Hate in the Name of Love, Bullying in the Name of Tolerance

Well, I stirred up a hornet’s nest.  You know you’ve struck a nerve when even J-Woww tweets insults at you.  But the thing that most amazes me is how few people actually addressed the points I made in my recent blog post.  They were pretty simple.  Conservative women like my mom get grief because people think they can’t make decisions without their husband, but Barack Obama gets applauded for changing his mind on a huge issue after consulting his wife and young daughters. The double standard amazes me.

Oh, and in that post I also said generally kids do better with mother/father families – the kind of family I’d like to have for Tripp one day.

That’s it.  That’s pretty much the post.  (Yes, I made a little joke about Swiper the Fox, but anyone with a brain would know that wasn’t serious.)  You see arguments like that all the time in political magazines.  It’s not a big deal, and the people who make arguments like that don’t stir up much controversy.

But I’m not a pundit.  I’m just a mom made famous in one of the most intense and embarrassing ways possible – by having your teen pregnancy announced in the middle of a presidential campaign.  Oh, and I was a finalist on Dancing with the Stars, one of the most-watched shows on TV.  But all that means I’m more a part of pop culture, the culture that creates the television we watch and the music we listen to.  When real pundits write blog posts, they don’t pop up in Us Weekly… but mine do.

And I’m glad.  Why?  Because pop culture needs a little bit of debate.  It needs a little bit of disagreement.  Because not everyone who watches their shows or listens to their music thinks the way the directors, producers, and actors think.  When you’re in Hollywood you’ll meet some great people, some terrible people, and many somewhere in between.  In other words, they’re people just like everyone else.  But what you won’t find is any disagreement about things like gay marriage or abortion.  For those folks, there’s one way to think, and anyone who disagrees is stupid, hypocritical, hateful, or bigoted.  (Of course, I’m not the only one facing the wrath of the Hollywood-type sheeple – there are some celebrities bold enough to speak out, and they get attacked and ostracized too.)

If you read the almost 3,000 comments after my controversial post, or read the entertainment magazines, you’ll see some of the most terrible words against me, my mom, and my entire family.

You’ll see hate in the name of love. People claim they’re just trying to protect the right of two people to love each other – a right I don’t contest, by the way – and then spew the worst words imaginable at someone they disagree with.  If the agenda is love, why do you hate so intensely?

You’ll see bullying in the name of tolerance. Bullying is in the news lately, for good reason.  It’s horrifying to see stories of young people taking their own lives because they can’t see past the hate of others.  Around Hollywood, there’s lots of concern and great initiatives to try to encourage more kindness in this world.  Then why do I get so many messages telling me I should die?  Here’s a sampling that we didn’t put up on the blog:


And if you read the comments we let through, the only word that really sums them up is “bullying.”  They treat me as if I’m not human, as if they are somehow proving how great they are by (always anonymously, the cowards) tearing me apart with their words.

Here’s the thing.  In the articles and comments, I saw a lot of hate and a lot of bullying, but you know what I didn’t see much of?  Arguments.  In fact, this reminds me a little bit of the incident in an L.A. bar that went viral several months ago and will be shown in its entirety in my upcoming new reality tv show.  There, a guy started yelling at me and called my mom terrible names, but couldn’t tell me one decent reason why he was filled with so much hate.

Here’s a news flash, guys.  Your hate and bullying don’t work.  People see through it, and they don’t like to be pushed around.  You think it’s completely obvious that you’re right, but this younger generation is more pro-life than their parents, and voters just keep defending traditional marriage.  Why?  Why would we if you’ve been telling us what to think for all these years?

Because we think for ourselves.  And we’ll keep thinking for ourselves no matter what you call us.  So keep sending the hate, but realize that hate doesn’t win arguments.
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  • Ryan

    The reality of the situation is that the human species is the only one on the planet that goes against the laws of nature and then claims that it is not abnormal and should be treated with respect and sensitivity. There is no way for a same sex couple to reproduce. This is a fact and the same principal that marriage and relationships were (and are) built upon. Reproduction is at the core of any true husband-wife relationship. This is not someone being intolerant, rather it is someone acknowledging human nature. There is no reason in the world for ANYONE to force opinions or spew hate and profanity in any situation. These people would never speak this same hate if it weren’t for the internet shield that they sit in front of far more frequently then they should.

