Hate in the Name of Love, Bullying in the Name of Tolerance

Well, I stirred up a hornet’s nest.  You know you’ve struck a nerve when even J-Woww tweets insults at you.  But the thing that most amazes me is how few people actually addressed the points I made in my recent blog post.  They were pretty simple.  Conservative women like my mom get grief because people think they can’t make decisions without their husband, but Barack Obama gets applauded for changing his mind on a huge issue after consulting his wife and young daughters. The double standard amazes me.

Oh, and in that post I also said generally kids do better with mother/father families – the kind of family I’d like to have for Tripp one day.

That’s it.  That’s pretty much the post.  (Yes, I made a little joke about Swiper the Fox, but anyone with a brain would know that wasn’t serious.)  You see arguments like that all the time in political magazines.  It’s not a big deal, and the people who make arguments like that don’t stir up much controversy.

But I’m not a pundit.  I’m just a mom made famous in one of the most intense and embarrassing ways possible – by having your teen pregnancy announced in the middle of a presidential campaign.  Oh, and I was a finalist on Dancing with the Stars, one of the most-watched shows on TV.  But all that means I’m more a part of pop culture, the culture that creates the television we watch and the music we listen to.  When real pundits write blog posts, they don’t pop up in Us Weekly… but mine do.

And I’m glad.  Why?  Because pop culture needs a little bit of debate.  It needs a little bit of disagreement.  Because not everyone who watches their shows or listens to their music thinks the way the directors, producers, and actors think.  When you’re in Hollywood you’ll meet some great people, some terrible people, and many somewhere in between.  In other words, they’re people just like everyone else.  But what you won’t find is any disagreement about things like gay marriage or abortion.  For those folks, there’s one way to think, and anyone who disagrees is stupid, hypocritical, hateful, or bigoted.  (Of course, I’m not the only one facing the wrath of the Hollywood-type sheeple – there are some celebrities bold enough to speak out, and they get attacked and ostracized too.)

If you read the almost 3,000 comments after my controversial post, or read the entertainment magazines, you’ll see some of the most terrible words against me, my mom, and my entire family.

You’ll see hate in the name of love. People claim they’re just trying to protect the right of two people to love each other – a right I don’t contest, by the way – and then spew the worst words imaginable at someone they disagree with.  If the agenda is love, why do you hate so intensely?

You’ll see bullying in the name of tolerance. Bullying is in the news lately, for good reason.  It’s horrifying to see stories of young people taking their own lives because they can’t see past the hate of others.  Around Hollywood, there’s lots of concern and great initiatives to try to encourage more kindness in this world.  Then why do I get so many messages telling me I should die?  Here’s a sampling that we didn’t put up on the blog:

 

And if you read the comments we let through, the only word that really sums them up is “bullying.”  They treat me as if I’m not human, as if they are somehow proving how great they are by (always anonymously, the cowards) tearing me apart with their words.

Here’s the thing.  In the articles and comments, I saw a lot of hate and a lot of bullying, but you know what I didn’t see much of?  Arguments.  In fact, this reminds me a little bit of the incident in an L.A. bar that went viral several months ago and will be shown in its entirety in my upcoming new reality tv show.  There, a guy started yelling at me and called my mom terrible names, but couldn’t tell me one decent reason why he was filled with so much hate.

Here’s a news flash, guys.  Your hate and bullying don’t work.  People see through it, and they don’t like to be pushed around.  You think it’s completely obvious that you’re right, but this younger generation is more pro-life than their parents, and voters just keep defending traditional marriage.  Why?  Why would we if you’ve been telling us what to think for all these years?

Because we think for ourselves.  And we’ll keep thinking for ourselves no matter what you call us.  So keep sending the hate, but realize that hate doesn’t win arguments.
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  • MaryInMinnesota

    I am speechless regarding the horrid comments some people have made towards you and your family. I am so sorry that all of you, especially you Bristol, have been attacked in this way.

