Put a Ring on It

Have you ever heard of “shacking up?”  Now, people describe living together with a more complimentary phrase: “a trial marriage.” And apparently, it’s all the rage:

Cohabitation in the United States has increased by more than 1,500 percent in the past half century. In 1960, about 450,000 unmarried couples lived together. Now the number is more than 7.5 million. The majority of young adults in their 20s will live with a romantic partner at least once, and more than half of all marriages will be preceded by cohabitation. This shift has been attributed to the sexual revolution and the availability of birth control, and in our current economy, sharing the bills makes cohabiting appealing.

In fact, you may have even recently heard rumors I’m living with my boyfriend.  As that gossip spread a couple of weeks ago, people all over America were applauding me for –finally! – coming to my senses and abandoning my no-sex-until-marriage policy.  Others are saying that me shacking up with my boyfriend is the height of hypocrisy.

Here’s the thing.  It’s not true. As I mentioned before, I recently bought a home across the lake from my parents’ house.  While it’s under renovation, I’m actually living in an apartment on their property.  Rest assured — there’s no way on earth my mom and dad would allow a guy to spend the night here with me.

But even if I weren’t temporarily living on their property, I wouldn’t move in with someone.  Why?  Well, new evidence reported in the New York Times suggests what the Bible has already told us: living together before marriage does not lead to happiness:

Couples who cohabit before marriage (and especially before an engagement or an otherwise clear commitment) tend to be less satisfied with their marriages — and more likely to divorce — than couples who do not. These negative outcomes are called the cohabitation effect.

Researchers originally attributed the cohabitation effect to selection, or the idea that cohabitors were less conventional about marriage and thus more open to divorce. As cohabitation has become a norm, however, studies have shown that the effect is not entirely explained by individual characteristics like religion, education or politics. Research suggests that at least some of the risks may lie in cohabitation itself.

These so-called “trial marriages” hurt men, women, and children.  So, all of you girls who’ve said yes to sex in the wrong context know this: you don’t have to say yes to living with someone in the wrong context too.

I guess it’s unanimous.  Because now we have the Bible, the New York Times, and even Beyonce suggesting the best way to secure relationship success is to… “put a ring on it.”

 

Leave a comment below to receive weekly updates, including the best of this blog. You may also enjoy:

A Few Thoughts about Rick Santorum’s Concession
How I Got Over My Very Public Mistakes
Mr. President, When Should I Expect Your Call?

 

 


 

Praying, Tripp Palin Style
The Christian Origin of the Guinness Beer Company
Jesus Loves Trig, This I Know
What’s Up with the New York Times’ Ethicist Using the R-Word as an Insult?
  • Cheryl Brooks

    Right on Bristol. Glad to hear you and the baby are doing so well. Guess he isn’t a baby any more. I will always keep up with the family whether I’m in Alaska or not. Take care. Be safe.

  • Cathy Jones

    So glad to have this clarified. I was really concerned for you and those young people who follow you. God bless you, Bristol.

  • Tiffany Field

    Thank you for letting everyone know the truth. People tend to want to cause harm to your reputation and its very brave of you to set it straight even in your personal life. That is why my little girl is named after your family except we spell it Paelyn.
    Enjoy your life, Live it to the fullest!!

  • http://rtdsmartin.us Tammy Martin

    Thank you Bristol. I so appreciate your post on living together! May God continue to bless you and your family!

  • http://www.redgreenlellow.com Tara McMillan

    well said Bristol, I applaud you for facing those that aren’t telling the truth. A reader in Virginia, and very much a Sarah Palin fan.

  • Angie Wilson

    Hey B,
    My ex-mother law has been saying that for years. And she’s right. The further I go in my walk with Christ, the more I learn and understand the bible, the more I realize the truths of these simple instructions our Lord gave us. I made my mistakes in the past, but I’m living for him now…and he’s showing me how.

    P.s. I’m reading your book…good stuff lady!

    xoxo

  • Glenn

    “These so-called “trial marriages” hurt mean, women, and children. So, all of you girls who’ve said yes to sex in the wrong context to know this: you don’t have to say yes to living with someone in the wrong context too.”

    What does trial marriage do to the nice women and children??

    ;)

  • Ronda

    Preach it girl, I am sharing this with my daughter. We were just talking about “Living Together” and of course I brought up what God says about living together..I truly believe that more and more we need to talk about this topic. It is not Ok! It is not cool! God does not agree with it!

  • http://EileenS Eileen Steller

    I applaud your decision and your boldness to set the record straight. Sadly, the media will destort the truth or put their own spin on things unless someone takes a stand and says no more to those rascals. We can never go wrong following Gods plan for our lives. Keep pressing on toward the mark.

  • http://lerheims.wordpress.com Bridget @ Le. Rheims

    We’ve known this for years actually. It’s only the NY Times (late as usual) who is just now reporting on it. People who think they can try out marriage and all of its benefits with none of the detriments and also none of the protection that comes from a legal and spiritual marriage are, simply put, kidding themselves. Real married life doesn’t start until after a real marriage. Anything before that is just “playing house”, and when the real work of married life begins, people who were in it for anything other than true, unclouded love head for the hills.

    • myj

      So true, Bridget,

  • bellagrazi

    So, is Gino going to “Put a Ring on It”, Bristol? : )

  • Abby

    I just wanted to say thank you for sharing this! My best friend and I were having this same discussion last week.

  • Diane Warner

    Do you still have your house in Arizona?

  • http://aconservativeknitteretc.blogspot.com/ Ali Garrett

    Its Amazing how you are staying true to what You say & believe. Thats what Teen Girls & Young Women need someone to say No things aren’t really so different it’s self respect

  • Diane Kristy

    (second to last paragraph – change ‘mean’ to ‘men’ – you don’t mean ‘mean men’, right? lol)

  • Cathie

    I sure do admire you, Bristol! You are wise beyond your years!

  • Andy Sandoval

    Great blog, Bristol! What a great example you are for everyone! Keep blogging!
    SHOCKING! The Bible was right, again!

  • itallmatters

    Yeah! Bristol – co-habitating is the rage – but just because everyone else is supposedly DOING IT – don’t make it right – as your mother would say. Stick to your principles and there will be someone come along that also shares those values and treasures your life and LOVE YOU FOREVER along with your precious son!

  • Ariel Hector

    First off, just because two people are married, doesn’t mean their happy. Another thing, wouldn’t you want to live with someone for a few months before you intend on marrying them? No one says you have to have sex. There is such a thing as self-control while you’re living with someone, so if you want to wait to have sex until you’re married, you can still do so. I honestly think it’s ridiculous that we live in a world where if a man and woman are living together we automatically assume they are also having sex with each other, because that’s not always the case. To sum it up, “putting a ring on it” doesn’t always equal happiness. Having a partner that will treat you with the dignity and respect you deserve does.

  • Jane

    GREAT JOB, Bristol!! My husband and I lived together for about 3 years before we were married. It was NOT healthy on our relationship for so many reasons. It developed a heart issue within me that felt, “If you don’t love and respect me enough to commit to me for the rest of our lives, then you don’t completely love and respect me.” I heard a counselor remark once that when you live with someone outside of marriage you are proving to one another that you are capable of cheating. It took awhile to let that sink in, but it is true. Our society is so shallow that many not only fear commitment but fear failure and pain/hurt. Whether you are married or not married, there will be pain/hurt in the relationship. Marriage takes commitment, dedication, and very hard work. When you’re discouraged and want to give up, when you really don’t “like” that person, you have a commitment to the relationship. That is what makes marriage work. And that is the missing element in shack up relationships; no commitment = no security = no safety = failure.

    • blackbird

      Thanks for your post Jane.

      “…when you live with someone outside of marriage you are proving to one another that you are capable of cheating…” ~ I never thought about it that way.

  • Joseph

    I sure am proud of you, Bristol!!! You rock! :)

  • Ashley

    It’s amazing how the Bible had it right all those years ago but the New York Times has to publish it for people to believe it…

    Preach on, sister, and keep the faith.

  • http://www.lovefestoslc.com Alison Sweey

    Totally agree. I’ve been with my husband now for 18 years. I know if I did the trial marriage route, I honestly don’t think we still would be together. With a commitment made in front of my family and God I said that through all things we would be together. And we’ve been through all things… And I love him more now then the day we married. What a gift he’s been. We are far from perfect but through our marriage and christian faith we can do all things through Him who gives us faith. Thank you, Bristol, for staring the not trendy answer of putting a ring on it. You made such a positive impact with all at LoveFest a couple of years back… And you keep providing a strong message to many. God bless you. Wishing you all the best! Say hey to Piper!

  • Courtney

    This is disgusting. Who says you have to have sex just because you live with your “significant other” to start with? Some people do have self-control.
    I moved in with my boyfriend a few years ago. Why? Because if we wanted to take our relationship any more seriously, it was the only choice. Your relationship can only progress so far in a long distance situation. He’s in the military and stationed in another state (previously stationed in another COUNTRY). Could I have moved to the state he was in, into my own place? SURE!…if I hit the lotto. Would it have been better if I stayed 1,200 miles away from him and just jumped into a marriage? If you think THAT is the better thing to do, I’ll keep it simple: you’re stupid. Let’s be honest, rushing into marriage is the problem. Not fully knowing who you chose to marry IS the problem. The military(in particular) is riddled with couples and divorces stemming from that. They don’t want to “shack up,” they want the extra pay and benefits, so they skip the whole, “are we right for each other” part and just get married.
    We’re engaged now, still “living in sin,” and happy as ever. I finally feel (over a year after engagement) we’re both at a point where we can start planning our wedding and we’re aiming for sometime next year (if he doesn’t get deployed again during that time frame).
    I don’t think lightly of divorce just because I chose to “shack up.” Living with my fiancee, learning how he works day in a day out, good and bad, REAL LIFE, is me taking a step to help AVOID divorce. My mom’s side of the family are strict Christians (I am Christian and God gave me my own mind to think for myself with) and it was an adjustment for them to understand why I was moving in with him. But now they’re proud of me! They understand I’m doing all I can to make sure our relationship is what we had hoped it is and to make sure we live out “til death do us part.”

