Hate in the Name of Love, Bullying in the Name of Tolerance

Well, I stirred up a hornet’s nest.  You know you’ve struck a nerve when even J-Woww tweets insults at you.  But the thing that most amazes me is how few people actually addressed the points I made in my recent blog post.  They were pretty simple.  Conservative women like my mom get grief because people think they can’t make decisions without their husband, but Barack Obama gets applauded for changing his mind on a huge issue after consulting his wife and young daughters. The double standard amazes me.

Oh, and in that post I also said generally kids do better with mother/father families – the kind of family I’d like to have for Tripp one day.

That’s it.  That’s pretty much the post.  (Yes, I made a little joke about Swiper the Fox, but anyone with a brain would know that wasn’t serious.)  You see arguments like that all the time in political magazines.  It’s not a big deal, and the people who make arguments like that don’t stir up much controversy.

But I’m not a pundit.  I’m just a mom made famous in one of the most intense and embarrassing ways possible – by having your teen pregnancy announced in the middle of a presidential campaign.  Oh, and I was a finalist on Dancing with the Stars, one of the most-watched shows on TV.  But all that means I’m more a part of pop culture, the culture that creates the television we watch and the music we listen to.  When real pundits write blog posts, they don’t pop up in Us Weekly… but mine do.

And I’m glad.  Why?  Because pop culture needs a little bit of debate.  It needs a little bit of disagreement.  Because not everyone who watches their shows or listens to their music thinks the way the directors, producers, and actors think.  When you’re in Hollywood you’ll meet some great people, some terrible people, and many somewhere in between.  In other words, they’re people just like everyone else.  But what you won’t find is any disagreement about things like gay marriage or abortion.  For those folks, there’s one way to think, and anyone who disagrees is stupid, hypocritical, hateful, or bigoted.  (Of course, I’m not the only one facing the wrath of the Hollywood-type sheeple – there are some celebrities bold enough to speak out, and they get attacked and ostracized too.)

If you read the almost 3,000 comments after my controversial post, or read the entertainment magazines, you’ll see some of the most terrible words against me, my mom, and my entire family.

You’ll see hate in the name of love. People claim they’re just trying to protect the right of two people to love each other – a right I don’t contest, by the way – and then spew the worst words imaginable at someone they disagree with.  If the agenda is love, why do you hate so intensely?

You’ll see bullying in the name of tolerance. Bullying is in the news lately, for good reason.  It’s horrifying to see stories of young people taking their own lives because they can’t see past the hate of others.  Around Hollywood, there’s lots of concern and great initiatives to try to encourage more kindness in this world.  Then why do I get so many messages telling me I should die?  Here’s a sampling that we didn’t put up on the blog:


And if you read the comments we let through, the only word that really sums them up is “bullying.”  They treat me as if I’m not human, as if they are somehow proving how great they are by (always anonymously, the cowards) tearing me apart with their words.

Here’s the thing.  In the articles and comments, I saw a lot of hate and a lot of bullying, but you know what I didn’t see much of?  Arguments.  In fact, this reminds me a little bit of the incident in an L.A. bar that went viral several months ago and will be shown in its entirety in my upcoming new reality tv show.  There, a guy started yelling at me and called my mom terrible names, but couldn’t tell me one decent reason why he was filled with so much hate.

Here’s a news flash, guys.  Your hate and bullying don’t work.  People see through it, and they don’t like to be pushed around.  You think it’s completely obvious that you’re right, but this younger generation is more pro-life than their parents, and voters just keep defending traditional marriage.  Why?  Why would we if you’ve been telling us what to think for all these years?

Because we think for ourselves.  And we’ll keep thinking for ourselves no matter what you call us.  So keep sending the hate, but realize that hate doesn’t win arguments.
You might also enjoy:

Connect with me further by:

  • You_are_wrong_factualy_and_morally

    “Oh, and in that post I also said generally kids do better with mother/father families”

    Oh, you also said that did you? Was it just a “by the way” sort of thing? Not a big deal, maybe?

    That is a hateful lie and I don’t know how you can’t see that. First of all, of course, it’s not true. Every peer reviewed study on the issue has come to the opposite conclusion you’ve presented here. The only studies that ignorant (or purposely misleading) anti-gay advocates cite to defend this statement are ones where “mother/father families” are compared to single parent homes; no mutli-parent homosexual households were considered. Having two parents is undeniably better than having one, but every study on the topic has concluded that it doesn’t matter what gender those two parents are. If your concern were really how the kids do better, then you should should advocate making single parent homes illegal before you get too deep into advocating preventing homosexual couples from adopting.

    What kind of reaction to you expect when you post hateful lies about an entire several dozen million strong group of people? Some people (a small minority, in fact) posted angry hateful responses right back at you; that’s how life goes hate begets only more hate. You’re the one with the platform, you’re the one with the greater responsibility to end that cycle of hate, but instead you’ve decided to further demonize those you hate and play the victim.

