Hate in the Name of Love, Bullying in the Name of Tolerance

Well, I stirred up a hornet’s nest.  You know you’ve struck a nerve when even J-Woww tweets insults at you.  But the thing that most amazes me is how few people actually addressed the points I made in my recent blog post.  They were pretty simple.  Conservative women like my mom get grief because people think they can’t make decisions without their husband, but Barack Obama gets applauded for changing his mind on a huge issue after consulting his wife and young daughters. The double standard amazes me.

Oh, and in that post I also said generally kids do better with mother/father families – the kind of family I’d like to have for Tripp one day.

That’s it.  That’s pretty much the post.  (Yes, I made a little joke about Swiper the Fox, but anyone with a brain would know that wasn’t serious.)  You see arguments like that all the time in political magazines.  It’s not a big deal, and the people who make arguments like that don’t stir up much controversy.

But I’m not a pundit.  I’m just a mom made famous in one of the most intense and embarrassing ways possible – by having your teen pregnancy announced in the middle of a presidential campaign.  Oh, and I was a finalist on Dancing with the Stars, one of the most-watched shows on TV.  But all that means I’m more a part of pop culture, the culture that creates the television we watch and the music we listen to.  When real pundits write blog posts, they don’t pop up in Us Weekly… but mine do.

And I’m glad.  Why?  Because pop culture needs a little bit of debate.  It needs a little bit of disagreement.  Because not everyone who watches their shows or listens to their music thinks the way the directors, producers, and actors think.  When you’re in Hollywood you’ll meet some great people, some terrible people, and many somewhere in between.  In other words, they’re people just like everyone else.  But what you won’t find is any disagreement about things like gay marriage or abortion.  For those folks, there’s one way to think, and anyone who disagrees is stupid, hypocritical, hateful, or bigoted.  (Of course, I’m not the only one facing the wrath of the Hollywood-type sheeple – there are some celebrities bold enough to speak out, and they get attacked and ostracized too.)

If you read the almost 3,000 comments after my controversial post, or read the entertainment magazines, you’ll see some of the most terrible words against me, my mom, and my entire family.

You’ll see hate in the name of love. People claim they’re just trying to protect the right of two people to love each other – a right I don’t contest, by the way – and then spew the worst words imaginable at someone they disagree with.  If the agenda is love, why do you hate so intensely?

You’ll see bullying in the name of tolerance. Bullying is in the news lately, for good reason.  It’s horrifying to see stories of young people taking their own lives because they can’t see past the hate of others.  Around Hollywood, there’s lots of concern and great initiatives to try to encourage more kindness in this world.  Then why do I get so many messages telling me I should die?  Here’s a sampling that we didn’t put up on the blog:

 

And if you read the comments we let through, the only word that really sums them up is “bullying.”  They treat me as if I’m not human, as if they are somehow proving how great they are by (always anonymously, the cowards) tearing me apart with their words.

Here’s the thing.  In the articles and comments, I saw a lot of hate and a lot of bullying, but you know what I didn’t see much of?  Arguments.  In fact, this reminds me a little bit of the incident in an L.A. bar that went viral several months ago and will be shown in its entirety in my upcoming new reality tv show.  There, a guy started yelling at me and called my mom terrible names, but couldn’t tell me one decent reason why he was filled with so much hate.

Here’s a news flash, guys.  Your hate and bullying don’t work.  People see through it, and they don’t like to be pushed around.  You think it’s completely obvious that you’re right, but this younger generation is more pro-life than their parents, and voters just keep defending traditional marriage.  Why?  Why would we if you’ve been telling us what to think for all these years?

Because we think for ourselves.  And we’ll keep thinking for ourselves no matter what you call us.  So keep sending the hate, but realize that hate doesn’t win arguments.
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  • John

    “Here’s the thing. In the articles and comments, I saw a lot of hate and a lot of bullying, but you know what I didn’t see much of? Arguments. ”

    I can’t speak for everyone else but my initial response to almost everything that I’ve come in contact with since seeing your blog falls under “not deserving to even be dignified with a reply.” I can tell you with complete confidence that I could take every paragraph and every sentence you write and effortlessly deconstruct it and show you how your points are flawed, not well thought out and ultimately insanely ignorant.