    As an older adult (oh how I dread saying that, because my brain tells me I’m still 16 and a rebel), I have learned to analyze people, and I am very good at it. I see a pattern in the vicious comments made to you, and that is that probably 100% of those people are not Christians, have never read the Bible, and have been born with traits of violence. I firmly believe that we are what we are, because it is what we have taught ourselves to be.

    When I say my daily prayers, I tell God & Jesus that my faults are from what I’ve taught myself. I am the owner of my thoughts and my actions, and no one is responsible for those except myself. So these vicious people have taught themselves to be vicious, and it is they that will one day be judged themselves for their actions. Because I believe that these people are not Christians, and their souls are somewhat or heavily blacked due to their actions, they don’t care about anyone at the time of their viciousness. And since they more than likely do not believe in a Judgment Day, then it is we who should feel sorry for them. So I say, let’s give all of the vicious people some Love. Respond back to them with comments such as, I’ll see you at Heaven’s Gate, and there you can repeat your comments to me. I’ve notice that if I comment back to a rude person with a loving comment, they shrink, they stumble, they stutter, they try to find words to come back at me with, and they fail, and I just continue with the loving comments. It irritates them, and eventually they just go away. So let’s start a Shrink the vile people with Love day! I’m game for that! Stand Tall Bristol, you are who you are by your actions, and your actions show a pure loving heart! God Bless you and your family honey!

    • JustAMom

      MaryinMinnesota – You said “So I say, let’s give all of the vicious people some Love. Respond back to them with comments such as, I’ll see you at Heaven’s Gate, and there you can repeat your comments to me.”

      So thats responding to people with LOVE? Hmmm seems more like a threat to me. I don’t see anything loving in that statement at all. Care to explain?

  • http://www.truthwinsout.org John Becker

    Hey, Bristol. I’m so sorry that you felt bullied by some of the abusive comments that were left on your original post. They are indeed awful and inexcusable.

    That said, welcome to the world that lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered people live in every day. In fact, according to an exhaustive analysis of FBI hate crimes data by the Southern Poverty Law Center, LGBT people are at a greater risk of being targeted for a violent hate crime than literally any other minority group — more than twice as likely to be attacked as Jews, 2.6 times more likely than African-Americans, nearly 4.5 times as likely as Muslims, almost 14 times more likely than Latinos, and 41.5 times more likely than whites. In large swaths of our country, gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender youth are regularly teased and beaten up for who they are (or who their peers *think* they are), all the while living in a culture that shames them into silence. Many of them have homophobic parents or guardians, so they can’t even turn to the people who are supposed to love them unconditionally. LGBT youth are four to five times more likely to attempt suicide than their straight counterparts because of the malicious bullying and crushing hatred that they’re surrounded by every day. I should know: I attempted suicide myself at age 16.

    Do you know why that world of bullying, death threats, verbal and physical violence, and murder on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity exists? Do you know why my community, the LGBT community, faces such a grave threat of hate-motivated violence? Guess what – it’s because of religion-based bigotry. I work for an organization that fights the “ex-gay” myth (propagated, incidentally, by your own Assemblies of God church, among many others), which is the lie that it’s possible to change from gay to straight – to “pray away the gay” – through a mixture of prayer and so-called “reparative therapy.” Anti-gay pastors and religious profiteers across the country peddle this lie to scared, self-loathing teenagers and homophobic parents who’ve internalized the vicious anti-gay rhetoric they hear from the pulpit every Sunday. The claim that gay people can become straight is denounced by literally every single reputable medical and mental health organization in the country because it has no basis in research, doesn’t work, and can actually be dangerous to its victims, but that doesn’t stop the evil charlatans who cash the checks and make bank while holding out false hope for change, oblivious to (or utterly careless about?) the lives that they ruin in the process. And before you even *dare* to doubt that lives are ruined, I’d like to challenge you to walk in my shoes. We hear from people who bear permanent emotional and mental scars as a result of the “ex-gay” myth. Many who attempt suicide as a result of their guilt about their inevitable failure to “pray away the gay” bear physical scars as well. We also hear from many parents, siblings, and relatives of those who are no longer alive to tell their own stories – people who killed themselves trying to live a lie in order to accommodate the religion-based bigotry of people just like you.

