How I Got Over My Very Public Mistakes

Last week, I was amazed at all the people who read my posts and left comments. (This post about expecting a call from the President got almost 2,800 comments and was shared 131,000 times on this site alone… And, no, my phone didn’t ring.)

Most of the comments were wonderful and supportive. (I’ve addressed some of the not-so-nice comments here.)  But there’s one constant criticism I didn’t talk about:  some of you insist on calling me a hypocrite. After all, I became a mother before I walked down the aisle – how can I talk about waiting until marriage for sex?

I find it strange that the culture rightfully applauds former drug addicts who warn children of the dangers of drug use. They are happy to listen to former alcoholics talk about how they finally are living a clean life. But when it comes to me talking about waiting until marriage for sex, it’s almost like people want me to slink away in shame… unable to show my face in public again because of my past mistakes.

I want this blog to be a place where we can all be honest, so let me start. I’ve struggled with feelings of guilt and shame. I know (judging from my inbox) many of you have too. A Christian counselor named Ed Welch helpfully writes about what to do after you’ve made a huge mistake:

It feels so right – so spiritual – to live with regrets. It means you feel bad for the wrong things you have done or think you have done, and that sounds like a good thing. If you forget those wrongs, you are acting like they were no big deal.


We live with regrets because we think we should. We think it’s the right thing to do—that it is our duty before God. But…
The Kingdom of Heaven is regret-free. The truth is that the triune God liberates us from past regrets. His will is being done. Bank on it. Neither your human limitations nor your sins hinder the good plans of your sovereign Father.
Let’s go one important step further. It is God’s will that you jettison past regrets.

So what does that mean?

Stop.

Stop living under a cloud of guilt, stop wondering what life could have been like had you made better decisions, and stop beating yourself up over that thing you’ve done.

Read the rest of his post here, and get over the regret you’ve been carrying for far too long.

I have.

 

  • Samantha

    This is My own personal belief… You shouldn’t regret a damn thing. People will find something to hate about you whether it’s your hypocrisy or your hair. (just so wer’e clear I don’t think it is hypocritical) I too am a teen mom take it I don’t advertise it to the world I am proud of my decision to keep my baby and be a single mother. I am the daughter of a well known family in my small to and the news spread like wild fire. My father told me not to be ashamed. I was the first and I won’t be the last. My child is a blessing not a mistake. In time he will realize my mistakes and I hope to be an example for him! Like you seem to be wih Tripp. Also, all children learn a cuss word one way or another so don’t think it’s uncommon. Just be glad you are the type of parent that frowns upon it and doesnt encourage it!!!

    -Samantha

  • Abby

    Bristol, I just wanted to thank you so much for your bravery and for your willingness to help other young girls! I’m 21 years old and I just found out a month ago that I am 9 weeks pregnant. I am a Christian and I was raised in a Christian home so I understand first hand the guilt and shame . I’ve already asked God for forgiveness so now I’m pretty much trying to forgive myself. I also am learning that unless I let go of that guilt and shame the Lord cannot heal me. This post is so incredible and has really brought a new light to my situation! Thank you for sharing ! I would love to talk to you and seek advice from you maybe through email or Facebook (if that’s even possible) haha my email address is aeh13@hotmail.com. Hope to hear from you soon! :)

  • i

    No, you shouldn’t regret your decisions… but, always remember who you are as a person. You tend to talk as if you’re better than most people who don’t go along with traditional value. It’s another thing to tell people about your traditional values and what you believe it right, but it’s another to talk down on people who don’t believe in them. And, you’re in no place to do that, esp. seeing your decision to have a baby out of wedlock. So, go on, inform people about traditional values, but don’t go on stomping on them, when you’re no different!

  • RogueStatus726

    Preach

  • nichelle

    why would you even read her blog if you think she is a lair?

  • http://gawker.com/5691856/willow-palins-homophobic-facebook-freakout notafan

    OMG!

  • Sue

    Why are you here? Do you not have anything better to do than worry about what the Palin’s do or don’t do? You don’t like them- we get it- we don’t care what you like. How about you move on and find a life of your own.

