July 23, 2019

Looking into online dating was one of the best things I did for my marriage. When looking for ways to improve my marriage, online dating made me appreciate my husband and want to keep working on our marriage even when things seem tough. I didn’t actually sign up and pay for the service to improve my marriage. I checked out a site because a single friend who was using one was having a hard time finding a match. She discovered… Read more

July 11, 2019

Show me your girlfriends, and I’ll tell you what kind of marriage you have. I’ll tell you which ones you may find yourself hanging out with on the single’s scene because your marriage fell apart. Friendship is important, but all girlfriends are not created equal. The last thing you need are a bunch of “Amen Sisters,”  women who discourage behaviors that strengthen your marriage and encourage you to tear your husband down. Those are the people you should avoid because… Read more

July 9, 2019

Does clutter cause conflict in your marriage? Or does a messy marriage cause clutter? If your marriage feels hard and you have a messy house, it’s tempting to connect the two. But a messy house is not at the root of your marriage problems. I just watched my first episode of Tidying Up with Marie Kondo.  Tidying Up with Marie Kondo is a popular reality TV show on Netflix. Marie is a little Japanese organizing  guru. The camera follows her… Read more

July 9, 2019

I learned three important lessons about expectations in marriage from the Colgate Pump. Yep, I’m talking about toothpaste. Expectations in marriage are a huge source of disagreement and disappointment. Let me explain. When we married, I had a fundamental problem with my husband’s expectations about how to get toothpaste out of the tube. Thank God for the Colgate Pump I squeezed the tube in the middle (or at the end or wherever I picked it up). My husband preferred that… Read more

July 1, 2019

I recently read an article that said childbirth is a bigger factor in divorce than infidelity. You’re more likely to split up because you had a baby than because one of you cheated. According to the Relationship Research Institute in Seattle, within three years of the birth of a child, about two-thirds of couples find the quality of their relationship declines. Five years after the birth of a child, 13 percent of couples divorced. What’s up? You did all the work… Read more

July 1, 2019

You’re not the only one who feels insecure sometimes. Everyone does. Insecurity and self-doubt can affect your marriage. A lack of confidence brings on a set of problems all its own in marriage. It affects emotional intimacy and will contribute to pushing your husband away.  It may appear as if marriage brings out insecurity or self-doubt. Does he make you feel bad? I thought my husband had this uncanny ability to make me feel bad about myself. It seemed like… Read more

June 16, 2019

I was an expert at being a husband. Here’s the problem. I’m not a husband. I’m a wife. But I thought I could “train” my husband to be a good husband. I thought if I could control how he behaved, we’d be a happy couple. So I nagged, critiqued, and complained. I read books and suggested he read a few, too. And I insisted we have an ongoing dialog about the relationship. I tried to influence him by telling him… Read more

June 10, 2019

When my marriage was in the tank, I got a lot of great advice that made it worse. Sure, I read books and talked to people. But none of it helped. So how do you deal with a failing marriage? Seems like when you’re having a hard time, you’ll find there’s no shortage of people who know exactly what you should do. Everyone’s an expert on how you should fix your marriage. The result? You grow more disappointed, frustrated and… Read more

June 6, 2019

I was wrecking my marriage, and I didn’t even realize it. Five years in and I was ready to give up. I thought the problem was my husband. If he’d just “shape up,” we’d have a great marriage. He didn’t want to spend time with me, and he didn’t seem interested in meeting my needs. Here’s why. Almost everything he did was met with my disapproval. I thought he’d changed. He wasn’t the guy I’d married. In reality, I was… Read more

May 28, 2019

Being a wife and a mom is like having two full-time jobs. Who comes first? Your husband or your kids? It’s easy to tip the scales in favor of your kids. After all, your husband is a grown man. How can you balance being a wife and a mom? Giving your all to your children is admirable but draining. If you can remember how many times you kissed your 3-year-old’s boo-boo’s last month but can’t remember the last time you… Read more

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