    So while I am truly sorry to read about the abuse that’s been directed your way since your anti-Obama blog post, I strongly object to your attempt to cast yourself as any kind of a victim. To the contrary, you, your mother, and the putridly anti-gay Republican Party are the ones who are victimizing LGBT people. And spare me the line about how your anti-gay views are unassailable because they’re your firmly-held religious beliefs. It’s utterly hollow. Hate wrapped in the name of God is still hate.

    In closing, I must submit an important correction. You wrote about the “younger generation” in the context of abortion, then continued in the same sentence about how “voters just keep defending [so-called] traditional marriage.” If you meant to imply here that the “younger generation” — *our* generation – supports the continued exclusion of loving same-sex couples from full civil marriage equality, you are wrong. Seriously, no, *incredibly* wrong. In fact, you couldn’t be more wrong: repeated polling consistently proves that our generation OVERWHELMINGLY believes that EVERY American deserves the freedom to marry the person they love, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. You’re free to hold any views you like, no matter how bigoted they are. But you are *not* free to misrepresent the truth. And the truth is that when it comes to marriage equality, the jury is in – and you’ve lost. The anti-gay mistakes of our parents’ generation (anti-LGBT marriage discrimination amendments, laws that marginalize and persecute the LGBT community in the areas of employment, housing, etc.) will be fixed by our generation, if they aren’t rectified even sooner than that. Despite your own personal homophobia, ours is *not* a homophobic generation; your anti-gay views are already a minority view among your peers. The day will come, very soon, when the loving marriage (of six years and counting!) that my husband and I enjoy will be recognized from coast to coast, and our nation will be the better for it. My hope and prayer for you is that someday you’ll be able to stop your homophobic bullying, let go of your own bigotry, and come to embrace your lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender friends, family members, and fellow citizens as equal Americans and full human beings.

    • Me

      So speaking out against same sex marriage is homophobic bullying? Apparently you don’t like freedom of speech or freedom of religion.

      And homosexuality is NOT born that way, liar.

  • Sam

    First off, if you don’t want to receive death threats, don’t be an ignorant fucking bitch. Second, your opinions don’t matter, so hun, next time shut your fucking mouth. Third, do your fucking biology homework and learn that gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender individuals are humans. It’s not a “choice”, your born that way. If you want to start an argument on this there’s countless studies and scientist that back it up. The Bible has nothing to do with this because in American there’s a separation of church and state. Saying being gay is a choice is like saying because Bristol Palin is a teen mom obviously she didn’t receive any education. I mean you do talk and act like you haven’t passed the 8th grade so maybe that statement is true. Regardless, if you want tolerance and respect stop saying discriminatory things. Also, maybe you should, I don’t know, grow up a little. 50 years from now your gonna be sorry you said any of this, so you should just stop now.

  • thecreakyattic

    Bristol–
    I’m an old lady who loves your mom. I am so very proud of her for standing up for what she believes in. I had hoped to see President Palin in 2012 because she is a brilliant lady; I look at her as our country’s Margaret Thatcher. She is attacked mercilessly because she strikes the fear of God into the Left. I read one of your posts several days ago and told my son that maybe we might have two President Palins in the works. God bless you and your family…

  • HFK

    you think you should be spending your time limiting the rights of other people and to treat them like they and their families are not equal to you and yours because of prejudice, and you have the audacity to think that people objecting to such efforts & statements somehow victimizes you.
    Sure, some people made mean comments on your blog, and I don’t like that either. People make mean comments on every blog or youtube post- there’s always trolls out there. But people have legitimate objections to what you said, too, and you shouldn’t just ignore that.
    You think two fathers shouldn’t be able to get married because their partnership is, in your view, inferior to that of a man and a woman- while you yourself raise a child without a husband. That’s hypocritical in addition to being cruel.

    • Kait

      thank you for a educated answer. There are trolls out there that cannot seem to express themselves, so it makes the rest of us with a point disappear in the midst of the madness. Bullying her into submission is only going to make it worse.