    • Karen Bowan

      I am sorry, but I disagree with you. That is the problem too many people profess to be Christian and then live like there is no God. If you are a “born again” Christian, trying to live a Christian life and living according to what God says in the Bible, you would know better and you would feel ashamed at what you are doing. The bible says: But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality or of any kind of impurity or of greed because these are improper for God’s Holy people. Ephesians 5:3 Read Ephesians and Colossians and truly see what God says about shaking up!
      God wants us to follow his blueprint for our lives..life is so much better when we do!

    • Millie

      Courtney,

      I guess I did it the old fashion way,, but don’t regret it a bit. I dated my present husband over
      fifty years ago without living with him or having sex. But of course back then more couples
      did that sort of thing. I feel you can learn all you need to know about the other person in a dating
      relationship. There are young couples today that are doing the same thing and they are building
      on their relationship without a trial marriage situation.

      I would not take anything for waiting until my wedding night to have sex. I feel that when this
      occurs before marriage then it takes away something very special. Marriage is one of the most
      sacred thing with God.

    • bellagrazi

      Courtney, Bristol was very respectful in her post on this subject. Too bad you didn’t feel the need to show her the same respect. Your anger was a bit over-the-top. No need to be so defensive. Others got their point across without verbally attacking Bristol. It’s unfortunate you chose to be so antagonistic.

  • JB Webster

    I’m a gand ma with teenage grandchildren & I hope they turn out as well as you. Bristol you have such a good head on your shoulders. You have a beautiful boy and you are a good role model. Keep up the good work God Bless! (hope you’re keeping up with your dancing you had my vote every week)

  • Georgia

    Good for you, Bristol Never change and be who you are!

  • http://www.biglittledays.com Jaime

    Yes! So true! There is a fabluous book that I have been recommending left and right called “Before You Live Together” (http://www.beforeyoulivetogether.com/) –I bought it at a Christian bookstore, so you know what the point will be ;) But, amazingly, only the first third of the book is about the pros and cons of living together. The rest of the book is about how to know if the guy/gal you’re with is marriage material without the mini-marriage, as I call it. My favorite part boils down to this: if you have friendship-love, passionate-love, and sacrificial-love all in that one person, what are you waiting for? Get married. It’s kind of radical and reckless in today’s “be certain he’s THE ONE” culture, and that’s what I love about it. Anyhow, enjoying your blogs. You are not fighting alone. You’re just doing it with a bigger audience.

  • Esther Ruth

    Amen! Great post:)

  • Kameron Swithin

    So proud of you, Bristol!! I agree 100%!!! Don’t let anyone ever change you! :)
    Just ignore Courtney’s ignorant comment. You are not stupid. You are one of the brightest women I know: spiritually, emotionally and mentally. And, Courtney, this is coming from a 29 year-old corporate transactional lawyer who works for the largest law firm in the world. So, don’t even think about saying I’m stupid for agreeing with Bristol’s post. I truly feel sorry for people who have nothing better to do but call other people stupid.

    • bellagrazi

      Amen, Kameron!

  • Justine Fox

    Way to go girl! I go around in high schools and youth groups teaching on the subject of purity and cohabitation. I get attacked as I’m sure you do because you stand up for what is right! Jesus light shines through you!!:) Praying for you!!:)

  • http://100%Sarah'sYouBetchaNationonFB John Norton

    Used to be if you Respected someone U wanted to spend the rest of your life with,and if U Honored them U would Ask for their Hand before taking the next step.No Committment,its to easy to walk out ,used to be it wasnt so easy to walk out…

  • http://us4palin.com Ron Devito

    I get that the National Enquirer is a gossip rag (that’s where this “story” originated), but the whole “Palin insider” thing is really getting old. Anytime I see the unnamed “Palin insider” as a source, I already know the story is not true. Did anyone covering this little tidbit bother to contact that actual principals allegedly involved – those being you, Gino, and your mom? Of course not. Instead, they bring out the unnamed “Palin insider.” When legitimate press outfits resort to the “Palin insider,” it’s really irksome.

    To the substance of your post….cohabitation is definitely risky; and for young couples of child-bearing age – a horrible idea. As the old saying goes, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. What typically happens, is that the couple has a child and the father runs off, leaving a single mom holding the bag, or you have families consisting of multiple step-fathers and step-mothers. None of these couples started off intending these outcomes, but their actions led to them.
    I’ve been married now a little over 15 years. I did “shack up” for two weeks prior to my wedding ceremony. A co-worker of mine has been doing it for 15 years now – for tax purposes. Both she and her boyfriend are both high income and would be subject to the “marriage penalty.” Like me, they also don’t have children; they’re in their early 50s, so they made the decision as mature adults. For them, it worked out. I would consider them the exception.
    My wife has a niece who lived in such a relationship. The niece has two teenage children. After nearly 20 years, the boyfriend left her for another woman. Even though the children are on the cusp of adulthood themselves, losing their father in that manner was a traumatic experience and the niece lost someone who was her partner for nearly 20 years. That hurts. And that seems to be the more typical result with cohabitation.
    As human beings, we need to exercise self-control and common sense with our sexual behavior and who we choose as partners, just as we have to with anything else we do.

  • Mrs. Karen Bowman

    Keep up the good work and being a positive role model. You made a wrong choice…but you have turned your life around and you are speaking out and letting other young people know what God truly wants for them. Take care and keep serving the Lord in all you do.

  • speppers69

    I’m happy to hear that these ridiculous rumors are only that…rumors! And I am also glad to hear that you are making a nice home for yourself and Tripp. Having your own home is a BIG responsibility and it’s great that you are taking that on. Home ownership is part of the American Dream and it’s wonderful to see your achievments. It’s an AWESOME feeling to go to sleep the first night in your own home knowing that it IS your own home. Of course, home is where your family is. But when that home is truly yours….it is oh soooo much sweeter! Congratulations!

    And a VERY special Happy Birthday to your little brother, Trig!!!

  • Dave M

    Bristol, I applaud your stand and I admire the wisdom you have acquired. I wish my kids had sense enough to listen to good advice. My Daughter is 18 and is planning to ‘play house’ with her boyfriend as soon as they find a place. Her Mom and I have talked ourselves blue in the face trying to get her to understand that this is a bad idea (we also talked long and hard about abstanince–to no avail). Her reply is that she wants to ‘make her own mistakes’. I told her if you know it’s a mistake, why make it?
    Any ideas on how to get thru to her?

  • http://www.ak365.blogspot.com LisaJ

    20 yrs ago my husband and I did things a bit backward…..we met while serving in the military together, moved in together, a yr or so after that we got pregnant and then we married a month after our son was born. We celebrated 18 yrs of marriage in February. Now that my kids are older (18, 16 and 13) we spend a lot of time talking about relationhips and paths that you should take. Living together first worked for me and my husband but its not something I would necessarily want to see with my own children.

  • Shawn

    I wish u were my girlfriend Bristol..

  • Mericia

    So what you’re saying is marriage is the solution? Um, no. Yeah, go ahead and jump the gun on that one too!

    • bellagrazi

      Mericia, why would it be jumping the gun if you’ve found the right person?

  • http://www.mikes-show-n-shine.com Michael Sipe

    Bristol, you are a true inspiration. My youngest daughter unfortunately got a divorce after 5 years. She found a great partner, dated for quite a while, got engaged, got married and then moved into his home. They built a new home, both work hard, and have great success. At 36, she was crushed with the breast cancer scare. Went through a double mastectomy, and her husband has been just wonderful. Full reconstruction, and now, a year later, is writing a book about her experience. What a trooper. I am sure her book will be a great comfort to many young ladies who find themselves facing similar experiences. Just like you, Bristol, she took lemons and made lemonade. When she publishes, I will let you know!! Her blog is http://www.tuffphit.com

  • CJ

    Bristol, once again, BRAVO, BRAVO!!! A Fabulous blog and a very important topic! I guess I can also say, that not only do I agree with you completely, the article you reference is BRILLIANT! The world is upside down and it is spiraling out of control. I believe this has happened b/c way too many ppl reject GOD’s ORDER, in favor of their own. Throughout history, whenever rebellion has had a stronghold, chaos,misery and grief are the results. GOD teaches us how to navigate through this life. How many actually obey? I sure didn’t. I cohabited before marriage and was deceived into believing that a “trial run” would serve as a barometer of marital compatibility……..This couldn’t have been further from the truth. Four yrs and one child later, the love of my life and childhood sweetheart,
    opted for less responsibility and greener pastures w/ a teenager. Prior to our marriage, we dated for 11 yrs and lived together for 1.5 yrs! He loved living together. It served his fear of “legal” commitment, but, I saw it as the prelude to a life long bond of love, fidelity and companionship.
    When all was said and done, I vowed to do things GOD’S WAY from then on :)

  • bellagrazi

    Bristol, Happy Birthday to your beautiful little brother, Trig! He is God’s most precious gift.

  • Jan

    Glad you set the record straight. It’s tougher for the lame stream media to get away with lying about you now that you are speaking out on this fantastic blog.

  • Joanne Mayo

    Looking back on it all, as one who engaged in premarital sex, cohabitation, had an abortion, and eventually married the partner who went through all this with me, life had its ups and downs, but has generally been very good. On one hand not doing it God’s way was not the best way, and the regrets will always be there; yet on the other hand God’s grace and forgiveness gave us total faith in each other and 2 great sons, now grown, and now we have grandchildren. Being unequally yoked does bring hindrances in the spiritual realm, true, but it is best to stay humble and own up to one’s personal mistakes, just don’t dwell on it. If a partner is an unbeliever, there is a perfect model In 1Peter 3:1-6, which I have made a cornerstone in the course of my married life. And the guilt–well, no use sweating the ‘what ifs’ and ‘if onlys’—God’s got it covered. Life is a precious commodity, we live it for Him.

  • Lynda Armstrong

    test

    • Lynda Armstrong

      Sorry did the word test because it did not seen my comment was working

      God Bless Trig …

  • Millie

    Bristol,

    I never believed the media on this. After getting to know you throughout Dancing with the Stars I
    knew this story was not true. As been said before, you are very wise for your age! You are a
    wonderful mom to Tripp. You are also a wonderful friend to Mark. Your strong faith will see you
    through whatever the media throws your way. We are behind you all the way.

    Wishing your brother Trig a wonderful Birthday. He is so precious.