    Your own perception of the situation and tendency to continually play the victim is hilarious by the way. Yes I saw the post where you claim you are not but it’s exactly what is happening. You are not being bullied for anything aother than your stupid attitudes and incredibly stupid words…. and in that respect the hate is almost justified! This comes on the heels of you doing probably one of the most bullying things possible, you were being anti-gay. Here’s a group of people who feel the brunt of so much undesrved hate and malignment that its common for them to not even be able to admit their own identity to themselves and also all too common for them to commit suicide because of it. You’d like for them to not have the same rights that we have. I get that.

    Now people are not legitimately arguing you because you “won”? You sorry sorry girl. It’s because you miss the point so completely that most people would not even see the value in engaging you in any kind of discussion.

    Take Obama’s stance on gay marriage. Just about anyone with even a below average level of IQ right OR left wing knows this is a textbook case of election year pandering and for you to take his comments so literally as to think that his two daughters completely dictated this policy to him and THEN to make an entire post and discussion revolving around this laughable concept comes off as really stupid and really childish.

    So that’s why you have so few “argumentative replies.” As an idiot, you have no concept just how stupid and ignorant the things you say sound so you assume, like an idiot, that it must mean your logic was unassailable and its quite the opposite. It’s because your arguments are so bad. Honestly if I were to have this discussion legitimately with anyone I would hope as a prerequiste they would understand that Obama’s remarks were a very obvious facade. Ultimately though, that’s what politicians do at election year. Just like Mitt Romney pandering to the NRA when he’s actually pro-gun control. In short, People say shit so they get elected and most people realize that. Still I know in the back of my mind that even though Obama might be insincere about gay marriage there is still a MUCH better chance he will make some progress there then any other candidate so all this talk about Obama selling out the gay community is stupid ( which is directed not at Bristol but at another commentor) also because clearly he is still their best option.

    You really don’t get people’s reaction to you and your mom either. Speaking personally, it is chiefly because she sounds like such an idiot everytime she opens her mouth. It’s not my main intent to be hurtful or insulting but that adjective, idiot, describes perfectly for me what I am seeing in front of my eyes. You think she’s getting an unfair rap because she’s a woman conservative and yet to me it’s amazing someone so ignorant and foolish could have held any level of relevance whatsoever.So the rest of the right wing is worried about your mom. It’s because if she ever were elected it would be the biggest left wing election victory in years! Every stupid thing she says and inevitably does would stigmatize the Republicans for years! Look how much mileage people got off Bush and he was at least twice as intelligent sounding as your mom! Trust me the fact that your mom is not bright is something BOTH sides of the aisle see very clearly.

    You two need to stop blanketing yourself in the protection of your left wing conspiracy theories. You make it sound like every bad reaction you and your mom gets is the result of an orchestrated attempt to put you guys down and marginalize you. WHAT?! You guys never had a level of importance that deemed any necessity for any kind of a real smeer campaign. Why would anyone bother when she makes it so EASY?! LOL! Seriously there is no negative political add campaign that could compare to the effect of her open mouth! It’s not simply because I disagree with her. If I heard anyone else speaking like her I’d think they were idiots even if they shared my opinions. It just becomes such a spectacle though because she is on TV in conversations

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrzXLYA_e6E

    The entire world was watching these things in disbelief and amazement. “Is McCain Senile?” “Is this entire thing rigged and the GOP is actually not trying to win this time?”

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  • http://None Nicole

    Bristol – I couldn’t agree more than hate is no way to get a point across, and those people making death threats and calling names should be ashamed of themselves. I love your TV show and I think your family is awesome, even though I disagree with many of your mom’s positions. She is clearly a great mom and a cool lady, regardless!

