November 21, 2017

One night during dinner when I was 8 years old, my little brother started teasing me. I picked up a handful of spaghetti and flung it across the table at him. My face burned. My eyes stung with tears. I was close to popping him in the nose. Sure it was an irrational move, and it only made the situation worse. But I didn’t care. He’d hurt my feelings, and I wanted to hurt him back. Sometimes when my husband… Read more

November 3, 2017

Have you ever said, “Not tonight. I’m tired” when you really meant, “Not tonight. I feel fat?” Is a negative body image ruining your sex life? Studies show half of women avoid being intimate because they’re uncomfortable with the shape of their bodies. Nothing can kill the mood faster than negative body image. Sex is one of the most important aspects of marriage. But if you struggle with body shame, achieving sexual intimacy’s gonna be a problem. You’ve come to… Read more

October 27, 2017

One bad year turned into two and before I knew it, we were creeping up on five years of misery. Sure we’d had some good times, but secretly our marriage felt like an episode of Marriage Bootcamp. Hard and full of drama. Marriage was a bigger challenge than I’d ever imagined. I’d gone into it with pretty simple expectations. I’d expected he’d make me happy. When he didn’t, I got angry and bitter. I was sad. I got mean. He… Read more

September 27, 2017

I was done. Finito. Tapped out. I felt like a single parent. When my husband wasn’t traveling for work, he was at work. I was already raising the kids and doing life by myself. I felt like he was only a paycheck. It wouldn’t make much difference if he physically brought it home or sent it in the mail. I complained to a girlfriend. She asked me a question which not only shocked me and made me mad, but also… Read more

September 14, 2017

1. Choose a man who will treat you like a lady. I believe in equal work for equal pay and in treating women with respect. But I don’t believe you are equal to a man in every way. A good man will feel responsible for you. He will work hard to provide for you and to keep you happy and safe. Understand the burden he bears to be that man for you. 2. Choose a man who will make you a… Read more

September 6, 2017

What do a black lace teddy and conflict have in common? If you’re in either of them too long, they can creep into places they were never designed to go.  And, when they do, uh. . . you’ve got more trouble than a little discomfort. Let me explain. I’ve had the unpleasant experience of wearing a teddy for eight hours. I was a 22 year-old newlywed. I laughed in the face of gravity, and airport security was nothing like it… Read more

July 16, 2017

I wasn’t suicidal, but death didn’t sound so bad. What was wrong with me? Tired. Depressed. A 40 lb.-weight gain in a year. Something was going on. I requested a copy of my blood work, did some research, then asked my doctor for a referral. He wasn’t happy. “Doctors are human, too,” he sighed, avoiding eye contact. He scratched out a script for the sixth antidepressant in about four years. He had no problem giving me antidepressants. But a referral? Out… Read more

July 10, 2017

I have yet to come across a union that resembles a Facebook version. All smiles, vacations, romantic dinners, and babbling love letters. I know mine doesn’t. But, putting Facebook terminology to use in your relationship may pave the road to pleasant pillow talk. Facebook isn’t an icon of conventional marital wisdom, but using common Facebook terms in your relationship–like, friend, share, what’s on your mind or update status, comment–will not only improve communication, but may also produce surprising changes in… Read more

July 6, 2017

I rolled my eyes, bent over and snatched the terrycloth heap off the floor. His robe lay on the floor beside the bed exactly where he’d dropped it the night before. And there it would’ve stayed unless I picked it up. He’d already gone to work. “In addition to changing diapers, taking care of kids, and cooking the meals,” I thought, “he expects me to pick up after him, too? I’m his wife, not his maid.” Sound familiar? We–my husband… Read more

June 1, 2017

A few days ago, my son asked me when’s the last time I’d had a “real” job. He went on to clarify:  A job where, you know, I “worked.” Dear Son, You’ve never known a time when I haven’t worked. I returned to work the minute I came home from the hospital with you in tow. No maternity leave for me. You already had an older brother and sister at home, so I went straight to work. So, in your lifetime, I’ve… Read more

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