  • j

    Sounds pretty ridiculous. I have lived 10 years this way and will only get married when its the right time not because society feels its appropriate. Its unfortunate that people believe there is only one way to happiness and God, that is why many of us fall behind because we can never measure up. Thank you Bristol Palin for again showing why you and your mother have no clue.

    • http://notgoodnewsfinder.com genomega1

      Thats fine as long as we the taxpayers are not paying for your choices.

    • Raffaela V. DiBella

      There’s a fool born every minute……and “J” you pretty much seem to fill that bill! Bristol is right. It’s people who turn their back on morality that are bringing this country down! No GOD, No Bible, No Morals……what a depraved way to live!

    • otlset

      “j” can’t measure up, so “j” comes here to mock those who aspire to. What a smug loser.

    • Millie

      J.
      Unfortunately you are the clueless one. Marriage is a very sacred thing in God’s sight. Choosing
      to live without a comment before God in saying the marriage vows is a sin. There are no two ways
      about this.

      • Millie

        oops, correction in spelling, commitment.

    • bellagrazi

      Why do people feel the need to attack Bristol on this? j is a perfect example. If you are so solid in your beliefs, you wouldn’t need to use ad hominem attacks to get your point across. You’re the one with no clue, j. No clue in how to communicate without showing your bias towards the Palin’s.

  • Kim A

    Bristol,

    Totally agree and kudos to you, and your mom and dad! Those are the rules for my young adult daughters!! Blessing to you!

  • http://www.julimize.com Juli

    Fabulous! I so appreciate your voice!

  • Izzy

    Way to Bristol…. So proud of you. Thanks for your courage and authenticity. We love you and your wonderful family.

  • Whitney

    Bristol – I’m with you on this one. I didn’t live with my now husband of 8 years until we were engaged because I believed that I needed that commitment. My feeling is that couples that live together without even considering marriage feel like marriage is just the “next thing to do” because it’s easier.

    P.S. I have loved to watch you grow and come into your own! You are a great mother, daughter, sister! And, your mom rocks too!

  • Jose

    God Bless Trigg!
    I don´t pay attention what the media say about you. I believe what you tell us

  • Thomas

    Yay!

  • David Dempsey

    Good post, Bristol. Good idea to ‘ put a ring on it’.

  • Michelle W.

    Hi Bristol,
    As a 46 year old married woman with two grown sons, I can say from personal experience (I lived with my first husband before marriage), that these findings ring true for me. As a follower of Jesus, I know it, because He has laid out what is best for us in His living Word.
    I applaud you for taking a stand for Truth.
    Sincerely,
    Michelle
    Colorado

  • Emelyne Roth

    This is an excellent note! I totally commend you, Bristol! Finally, a young person unfraid to take a stand for Biblical standards. You are such a blessing to our nation! All of my friends and coworkers look down at me for not adopting their immoral lifestyle, but I don’t believe in compromising my beliefs. I was raised on the sanctity of marriage as an institution from God. This note will encourage more young people to hold true to their upbrining!

    • Emelyne Roth

      Ooops I meant “upbringing”, sorry!

  • Rachel

    Maybe you should have read the NY Times article a little more closely, Bristol. Cohabitation in and of itself does not lead to higher divorce rates – lack of comittment and “sliding into cohabitation” does.

    “The unfavorable connection between cohabitation and divorce does seem to be lessening, however, according to a report released last month by the Department of Health and Human Services. More good news is that a 2010 survey by the Pew Research Center found that nearly two-thirds of Americans saw cohabitation as a step toward marriage.

    This shared and serious view of cohabitation may go a long way toward further attenuating the cohabitation effect because the most recent research suggests that serial cohabitators, couples with differing levels of commitment and those who use cohabitation as a test are most at risk for poor relationship quality and eventual relationship dissolution.”

  • Robin

    Keep standing up for yourself Bristol God knows your heart.

  • Jesus Martinez

    Well thats a hint if i’ve ever heard one! We all know Gino has had the ring since before christmas… now all he needs to do is get his tail out from between his legs and put it on that pretty little finger of yours!

  • JB

    Bristol…who cares what the NYT says…I am stunned you read that liberals rag. Your mom didn’t read it and neither should you!

  • pagansister

    Well, as one who had a child as a single teen, agreeing not to live with your boyfriend before marriage is interesting. I’m old enough to be your great grandmother, so I don’t think you committed any sin getting pregnant minus the wedding ring. However living as long as I have, and having known several folks who “shacked up” before they were married and who are still married 40 plus years later,I find the article one to take with a huge grain of salt. Personally I think it depends on the couple and their commitment to each other whether they divorce or not and has nothing to do with whether they lived together before they married or not.

  • http://www.breakpoint.org Gina

    I learned long ago never to believe ANY report about the Palin family until one of them confirmed or denied it. Sad, but that’s the way it is.

    Good for you, Bristol. Stick to your convictions.

    • michele

      I don’t know…but I’m pretty sure…Bristol had a baby out of wedlock…so…not sure what she’s trying to purport…

      • Chuck Quinn

        When a person realizes the mistakes made in life.And changes their lives. It’s amazing how many snarky,and perhaps jealous people who do not possess the courage to get out of a similar situation.Tend to appear.Perhaps to make themselves feel vindicated by a statement such as this one.Such people are not worth Bristols tme.

      • http://treasurelife808.tumblr.com/ Robyn Lund

        She learned from her mistake, that is what she is saying. I had a baby out of wedlock, and a whole community and a ton of people absolutely know what I stand for. I made a mistake. I didn’t know how to get out of an abusive relationship, got pregnant, got married, now I am getting divorced, and I learned the hard way. Those who don’t get it are ignorant, or hateful. I am sorry you are not in the position of understanding or empathy. Because the day you figure it out, the brighter the sun will shine. And no, I never slept around, and neither did she. I find it crazy how many people who have actually slept around, point the finger. It does not erase their mistakes, or make them better. We are all on this earth learning various trials, but it is how we come out of it that all should be determined, and those who are not, we are to encourage. Who said you ever could build something good when you keep tearing it down?

      • http://www.nothinghidden.org Kim Floyd

        I imagine you are a real joy to be around! NOT! Honey, when will you get over the fact that Bristol is a single- mom having learned from her mistakes and now encouraging others to make wise decisions???? Do you do that to everyone you know … or just the Palin’s?? Constantly reminding them of thier past??? Never encouraging a bright future?? Is your nickname ‘Eeyore’?? My goodness… grow up … and wise up! You are quite annoying being so childish.. unless of course you are a 10 year old.. then, in that case get some adult supervision before coming on the internet.

  • S. Grossman

    It’s great when it works out the way it ‘should’. Unfortunately it doesn’t work out that way for everyone. For example, I have two sisters. The three of us were raised in the Church. My middle sister and her husband moved in together on their wedding day- they are now divorced. I moved in when I got engaged- my husband is now a convicted criminal and we are separated. My baby sister moved in with her now-husband, got engaged, then got pregnant, then got married (did not move up the wedding date), and now has a very happy marriage with a loving husband and doting father. I don’t think doing things ‘the way we should’ penalized my other sister or me. But I do think that if co-habitating were such a harmful thing, my baby sister would not be the happiest of the three of us. Stick to your convictions, they’re great for you. But please do not judge those who do not believe as you do.

    • Autumn

      Sorry but I didn’t hear her judging anybody. And this is coming from a person who didn’t do things the way they “are supposed to” be done. How easy it is to think of this as judgement, however think of this: when we slander another person we are sitting in judgement of him or her, and that is not our privilege, ” There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, ” and that is God, this can be found in the book of James, near the beginning

      • S. Grossman

        I wish we had emotive fonts. This header “Why I’m not going to do it and you shouldn’t either.” appeared in my email with a link to this page. I didn’t think it sounded entirely judgmental, but it did come off a bit preachy and smug. After reading the post I assumed that was not the intent, and had initially planned to ask she keep an open mind regarding those who did not believe as she does, but that seems too much to ask of anyone. Politely requesting she play the ‘judge not’ card when the situation arises- and it will- seemed less demanding.

    • Allison

      Coming up strong on 8 years married! And my former cohabitator and I love each other to no end. We lived together for almost 3 years before getting hitched. Whatever floats your boat!

    • http://treasurelife808.tumblr.com/ Robyn Lund

      Yes, sometimes things do work out for those who don’t necessarily do it ‘the right way’. However, it was this thinking that got me down the bad road I found myself in. I compromised, and it worked out for me in the worse way. I thought, “It’ll work out for us, as long as we’re trying to do what’s right, it will work out”, instead of listening to that voice inside tell me otherwise. Had I stuck to my standards, I wouldn’t have been beaten with fiber glass rods, scared to death to leave a relationship, married to a psycho man who got into porn, etc. It was all gradual, and that’s not the half of it. He seemed like a good guy, and was very cunnning in looking like he wanted to do the ‘right thing’. But the whole time he never really wanted to, he lied, make excuses, and I was too confused to see it then. Yes, I have friends who have had it turn out, but for me, I would have done well to stick to my standards instead of thinking, “It should just turn out”.

      • hairjedi

        If you felt like you were compromising then you made a mistake. It was feeling that you compromised yourself or “settled” for less than what you really needed to be secure in your relationship. Not the fault of living together itself. But your fault for not sticking to your guns. The great thing about it is that we all have choices here, the flip side is that we all must take responsibility for our choices. It works out fine for some people and not as much for others. But it probably works out less well for those that feel they settled for living together when that’s not what they want in their heart of hearts.

    • Gwen

      The comment about not judging others who do not believe as you do should go both ways. How many times have the Palins been judged for their beliefs???

  • Rachel Scardino

    Bristol,
    Thank you for speaking up on a subject that is often ingnored, at least from my observation. I have relatives and casual friends who’ve chosen to co-habitate before marriage. My husband and I chose the path of abstinence, and I moved into his house after saying “I do” nearly 6 years ago. We will NEVER regret this decision, as it laid a firm foundation for our marriage. Thank you for your stand for abstinence!! I know God is blessing you for it and will continue to do so!
    All my support and prayers,
    Rachel S.

  • Terry Spears

    Good for you Bristol. You my dear are wise beyond your years. My wife and I moved in together after our I do’s. Let me think how long ago was that? Hmmm. It was 50 years November 16 2011.

