6 Ways to Stop the “Blame Game” and Manage Conflicts With Your Partner

Last updated on: August 28, 2022 at 7:36 pm By Terry Gaspard

You will disagree with your partner, that’s a given. But it’s not arguing with him or her that’s the problem, it’s how your differences are managed. Love means risking occasionally getting your feelings hurt because it’s the price you pay for intimacy. Most of us dislike conflict. But while conflict may appear to be a destructive force in relationships, it can actually help us achieve lasting love. In all intimate relationships, conflicting needs for closeness and space exist. When issues come... Read more

5 Healthy, Low-Cost Ways a Single Parent Can Bond With Their Kids

Last updated on: August 18, 2022 at 4:16 pm By Terry Gaspard

While all parents have faced the challenge of raising children, many single parents have had to adapt to working from home without a spouse to share responsibilities, not having enough resources, feeling overwhelmed, and adopting new routines amidst inadequate support. For instance, Paula, 42, a single parent for three years and raising two grade school kids while working full-time, put it like this: “I get up at 5am to make breakfast and get ready for the day and feel guilty... Read more

Should I Avoid a Rebound Relationship After My Divorce?

Last updated on: August 18, 2022 at 4:16 pm By Terry Gaspard

Most experts advise against rebound relationships because newly divorced people need time to recover from their divorce and any emotional baggage that needs to be dealt with. Put simply, we need to put these ghosts and past memories in their proper place so that we can be fully available for a new partner. However, in certain cases when people go into them with realistic expectations, they can help facilitate healing and boost a person’s self-confidence. Dating a few different people... Read more

5 Ways to Stop Settling for an Unhealthy Relationship

Last updated on: August 18, 2022 at 4:17 pm By Terry Gaspard

If you find yourself attracted to a partner who is emotionally unavailable or distant, or someone who is a taker, you may be inclined to have one-sided relationships and love too much. Perhaps you grew up in a family where you were a caretaker or focused more on making others happy rather than yourself. Maybe you even felt that you had to be in a good mood regardless of your true feelings so you became a people pleaser. There are... Read more

4 Tips for Setting Up Family Meetings

Last updated on: August 18, 2022 at 4:17 pm By Terry Gaspard

As a therapist, many parents complain to me that there is too much conflict and that they’re all going in different directions. As a result, communication between members can be ineffective and tense. This is especially true when parents are trying to raise children and teenagers who participate in afterschool activities and have converging interests and needs. For instance, Alana, 46, a single mom with three children, ages ten to fifteen, wants her kids to get along better, stop bickering... Read more

Emotional Withholding is Harmful to Marriage

Last updated on: July 24, 2022 at 9:19 pm By Terry Gaspard

We’ve long understood the pain and perils of relationships characterized by physical and emotional abuse. The toxic and often tragic consequences of abuse between couples are as wide ranging as they are reprehensible. However, there is another kind of abuse, often obscured and unseen, that wreaks havoc on relationships and leaves dissatisfaction, distress, and divorce in its wake. In a recent article for The Good Men Project, Thomas G. Fiffer explores the silent suffering of those in unhealthy and... Read more

How to Let Go of Resentment and Achieve a Happy Marriage

Last updated on: July 16, 2022 at 7:53 am By Terry Gaspard

Sitting in my office, Felicia, 35, described the bitterness and resentment she has toward Erik, 37, because he invited his mother to visit for two weeks without consulting her. She has never felt close with her mother-in-law, who she feels is intrusive and gives unsolicited advice. As is the case with many mother-in-law and daughter in law relationships, Felicia feels like she has to walk on egg shells around Erik’s mother, Karen. Their relationship is very complicated and has been... Read more

How Can Parents Avoid Transmitting Anxiety Onto Their Children?

Last updated on: July 9, 2022 at 7:43 pm By Terry Gaspard

Whether you’re a new parent or have watched your kids grow into adolescence, you are no doubt sensitive to the example you set for your children. And while most parents are preoccupied with protecting their kids and presenting model, positive behaviors, many families are influenced and impacted by the less perceptible part of our nature. During a recent counseling session, Sydney shared how having an Anxiety Disorder has been a challenge to her as a first-time parent. In counseling sessions,... Read more

3 Steps to Improve Your Listening Skills with Your Partner

Last updated on: July 3, 2022 at 7:27 pm By Terry Gaspard

During a couples counseling session, Becca, 36, and David, 38, discuss their ongoing problem with communication and how they argue about how to discipline their two young children. David reflects: “I love Becca and she’s a great mom but she is too easy going with our kids. She gives in a lot when they want to read an extra book at night, for example, which makes their bedtime too late. She says I don’t understand the value of reading but... Read more

How to Deal Effectively with Financial Issues in Marriage

Last updated on: June 26, 2022 at 6:11 pm By Terry Gaspard

During a recent counseling session, Karen and Joshua, in their late thirties, spoke about their finances, and explained how their debt was causing stress in their relationship. Since they are both self-employed and were paid sporadically, it was easy for debt to build up and most of their discussions about money turned into arguments over the past few years. Married for over a decade and raising two children, they had drifted apart and the last thing they wanted to talk... Read more