Choosing Respect

Choosing Respect November 4, 2011

I don’t really watch Dancing with the Stars, in fact, we just got rid of our cable last month. But I noticed that this particular season there was a flurry of news stories everywhere about one of the new contestants on this seasons show, and the comments on these news stories are shocking to me.

The raging controversy was over the participation of Chaz Bono, a female to male transgendered person. Chaz lasted six rounds of dancing before receiving the dreaded combo of lowest scores and lowest number of votes and had to leave. But while he was a contestant, I saw an endless stream of news articles on this topic. Many of them complained about Mr Bono’s weight (size discrimination is a whole other problem) or debated if he really qualifies as a star. But the main point of most of these posts, articles and comments has been hatred for the fact that he is a transsexual, many of them angry that Chaz is living as male, debating the state of his genitals, making crude jokes about his sexual orientation or performance.

Here is one example of the type of “new” stories I’ve been seeing on this topic. The Fox News website, (which ironically claims to be “fair and balanced”) Hosts this article which outright mocks Chaz, making light of his medical condition and struggle, and then exhorts readers to keep their children from watching the show, lest they catch the condition from Chaz.

This sort of hate-speech baffles me and angers me. No person would ever make the choice to feel the way Chaz does. No one sits down and tries to come up with ways to be more hated by society. In his wrestling with this condition, Chaz has made the decision to live more closely in line with how his gender feels to him and that is his choice, no one else’s. No one watching TV is affected by what medication Chaz takes or what clothing he puts on in the morning. And the people close to him may be able to relate better to Chaz now that he is caring for his condition: much as anyone who faithfully takes their blood pressure medication or anti-depressant meds is better able to be the spouse, parent, friend and employee they want to be. Transgendered persons are just as human as the rest of us, and in fact there are more of them then you think. Chaz just has the misfortune of being from a well-known family, most transgendered people are anonymous to most of the world.

Regardless of one’s beliefs on whether or not people should use medical intervention to aid in their struggle as a transsexual, I completely fail to see how spewing hate and anger and judgement does anything productive or helpful. After the writer of the Fox article mocks and degrades Chaz Bono, he goes on to say that Chaz should be treated with dignity, as if this writer even knows the meaning of the word! He talks about how every other step should be taken before acquiescing to surgical options.

Don’t you think that any person wrestling with gender dysphoria would try anything and everything to deal with their condition before opting to become a member of one of the most hated groups in America? I find it disgusting that this Dr who has never treated Chaz, goes on and on about how he would treat his condition if only Chaz had come to him. He even sounds somewhat offended that Chaz didn’t ask him for his opinion!

And warning people to not allow their children to watch the show? Why? Because watching a couple dance could cause your child to question their gender identity? How does that make any sense? There have been gay contestants on the show, does that mean that kids start questioning their sexuality after watching a gay contestant dance? Or what about an overweight contestant, maybe a child could be tempted to become obese! All the contestants wear clothing when they dance, a child wouldn’t see anything different watching chaz dance than they would seeing anyone else dance. Either watch the show or don’t watch it, but don’t make this a “moral” position.

Supposedly the writer of this article is a “fair and balanced” dissenting “empathic” person. He is wrong. He is hateful, not empathic. He is not fair or balanced, he is judgemental and presumptive.

Here is another link . This article describes the relationship between a Catholic Nun and a Transexual woman. No judgement here, no alienation or proclamation on what she should have done. Instead there is acceptance, love, encouragement and support.

There is so much emphasis in both the religious and secular community on how GLBTQ people “choose” to live. What will you choose when faced with someone who experiences life differently than you do, someone who believes or acts differently than you do?
Does an opinion matter more than our common humanity?

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