  • elvira walker

    I do not believe a word the Palin family says. Bristol Palin has already proven what she believes in. They talk to hear themselves talk, and to stay relevant to the public. She is now an authority on “Put a ring on it?” NOT.

    • KLeAnneP

      Bristol has proven that she believes in second chances. She’s proven that she believes one or two or even three mistakes doesn’t discount you from doing a 180 and making a change. Your words sound as if you believe a person must live perfectly and never stumble in order to earn an opinion. Or worse, if a person makes a wrong choice, might as well keep doing what you’re doing because there’s no hope for you now. How sad.

      Bristol – Thank you for sharing with the world that there ARE second chances!

    • Sue

      So why are you here?

    • Pam H.

      Why are you reading Bristol’s blog if you don’t believe a word she says? Take your hate somewhere else, please. The Palins are a wonderful example of what an American family should be.

    • blueniner

      With a name like Elvira, why would believe a word from the Queen of Doom, unbelievable.

    • Kim

      I have to laugh at those who are on here to deride Bristol. She is doing what we all should be doing. Living life, making mistakes, learning from them and moving forward. Just because somebody is a Christian doesn’t mean that they are PERFECT. There is only one perfect being and HE is the one who offers us grace when we stumble on earth. Why can’t we do the same for others during our short time on this earth? Bristol, Keep on moving forward with that beautiful little boy of yours!

  • Big J

    Dear Bristol:

    Great article. I have different opinion about cohabiting before marriage. To give you my reader’s digest version of my background, I’m catholic, divorced after 14 years, single dad in my 30s. I believe that whether a couple is married or not, what matters most is entire their commitment to each other and everything else will fall into place. The lessons that I learned from my divorce show me that there has to be certain aspects or characteristics to make a solid foundation. Marriage itself has its financial advantages such as what happens when one spouse passes away.

    I wouldn’t choose to live with a woman if I didn’t have an emotional attachment to her. In other words, I wouldn’t live simply because it would be fun. Living together means sharing expenses, learning to give and receive and put up with things that makes us human. Why live with someone if you are going to be chasing other men/women? I see it as no different as being married to someone.

  • Millie

    Big j,
    If you go that far with you committment then why would you not go ahead and get married? Or better
    still what is your objection to saying the vows and commiting to marriage and making it ligal? Is it the
    fact that you don’t want anything binding and if so then where is the true committment??

    • hairjedi

      Likely because he was already married and betrayed by his spouse. A ring and a piece of paper and shared property/parenting rights won’t make a bad relationship any better.

  • jen allen

    You tell em, girl! I just heard similar on Family Life Today. Get the wedding ring then move in. Does work from personal experience.

  • Tayler Murray

    I loved this! We as Christians need to take a stand starting in our personal lives and stop compromising our faith for what seems most convenient! Might does not make right!

  • Tayler Murray

    She’s not claiming to be perfect here, and she’s not putting anyone down! The great thing about God is he has a plan for us and it’s a hope and a prosperous future, his plans are perfect and when we live our lives according to his design it produces the best results in us! Yes she had a baby, and I had sex before marriage, but there comes a point in a Christians life when you have to choose your ways or trust his are better even if they are unpopular or don’t make sense to you. God will work all things out for the good of those who love him, that’s what he’s doing in her life! So take your negative comments and go somewhere else!

  • Sam

    Bristol I think we all know your “no-sex-before-marriage policy” was broken a long time ago. God the hypocrisy of the right, the moral superiority, the smugness is almost too much to bear.

    • Beth

      That would mean she’s speaking from experience. As in don’t repeat her mistakes.

      • Tony

        as if she doesn’t “repeat her mistakes” herself.

    • Callie

      This is not a bashing blog. I think everyone has done that enough to this girl. She had a child before marriage, it is not like she killed someone. Have you ever heard, “Every Saint has a Past, and Every Sinner has a Future.” This is her ministry, leave it be and let her continue on serving the Lord this way.

    • alwaysfiredup

      Wow, so I guess according to Sam, one mistake has branded Bristol a “loose girl” for life? Most girls Bristol’s age aren’t even bothering to try chastity. And no one cares until the girl turns up pregnant and, horror of horrors, actually carries the baby to term! Your priorities are so screwed up, Sam. Bristol isn’t strutting around claiming she’s better than anyone else for trying chastity. She honestly thinks its a good idea and backs the belief up with evidence. That’s called an argument. Try making one sometime.

    • morgan

      Bravo.

  • Michelle Smith

    Bristol I applaud you :) You are a woman looking forward not backward and most importantly putting God first in your life. Many don’t understand the importance of putting God first at your age…..I am blessed to have a daughter who is 21, married and more importantly put God first :)
    Her marriage is very important to both her and her husband….they waited until they were married for living together as well as sex…..she is very happy she is obedient :)
    I wish you all the best….you are a loved child of God! How awesome is that :)
    God Bless you!!

  • Nicolle Leska

    Every once in awhile when I’m having a stressful day and feel as though I’m surrounded by ignorant self righteous people, I read your blog and my feelings are justified. I mean really? You’ve already managed to “play house” with a “a guy” and have a baby? Perhaps the reason your parents would not allow “a guy” to spend the night is because of bad publicity and because they don’t want you to “play house” and get pregnant again? Unless of course you have become a “born again virgin”. Perhaps living together before marriage does not guarantee happiness, but being married does not guarantee happiness either. Does the marriage certificate guarantee happiness? Does the commitment you make to God guarantee happiness? I think that respecting, loving, committing, and working through the difficult issues in life is what guarantees happiness. Think about it, and break down the naive idealizations.

    • alwaysfiredup

      How is advocating chastity being “self-righteous”? Bristol has endured her share of life trials by failing to meet that ideal. She would know, probably better than you, the pros and cons of it. Sounds to me like the “self-righteous” one here is you, for insisting you know better without a shred of evidence beyond your own opinion.

    • http://heirsinhope.blogspot.com Alessandre

      You’re very fortunate your “stressful day[s]” are limited to when you “feel as though [you're] surrounded by ignorant self righteous [sic] people.” Most of us have stressful days due to illness, the death of a loved one, arguments w/ loved ones, too little money, loneliness, the work of raising kids – all those genuinely painful or difficult experiences that are part of being human. If you’ve been able to avoid such, do tell us the secret.

      As for calling Bristol Palin “self-righteous,” I’d be surprised if she didn’t have her moments – we all do, excepting perhaps yourself (once you’ve got stress down, I’m sure everything else falls into place). This isn’t one of Ms. Palin’s moments. Like so many of us, she has seen what sex outside of marriage looks like & discovered it offers far, far less happiness than it claims. You claim, “respecting, loving, committing, and working through the difficult issues in life is what guarantees happiness.” How does one commit w/o a commitment? And how do you suggest working through that difficult issue of ‘we can leave if things don’t work out,’ which is the result of most co-habitation arrangements?

      You did ask one dreadfully important question, whether making a commitment to God makes one happy. It does, even when one is miserable. It’s paradoxical, but true. One gains a long-term view – life doesn’t all take place this moment or even in 75 – 85 years. The commitment to God allows one to begin experiencing eternity & life becomes the preparation to live in eternity w/ God Himself, similar to the training an athlete undergoes. I didn’t originally like all those pliés & ronde jambes when I was a child but I loved the way I felt after a class & in a little while, I loved dance class & now, I love to dance so much there’s not enough. It’s the same thing as committing to God, it gets better the more faithful we are. So it’s grand you asked that question – and you thought this was just another stressful day. Perhaps the Holy Spirit is leading you to the ultimate commitment w/ God. I’ll pray He is.

  • Barri

    Isn’t it strange that the people who are most critical of setting any standard of morality on themselves are the ones who refuse to forget a mistake or quickest to spot a misstep of another ? As if trying to be honorable makes your mistakes count against you for life so staking out the ground of Godlessness and no attempt at personal honor makes the heathen immune to any judgement . Liberals are the harshest judge of everyone else , even God , then call him fiction . The funny part of it is that as they become totally consumed in their self righteousness all because they never supposed to put on a virtue . The atheist left are the most consumed with concern over the imperfection of others that they have given themselves a lifetime pass on . Nobody ever get perfects but trying to improve does not put a person under the law . Not trying at all is just a lie . The liberal idea that they are immune by repenting of good only shows that they are searching and think the gap is too great . It proves that ” God shaped void ” Sarah Palin wrote about once is a universal human condition and it is more entertainment watching self righteous liberals try to deny they even have a need , while pointing out the imperfections and mistakes of others like experts in the human condition . The human condition is sin and you need a lot of experience and reflection to become any sort of expert about . You either wear it or repent and there is only one name given under heaven . Its the one the haters can not utter . Funny , yes . Maybe I should have a more loving reaction like seems to be inate nature in Bristol , I am working on it . I feel a little closer when I am reading Bristol blogs . Freedom means not being under the law . It would not be so honorable if we didn’t have a choice . Choosing to do what is right out of love , not fear is required . That is why we are free of the law of the hypocrites . You are an inspiration Bristol Palin .

  • Joy

    It’s amazing – and disgusting – that all these busy-bodies have “free advice” and uninformed opinions about your personal life, Bristol! Next time they – or anyone! – offers “free advice,” tell’ em that you’re gonna start charging them Big Bucks for the audacity of butting in where they’re not wanted!

    I don’t know how hard it is for some knuckleheads to grasp that you had a very devastating experience with Levi Johnson, his immaturity and shenanigans – to say nothing of his cheating! (One certainly doesn’t need to be married to feel that pain and the sting of that failure!) But that union also produced the current “love of your life,” so you’re moving on, maturing and learning and just being yourself.

    As for any current (or future) boyfriends, what you do privately is STRICTLY your business! But moving in with a guy is a totally different matter! It immediately cuts off all contacts with other potential future partners – and it definitely sends the wrong message to your family, friends – and, most importantly, your son!

    So, tell everyone to butt out! They can believe anything they want to (and, of course, they do!), but you’re following your own muse and are determined not to make a short-term decision that could negatively affect the long-term goals for yourself and your family. I trust that your commonsense will prevail; and if the guy’s the right one, he’ll happily accept the terms of any official engagement. Co-habitation takes everything to a new level – and one for which many people aren’t prepared. So, do your own thing, but stay out of the false security of a pre-marriage live-in situation!

