Hate in the Name of Love, Bullying in the Name of Tolerance

Well, I stirred up a hornet’s nest.  You know you’ve struck a nerve when even J-Woww tweets insults at you.  But the thing that most amazes me is how few people actually addressed the points I made in my recent blog post.  They were pretty simple.  Conservative women like my mom get grief because people think they can’t make decisions without their husband, but Barack Obama gets applauded for changing his mind on a huge issue after consulting his wife and young daughters. The double standard amazes me.

Oh, and in that post I also said generally kids do better with mother/father families – the kind of family I’d like to have for Tripp one day.

That’s it.  That’s pretty much the post.  (Yes, I made a little joke about Swiper the Fox, but anyone with a brain would know that wasn’t serious.)  You see arguments like that all the time in political magazines.  It’s not a big deal, and the people who make arguments like that don’t stir up much controversy.

But I’m not a pundit.  I’m just a mom made famous in one of the most intense and embarrassing ways possible – by having your teen pregnancy announced in the middle of a presidential campaign.  Oh, and I was a finalist on Dancing with the Stars, one of the most-watched shows on TV.  But all that means I’m more a part of pop culture, the culture that creates the television we watch and the music we listen to.  When real pundits write blog posts, they don’t pop up in Us Weekly… but mine do.

And I’m glad.  Why?  Because pop culture needs a little bit of debate.  It needs a little bit of disagreement.  Because not everyone who watches their shows or listens to their music thinks the way the directors, producers, and actors think.  When you’re in Hollywood you’ll meet some great people, some terrible people, and many somewhere in between.  In other words, they’re people just like everyone else.  But what you won’t find is any disagreement about things like gay marriage or abortion.  For those folks, there’s one way to think, and anyone who disagrees is stupid, hypocritical, hateful, or bigoted.  (Of course, I’m not the only one facing the wrath of the Hollywood-type sheeple – there are some celebrities bold enough to speak out, and they get attacked and ostracized too.)

If you read the almost 3,000 comments after my controversial post, or read the entertainment magazines, you’ll see some of the most terrible words against me, my mom, and my entire family.

You’ll see hate in the name of love. People claim they’re just trying to protect the right of two people to love each other – a right I don’t contest, by the way – and then spew the worst words imaginable at someone they disagree with.  If the agenda is love, why do you hate so intensely?

You’ll see bullying in the name of tolerance. Bullying is in the news lately, for good reason.  It’s horrifying to see stories of young people taking their own lives because they can’t see past the hate of others.  Around Hollywood, there’s lots of concern and great initiatives to try to encourage more kindness in this world.  Then why do I get so many messages telling me I should die?  Here’s a sampling that we didn’t put up on the blog:


And if you read the comments we let through, the only word that really sums them up is “bullying.”  They treat me as if I’m not human, as if they are somehow proving how great they are by (always anonymously, the cowards) tearing me apart with their words.

Here’s the thing.  In the articles and comments, I saw a lot of hate and a lot of bullying, but you know what I didn’t see much of?  Arguments.  In fact, this reminds me a little bit of the incident in an L.A. bar that went viral several months ago and will be shown in its entirety in my upcoming new reality tv show.  There, a guy started yelling at me and called my mom terrible names, but couldn’t tell me one decent reason why he was filled with so much hate.

Here’s a news flash, guys.  Your hate and bullying don’t work.  People see through it, and they don’t like to be pushed around.  You think it’s completely obvious that you’re right, but this younger generation is more pro-life than their parents, and voters just keep defending traditional marriage.  Why?  Why would we if you’ve been telling us what to think for all these years?

