May 20, 2019

My son asked me the other day when’s the last time I’d had a “real” job. I’m a stay-at-home-mom. He went on to clarify:  A job where, you know, you “worked.” I’m a professional home organizer, which means I’m a cook, a nurse, a teacher, a custodian, an accountant, a concierge, a chauffeur, a therapist, a judge, a jury, a warden, a coach and chief nose wiper. I’m a wife, too. And staying home can be hard on a marriage. … Read more

May 16, 2019

What do you do when a friend shares she’s is in a hard place in her marriage? How do you respond? Do you avoid, advise, instruct, criticize? I wish I could say I’ve always been compassionate and have taken time to listen. But I haven’t. Let me explain. A few years ago, I got on a plane and sat next to a woman who didn’t speak airplane. Before the plane took off, I turned my back and stared out the… Read more

May 9, 2019

Has he lost that loving feeling? Are you scratching your head wondering where it’s gone? Your inner control freak may be driving it (and him) away. Don’t think you’re a control freak? Most control freaks don’t. The problem with control is sometimes you don’t recognize it as control. You see it as being helpful or honest or just wanting things done right. But when you try to control the outcome because you’re afraid of what might happen if you don’t,… Read more

May 9, 2019

My mom had a harshness about her I didn’t understand as a kid. I thought she was just mean. I vowed never to be like her. As a young wife, I tolerated her. I thought I was smarter than she was and she couldn’t teach me anything. Because I knew it all. Later I realized she taught me lessons I couldn’t value from my limited, immature perspective. She taught lessons with her life. I didn’t realize I’d paid attention until… Read more

May 2, 2019

If a wife discovers her husband has been secretly viewing porn, violated and disappointed are understatements. What if you discover your husband is viewing porn? Trust takes a huge hit. And intimacy suffers.  During an episode of a popular show on NBC, one of the main characters suspects her fiancé is viewing pornography. She’s not upset. She laughs. In that 10-second scene, NBC normalizes porn in relationships. If a character on a popular TV show laughs when she thinks her… Read more

May 2, 2019

When my husband and I married, I thought it was my responsibility to teach him how to do things the right way. (My way.) When he called me a control freak, I got mad. But I didn’t know how to stop being a control freak and let my husband take over. I disguised my control as “help.” As his wife, I made it my number one duty to help him. He called me bossy. I told him how to do… Read more

April 25, 2019

Are you constantly searching for ways to improve your marriage? When I was miserable in my  marriage, I desperately looked for ways to make it better. It seemed like everything I tried only made it worse. I read books. I talked to friends. I talked to counselors. All the great advice I tried didn’t improve our marriage, so I thought I’d married the wrong guy. Maybe you can relate. Do you want to find something that’ll give your husband a good… Read more

April 22, 2019

You love him so much. Why does he push you away? As the closest person to him, you’re more familiar with his flaws and shortcomings. It’s understandable that you want to make your husband better and help him live up to his potential. But instead of pulling him closer, you may be creating distance. The more you help the more distant he becomes. Sometimes when you try to “help” him, you actually push him away. Many times I’ve tried to… Read more

April 17, 2019

Do you try to make your man feel loved, but it doesn’t seem to work? He doesn’t act like he loves you back. He’s distant and doesn’t want to spend time with you. Have you ever considered your man’s behavior towards you as “feedback?” And his “feedback” is telling you he doesn’t appreciate your love. How can you make him feel loved? He may be responding to you because of the way he thinks you’re treating him. What makes you… Read more

April 5, 2019

Maybe you made the same mistake I did. When I got married, I thought my husband was supposed to make me happy. Just a few months in, I thought I’d married the wrong guy. He looked like the same guy. The name on his driver’s license matched the name on our marriage license, but he was not the same guy. And I was not happy. I decided to change him. Changing him was harder than I thought. We agreed to… Read more

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