  • Anne

    If you don’t think cohabitation will work for you, by all means , don’t do it. But don’t make assumptions that what’a right for you, is right for everyone else- as some one else pointed out- the article did not state that the majority of all people’s relationship who cohabit ends badly, but those of people who go into it without much thought and soul searching – and the same could be said of people who marry to quick. My husband and I lived together for 2 and a half years, before getting married, and have now been married for 14 very happy years. And we have 3 great children that we had 5 years after we got married. – although I have plenty of friends who have had children out of wedlock, and are doing well and are happy. The whole point being, if you don’t want to be judged or be told how to live your life, have the courtesy to not do so to others.

  • Dmitry

    t may be the most often quoted and yet most misunderstood verse in the whole Bible. People who have never even cracked open a Bible have heard and quoted this verse. “Do not judge so that you will not be judged” Matthew 7:1

    Usually that verse is used like a hammer to immediately stop any discussion about the rightness or wrongness of a persons behavior. Almost invariably if someone claims that a certain action or behavior is wrong, someone will say, “But Jesus said we are not to judge anyone”. The clear implication is that we can never say if some behavior is sin or not because we are not to judge. Sometimes these words are shouted out in anger and rage, “You can’t judge me!”.

    What is possibly more amazing than the fact that so many people quote this verse and the concept of not judging, is that so many people could get the real meaning so completely wrong. This is especially true since the context makes it clear what Jesus meant by these words. When Jesus said that we should not judge unless we be judged also, he was not saying that we are to never judge if behavior is sin or not. What he was doing was giving us a caution to make sure that we are willing to be judged by the same standard of judgment. This verse is not a warning against judging an action. It is a warning against self deception and hypocrisy.

    The way we know this is the same way that we usually know what the Bible teaches. We look at the context. The verse that immediately follow helps explain what Jesus was saying. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. Matthew 7:2 In other words, if you are going to say that what someone else is doing is wrong then you better be prepared to be judged by the same standard. If you don’t want your life to be scrutinized, then don’t judge others. If you can stand the scrutiny then go ahead. Think of Al Gore telling us that we need to cut down our energy use in order to save the planet and then finding out that he has three large homes and the carbon footprint of Godzilla. He needed to read this verse first.

    • A.H.

      So what are you going to do with the verse that says, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” I agree that Matt. 7:1 is about making sure you are able to live up to the same standard that you judge someone else with, however, the Bible makes it clear, “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.” This means that nobody has the right to judge anybody else when it comes to spiritual matters because we all have sinned.

  • Cass

    “Put a ring on it”—- Precisely: this fetishisation of marriage is rooted in commercialism and subjugation. Relationships should be organic. If you are meant to be with that person you will communicate and stay with them because you WANT to. You haven’t really experienced much of life, and your premarital experience was with a douche bag. (I genuinely feel sorry for you that you suffered that pain, in that respect; perhaps your views on marriage are reactionary.) Soooo….. you don’t know what you’re talking about.

  • Kidd

    I just.. do you not see the massive amounts of hypocrisy you hold so dear to your life? Yes, I understand that we can all learn from our mistakes–I’ve learned to better take care of myself instead of blindly helping people I think needed it, but don’t really need any help whatsoever, and you’ve learned to keep your legs shut (supposedly). However, you’ve lost all right to completely bash people who decide to take a different road than you. Did you not consider many factors involved in this? The economy is pretty much crappy right now, but you probably don’t know that. Most of us need roommates in order to not live with our parents and support ourselves. What’s a better roommate than your significant other? You both already know each other and your boundaries and it’s a great way to understand if you can live together and put up with each other in that sort of environment before getting married. Let’s say you get married and move in and the two of you can’t figure out how to coexist together.. probably would end in a separation or a divorce. This stops that from happening. Granted, it’s not perfect, but neither is your way, so until you prove that your way has more pros than cons, no bashing.

    Just because someone does something different from you does not make them not righteous or pure or chaste or what have you. Yes, ‘trial marriage’ can hurt, but so can seeing your parents suffer while they are married. I had to witness that, and you know, they’re much happier now. My boyfriend is over at my place so often that we do pretty much live together. Our relationship isn’t hurt by it. It’s a safe, comfortable place we can hang out and we get an idea of how we work together in close quarters. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

    That being said, obviously you have a lot more to think about than just yourself–you have a kid. And that’s completely understandable. I certainly wouldn’t have my boyfriend spending as much time over as he does if I did have a child. The child comes first in all respects. But at the same time, I wouldn’t go around bashing someone for doing it. Just because people think differently doesn’t mean they’re idiotic or stupid or ignorant. It means they’re going with what feels right.

    Since we love to take from the Bible in order to learn, here’s a quote that I think you really need to take into consideration before you put people down for having a different idea of what the right thing to do is: “When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.”” John 8:7

  • Ashley

    I agree. My husband and I dated for almost 2 years before we got married. The first time we had sex was our wedding night. The trials and temptations we faced before we were married gave us a “love” relationship rather than a “lust” relationship. I wouldn’t trade that for anything! We have been married just over a year and we couldn’t be any happier!

  • ChristianGal2000

    Bristol girl, you TELL em! All y’all getting on her “abandoning my no-sex-until-marriage policy” well, whaddya think she’s supposed to do? Keep sluttin’ it up with the Levi’s and Denim’s and Khaki’s of the world ’til she’s a 20 year old single mother with 5 kids from 5 different pant makers? NO! This is a good christian girl, who knows Jesus is Lord and Savior!!! She would NOT be repeating the same mistake twice, thrice, or four times. She is NOT sinning by living with a man before they are wed, just like she is NOT having sex or children before wedlock. Look at her example, and learn.

  • Mike

    I read your blog tonight because of your outrageous same sex marriage comments. I’ve been quite entertained by the hypocritical babble you distribute via the internet.

    First of all, I would like to point out a sentence in your gay marriage rant: “we know that in general kids do better growing up in a mother/father home.” You say this, however, your own child is not being brought up in a “mother/father” home. Looks like little Tripp is hopeless!

    Second of all, is your child Jesus Christ or did you have sex before marriage? Whoever is paying you to advocate teen pregnancy prevention should spend their money on someone who can articulate their ideas more clearly.

    And I bet Beyonce is my side.

    • Jennifer

      Well said, good sir.

    • http://lefoxvintage.blogspot.com Vanessa Ray

      Right on! I actually for a minute, based on how blatantly hypocritical all of these entries are, thought this might have been a spoof created by “The Onion”. I am utterly at a loss for words.

    • Becky

      Mike, Have you not heard Bristol’s WHOLE story. Get educated Mike before you spew your liberal intolerant dribble. Have a nice day Mikey! :)

  • Jake DeSnake

    And get a quarter million of charity money to tell us stupid heathens about the evils of premarital sex, way to go, girl

  • Tessa

    This is hilarious. I don’t even know where to start, Bristol- you have already broken all of these rules and values you claim to have and judge others for not sharing. You’ve had sex AND had a child out of wedlock.

    Guess which kind of marriages are most likely to fail? The ones between people who don’t really know each other before tying the knot. I would never get married to someone I had not already lived with, just like I would never marry someone I didn’t know if I was compatible with sexually.

  • Alexa

    You don’t need to ‘shack up’ with your boyfriend, you’re willing to just spread your legs in the back of any ol’ pickup!

    You’re a giant phony. Why don’t you stop blogging your hypocritical BS and go back to raising your bastard alone.

  • Dan Jones

    If a reader didn’t know who Ms. Palin was, or anything about her life history, and read this diatribe, then learned elsewhere she had sex and mothered a child out of wedlock, wouldn’t he or she find this hypocritical? This could have been a heartfelt piece of spiritual advice if she had she been honest that her opinions were informed by having made an even graver mistake – in the eyes of the Christian faithful – than the one she is righteously railing against. The hypocrisy hits an uncomfortable high point at her mentioning of “abandoning (her) no-sex-until-marriage policy” as though this “policy” had been yet unbroken. Without even the briefest such acknowledgement of her very public past it reads as more disgusting ignorance and hypocrisy from either a misguided young woman or some kind of Christian right-wing PR machine. Would an OJ Simpson rant against crime be defended so vehemently by you folks?

    That said, with this level of dishonesty through omission, why bother to mention the “evidence reported in the New York Times” she refers to is from an OPINION piece by a single clinical psychologist. (http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/15/opinion/sunday/the-downside-of-cohabiting-before-marriage.html?pagewanted=all). Why, after all, would she link to the “article” itself, lest someone notice this, or God forbid, the fact that the piece’s author, Meg Jay, cites NO actual studies supporting this “data”. The word “research” cited in Ms. Palin’s chosen excerpt is as close as Ms. Jay comes to an actual source. That’s why such a piece of writing could only be published in the OPINION section of the New York Times. In fact, the only actual studies she cites near the end of the piece indicate the trend she describes is lessening. Ms. Jay also writes that she does not recommend for or against pre-marital cohabitation, although Ms. Palin slyly suggests this “reporting” condemns it.

    As for Ms. Palin’s beloved Bible, allow me to recall to her the Word of Her Lord or King James: “A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD.” (Deuteronomy 23:2) Given that this passage, as I interpret it, condemns her child – and the ten generations to follow him – to hell, this might not be the best text for her to invoke for any reason, let alone an attempt to judge responsible consenting adults who are “shacking up.” That’s just the thing about the Bible, there’s a passage and an interpretation to suit any conviction – or any rationalization.

  • dee

    well well well…. dont we have a set ms palin……………..you got knocked up before you were married to a JERK!!!! did mommy ever tell you that? I know plenty of gay couples that would make better parents then you and your mommy and daddy. so shut up. no body cares what you have to say!

  • Alex

    Sorry I became extremely confused after you said “people all over America were applauding me for –finally! – coming to my senses and abandoning my no-sex-until-marriage policy. “….Pretty arrogant to imply you were blessed with a virgin birth, no?

  • gimmeabreak

    Bristol,
    Why hasn’t he put a ring on it?
    But then again why would he? Judging by your blog, you’re not someone I would want around everyday. You would be pointing out everything I do wrong and say it’s unholy or that I’m a sinner. There’s a reason why he hasn’t put a ring on it, honey– it’s you.

  • A.W.