Because we think for ourselves.  And we’ll keep thinking for ourselves no matter what you call us.  So keep sending the hate, but realize that hate doesn’t win arguments.
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  • Heart is broken

    Here’s my story about Hate. Someone wrote up a fake Facebook status using my name and real picture. Of course I WOULD NEVER say what it said, but my real Facebook account got flooded with hate speech and threats by people who knew NOTHING about me, period. I was so surprised by the language people used and saying it all “in the name of love” thinking they’re defending my “son”. I say “son” because I really do have a son, a THREE year old for goodness sakes, too young to even walk anywhere with out me. And of course I’d never say or do that to him, even if that were a real situation here. I am still getting hate mail and I’m a complete know body. I’m just a mom, a loving mom, and proud wife, and now my name is all over the internet related to such hateful words and a complete lie. My heart breaks for those who felt that was the best way to “teach” me a lesson. http://www.todaystmj4.com/news/local/170789656.html

  • http://www.mittromney.com/issues skitty poop

    Love your blog!

  • Pingback: Bristol Palin, Bullying Victim? An Open Letter | John M. Becker()

  • Keelea C

    I love reading your blog and I thoroughly enjoy and support you as well as your mom and your family as a whole. Your father is probably one of the hardest working people in America and more young people should learn from his example. After reading your blog post I was curious what all the fuss was about so I began to read the comments that others have written on here. Most of them, not all, but most are disgusting, literally they make me sad to be an American. It is sad when this is how we think we can use technology, to demeane, to belittle, and to hurt people like they aren’t even human beings on the other side of the computer screen. It is shocking to me this point that we have come to in America when this kind of behavior is acceptable and I truly hope history does not repeat itself… words have been essential to brutal acts of injustice in this world like holocausts, genocides, slavery, Jim Crow segregation, terrorism, civil wars, and crusades in the name of Christ. Words are powerful. They hurt but they can also spark terrible atrocities. We need to think about this. We need to THINK about what we are saying and what we are typing and whether or not it really is useful in building someone else up or if it will only tear them down. So many of the comments are not building anyone up. It is one thing to disagree, it is completely acceptable and encouraged to have our own opinions and to share those opinions with one another… that is how we learn, that is how we grow as individuals. We gain knowledge and empathy when we disagree because we can learn so much about how others view a particular issue or the world at large. But saying things like “Bristol should put an asprin between her legs and shut the f*ck up”, how is that productive? How is that even an argument? How is that even worth typing? It’s amazing to me how we can teach our children the Golden Rule: Treat others the way you would like to be treated, but we can’t even seem to follow that rule ourselves as adults. It’s sad. We need to learn that the internet is not a place to attack people viciously with our words but a useful tool to build ourselves and others up in knowledge. If you really think Bristol is wrong and you disagree with her stance help to educate her on why she is wrong, don’t just cut her down and in the process cut yourself down! —Bristol you and your family have a courage and compassion that so many need and let critics say what they want, you aren’t doing something right if you aren’t being criticized! :)

  • Lily

    Where is all of tolerance and compassion these people have saying these terrible things? Bristol, I am so sorry you have to deal with these things, as a young conservative woman, I love reading your blog and read your mothers facebook page. You are both amazing women!

  • Curtis Wilson

    Bristol, I’m glad you have the confidence to know you’re OK, your Mom is OK, your family is OK and conservatives are OK. I fully support you and your family.

  • Susan

    I am sure Bristol knew exactly what to expect from the Far Left. By now, she is well aware how much hate they have stirring inside of them. Though I expect she was a little shocked to see that they would express murdereous hatred towards her child. Seriously. Who threatens a child?

  • Susan

    How was it homophobic? She simply does not believe in Gay Marriage (just like Obama did not support it up until just a few days ago…was he homophobic too?). And exactly where does she attack the Obama girls?

  • M Baker

    Using the word “hate” as a way of describing what a few posters wrote maybe true for the very small minority that threatened or tried to bully an ADULT in her blog. But calling a whole group of people as having hate inside, is a generality that shows a narrow mindedness incapable of thinking in complex thought processes.

  • Susan

    Apparently you did not read most of the 2,000 comments…they might not have contained explicit death threats but they were filled with hate, rage and vulgar language. Go back and read the comments that were left on her blog post and you’ll see what I am talking about.

  • HFK

    not supporting our equal rights because you view our relationships as somehow not valid compared to yours is homophobic, & yes, Obama IS (I don’t take his lip service seriously. I’m not a liberal, just a homo).