  • http://gawker.com/5691856/willow-palins-homophobic-facebook-freakout notafan

    i’ve been saying this all along… this is not bristol writing this blog…

  • Leona

    @ notafan, it must be hard seeing a young woman doing a lot better being a young mother so if there is a feeling of envy just say it….it is okay we understand.

  • Pam H.

    Gjoy, why are you even reading the blog of someone you obviously dislike? And please answer Tina’s questions.

  • Andy Sandoval

    You are soooo right, Bristol! Unwarranted guilt is such a KILLER to so many good people. Jesus took our sins and NAILED them to the cross if we confess them. And He wants us to live in JOY and be productive with our lives, because of that. Look how many people you’ve touched!! You are such an inspiration to us all.
    God bless you and little Tripp in this Easter season!

  • June Trieb

    Amen. An awful lot of claims going on here by gjoy and frankly–they smack of judgment and hypocricy.

  • Joni O’Vandie

    1.I hope so! Like most public figures, celebrities, and independently successful people, I’m sure Bristol Palin has STAFF. When you’ve made it too you’ll understand.
    2.If a young girl’ actions and choices create such long term bitterness and concern for you perhaps you should seek out a mental health expert. Her son will be a young man in no time and you are stuck with your own anger and self hatred. You obviously had choices to make too. The anger in your message reveals your own turmoil. You deserve happiness too-seek it.

  • Margaret

    Tina, why are you worried about it? Do you think your comment will stop anyone from reading the blog…cause it won’t. In fact, the more that people see comments like yours, the more they will want to hear from Bristol-no matter who is typing it. Do you think Barack Obama writes his own stuff? How about, hmmm..Kim Kardashian? Bristol is a single mom and 21-years-old! She has a life. So what if she uses a ghost writer?
    As for her sex life…again, so? She is an adult now, not a teenager. HUGE difference. That has nothing to do with her work to help teens to wait.
    Maybe you should get a hobby or something? There’s enough Palin haters out there.

  • June Trieb

    Wow, gjoy. Sounds like you need to drink a long tall glass of “humble tea”. My, my, my. Do you ever sin? Have you ever slipped up, even after professing your faith? Do you have an even an iota of the sense that Believers (true ones) should support each other, in this walk of faith? Shame on you for your accusations, and for your divisiness.

  • Andy Sandoval

    Gjoy, Jesus died and raised in New Life. Wouldn’t you like to give your bitterness to Jesus and let Him into your heart? Its almost Easter!!! What a beautiful time for you to do this.

  • http://AmericaWantsSarah Bruce O’H.

    Begone Hyena !!!!

  • Julian

    Gjoy is actually a 36 year old unemployed man,living in Mom’s basement, using the laptop she bought him with the money from her second job; although she works 18 hours a day, she lets her little boy stay on the couch in the basement because wherever he applies for work, they ‘don’t understand his specialness’ and his need for a six-figure income and access to a free ‘escort service’ on company time. So, having nothing to do until his Mom gets home to fix his meals and clean up his basement and do his laundry, he simply writes hate notes to send to any Christians who post on blogs.
    I assure you, my observations are as accurate, and based on the same psychic knowledge, that his are.

  • http://gawker.com/5691856/willow-palins-homophobic-facebook-freakout notafan

    @Leona ya that its im sooooo jealous you got me there…

  • http://gawker.com/5691856/willow-palins-homophobic-facebook-freakout notafan

    Julian is actually a 36 year old unemployed man,living in Mom’s basement, using the laptop she bought him with the money from her second job; although she works 18 hours a day, she lets her little boy stay on the couch in the basement because wherever he applies for work, they ‘don’t understand his specialness’ and his need for a six-figure income and access to a free ‘escort service’ on company time. So, having nothing to do until his Mom gets home to fix his meals and clean up his basement and do his laundry, he simply writes hate notes to send to any Christians who post on blogs.
    I assure you, my observations are as accurate, and based on the same psychic knowledge, that his are.


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X