    I recently moved in with my boyfriend, who that SAME NIGHT, after spending all day moving boxes & heavy furniture, got down on his knee & proposed. I was so surprised & thrilled, it was amazing, and now I get to say that I’m living with my fiancee. HOWEVER, I moved in with him thinking he wouldn’t propose for at least a few months – and I was more than content to be his girlfriend, because I know that he and I have a strong foundation in our relationship and we communicate. It’s not perfect all the time, but then, nobody’s relationship is. My parents lived together for four years before they got married, and their relationship after almost 30 years together, is stronger than ever. Yes they went through rough times, but they worked hard on it and made it work. I know another couple that didn’t live together before they got married and now they’re getting divorced. I don’t think the effects of cohabitation before marriage can really be defined by studies, because those studies aren’t looking at *every* couple that cohabitates before marriage, it’s a small representation of the population. Second, way to go with being the queen of hypocrisy. It’s great that you learned from your mistakes, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re equipped with the intelligence and wherewithall to go spouting a blog post about cohabitation, especially since your “wonderful mom and dad” were such great parents that they monitored every move you made…and kept you from getting pregnant, while you were living under their roof.

  • Janna

    Ooooh Bristol, I think when you get older you are going to look back at these blogs and realize what a sheltered, naive girl you were. I have read every one of your posts this morning and the only thing I have taken away from them is that you are by far the most judgemental individual I have encountered in a while and that you are also a hypocrite.
    Your political and religious beliefs clearly guide your moral compass, more power to you. Do you realize though that if you weren’t so judgemental and obnoxious about other people’s lifestyles, that people would be less likely to jump down your throat about your poor choices when your moral compass went spinning in circles? Judge not, lest you be judged. Perhaps if you had more of a ‘live and let live’ attitude, no one would be commenting on you. You have purposely inserted yourself into the public eye, you will now reap the consequences. There are plenty of children of political figures that have never once been snapped by a camera and yet here you are, eating up the attention out of one side of your mouth and complaining about the attention out of the other side.
    Go home to Alaska, grow up for about 5 or 6 or 10 more years, get an education, and then when you’ve seen a little more of the world, start blogging again.

    • CJ

      Janna, you’re telling her she’s wrong for being judgmental? So, what gives you the right to be judgmental? Or are you so blinded by your own self-righteousness that you can’t see your own hypocrisy? (And, no, I don’t think it’s wrong to judge. It’s just wrong to judge others by a different standard than you have for yourself. And on those occasions when you don’t live up to your standards, that’s not hypocrisy — it’s called “being human,” which Miss Palin decidedly is.)

    • http://mothersdreamartworks.blogspot.com/ Sheryl

      @Janna, as a 56 year old woman I agree with most of what Bristol stated above. She wasn’t judgmental, and she shared research she found. She wasn’t hateful in her speech, not attacking. She gave reasons she felt shacking up is wrong. The research on this issue of cohabitation is faulty in the conclusion as it misses some factors. Sure people find it easier to leave each other if they aren’t married, but there’s a lack of trust, not only in their own value as someone to stick with, but they aren’t always sure their partner is being faithful. Another down side is that most folks who cohabitate have sex so early in their relationship that they don’t get to know each other as people first. When they find out they don’t like each other it might be too late, because there are children involved, property purchased and so on.
      So Bristol made a mistake and now she’s working to right the wrong by speaking up. She has a right to make that effort, and it takes courage to speak up after having made a poor choice in the past. She’s not touting herself as an angel, she’s figured out the hard way why marriage before sex, that commitment, that time getting to know each other before the passion is consummated, is so important.

  • Patrick

    What no sex until marriage policy? Did you find your baby under a cabbage?

    All fairness though – classic stuff. You’re truly so dumb it makes my head spin. This really is like the onion!

    • ^^You are^^

      yes!!! the palin family is a mind boggle

  • Jlewis

    Gosh, I lived with my husband for 13 years before we got married. We have two beautiful, happy, well adjusted sons. We have 20 years of monogamy and bliss. We have many many friends on the same path. Commitment has nothing to do with paperwork.

    • http://mothersdreamartworks.blogspot.com/ Sheryl

      Good for you, but the research shows that only 19 percent of those who live together before marriage make it. I have friends who have done both and I made that mistake once myself. Did it right the second time and am much happier.

      • Bollocks

        Better to realize incompatibility before marriage than when you’re in deep with a mortgage and kids.

  • Janelle

    Thanks for the humility you share on your blog, Bristol. Apparently people are ignoring the fact that the title of your post is about why YOU don’t live with your bofriend. Stick with your convictions and you will be blessed for it.

  • Carli

    Why are you all entitled to your opinions and judgements but she isn’t? Who is the hypocrite now?

  • Katherine

    OK, two things:
    1) It is possible to live with someone of the opposite sex and not have intercourse with them. But such a “trial marriage” would give a couple the opportunity to see how they interact in daily matters such as doing chores, maintaining privacy, sharing space, coordinating schedules etc…the stuff you do every single day of your marriage.
    2) Unfortunately, the NY Times article is based on some crummy research and includes large samples of people who decided to live together for idiotic reasons, such as saving money or because of the inertia of their relationship. (Actually saving money is a great reason to do things, but you shouldn’t enter into such a serious relationship partnership for that sole reason.)

    My view is that there is no silver bullet. A couple considering getting married should think about what is best for them vis-a-vis living together prior to marriage. For some people, it just does not work. My sisters and I run the range of experiences. My eldest said that she would not live together until marriage, which is how it turned out for her and her husband. My middle sister said she would have to be engaged before living together, and they lived together with the promise of marriage for about a year before getting married. My husband and I lived together for a year before getting engaged, and another year before getting married. Speaking from my experience it was amazing. We ironed out all of the day-to-day couple needs before actually taking the plunge. And if we had realized it would not work out in the home we would have just not gotten married, rather than putting ourselves in a bad situation. We’ve been married for 7 years and we are going strong.

  • MW

    You have a no sex until marriage stance? Isn’t it a bit late for that? Talk about closing the barn door after the cows have escaped! Maybe you should spend less time worrying about what others are doing and actually educate yourself a little bit before you raise yet another generation of your family to be a bigoted hypocrite.

  • jessa

    I’m reading your blog in reverse… and loving every post so far! Keep up the good work!

    • ^^You are^^

      no sarcasm? = palin family member or friend. i’ve read a few of these posts but many of the comments seem to be planted. I bet that Sarah Palin PR machine has a person (maybe a whole team) that run around to different sites on the web and post feverish comments …. I think Bristol’s got a crew like that too.

  • You’re so stupid

    If you weren’t so dumb maybe you’d understand the absurd irony of this blog being written by an unwed mother.

  • Brittany

    I appreciate that Bristol has the mindset to share her opinion, and although I am a huge fan of both her and her mom, I just can’t agree with this. I was a teen mom myself so I can’t imagine going around telling people not to do what I just did. It’s so strange to me. I’m still a fan, and I still respect you Bristol, I just can’t understand this.

  • jessicaski

    Since when do you have a no sex before marriage policy? Pretty sure sex comes before the baby…

    • http://truthbeforedishonor.wordpress.com John Hitchcock

      Since when did you determine recovering drug addicts have no right to tell people to say no to drugs?

      Since when did you decide that convicted felons in prison cannot participate in the “scared straight” programs to keep young first-time offenders out of prison?

      Since when did you determine only sinless people can tell others not to sin?

      Since when did you decide it was not okay for someone to say “don’t make the same horrible mistakes I made”?

      Seriously, Jessica, grow up and quit being a petulant brat.

      • clara

        Dear Bristol,
        I think you are entitled to your own decisions, but I also think that you are too quick in judging other people’s choices. My boyfriend and I lived together for two years, happily – then we got married and are now expecting our first child. I am very happy that we had this experience of living together before committing to each other for life. We were able to get to know each other much better than just ‘dating’, and to be really sure that we wanted to be together for better or for worse. It did work for us, and for many other people. I also have cases of friends who did not live together before getting married (because she wanted “a ring on it”), and separated a few weeks after the wedding. Obviously, there are also experiences of unhappy marriages after cohabitation and happy marriages without cohabitation. Far more important are the people’s motivations, commitment to each other, and maturity.
        Funny, also, how you quote the New York Times (prototype of the neoliberal mainstream media, no?) as an authority in this matter, together with the Bible!
        I wish you all the best in your life, but I think that in general things would go much better if we were ready to acknowledge and respect the worth of other people’s choices.

  • dallers

    The beauty of this country that we live in is the freedom of speech. Everyone of us is entitled to our beliefs and /or opinions. I agree that only God judges however, that does not stop us “humans” from having an opinion on a matter without having to judge the stiuation. The other beauty is if you don’t like other people’s opinions than you don’t have to read, listen, or agree with them whether they are in the public eye or not. A blog can be written by anyone or not. Leaving negative comments is not only pointless but just bad karma. Be happy that we are all different people with different thoughts and all free to decide what’s best for us. Be glad we are not robots all programmed how to live, what to think and what to say. Free will is a gift of God and a proper understanding of his written word brings all the clarity anyone needs because after all living for God is all that matters not what man decides is best for us because afterall look where its gotten us.

  • MJ

    People who are inexperienced with interpreting data make this mistake all the time. Correlation DOES NOT equal causation.
    Your argument is incredibly weak. There’s statistics that show as ice cream sales increase, so does crime. Does this mean ice cream is a menace to society? No, there are other factors (such as increase in temperature, irritability, decrease in resourecs, etc.) that happen during the time ice cream sales increase that can be proven through better statistical measures than a correlational analysis to contribute to crime. As for the cohabitation before marriage issue, real research has shown real other factors contribute to decrease in marital longevity (e.g. less-rigidity in views of divorce) and it has nothing to do with simply living together beforehand. Just like ice cream sales have nothing to do with crime.
    Nice try, but please do not try to interpret statistics to support your faith-based beliefs unless you really know what you are doing. Better luck next time, friend.

  • Nancy Irey

    Love your bog…you go girl..

  • Cohab5Married16AndCounting

    The true “height of hypocrisy” is you (unmarried teenage pregnancy) lecturing anyone about premarital sex and/or cohabitation.

    • Carol

      Some people learn from their mistakes and try to correct them in the future. They also try to help others avoid the mistakes they have made. Palin was 16 she has grown and learned alot in the past 4 years! Should we judge Obama on his actions at 16?

