Did you go into marriage thinking it’d be your happy place? I did. And when it wasn’t, I blamed my husband. He was supposed to be my personal happy machine. He didn’t see it that way. And since he wasn’t making me happy, I started making him miserable. I’d nag and complain because he seemed more interested in anything other than me. I longed for a happy, emotionally intimate relationship. We weren’t ever going to have one at the rate... Read more
Marrying young isn’t for everyone, but there are some benefits to those who do. People are waiting longer and longer to get married these days. Some think they may somehow be missing out by getting married young. Others think it’s better to get married when you’re older and wiser. Whether you’re old or young, marriage can be tough. You’re going to have ups and downs if you marry at 25 or 45. Is it good to marry young? I’ve been... Read more
“Lisa” said she wishes she knew what she knows now when she got married. She thinks it might’ve saved her marriage. She thought her husband was uncaring, disconnected and didn’t care about her. What if “Lisa” had known what she was experiencing in her marriage was normal? If she had known what to expect, she might not have been so quick to file for a divorce. She admits she thought they weren’t compatible because they thought differently. And she didn’t... Read more
Do you ever fight over silly things? We had a huge argument was over a can of tuna once. After a long day at work, I was exhausted. I just wanted to plop down in front of the TV and eat the last of the tuna salad. But my husband beat me to it. When I walked in the door, he was finishing it off. Ordinarily not a big deal. But I was tired, so it was a big deal.... Read more
Have you ever thought “Crap, I married the wrong person” ? Marriage has a lot less to do with marrying the right person and more to do with doing the right things with the person you married. Maybe you’re in a rough spot in your marriage and you’re having a hard time finding your way back to “happily ever after.” When things aren’t going well, there’s hope. You can get your relationship back on track. Why You Said ‘I Do’... Read more
When I’d been married almost ten years, I thought I knew it all. At least I thought I knew it all about being a Christian wife. I had almost 10 years experience. A lot of couples don’t even make it to 10 years. I must be doing something right. I was 30, a real adult. I had three kids and a house. My kids were happy. My husband seemed satisfied. What more could I possibly learn about marriage? Looking back,... Read more
God is love. He wants you to be happy. That’s what I told myself when I was miserable in my marriage. A loving god wouldn’t want me to be miserable the rest of my life. I finally concluded, “The God of love doesn’t want me to be married. At least not to this guy.” Click here for “How to be a Wife No Man Will Ever Want to Leave” Challenge! I thought I needed a new husband. While it’s true... Read more
What does your husband need from you? Shaunti Feldhahn, a bestselling author and social researcher, wrote a book detailing things men wish women knew. It’s called For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men. In it, she discusses the surprising truths she discovered after interviewing more than 1,000 men. Here are a few things she found out about men: Men would rather feel unloved than feel inadequate and disrespected. A man’s anger is often a... Read more
When I wanted people to think my marriage was perfect, I was miserable. What looked perfect on the outside was a mess on the inside. I compared my marriage to other people’s marriages and thought, “How can I have a great marriage, too?” Everyone else’s marriage seemed prefect. I learned the secret to a perfect marriage: There are none. When you see a marriage that looks perfect what you’re really seeing is the result of hard work and commitment. But I... Read more
Bad habits in marriage can ruin a perfectly good relationship or make a bad one worse. Don’t think you have bad habits? I didn’t either. I’ve valued others’ opinions over my husband’s, weaponized sex and put him off in favor of the Thursday night line-up on NBC. I’m not proud of it, but my bad habits were creating distance between my husband and me and tanking my marriage. Building a strong relationship takes time and intention. I thought since we loved... Read more
The Not So Excellent Wife
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