What should a wife do if she wants to improve her marriage? How should she treat her husband? I wrestled with this question for years. How did some women make marriage look effortless while I struggled? No matter what I tried, it didn’t seem to have a lasting impact on my marriage. I read books. I bargained. I pouted. I got traditional counseling. Nothing worked long-term. Turns out, those weren’t the things I needed to do to improve my marriage. ... Read more
Does respect come naturally to you? I’m not going to lie. It doesn’t for me. I’m married to a great man, but I’ve struggled with respect. Partly because I didn’t know I could disrespect him in so many ways. Growing up, I wasn’t taught to respect my husband, why he needed it or how I was supposed to give it. The idea of showing respect to your husband seemed outdated when I got married. Women aren’t taught to respect men. Men... Read more
Men need respect. That’s just the way it is. God made them that way. It ranks a few notches below oxygen. Men, your husband included, need respect to thrive. It’s what allows him to be all he can be. And, his wife is a major contributor to his respect account. The Apostle Paul gave women the key to a happy marriage over 2000 years ago: Respect your husbands. Seems hardly fair. Paul was a man. Yeah, but he’s right. Okay.... Read more
What if you discovered you can change husband and your marriage. This isn’t a trick. The fastest way to change your husband and your marriage is to change the way you think about them. I changed my mindset and changed my marriage. I chose to see my husband and my marriage differently. Thoughts are small, but they’re powerful. And they can control you. They can influence the way you respond to your husband and the way you view your marriage. Actions stem... Read more
Looking into online dating was one of the best things I did for my marriage. When looking for ways to improve my marriage, online dating made me appreciate my husband and want to keep working on our marriage even when things seem tough. I didn’t actually sign up and pay for the service to improve my marriage. I checked out a site because a single friend who was using one was having a hard time finding a match. She discovered... Read more
Show me your girlfriends, and I’ll tell you what kind of marriage you have. I’ll tell you which ones you may find yourself hanging out with on the single’s scene because your marriage fell apart. Friendship is important, but all girlfriends are not created equal. The last thing you need are a bunch of “Amen Sisters,” women who discourage behaviors that strengthen your marriage and encourage you to tear your husband down. Those are the people you should avoid because... Read more
Does clutter cause conflict in your marriage? Or does a messy marriage cause clutter? If your marriage feels hard and you have a messy house, it’s tempting to connect the two. But a messy house is not at the root of your marriage problems. I just watched my first episode of Tidying Up with Marie Kondo. Tidying Up with Marie Kondo is a popular reality TV show on Netflix. Marie is a little Japanese organizing guru. The camera follows her... Read more
I learned three important lessons about expectations in marriage from the Colgate Pump. Yep, I’m talking about toothpaste. Expectations in marriage are a huge source of disagreement and disappointment. Let me explain. When we married, I had a fundamental problem with my husband’s expectations about how to get toothpaste out of the tube. Thank God for the Colgate Pump I squeezed the tube in the middle (or at the end or wherever I picked it up). My husband preferred that... Read more
I recently read an article that said childbirth is a bigger factor in divorce than infidelity. You’re more likely to split up because you had a baby than because one of you cheated. According to the Relationship Research Institute in Seattle, within three years of the birth of a child, about two-thirds of couples find the quality of their relationship declines. Five years after the birth of a child, 13 percent of couples divorced. What’s up? You did all the work... Read more
You’re not the only one who feels insecure sometimes. Everyone does. Insecurity and self-doubt can affect your marriage. A lack of confidence brings on a set of problems all its own in marriage. It affects emotional intimacy and will contribute to pushing your husband away. It may appear as if marriage brings out insecurity or self-doubt. Does he make you feel bad? I thought my husband had this uncanny ability to make me feel bad about myself. It seemed like... Read more
The Not So Excellent Wife
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