  • Fred C. Dobbs

    What a hypocritical, narrow-minded, and biased asswipe you are.

  • girllikesart

    These blogs remind me of how it is to be twenty one and feel like you are such an adult with such great ideas… and then you go to college and get an education and start to think for yourself and you realize that everything you had spouted out for years was just rhetoric shoved down your throat by your parents and their naivety from growing up in the past generation.
    It is human for an under educated teenage mom who wants to look grown up to say these kinds of ridiculous things but isn’t it our responsibility to demand more from ourselves and each other? These critiques that Bristol receives from people are a direct reflection of the kind of crap she’s dishing out.
    I am thankful that I am not the one selling my parents ideas to the public and making myself a complete hypocrite in the process. These blogs make me happy that I went college before popping out an “illegitimate” child. It makes me happy that I studied hard for both of my degrees and learned to be open minded and accepting of the different types of people in this world. I can understand that different people from different backgrounds have different views and not forcing mine on others doesn’t mean I am a weak individual, in actuality it shows my strength and conviction. So thank you Bristol Palin for being the example of what I never want to be.

  • Ben

    LMAO. You’re kidding, right? You must be embarrasing the shit out of your parents with stupid posts such as this. Obviously you have had sex before marriage, so you could not possibly have a “no sex before marriage” policy. Maybe you should have done a blog titled, “Put a condom on it” that explained how you made a mistake so you could actually provide some insight, instead of making yourself look stupid.

  • fsteele

    Well, I have a friend who says his cohabitation led to a less than ideal marriage, later divorced, because it was kind of a slippery slope. He got into cohabiting with his first wife casually without much thought, and that drifted into marriage (especially easy if she gets pregnant). Later he met someone with whom he was much better suited and wished he had waited.

    Still it could work the other way, with cohabitation showing one couple they aren’t suited, so they never marry each other — so no divorce. So i’d want to know more about any such studies. You’d need to count how many divorces came after the couple had progressed to marriage — and also what happened when someone cohabited with John and then married Sam instead.

    Anyway I admire your honesty in leaving negative comments here — and the Palin courage in general, too.

  • Chris

    Dear Bristol,
    Your blog could easily be attacked from a multitude of angles, but I’ll focus solely on your limited content because expecting you to write above a sixth grade level would be far and above your abilities and I won’t ask you to strain yourself too hard.
    To summarize your point, you don’t think it’s a good idea for Levi and you to live together because it wouldn’t be a healthy environment for you, your child and Levi. I agree.
    That said, the problem isn’t that the three of you don’t form a family, it’s that you carry on and financially profit from your failures as a person. If you want to try instruct others about abstinence or traditional marriage then I ask you to practice what you preach. Nothing more and nothing less than that. Everyone knows that you don’t believe abstinence only education works. Look at yourself, you are a living example of its failure. I say that not as a critic, but as someone that looks at you as a victim of that line of thought. The problem I have is that you turn around and teach the very system that failed you to other teenagers, and you do it for money. Clearly what you do for a living is wrong, and I think you know it.
    Secondly we need to address the issue of “traditional marriage” that you seem to indorse. You need to know that I’m a happily married heterosexual, and so when I say that you have no first-hand knowledge about marriage, I want you to know that it comes from someone with more experience in the subject than yourself.
    Dear Bristol Palin,
    I am writing this in response to two of your recent blog posts that have drawn (presumably unwanted) criticism. In the more recent blog you criticize President Obama’s statement on gay marriage. You did so by making some rather bizarre references to Dora the Explorer (which I won’t bother addressing). In the older blog you address why you and Levi are not married. In summery, you don’t think it’s a good idea for Levi and you to live together because it wouldn’t be a healthy environment for the three of you. I agree wholeheartedly.
    The problem isn’t that I object to your lifestyle. It’s that you financially profit from your failures as a person. If you want to instruct others about abstinence or traditional marriage then I simply ask that you practice what you preach: nothing more and nothing less. Most rational people know that abstinence-only education is a poor way to instruct teens about sex. Look at yourself- you are a living example of its failure. I say that not as a critic, but as someone that looks at you as a victim of that line of thought. The problem I have with you is that the system failed, and yet you turn around and teach other teenagers the very same, and you do it for money. Clearly what you do for a living is unethical, and I think you know it.
    Secondly we need to address the issue of “traditional marriage” that you seem to endorse. Before I go any further you need to know that I’m a happily married heterosexual, and so when I say that you have no first-hand knowledge about marriage, I want you to know that it comes from someone you would call “traditionally married.”
    Let’s get back to you, Bristol. You are young and you are an unwed mother. That cannot be an easy situation. I’m sure it has been hard and I’m sure the criticism has been tough and at times it has been just plain mean. But here’s the thing Bristol: Those people that criticize you are the same that want you in a “traditional marriage.” You know their line of thought: you had unprotected sex, got pregnant, had a baby and now they (your critics) believe you are obligated to marry the man that impregnated you. They don’t care if you want to marry him or not. It’s tradition. The same tradition that postulates that marriage should only be between a man and a woman. Isn’t it strange how the argument for “traditional marriage” backfires when it clashes with what you want out of life?
    So Bristol, please stop instructing others on how they should or shouldn’t live their lives. I’m not saying you should agree with the lifestyles of others. Just stop making it YOUR business. I bet if you stop criticizing the lives of others, you will find yourself free from criticism in the process.

  • Frankie Dogg

    Your response to President Obama supporting same sex marriage was children need a mother/father in home
    You had a baby and you are not married. Where is the father for your. Unwed mothers are on the same level as same sex marriage. Do you even know who the father is? Where is he? Why is he not in the home because as you said children need a mother/father in home.
    “Do as I say and not as I do” don’t cut it.

    • ed bartsz

      Mr Dogg Bristol made a mistake she asked God,s forgiveness and God had forgiven her. In God’s eyes she is forgiven and He does not remember it any longer, she is clean are you?.

      • xcheshirecat

        And now tell me, like for the child out of wedlock : When have USA became an autocracy ?

        If there’s a god somehow, it’s to gay to answers to it in time. It’s not to religious people to decide for others who to live their life. As it’s not to us to judge what bristol does in her own life

        The state is neutral and about equal rights, not an autocracy

    • Lee

      Actually, her baby HAS a father. The parents just dont live together, as do many millions of parents. Heck my parents were divorced. So what? My mom was single raising me, but my father was there in my life, I even eventually moved in my my dad and step mom for a while.

  • http://conundrum08.tumblr.com Kaye

    That article in NYT is obviously either outdated, or taken out of context. In a recent psychological study, the “cohabitation effect” is only true of ENGAGED couples, not of couples lacking or having passive intent to marry. Do your research. Moreover, do your research in the right areas. The New York Times may be a noted publication, but don’t go looking for statistics and psych facts outside of a psychology journal. This is a poor excuse for a blog. Bristol Palin is narrowminded, uninformed, and seriously lacking in worldly experience. Twenty something and still living with mom and dad? Grow up and live in the big bad world for a bit. It might lift those blinders you’re wearing.

  • apodoca

    Bristol, the mockers can’t begin to understand the difficulty of the no-sex path because they don’t understand the tension (should not-should) under which Christians live. I applaud you for your decision not to live with your boyfriend until you are married. Not only is it not Biblical, it cheapens you, and it stains the relationship with the man long before you ever get to the church to say ‘I do.’ God before, you will survive, Bristol. Even if you slip and fall, Christ is there to catch you and set you back on your feet, to raise you on eagles’ wings.

    • ed bartsz

      Thank you for the comment we need to stand up for those in Christ with our lives if need.

  • paul wallace

    The GOP has a long history of underfunding and/or neglecting education. And it’s for a reason: the less educated the voter, the more likely he or she is to vote Republican. That’s why so many middle or lower-middle class whites vote against their own economic interests. They fall for the flag-waving, bible-thumping distortion of the groups funded by the tycoons who will forever abuse them. It’s a fact as old as our democracy.

    never trust a republican©

    • Dooz48

      What twisted/warped sense of logic did you dust this idea from? The more public education our children endure, . . . the dumber they become, . . and more likely they are to vote democrat/ liberal (Does anyone teach how to read or write cursive? Or that 2+ 2 = 4 and not . . . whatever number you feel it equals! But every kid can tell you about how they can save the Earth!). Few places exist for a solid education that permits a well-rounded body of knowledge, but the antithesis is repleat everywhere with liberal thoughts, ideas, and grading in nearly all public education sectors . . . in essence, the dumbing-down of America is everywhere, and without fail, 80% or more of the teaching staff in nearly every public education system vote Democrat/Liberal. And after the trillions of dollars the American people have put into public education since the 1940′s, . . . we have the dumbest class of graduates ever devised in American history. The liberal mantra and social engineering really took hold in the 1970′s, and has been on a steady decline ever since! Thanks liberal democrats! You’ve done fine work here. Little Johnny and Janie can read, . . . but can’t write or form a sentence, structure their speech, and they are oh-so good at text-speak (wat u doin?)! For the money we’ve spent, it’s embarrassing where we rank internationally in all sectors of education! Maybe it’s time to get back to our roots of the three R’s, instead of being great IB students/learners!!??!?

    • Elise

      @Paul Wallace: That’s HILARIOUS considering that statistically speaking, Democratic voters are the least educated. Republican voters are more likely to have completed high school and college. They also perform better on tests of political knowledge. That’s a fact. Democrats court the votes of the ignorant, the high school dropouts, dependent on the government for their needs. But nice try, tossing around wrong ASSumptions as if they’re facts.

  • sap

    Well obviously your parents aren’t always around to keep you from “letting guy’s in”…….