    • K

      Right on, Ryan! Your logic and understanding of science is impeccable! Just a little quibble, ~ 10% of all species are homos. But you are absolutely correct that no species besides humans go against the laws of nature and then demands respect and sensitivity for their aberrant “lifestyle”. You never hear the homo dogs or turtles or rabbits or wombats, etc crying out for equal rights! They follow the laws of nature and Jesus and keep their traps shut!
      All of those post menopausal married women and infertile couples should be called out and shamed for not having true husband-wife relationships! States are right to push for bans on childless marriages since they defy the laws of nature! Hopefully, we will elect Sarah Palin president someday and she can spearhead a federal ban on all marriages that aren’t true husband-wife relationships as they threaten the very foundation of traditional marriage and family in this country!

      • Ryan

        There are always going to be exceptions to the rule. No, nothing should be held against those unfortunate couples that cannot have children, but to compare them to post menopausal women and infertile couples is ridiculous. There is NO WAY, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES that a homosexual couple can produce offspring. This means that homosexuality is merely an anomaly and to treat it as a normal part of society is ignorant. It is really no different then pedofelia in the sense that it is a sexual deviation from the norm ( a perversion, if you will). The only difference is that a large group of bleeding hearts in our society have decided to accept homosexuality as a part of life. If we continue down this path, then pedofelia will be the new homosexuality in less then a decade. Do we really want do head down that road?

        • K

          You are right again! I stand corrected. Comparing couples who cannot have children to post menopausal (married) women and infertile couples is ridiculous! Just because post menopausal women and infertile people cannot have children is no reason to lump them in with those unfortunates that cannot have children! I feel so silly now that you have pointed out that homosexuals cannot produce offspring UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES unlike couples who are infertile or who marry after their child bearing years! And of course, since only 10% of humans are gay I should have realized that they represent an anomaly that should never be treated as a normal part of society, just like southpaws, since only 10% of humans (not sure what percentage of other species are lefties, since they won’t tell us) are left-handed! I shudder to think of how many left-handed humans have been accepted in society as though they are normal! When will our elected officials address this abomination and pass laws that ban southpaws from marrying!?! I naively thought, until reading your brilliant comment, that the difference between homosexuality and pedophilia was that adults (homo or hetro) are able to consent to sexual relationships in a way that children (or animals) are not. I now feel like such an ignorant, bleeding heart liberal! You have shown me the light! I absolutely DO NOT want pedophilia to be the new homosexuality in the next ten years! Where can I sign up to prevent this from happening!?!

          • K

            Am totally wigging out…..just found out that Barack Hussein Obama is left-handed!!! Is he also gay!?! We. Are. Doomed.

  • John

    Dear Bristol

    I apologize for all the hate directed towards you.

    I am gay and a liberal and I am dissappointed in “my own”. I never knew we were capable of so much hate. I don’t know what to say. Hard to believe from all the comments, but we are not all like that.

    • ThePhDScientist

      Dear John

      Don’t be sorry for Bristol. I agree that some of this hate is despicable. But so is her blatant use of misleading information to put forth a bigoted agenda. She says children do better in a home of one mother and one father – not true. American Psychological Association finds children do better in a two parent household regardless of the sex of those parents. Perhaps this is why people think she’s a bit FOS. Not to mention she is the one who got pregnant as an unwed teenager – is this traditional family values?

      • Me

        Apparently you’re not a real scientist since gender differences among men and women exist and it makes an impact on raising children.

    • Jan

      John, My gay daughter expressed the same feelings about all the hate towards the Palin’s since 2008. She even noticed how gay bloggers and posters really attack all the Palin children. Bristol blogged her opinion. She did personally attack anyone.

    • J Stratford

      HELL NO!

      If Bully Brilstol thinks that she can muzzle opinions against her bullying by name-calling her victims, then she has one thing coming. We are not dumb.

      When a victim fights back the bully, the bully can not then cry and say that me fighting back is bullying. But then again most bullies are insecure, so her behavior fits a bully’s profile.

