Full Time Spiritual Life

Spending two weeks with almost nothing outside of spiritual pursuits was very eye-opening.

Yes, I did do some shopping. I still fell victim to my material desires. But for most of the time we were living in spartan ashram quarters and there was nothing to do besides meditate, pray, and read spiritual literature. I even experienced a complete break from food desire. I had a very small appetite and I ate only to sustain the body with no attachments or desires surrounding food. 

By the end of the trip when we were staying at the Ramanashram in Tirivalmali I was amazed at the speed of spiritual development that can occur when you eliminate the distractions of regular life in maya.

On the other hand I was also a little terrified.

I could really see why people would come here to the ashram to stay for a significant period of time. Devoting yourself to knowing The Self is the most worthy pursuit one could have in life, I think. During my brief time there and at Sringeri I felt my spirit on some kind of speeding bullet train. I was making huge strides in cutting back on needless thought, on staying present, on focusing on what’s important, on communing with God, on improving my ability to meditate. HUGE strides. 

Though I brought a little hand held video game with me, I couldn’t play it. It felt weird. It felt really out of place and jarring in an unpleasant way. 

It seemed to me like a little peek into the world of being a monk or nun. 

Though I’ve always romantizised the idea of becoming a nun and dedicating my life full time to God and spiritual work, I have too much selfishness and material desire in me. This time I could really see that I don’t have the stamina to dedicate myself to that life full time forever. I still want to have my fun video game time (not to mention my husband!)

Also, the fast track bullet train was scary. I was being stripped of all my illusions and it’s a painful and frightening process. 

As much as I wish I had it in me to dedicate myself at the feet of my guru for the rest of my life, it was clear to me that I am not ready for that. There is some growth for me to do here as a householder and a role for me to play in the drama. 

But places like Ramanasram and Sringeri allow me to get a taste of the spiritual lifestyle that I aspire to in small doses!