  • Michele

    Bristol,
    Just wanted to let you know—1st off—I supported you on DWTS. I became a fan. However, I want to point out to you and the rest of the country that you can live with someone without having sex. I did. My boyfriend moved in with me after 9 months of dating. We later got engaged and lived together for two more years, getting to know one another and becoming best friends, without ever having sexual intercourse (of any type). After three years of living together (without any type of sexual intercourse), we got married. We have now been married for 10 years . I want to let you and others know that they should not be so quick to jump to conclusions. We both informed our parents of our plans to live together and not have sex. While it was not easy at times (to resist temptation) it became easier as time went on and as we neared our wedding date! It was great for the two of us, as we were able to save money to pay off all of our debt before marriage and get to know one another’s daily living habits. From the moment we got married, I knew that if we could resist temptation for three years and still stay commited and strong, we could endure anything. Since our wedding day, we have bought our first house together, taken care of my ailing mother, buried both of our mothers, and made many, many happy memories! I am glad that we were able to start the way that we did, with such a strong foundation. I would not change one thing if I could.
    P.S–I also want to add that I, like you became pregnant while not married. I was 21 when I got pregnant, a senior in college. I graduated college when my son was 6 months old, with the help of my two very supportive parents. When my son was one year old, I met my boyfriend, who has been a wonderful role model and caregive for my son since he came into our lives.
    Just wanted to speak up for those people trying to do what they feel is right but in their own way!
    Michele from Mississippi

  • Justwondering

    “Rest assured — there’s no way on earth my mom and dad would allow a guy to spend the night here with me.” It’s remarkable that Ms. Palin offers condemnations of other’s choices with such authority and arrogance, yet sees no irony in her admission that she really has no authority at all; that she’s still dependent on her parents and what they will and won’t “allow.” Keep preaching, Ms. Palin. You’re a city on a hill.

  • skye

    I understand you are in the spotlight and all but why would it be anyone’s business if you were living with your boyfriend? It’s things like this that make me so happy I’m not famous as I had wished to be when I was younger.

  • Katherine

    My husband and I lived together for one year prior to our marriage. We were engaged when we “shacked up,” but the engagement came after our plans to move in together – so we would have shared a home regardless of our relationship status. I can’t tell you how happy I am! By living together prior to our marriage, we’ve both found and fixed the quirks that drive each other nuts. When we finally tied the knot, the transition to married life was flawless.

  • Maria Dorsey

    I would love to know where in the Bible it indicates, “living together before marriage does not lead to happiness?” I would love to show it to my boyfriend. Thanks.

  • Joe

    I don’t understand what the big deal is about Gay people in America. Last time I checked we are the land of the free. So what your saying is that if your mom runs for President again she won’t take VOTES from Gay people because their Gay? I don’t care for Glee either buts its better then all the violent shows out there.

    • Mary

      Get off your l,iberal high horse, Joe! Bristol said absolutely nothing about ‘gay’ (your words, not mine!) people! Bristol, stay true to your convictions and be proud of the life you are choosing for yourself! Much love to you and your entire family!

  • Emily

    Yes, yes, yes! I recently took a class called Marriage and the Family and we had an entire section on the sexual revolution. I don’t remember the exact statistic, but well over half of all cohabiting relationships end in a year (either due to break up or marriage). However, the marriages that do result generally end in divorce. Even my friend who is pro-sex before marriage is against cohabitation after that class and we jokingly (but still dead seriously) tell our other friend that she better not cohabitate before marriage.

    I also find this post interesting, because recently my step-sister said she though you should live with someone before you marry them. That it gives you a chance to know how they actually live. No matter your religious values, the facts tell us that rarely works out.

  • Eric

    You had a kid. You had sex. You do not have a no sex before marriage policy. What planet do you live on?

    • Emmica

      LOL That was exactly my thought. I’m like what?!

      • Erin

        There is a such thing as learning from your mistakes. Bristol would never say her child was a mistake. But she has realized that sex before marriage was a mistake. Bristol, unlike some whom I would agree are hypocritical, is a good example of not just regretting mistakes, but warning other people not to make them also. Bristol’s been there. And she doesn’t want America’s teens to go there too.

        • Alex

          It’s a beautiful thing, the Lord’s mercy. Even when we commit sins in God’s eyes, such as engaging in premarital sex, cohabitation, or homosexuality (I only name these simply because they seem to be the latest feather rufflers,) when we turn back towards God and confess our sin, he’s so forgiving and wipes our slate clean! His abundant love and mercy is a beautiful thing! (People don’t have to agree with me that those actions are sins, nor do they need to correct me on it in subsequent posts. I’m sure you all are lovely people, but it won’t change my beliefs.) Bristol, I know you’re so right on with the subject of cohabitation. I’m getting married next month and people cannot believe we’re not living together. In fact, my fiance cannot insure the engagement ring and other assets as riders on his home insurance policy, simply because I’m not living with him. Talk about structuring the system to only cater to certain individuals!

          • John

            This is why you’re religion is a joke, you can commit any number of abhorrent crimes or acts and just be like “sorry bro, really” and the slate is clean? fuck no! If you kill regardless of apology you’re a murderer. I have no faith for a god or a religion that allows child rapists, murderers, thieves, and sowers of ill will into their ranks over a simple “I’m sorry” get a grip.

          • Jenni

            Well said Alex! I have a child out of wedlock and yes I admit i sinned but i am now celibate and have been for 5+ years. My son just turned 5 so 5 years and 9 months to be exact. i applaud you Bristol on your stance. The fact that you are in the lime light makes it so hard when all your sins are laid out on the table in front of you. if you steal a candy bar, you have sinned by committing theft. But does that mean you should say, “Oh well! I’ve stolen so now I am forever a thief! I might as well go out and rob a bank.” No! It means you repent and turn from your wicked ways. Fortunately for you that sin isn’t public for all the world to see like a child.

    • Mary

      Eric, I don’t know about yours…but the GOD I serve is the GOD of second chances!

      • Holley

        Well said Mary!!

    • LeAnne

      You can change your mind. What if you made a decision or mistake and then changed your mind? Are you saying that is not possible, Eric? My goodness you are closed minded to anything but YOUR way and ideas. God bless you though :)

  • Jessica Miller

    So, pretty much you’re telling me that wait until you’re married to live together? See, here’s the thing, when you are living together before marriage you can know if it’s actually gonna work out and see how they live, etc. But, if you get married and then live together you’re STUCK with that person, so you can’t just leave em cuz you don’t like the way they live. Well, if you would’ve lived with em before you got married, you would’ve known that. AND, btw, if you really love someone, it doesn’t matter if you’re married or not. I have lived with my bf a year already and we are doing just fine. And, that’s my first experience living with a guy. Pretty sure it doesn’t matter.

    • Chitter

      The problem is that this country doesn’t seem to understand what “marriage” really is. It isn’t like picking a dress for that special party. It isn’t just trying on different outfits until you find the right one. Marriage is a commitment made between two people, a lifetime commitment. Two people who decide to spend their lives together NO MATTER WHAT. If you think getting married and living with that person means you are STUCK, then you have no business marrying. Living together and marrying are two totally different things. When you live with someone, there is no commitment. The door to leave is always open. Getting married and actually working on that relationship day after day, good or bad, just seems to be too hard for most of this country. Sad!

  • FailinPalin

    Oh Bristol, Bristol, Bristol. The WHOLE Palin family were humping their brains out before marriage. While doing other things like cutting school bus brake lines and other fun stuff like that. And your dear mother had a thing for chocolate before her shot gun wedding to dear old dad.

    Don’t act like you’re some sweet, demure and pure virgin girl. No sex before marriage to you evangelicals usually means don’t put it in THAT hole, but I have two others that are available. Maybe 4 if you include your ears.

    • George

      Dude, you are what we call “TRASH”!

  • Erin

    There is a such thing as learning from a mistake. Bristol would never say her son was a mistake, but she has learned that sex before marriage was. Bristol is a good example of someone who regrets what she did and does not want to go back. See, Bristol has been down that road and she doesn’t want to see America’s teens go down it also. Her platform is to protect teens from making the choices she did. She is an amazing pop-culture icon and it’s good to have her :)

  • Danielle Kuhl

    The excerpt you site from that April NY Times article is based on data from 30 years ago. The “cohabitation effect” is no longer a valid argument for not living together before marriage. It has recently been debunked by updated data in social science, from research done by a scholar in my own department at BGSU, Wendy Manning. It is the “serial cohabitors” whose futures and wellbeing are less than ideal. You can conveniently choose to site research that you think backs up your arguments, but as we all know, even people who do not cohabit before marriage can end up in unhappy marriages and get divorced.

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2012/04/16/cohabitation_does_not_lead_to_more_divorce.html

  • Frank

    Re: Sex before marriage and/or co-habitation…my wife and I did not live together nor did we have sex before the wedding. And how did that work for us? We’ve had some rough spots over the years, but have managed to work them out and without cheating on each other. We will be celebrating our 60th anniversary next month.

  • Reality

    Bristol ,get your GED, a steady boyfriend, a marriage license , a real job.and a life before you speak about something you know nothing about. Your mother made millions speaking about Stuff,she knows Nothing about; but it will not work for you.

  • Kaitlin

    Hey Bristol! I am 15 years old and from Mississippi. I just want you to know that I respect you and everything you stand for. Being raised in ‘the Bible Belt’, I have always had a firm Christian faith and Christian views. I think you are a very inspiring person. Don’t let anything shake your faith!

  • Marissa

    I actually respect and look up to Bristol as a 19 year old woman. Even though I don’t exactly agree with everything she says and even though we don’t have the exact same views I admire her strength in standing up and following exactly what she believes in. She is definitely an inspiration and I really look up to her. (:

  • Gloria King

    Thanks for your bold and truthful statements in this blog. It shows you research out what you say and why you stand where you do. Your blog is refreshing to this grandmother who has a hard time with her grandaughter’s life style. You have given me words to say to them and places to back up what I say. God bles you.

  • Len

    I know that I’m way late, but Bristol, you might like this synopsis of marriage statistics by the Oregon Family Council…

    http://oregonfamilycouncil.org/downloads/marriage-society-report

  • http://august6th2011.blogspot.it/ Abigail Busch

    Bristol, I admire you and your mother so very much. I myself, didn’t live with my husband until marriage, we were also both virgins until our wedding night, and he was also my first kiss. I have high values myself, and I’m so thankful I stuck to them, I know I would have regretted it so much otherwise. Thank you so much for your Strong faith in God, and your wonderful example to everyone around you.

  • Barbara Smith

    Bristol, I respect you for all you are standing for, it is wonderful to see a person of your age having an impact to the good in this generation. The bottom line is live our lives, and lifestyles according to the Bible. It is very clear IF a person wants to know the truth and how to live……But first a person has to receive Jesus Christ into their heart and be changed thur Him to then go on and live out what He says in His Word. It is evident you are doing that and I pray you stay very strong!!


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