Hate in the Name of Love, Bullying in the Name of Tolerance

Well, I stirred up a hornet’s nest.  You know you’ve struck a nerve when even J-Woww tweets insults at you.  But the thing that most amazes me is how few people actually addressed the points I made in my recent blog post.  They were pretty simple.  Conservative women like my mom get grief because people think they can’t make decisions without their husband, but Barack Obama gets applauded for changing his mind on a huge issue after consulting his wife and young daughters. The double standard amazes me.

Oh, and in that post I also said generally kids do better with mother/father families – the kind of family I’d like to have for Tripp one day.

That’s it.  That’s pretty much the post.  (Yes, I made a little joke about Swiper the Fox, but anyone with a brain would know that wasn’t serious.)  You see arguments like that all the time in political magazines.  It’s not a big deal, and the people who make arguments like that don’t stir up much controversy.

But I’m not a pundit.  I’m just a mom made famous in one of the most intense and embarrassing ways possible – by having your teen pregnancy announced in the middle of a presidential campaign.  Oh, and I was a finalist on Dancing with the Stars, one of the most-watched shows on TV.  But all that means I’m more a part of pop culture, the culture that creates the television we watch and the music we listen to.  When real pundits write blog posts, they don’t pop up in Us Weekly… but mine do.

And I’m glad.  Why?  Because pop culture needs a little bit of debate.  It needs a little bit of disagreement.  Because not everyone who watches their shows or listens to their music thinks the way the directors, producers, and actors think.  When you’re in Hollywood you’ll meet some great people, some terrible people, and many somewhere in between.  In other words, they’re people just like everyone else.  But what you won’t find is any disagreement about things like gay marriage or abortion.  For those folks, there’s one way to think, and anyone who disagrees is stupid, hypocritical, hateful, or bigoted.  (Of course, I’m not the only one facing the wrath of the Hollywood-type sheeple – there are some celebrities bold enough to speak out, and they get attacked and ostracized too.)

If you read the almost 3,000 comments after my controversial post, or read the entertainment magazines, you’ll see some of the most terrible words against me, my mom, and my entire family.

You’ll see hate in the name of love. People claim they’re just trying to protect the right of two people to love each other – a right I don’t contest, by the way – and then spew the worst words imaginable at someone they disagree with.  If the agenda is love, why do you hate so intensely?

You’ll see bullying in the name of tolerance. Bullying is in the news lately, for good reason.  It’s horrifying to see stories of young people taking their own lives because they can’t see past the hate of others.  Around Hollywood, there’s lots of concern and great initiatives to try to encourage more kindness in this world.  Then why do I get so many messages telling me I should die?  Here’s a sampling that we didn’t put up on the blog:


And if you read the comments we let through, the only word that really sums them up is “bullying.”  They treat me as if I’m not human, as if they are somehow proving how great they are by (always anonymously, the cowards) tearing me apart with their words.

Here’s the thing.  In the articles and comments, I saw a lot of hate and a lot of bullying, but you know what I didn’t see much of?  Arguments.  In fact, this reminds me a little bit of the incident in an L.A. bar that went viral several months ago and will be shown in its entirety in my upcoming new reality tv show.  There, a guy started yelling at me and called my mom terrible names, but couldn’t tell me one decent reason why he was filled with so much hate.

Here’s a news flash, guys.  Your hate and bullying don’t work.  People see through it, and they don’t like to be pushed around.  You think it’s completely obvious that you’re right, but this younger generation is more pro-life than their parents, and voters just keep defending traditional marriage.  Why?  Why would we if you’ve been telling us what to think for all these years?

Because we think for ourselves.  And we’ll keep thinking for ourselves no matter what you call us.  So keep sending the hate, but realize that hate doesn’t win arguments.
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  • Aggelos

    By the way, no. You shouldnt kill yourself. People like yourself make others feel smart. Thats a plus for humanity.

  • C

    I would like to know one crucial thing – where exactly do you get your credible information that children do better when they are raised by a mother/father family? Do you have ACTUAL, hard proof that kids with gay parents turn out any differently from kids with straight parents? Where is the so called proof that gives you the right to say that these children are being raised better? You can’t just walk out here and say “oh generally kids are raised better when they have both a mom and a dad” with no valuable proof to back up your claim. If you could actually show people some hard evidence to back up this ridiculous notion of yours than maybe people would take you somewhat seriously.

    But the fact of the matter is Bristol, that you can’t prove that. You can’t go around taking surveys of all children in the world with gay parents to find out if they “were raised better” then all the straight raised babies in the world. You were raised by a mother and a father and YOU got yourself pregnant in your early teens. Which to you is apparently okay because you have a vagina and your partner has a penis, so your child is totally going to turn out better than oh, let’s say, two loving hard working men who contribute to society who love each other and have been together for 10+ years and want to start a family. Oh and unlike you, Gay people can’t get pregnant from being irresponsible and not using birth control ;) they actually have to spend time, money and a lot of emotions to have children not to mention most of them save babies through adoption. I hope one day you stop being so blind and ignorant, really I do, for your own sake Bristol. So to sum things up in the politest, most honest way I possibly can muster: “Please wake the fuck up or shut the fuck up.”

    • Me

      So you’re one of those idiots who denies that gender differences exist.

      No surprise that you hate freedom of speech and freedom of religion.

      Marxists like you tend to.