    • Jean

      Death threats are more than mean comments. You better check the voters becaue everytime same sex marriage is put on the ballot it is voted down.

      Bristol has the right to her opinion just like you have the right to your opinion.

      Marriage is between one woman and one man only. Deal with it.

      • JustAMom

        Actually Jean we don’t have to “deal” with it. We will use the courts to fight for our freedoms that we are ENTITLED to – no different than you. In the meantime your side will lose more and more as your hatred continues to be exposed. What happened in NC just makes us that much stronger.

        • 56Survivor

          Justamom, very time the iss is put to a vote of the people, it fails. Thirty-two states have said “no”. The few states who do allow GM do so because of liberal activist judges or pressured legislatures. American people say “no” to gay marriage. It is what it is.

          BTW, less than 6% of voters consider this an important issue. It is a losing issue for you right now.

          • Pete Moss

            You do realize that elections are not the standard by which we grant or take away civil rights, don’t you?

            How many people voted in these elections you hold up as the measure of society’s opinion?

          • JustAMom

            56 – This is because its a generational issue. As older people die off our numbers will increase and it will be overturned and gay marriage will become a reality across the nation. Polling shows that the younger demographic are turning away from organized religion and one of the core reasons listed is discrimination of gay people. Christians who think they are doing gods will are actually turning more people away from the church. And like the many many countries that have already accepted gay marriage and didn’t’ fall into the ocean people here will begin to realize that they have been lied too and manipulated with fear by christians. It is what it is.

          • Sky

            56Survivor,

            It was an ‘liberal activist judge’ who got rid of segregation, too.

            The US is a democratic republic, meaning the majority cannot vote out the rights of the minority. Sometimes the courts are used to strike down unconstitutional laws such as the case of Brown v. Board of Education (separate but equal) or Loving v. Virginia (interracial marriage).

            Would you like to live in a country where interracial marriage is still illegal? Women cannot vote? White and blacks are ‘separate but equal?’

    • ceil

      the left can “feel” that it is over for Obama….and they are desperate, like the comments from HFK . All you can do is spew hate. Bristol is a bright light to many many people who agree with what she says. She and her mother are beacons of truthfulness that liberals are blind to see. They are so hate filled and threatened by the Palins it is actually quite amazing to see!!

      • R. Martin

        Nonsense.

  • Demetrius Cavendish

    People lampoon you because your opinions are ridiculous. It’s easy to cry “bullying” instead of issuing an argument, but it is also incredibly cowardly, especially when plenty of thinking people have put forth arguments against your position. Here, I will:

    1. There is no reason to believe that something is right simply because something it’s traditional. The question is, are there SECULAR arguments against gay marriage that stands independent of Christian belief? I would contend that there are none, and therefor anti-gay legislation is illegal.

    2. Even if gay people don’t bring up great kids (which I know that they are capable of doing from experience), that doesn’t have anything to do with whether they can get married or not.

    3. According to the president, his decision came about after THINKING about the principle with respect to his daughters and talking to college Republicans (I’m sure that isn’t the full story, but it’s the condensed campaign version). He’s basing policy off of his own experience of gay people, not what his daughters want. So, your blog post was just wrong on that point.

  • Sam

    I still think you are being hypocritical on criticizing Obama for supporting equal marriage for gay and lesbian couples when you aren’t exactly in the place to be criticizing in the first place. It is alright that you have your beliefs and I don’t mind what you have to say, but if you aren’t living by example, then your criticism don’t hold much weight, if any. I don’t condone what hateful words have said to you but maybe you should learn not to hit the hornet’s nest so hard when it comes to people’s rights.

    Lastly, I want to comment on your quote.

    “…and voters just keep defending traditional marriage.”

    We’ll see about that. There is a difference between “defending traditional marriage” and legalizing marriage for gay couples. All 30 states except Maine, California, and Hawaii, voted on defining marriage. The other three states I listed voted on the issue of gay marriage or gave the legislature the right to keep marriage as one man and one woman. California and Maine were close so it will be interesting to see if time has played well for gay rights supporters in Maine and possibly Washington and Maryland. Hawaii can technically allow marriage between gay couples because of how the 1998 amendment was worded.

