7 Signs That You Need Better Boundaries in Relationships

Last updated on: January 15, 2023 at 5:48 pm By Terry Gaspard

After years of helping clients with boundary issues, I began researching the topic to gain clarity and information. Many of my clients need assistance in setting clearer boundaries in relationships. They complain that they often give too much to others, feel depleted, and have trouble saying “no” to others. For example, Felicia, 44, often spends endless hours running errands for her mother, Suzanne, age 80. Even if she has work to do, or is feeling tired or overwhelmed, Felicia will... Read more

6 Things to Try Before Giving Up On Your Marriage

Last updated on: January 15, 2023 at 5:47 pm By Terry Gaspard

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We’ve long understood the pain and perils of relationships characterized by physical and emotional abuse. The toxic and often tragic consequences of abuse between couples are as wide ranging as they are reprehensible. However, there is another kind of abuse, often obscured and unseen, that wreaks havoc on relationships and leaves dissatisfaction, distress, and divorce in its wake. In a recent article for The Good Men Project, Thomas G. Fiffer explores the silent suffering of those in unhealthy and unloving... Read more

5 Secrets to a Happy Second Marriage

Last updated on: December 31, 2022 at 6:24 pm By Terry Gaspard

While many couples see remarriage as an opportunity to start fresh start and a new chance at happiness, the statistics reveal a different story with the divorce rate for second marriages being 60-67% compared to about 50% for first marriages. Why is this so? There are many reasons and most of them involve blending people from two separate worlds and adding children to the mix. Add to this financial stress, differences in childrearing and discipline, the stepparent’s role, loyalty issues,... Read more

4 Ways to Make New Year’s Resolutions That Are Foolproof

Last updated on: December 24, 2022 at 8:44 am By Terry Gaspard

It’s no surprise that most people abandon New Year’s resolutions fairly soon after making them. In fact, studies show that there are many impediments that prevent people from keeping them such as being unrealistic or making resolutions that are too much of a stretch or vague. If you find yourself recycling a goal from last year, consider crafting a new on or editing an old one. For instance, Shelly, 28, crafted the same goal every year of losing 20... Read more

4 Tips to Help Children Enjoy the Holidays During Difficult Times

Last updated on: December 18, 2022 at 4:15 pm By Terry Gaspard

One of the toughest times of year for family members following difficult times is the holiday season. For instance, for a recently separated or divorced parent, the holidays can be an emotional, stressful, and perhaps a lonely time of year. This is especially true if they don’t have new traditions and support systems in place. It’s no secret that the holidays can be highly stressful for divorced families. However, this stress is readily compounded because they may be dealing with... Read more

8 Co-Parenting Tips to Help Kids Cope During the Holidays

Last updated on: December 11, 2022 at 3:41 pm By Terry Gaspard

Maria, 46, and Joshua, 47, have been co-parenting over a year and faced many challenges last year during the holiday season. They scheduled a counseling session to discuss how they can reduce conflict and increase the chances that their three children ages eight, ten, and thirteen can have a more relaxed holiday this year. During our session, I explained to Maria and Joshua that holidays can be a challenging time for children after their parents’ divorce. Since they are recently... Read more

How Do I Overcome the Legacy of Divorce?

Last updated on: December 4, 2022 at 5:33 pm By Terry Gaspard

Do you ever wonder if you’ll get out from under the shadow of your parents’ divorce? Do you worry about repeating the patterns of the past? The challenge of creating and maintaining a healthy, long-lasting relationship is where your parents fell short. But you have an opportunity to learn from their mistakes and build the kind of relationship that eluded your parents. There are many reasons why adults raised in divorced homes get stuck in the past and have difficulty... Read more

The Secret to Being Heard by Your Partner

Last updated on: November 27, 2022 at 5:42 pm By Terry Gaspard

On of the most common complaints that I hear from couples in my office, especially women, is that their partner doesn’t listen to them. For instance, Karen, age 40, has been married to Derek, age 42, for a decade and they bicker often due to poor communication skills and defensiveness on both of their parts. Karen put it like this, “I don’t know what to do to get Derek to listen to me. We’re considering moving, and he keeps searching... Read more

5 Amazing Things Single Parents Can Do With Their Kids

Last updated on: November 19, 2022 at 4:04 pm By Terry Gaspard

While all parents have faced the challenge of raising children, many single parents have had to adapt to working from home without a spouse to share responsibilities, not having enough resources, feeling overwhelmed, and adopting new routines amidst inadequate support. For instance, Paula, 42, a single parent for three years and raising two grade school kids while working full-time, put it like this: “I get up at 5am to make breakfast and get ready for the day and feel... Read more

Can Marriage Counseling Save My Marriage?

Last updated on: November 11, 2022 at 9:22 pm By Terry Gaspard

As a marriage counselor, I’ve witnessed firsthand the benefits of my clients learning to manage conflict, developing new skills for enhancing their relationship, and restoring broken trust. This is what can happen with the support of a skilled therapist. However, not all couples have a positive outcome when they seek marriage counseling. Some couples seek help for their marriage problems too late, and others are not willing to put much effort into improving communication between sessions. For instance, Jen, 42,... Read more