    I’m not a Democrat or a Republican, because both sides have good ideas and bad ideas. I think it’s so silly that we have “sides” in this country. However, I guess you could say I am “liberal” on most social issues. (Unfortunately I’ve noticed that word is sometimes used on your show like it’s an insult! I do love that Willow has a liberal friend in Arizona, though.)

    I support gay marriage because I think somebody else’s marriage is none of my business. It doesn’t harm me or you, but it brings so much joy and happiness to gay people who love one another, no different than any straight marriage. Who am I to stomp on anyone’s happiness?! Although it seems a little strange to many people, being gay isn’t a new phenomenon at all. In fact, homosexuality was widespread in the ancient Greek culture! And many, many animals and species demonstrate signs of homosexuality — not just humans. The way I see it, it’s just another option that God invented, like having brown hair or blue eyes or dark skin. Also, there is no evidence that children in gay households are any less happy, healthy, or loved than other children. Especially in this era where we see so many teen moms, single parents, and broken families, I believe that two homosexual individuals are every bit as capable of caring for one another and for a child as anybody else.

    As for President Obama, I’m glad that his opinion “evolved” enough for him to say it out loud. Just like your Dora the Explorer comment was a joke, I don’t think anyone “with a brain” really believes he is taking political advice from his teenage daughters. I think he was simply saying that the love he has for them, and the love they have for others regardless of sexual orientation, has helped him to realize that love is love; gay or straight. If his kids can come to that realization away from the pressures of being an adult, a policy maker, and a public figure, then surely he can too.

    In your blog post, you said this: “[According to many people in Hollywood] there’s one way to think, and anyone who disagrees is stupid, hypocritical, hateful, or bigoted. ” This is true of many people — not just Hollywood people, but even Alaskans, too — and it’s so unfortunate. I would challenge you not to fall into that same trap, especially regarding topics like gay marriage, abortion, guns, and other issues. As much as I love you and your show, sometimes it seems like you, too, believe there is only one way to think. I wish you would acknowledge that even “liberals” may very well be intelligent, kind, respectful citizens and human beings who want the very best for their families and their country. A good attitude and an open mind go a long way, and I hope we continue to see more of that on Life’s a Tripp! Thanks for helping to spread kindness and set a better example for the haters out there :)

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  • Dorothy

    I can’t begin to tell you how ashamed I am of these people. I don’t have the same views as you, but that doesn’t mean I wish you any I’ll will. To each their own I always say. But what I found to be the most disgusting thing written on there was that someone actually wished death upon a baby. Tripp is an innocent as the day is long in this controversial debate. He doesn’t know one way from another and at his age that is the way it should be. So for someone to wish him death makes for a very bad human being. I am not saying that wishing it on you or the rest of your family is right either, but defiantly not on that baby!! I’m sorry some people have no morels and. An not see past their own hate to realize that their protest against you puts them in a catagory of protest itself…and you called or right…bullying!!

  • http://thelestersheartfilledhome.blogspot.com/ Marie Lester

    Bristol just stumbled onto your blog and I’m so happy that I did, I’m a huge fan of your mom and I loved the show she had about Alaska and really enjoyed your show as well! I’m so sorry people say such horrible things to you! If they don’t have anything nice to say why say it at all? I find myself usually agreeing with what you write and I love that you’re never apologetic for your beliefs or opinions and that you always present them in a respectful way. So nice to see someone being mature and acting their age! Good for you Bristol, I really respect you hope you have a great dancing with the stars season! God Bless!

    • http://www.desertsoapstone.etsy.com Kelli

      I absolutely couldn’t have said it better, Marie. Bristol, you keep keepin’ on and forget about the naysayers. It has taken brave and hated men throughout history to make this country what it is and if they had given up because of some terrible bullying then we would probably be speaking another language now or not living in this great country that has afforded these people such freedoms to speak to you so hatefully. I love that your mom so supports your father and vice versa and I love that you have been so selfless and brave and chose to have your child when you probably felt very afraid. It is the values you and your family hold that have formed this country and made it free. May God protect and keep you.


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