In Honor of My Mother-in-Law (1926 – 2016): Three Reasons They Had 65 Wonderful Years of Marriage

My sweet mother-in-law went to be with Jesus last night. We are grieving, but we are also so grateful for how Roberta Feldhahn graced this earth for 90 years. We are also praying for Jeff’s sweet dad, who is so missing his bride of 65 years. In honor of Jeff’s mom and dad, and in [Read More…]

Secret #5 to a Highly Happy Marriage: Boss Your Feelings

Marriages aren’t made or broken through dramatic gestures. It’s the small, everyday actions and choices that determine success and happiness. Learn more about what the happiest couples do in The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages. In Secret #5 to a highly happy marriage, author Shaunti Feldhahn explains how happy couples talk themselves out of [Read More…]

3 Crucial Facts You Really Need To Know About A Man’s Brain

The funniest movie moment I saw last summer comes at the very end of Inside Out, as the main preteen girl character talks to a preteen boy at a hockey rink. We’ve been seeing inside her head the whole movie, but instantly the camera zooms out of her brain and into his…. where his mental control room [Read More…]

Why not take the test drive? – Part 2 (More on cohabitation, getting engaged, and getting committed)

Last week, I posted an article, “Why not take the test drive? The case against cohabitation,” on the unseen dangers of cohabitation before marriage. (As a recap: research shows that couples who live together without being engaged have a greater chance of divorce if they do get married; cohabitation increases the chances of ignoring red flags [Read More…]

Why not take the test drive? The case against cohabitation

I’m a pastor who works with young couples.  As you know, most people live together before they get married and I can’t figure out how to talk to them about it.  I know from scripture that it’s a bad idea, but couples always ask “But why?”  To them, it just seems logical to try out a live-in relationship before committing to it for life.  The classic argument is, “If you wouldn’t buy a car without test-driving it, why on earth would you not test-drive a marriage – which is far more important?”  I know from experience with counseling many couples that it is a bad idea, but I need more than just my experience.  I’m a bit of a policy wonk, but I simply don’t have time to sift through the information out there to figure out what’s real and helpful. Is there any solid research on this? [Read more…]

Secret #4 to a Highly Happy Marriage: Keep Score

Marriages aren’t made or broken through dramatic gestures. It’s the small, everyday actions and choices that determine success and happiness. Learn more about what the happiest couples do in The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages. Most of us just naturally remember the ‘wrongs’ against us, but highly happy couples intentionally focus more on the [Read More…]

Women: Three phrases to never say to your husband

Ladies, if there were a reality TV show like “What NOT to Wear,” but for relationships, these three things would be at the top of the list for “What NOT to say to your man.” Now, don’t get me wrong; I’ve actually said all these things at one point! You’ve probably said them, too. And you probably also saw the same thing I did: it never works out so well. Why? In research with thousands of men I learned these hurt far more than your man (or your son!) will ever let on. So let’s agree to put these on our no-no list. [Read more…]


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