  • Ted Edwards

    Bristol – there’s been a 20% swing in American opinion on gay marriage since 2004, and far more than that on civil unions and gay rights issues generally. In other words, you’re losing, and you’re being a dick about it.

    Part of what inspires such vitriol in liberals when it comes to you and your family is that none of you have accomplished anything, and you’re being condescending dicks to those who have. If you can do something with your life besides trading on the fact that you’re the daughter of a politician your tone towards people like Obamam might be justified. Until then – and I say this sincerely – please try and speak to people more respectfully, and with a greater sense of awareness about your lack of credibility.

    • 56Survivor

      Ted Edwards, your post is a joke. Every time gay marriage is put on the ballot, it fails. Thirty-two states have said no to the issue. The handful of states that allow it, do so because of liberal activist judges or highly pressured legislatures.
      Your second paragraph is so incoherent that the only part of it I feel needs addressing is when you tell a 21 year old young mom to “speak more respectfully to people”. YOU sir, have no credibility. “Dick” is not respectful.

  • MsDanielle

    So, Bristol, tell me if I’m correct: I am supposed to believe that children who were raised in a mother-father household have happier childhoods and turn out better than children raised by two parents of the same gender. Right? Well, I guess you could also say that children physically, emotionally, and/or sexually abused in a mother-father home are better off than they would be if being raised by a loving, nurturing same-sex couple. Who can honestly say that that’s true? What everyone needs to realize is this– children don’t have any more or less of a ‘better’ childhood based on what their household is comprised of. I’ve seen kids from same sex families turn out better and have a happier childhood than kids from a mother-father home, and vise versa. What you have to try to understand is that it doesn’t matter what gender or orientation the parents are. What matters is the character of the people raising the child, regardless of sexual orientation. And wouldn’t you know it: gays and lesbians are no different than straight people in any area of life, including parenting. Open your eyes and see that there is so much more to the world than what you perceive. And look; I’m a bleeding-heart liberal and I expressed my point to you without wishing death upon you, your mother, or your child, and without insulting anyone’s personal beliefs.

  • Some Guy In Ireland

    As an Outsider to the US, I’ve watched all the different Attacks from both sides and I have to say this:
    Christians spend more time thinking about Gay sex then gays do.
    Same Sex Marriage is not about Religion, but rather the Legal aspects, such as Property and Adoption Rights.
    Besides, It’s no longer a Religious thing anyway, but a Social Contact.

  • R. Martin

    I am no fan of any of the adult Palins but those offensive comments are ridiculous. Bristol, I don’t want you to shut up. As a matter of fact, I think the more you speak, the more it advances my opposing ideals of acceptance. I believe in your right to express yourself. Freedom of speech only really means something when you can fight for that right in the face of speech that truly offends you. I really wish you had approached this topic with equal disgust for both the left and right. The right is cold, cruel, and mean in debates on the Internet. I would not expect you to be impartial on this topic since you are never impartial. You are ALWAYS partisan. I am surprised you do not blame all this on President Obama. I am assuming that post is in production.

  • Eileen

    You want to talk about death threats Bristol? Why don’t you talk to your mom about those crosshairs?

  • Bonny Batman

    It is utterly amazing to me — HOW and WHY — people think they have the right to get into anyone else’s life, and life decisions. Until you have walked a mile in an Indian’s moccocins you have no right to citicize the Indian. So where do all these self absorbed, self righteous, misguided, nasty people get the guts to hide behind writings, and tell other people to die. Is that suppose to be a look at their higher intelligence? The same people who would vet Sarah Palin to death, – But not ask for the Presidents records? — Something wrong here!! Why should we be subject to lies, hate, and misinformation on one hand, and put up with insults, stupidty and disception on the other hand. Enough with these low lifes. Thank You Bristol for your input, information, and decent truthful way of presenting material.

    • Jon

      “It is utterly amazing to me — HOW and WHY — people think they have the right to get into anyone else’s life, and life decisions.”

      Ha, yeah, you know, like when people think they have the right to get between two people of the same sex who love one another and wish to get married. Utterly amazing.

  • adrian

    People talk about preserving the sanctity of marriage however I haven’t seen a boycott of CBS for airing The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. CBS took marriage and turned it into a game show and people are fine with it. If marriage has already been reduced to a tv game show manipulated by network producers, is there really any sanctity to protect?

  • http://hardofthinking.wordpress.com Derek

    The problem is that you didn’t actually make any coherent arguments.

    “Conservative women like my mom get grief because people think they can’t make decisions without their husband, but Barack Obama gets applauded for changing his mind on a huge issue after consulting his wife and young daughters. The double standard amazes me.”
    It’s not a double standard it’s a different standard. If you literally follow the bible (as conservative women often claim to do) a woman can’t make decisions without their husband. Obama isn’t a biblical literalist and so the standard for him is different.

    “also said generally kids do better with mother/father families”
    This was a claim without evidence. In fact the gender of the parents makes little difference to a kid’s success.

    That’s it. That’s pretty much your entire post, entirely wrong. However none of that makes the comments made towards you appropriate. Unfortunately, if you post things online there will be haters no matter what you say or who you are.

    • Ryan

      A double standard refers to two people with a different background doing the same thing and receiving different results, one positive and one negative. This is what she illustrated in her statement. The bible does not have anything to do with it. Also, because you start out a statement with “In fact” does not make it a fact. You also did not produce any support for your opinion.