      If she thinks gays should abide by the old testament, then she got off light because all she had were words. According to the old testament, she should be stoned for being, according to the bible, a harlot.

  • Cheryl

    Keep writing, Bristol!!! You’re awesome!!! When I’m up against haters, I remember they hated Jesus first!!!!

    • April

      So you’re glad they hated jesus more than you? You know your argument makes you sound like you have no idea what you’re talking about.

    • Sandy

      Most people don’t hate Jesus, they simply don’t put their faith in a fictional character. And if you’re basing your arguments on whether or not your opponents share the same beliefs as you, you’re going backwards before you start. But that said, I’m sure many of Bristol’s ‘haters’ are Christian (or simply religious, because you know, there are other kinds) and don’t throw Jesus under the bus to defend their backwards thinking.

  • sue freivald

    Bristol, I admire your courage and patient perseverance! Keep on keeping on — your parents must be proud of you, and as a mom and grandmother, I would be most proud if you were my child. You speak for many of us and you speak well. It’s difficult sometimes to comprehend how people who share a different life style/beliefs can so purposely misquote, misunderstand, misapprehend what you clearly say. Not many would be able to stand tall as you do and return love for hate, prayer for vituperation, intelligent discourse for irrational diatribe. You are awesome.

  • kathleen

    You are an idiot with zero business giving romantic advice.

  • April

    You say the younger generation is more pro life than the older gen. Who died and made you spokesperson? Please don’t speak for us. When you do we all look bad. You can’t say a single thing that doesn’t make you look hypocritical. Seriously, children need a father figure? Did you stop to think about your own situation before saying these things? Did you think there wouldn’t be some kind of negative reaction? And it wasn’t just the gay community you insulted but every person who grew up without a father. Like maybe we’re all going to turn out killers, wanted by the police, have children at 16, etc. I’ve done none of those and I don’t plan to start now. So on behalf of everybody you insulted I just want you to know that your argument is invalid. Oh by the way, calling a guy in a bar a “faggot” is an insult. Exactly what you’re crying to everybody about in this post. It must be okay though since it was you doing the insulting. You lead a double standard life.

  • square

    Wow really..”Oh, and in that post I also said generally kids do better with mother/father families – the kind of family I’d like to have for Tripp one day”
    1) you name your kid tripp…expect him to get tormented in life for that one
    2) why did you not wait to have the family before having the children. Welcome to being another degraded statistic for young girls getting knocked up before being able to drink. Congrats on that one…if it wasn’t for your status in life you’d be a welfare mom like the rest.

    Learn from your mother sweetie, stay out of politics. Neither one of you have the head/brains for it. Stick to your reality trash shows and leave the real world to the rest of us.

  • Katrina

    You’re right. No-one should receive the type of comments you received. People don’t realize that when they make comments like that, they only do two things. 1. They make themselves look ridiculous and 2. They make their cause look ridiculous. You had some great ideas in your bog the other day. Women running for office, regardless of the party lines, should be judged solely on their views, and what they would accomplish. I feel that should have been discussed a little more, as it could help usher in more equality for women in a political office. And equality for women is something we can all agree on. However, your views on same sex marriage are incorrect. You are entitled to your own opinion (that’s what’s great about America). But, studies have shown children in same sex marriage fare no worse that children in a home that has both mother and father. In fact, gay and lesbian couples tend to plan children and not have a surprise bundle of joy. I wish you luck on your search for a good father to your child. My deepest wish is to meet someone one day who will love my daughter and help raise her to have good morals and a strong sense of self worth. She needs more that a Christmas dad in her life, and I’m sure you have the same desires.

  • Kathleen

    All I can say is, too many people doth protest too much at what Bristol said. If it was all so settled as some claim here, why bother to come and give Bristol grief about her views? Better to just leave her alone to “wither on the vine.” Instead, one gets the feeling that her comments hit too close to home.
    If she’s just a stupid ignorant Christianist, and her views are on the losing end, why all the fuss?

  • Jan

    Keep speaking up, Bristol. You have the right to an opinion and most of America agrees with you.