    • Me

      So it’s hate to say that children would be better off with mommy and daddy and that marriage is between a man and a woman? You really need to get a thicker skin and grow up.

      Excuse me if children shouldn’t be living in households where the parents are sexual deviants.

  • Sarah

    You said you couldn’t find any arguments or “decent reasons” people were giving in their responses. While I do not support the name-calling and death threats in some comments AT ALL, I saw plenty of reasonable arguments citing civil rights, equality, and logic in many other comments.

    Meanwhile, can you or your supporters cite a SINGLE reason outside of your religious beliefs, something in the Bible or what you think God wants, for why gay people should not be given equal rights? Because until you can give a “decent reason” without religion, that’s all this boils down to. In a country founded on a vital belief in the separation of church and state, the only ones left standing against equal rights for everyone are the fanatics that think their interpretation of Christianity and God should be made law for everyone else.

    • Me

      And what makes you the determiner of civil rights? And what is equality based on?

      And marriage is NOT a right in this country. There’s also NO Separation of Church and State in the Constitution. You should read it up sometime.

      • Sarah

        What kind of questions are those? Clearly, I am not the determiner of civil rights…I don’t have to be, because many people (though sadly, not you) have a pretty well-defined idea of what civil right are already. In fact, the US Supreme Court agreed on them in 1958 during the Virginia v. Loving case with an interracial couple: The court ruled that Virginia violated both the Due Process Clause and the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment. And here’s the kicker! Look at what the Supreme Court said in their decision: “Marriage is one of the “basic civil rights of man.” You should read up on it sometime.

        I’m not even going to bother responding to your question on equality. I’m so sorry that you don’t have a basic understanding of that word and its meaning, but possibly that’s where you’re problem lies. I’m assuming by asking what it is “based on” you’re trying to argue that liberals/gay right advocates have some sort of convoluted definition of it? As if their definition of equality–equal rights for all men and women as long as they don’t harm the happiness and lives of others–is…wrong? What’s yours?

        Also, you must have forgotten that I asked for ONE argument against gay marriage that is not based in your own personal belief system. I’m waiting.

  • David


    I am so sorry you have had to endure the hate you have endured at your young age. God bless you for your courage, and your willingness to stand up for your beliefs. It’s really sad that more of our fellow citizens who have a different belief system are unable to just expres their disagreement with you, without spewing hatred and venom.
    We all make mistakes, and it’s not hypocritical to make a mistake and then advocate not doing what you’ve done before others, so that hopefully they will choose a different path. If they don’t, then so be it, that’s their choice.
    Again, may God bless you!


  • auh

    Bristol do not take seriously the insults and vulgarities of the haters here. The fact that they visit and read your blog posts sends a different message. You had a baby when you were 17 so what? At least you did not abort and your family who loves you supported you all the way and that’s what matters. Only people who are sinless can throw stones at someone – but there is none.

  • http://jeffjenkinsocala.blogspot.com/ Jeff Jenkins

    Well, I don’t see any hatred in Bristol’s blog article above, but I see tons of vile hatred in many of these comments.

  • Erin

    As you seem to be confused by the criticism, and even hatred, that you’ve received, let me help explain it to you. There are many things to criticize in your original post, some of which you’ve addressed here. A. Obama never stated that he consulted his daughters in this decision, only that they allowed him to see how the younger generation, of which you are unfortunately a part, is increasingly tolerant and loving of their fellow human beings in all walks of life. B. Your argument that a traditional nuclear family is the only healthy environment for a child is laughable, given that your happy traditional family upbringing still led to your unwed teen pregnancy. And don’t even get me started on abstinence-only education, considering how well that worked for you. But beyond these valid points is the fact that your original post reeks of hatred. You hate homosexuals so much that you want to deny them the right to marry the partner they love, to visit them in the hospital, to share important life decisions together. You’ve received hatred in response to your post because you hated first. You hate people who are different from you, and you are using a media pulpit, which was handed to you on no merits whatsoever, to prevent other human beings from having the same rights as you do. I’m not saying this justifies the ugly responses you’ve seen to this article, but to put it bluntly, you started it.

    • QuoVadisAnima

      Disagreeing with someone is not the same as hating them – though clearly some have difficulty distinguishing the two.

      Homosexuals already have the right to marry the partner they love & can arrange the legal rights for the rest. But you are not arguing for those rights, or else you would simply be demanding something to simplify acquiring the legal rights you seek (as Sir Elton John has suggested would be the better course) – however, you are instead arguing for the right to change the definition of marriage for everybody else.

      Problem with that is the unavoidable consequence that catering to the demands of this very small but very loud & threatening percentage of the population has already proven repeatedly to deny the CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS of others (not just Christians as ALL the major religions of the world reject homosexuality) to free speech & the free practice of religion. So it is you who are trying to deprive others of their rights.

      • Steph

        Buddhism, Taosim, and several other “major” world religions DO NOT reject the idea of homosexuality AT ALL. I suggest you do your homework. And allowing homosexual couples to get married WOULD NOT change the definition of “marriage” for anyone else. Your argument is completely invalid.