  • Brian

    http://www.livescience.com/17913-advantages-gay-parents.html
    http://progressive.org/mpmonifa070610.html
    http://articles.cnn.com/2010-06-24/opinion/chrisler.gay.parents_1_adoptions-by-gay-people-anti-gay-gay-pride?_s=PM:OPINION

    Study after study reports that there is no difference in quality or results of children when raised by a same sex couple or a opposite sex couple.

    around 2900 words, a few sentences describing how his daughters felt on this topic. Unfair to surmise that he based his evolution of opinion on his daughters opinions.
    Unfair to imply that he didn’t make his own mind up, based on a number of reasons, one including his observations of how future generations will view same-sex couples.

  • Maria Dorsey

    Bristol, I would love to speak to your first “point.”

    You wrote: “Conservative women like my mom get grief because people think they can’t make decisions without their husband, but Barack Obama gets applauded for changing his mind on a huge issue after consulting his wife and young daughters. The double standard amazes me.”

    This is not a double standard. Let’s look at the reason “conservative women like {your} mom” are questioned about listening to their husbands. The problem lies in how your mother has stated she views Christianity and the Bible. Both your mother and Michelle Bachmann have professed publically to be “Bible-Believing Christians.”

    I know what this indicates, as do the reporters asking them these questions about their husbands. Your mother and Bachmann are Biblical Literalist; meaning they believe the Bible is delivered directly from God.

    It is a conundrum for them. If they really believe what they say they believe, being in charge of anything (even their households) is problematic because of Ephesians 5:22 (“women submit to your husbands”). That is why journalist are asking the question.

    If your mother denies that verse, many will accept that she can lead politically. But if your mother denies that verse, many will know that she is not, in fact, a Bible-Believing Christian. Some other type of Christian, maybe, but not “literally Bible-believing.” Those people will judge her harshly for it.

    Your mother and Bachmann (and maybe others) are stuck on the horns of a dilemma.

    I personally do not know of any female democrat politician that is a Biblical Literalist. They can reap the understanding of the “symbolic, metaphorical narrative” of the Bible (a good thing), and guidance from God, without being burdened with the exacting rules of a document written by old men in a dusty place far, far away.

    In general, the people on this planet are influenced by others in their life. Obama was influenced by his children. It happens. You and I make decisions every day with this influence; his just happen to be bigger decisions than yours or mine.

    But he is not legalistically or moralistically bound by a dedication to a dusty old manuscript to allow all decisions to be sanctioned by his spouse like a Biblical Literalist would be.

    (Even as a Biblical Literalist he would not have the same problem as the women politicians, simply by the nature of his gender. I know, this double standard is irritating to me too. That’s why I stopped being a Literalist. The Bible taken literally doesn’t make sense to modern society…it barely made sense to their society 2000 years ago.)

    Your comparison of your mother and Obama’s influence is not a proper comparison. Do you understand now? Do you have any questions? Please ask if you do.

  • Aggelos

    “In fact, this reminds me a little bit of the incident in an L.A. bar that went viral several months ago and will be shown in its entirety in my upcoming new reality tv show.”
    So this is what all this is about? To promote a lame, stupid reality show?
    You just said “Oh, and I was a finalist on Dancing with the Stars, one of the most-watched shows on TV.”
    You know that just by saying that in such a sarcastic way you simply make us think the worst of you, right?
    You should first ask yourself WHY all this people are telling you to kill yourself and then start crying because 3000 people are telling you to die.
    Its because of the way you promote yourself. As an unmarried teen mom who cant miss an opportunity to get a hold on a bunch of money. Wake up. Think of what you said and done, then criticize the people around you. You are no better than them. But you should know, some people understand what you are trying to do. Promote yourself as the concervative, yet slutty daughter of a failed politician just to promote a stupid book or a kardashian-like reality show. Get over yourself. You are nothing.


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