similar vendor) when he was hungry and that I needed to make sure he wasn’t late for lunch if we went to the mall, otherwise, my choices were to let him be hungry, miserable and misbehaved; punish him for being hungry, miserable and misbehaved or reward the tantrum with a cookie. As a parent, it’s very easy to reward behavior you don’t like.

  • Friend

    So sorry that happened to you. Good for you, for finding a way to grow out of it!

  • AFo

    I’m sure Lori thinks the mountains of evidence that spanking is abusive and harmful to kids are just secularist propaganda. There’s no reasoning with her.

  • persephone

    I’ve noticed that the people online who proclaim that they were spanked and turned out just fine are the exact same people who start screaming at strangers over any disagreement.

  • Sassafras

    They also berate retail workers, vote for bullies, send deaths threats to politicians they dislike, etc.

  • Rann

    “Close” only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

  • Mimc

    Again with the dicotomy of spanking or permissive parenting. You can parent a child with gentleness and respect while still enforcing house rules. Lori just thinks it’s impossible because she doesn’t know how.