        • Dana

          Um, what is the only other MAJOR world religion besides Christianity?? You forgot to mention Islam, hun. Islam is even MORESO against gays than Christians. They are rapidly spreading across Europe. How do they spread their religion?? By threatening Jihad. I suggest YOU do your homework.

      • Mary

        So gays getting married is somehow denying Christians their rights? I’m sorry but we never asked you to stop preaching your beliefs or building your churches. The only thing that upsets Americans is when the church imposes their beliefs on the government to make everyone else in the country follow. That is where you cross the line between the separation of church and state. The only thing we ask is to not let religious beliefs control the rest of the country who doesn’t share them. You will still have the freedom and right to deny all the gay weddings you want from occurring in your churches. But the legal aspects and government recognition of said marriages should not have to be so complex for gays couples just because your beliefs define marriage in a different way.

        • Dana

          Then call it a “civil union” then. Don’t call it marriage….which was founded and is valued in many religious institutions, not just Christianity. Too many out there don’t want to see what has been held valued, sacred, natural, and beautiful since the dawn of humanity….perverted and mocked for younger generations to come. Since when have mere selfish desires become rights?? Consensual or not… marriage is NOT just about expressed love…but the groundwork and foundation of FAMILY. Nature itself ordained it so that this can ONLY happen between a man and woman, and a LOVING mother AND father is ESSENTIAL for a child’s complete health in social and sexual maturity.

    • Mike Stokes

      Bristal, these vicious pigs will not stop insulting you. I hope and pray the Lord will protect you and your family. Thank you so much for having the courage to speak up for traditional marriage, which is an institution God created that was in the best interest of the family structure, which made our country what it is today. There is tons of evidence that proves the traditional family; a mother and father living under the same roof, raising and providing for their children, is best for husband and wife and the children and society at large. Thank God for the family, and thank God for you.

  • Kat

    Wah wah wah, cry us all a river you dirty little hypocritical whore. Go eat a hot pile of STFU already. Stop wasting your time typing and go take care of your fatherless kid, or better yet, get an education on diversity and ethics and maybe this will help expand your narrow little mind. Don’t attack the president if you can’t handle the country’s counter-attack on you…dirty whore. Now go away and disappear, no one likes you, they’re all faking it.

    • Anna

      “hypocritical whore”? You have just proved Bristol right.

    • Rhoda

      You know what, I disagree with Bristol Palin but you will never change anyone’s mind by calling them a “dirty whore”.
      If you insult someone by calling them a dirty whore you are a misogynist. Yes, even if you are a woman yourself. How can you speak up for diversity and yet call someone a whore?
      Please use reason.

  • Cherie

    This blog is hilarious. I love it when stupid people don’t know how stupid they are, and just keep going. Please Bristol- never stop writing this crap!!! I especially love your christian fans who sound like vicious blood thirsty mutts, ready to tear the throats out of anyone who calls you on your bullshit. Yay Jesus!

  • Kristen

    It is sad that she can only pick out the few that went to the extremes, but not answer the people who made valid points. If Bristol is going to state her opinion as fact, she needs to prove it. She is talking about Hollywood, if she wants to be in that business, she needs to be aware of who toe she steps on. Hollywood is full of Gays. Her actions contradicts her message. How can she say that a home with a mother and a father is a better up bringing than a home with the same sex marriages when she was born in a “traditional family” setting and she still made poor choices that affects her son? People who wear plastic should not play with fire.

    • Dana

      I’m so sick of everyone pointing to Bristol’s parental and conservative status as a single mom to undermine her points as “narrow minded.” It doesn’t take rocket science and scape-goating to religion people to know that a child’s sexual and social development hinges on a father AND a mother figure. It doesn’t take nothing but common sense to realize that 2 men and 2 women can’t NATURALLY build a family for a reason. Nature itself (whether you want to admit to a higher power or not) ordains it so! Stop pointing to heterosexuals with character problems and poor decision making as reasons to justify an even more perverted view point! Problems don’t justify problems. By your theory, the world is already screwed up. So why not screw it up even more! So stop thinking about your own selfish desires that you want to deem as “rights” and think about little ones who don’t have a voice! Think about what this will do to FAMILY. What is best for a child is a LOVING father AND a LOVING mother. Bristol herself admits that and hopes to eventually find a caring father to partner her in raising her son. Marriage itself was NOT founded in government but in religion, and ALL major world religions (not just Christians) oppose gay marriage out of COMMON SENSE. To do otherwise is to MOCK and PERVERT the mystical union of differences between a man and woman that has been the framework and foundation of family for ALL CREATURES since the BEGINNING OF TIME. If you want to criticize Bristol Palin for her obvious concerns, then you might as well criticize thousands of moral law-abiders since dawn of humanity. I rest my case. Now all of you leave that poor girl alone and let her have her senses.

    • Mary

      Kristen, your post sums up the whole problem perfectly and accurately.

  • PamelaDeville

    Ignore the haters, dear Bristol. Love to you and your wonderful family.