Hate in the Name of Love, Bullying in the Name of Tolerance

Well, I stirred up a hornet’s nest.  You know you’ve struck a nerve when even J-Woww tweets insults at you.  But the thing that most amazes me is how few people actually addressed the points I made in my recent blog post.  They were pretty simple.  Conservative women like my mom get grief because people think they can’t make decisions without their husband, but Barack Obama gets applauded for changing his mind on a huge issue after consulting his wife and young daughters. The double standard amazes me.

Oh, and in that post I also said generally kids do better with mother/father families – the kind of family I’d like to have for Tripp one day.

That’s it.  That’s pretty much the post.  (Yes, I made a little joke about Swiper the Fox, but anyone with a brain would know that wasn’t serious.)  You see arguments like that all the time in political magazines.  It’s not a big deal, and the people who make arguments like that don’t stir up much controversy.

But I’m not a pundit.  I’m just a mom made famous in one of the most intense and embarrassing ways possible – by having your teen pregnancy announced in the middle of a presidential campaign.  Oh, and I was a finalist on Dancing with the Stars, one of the most-watched shows on TV.  But all that means I’m more a part of pop culture, the culture that creates the television we watch and the music we listen to.  When real pundits write blog posts, they don’t pop up in Us Weekly… but mine do.

And I’m glad.  Why?  Because pop culture needs a little bit of debate.  It needs a little bit of disagreement.  Because not everyone who watches their shows or listens to their music thinks the way the directors, producers, and actors think.  When you’re in Hollywood you’ll meet some great people, some terrible people, and many somewhere in between.  In other words, they’re people just like everyone else.  But what you won’t find is any disagreement about things like gay marriage or abortion.  For those folks, there’s one way to think, and anyone who disagrees is stupid, hypocritical, hateful, or bigoted.  (Of course, I’m not the only one facing the wrath of the Hollywood-type sheeple – there are some celebrities bold enough to speak out, and they get attacked and ostracized too.)

If you read the almost 3,000 comments after my controversial post, or read the entertainment magazines, you’ll see some of the most terrible words against me, my mom, and my entire family.

You’ll see hate in the name of love. People claim they’re just trying to protect the right of two people to love each other – a right I don’t contest, by the way – and then spew the worst words imaginable at someone they disagree with.  If the agenda is love, why do you hate so intensely?

You’ll see bullying in the name of tolerance. Bullying is in the news lately, for good reason.  It’s horrifying to see stories of young people taking their own lives because they can’t see past the hate of others.  Around Hollywood, there’s lots of concern and great initiatives to try to encourage more kindness in this world.  Then why do I get so many messages telling me I should die?  Here’s a sampling that we didn’t put up on the blog:


And if you read the comments we let through, the only word that really sums them up is “bullying.”  They treat me as if I’m not human, as if they are somehow proving how great they are by (always anonymously, the cowards) tearing me apart with their words.

Here’s the thing.  In the articles and comments, I saw a lot of hate and a lot of bullying, but you know what I didn’t see much of?  Arguments.  In fact, this reminds me a little bit of the incident in an L.A. bar that went viral several months ago and will be shown in its entirety in my upcoming new reality tv show.  There, a guy started yelling at me and called my mom terrible names, but couldn’t tell me one decent reason why he was filled with so much hate.

Here’s a news flash, guys.  Your hate and bullying don’t work.  People see through it, and they don’t like to be pushed around.  You think it’s completely obvious that you’re right, but this younger generation is more pro-life than their parents, and voters just keep defending traditional marriage.  Why?  Why would we if you’ve been telling us what to think for all these years?

Because we think for ourselves.  And we’ll keep thinking for ourselves no matter what you call us.  So keep sending the hate, but realize that hate doesn’t win arguments.
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  • Chase

    Bristol, nothing you say or point out can be taken seriously, given that you refuse to call out Bill Maher specifically for his “bullying”. Crying to Obama for a phone call is just pathetic (do you really think he will speak to you?). Unless you confront a “bully”, the “bullying” will continue. Do the right thing and call Maher’s diatribes out.

    • Me

      Aren’t you just going to call Bristol a professional victim if she calls him out on it, hypocrite?

  • http://EileenS Eileen Steller

    Bristol, when someone mentions wanting you dead or hope you die, etc that should be reported as a threat against your life and you should forward these to homeland security or your local police. The senders should not get a free pass on this . Thank God for freedom of speech but these threats or death wishes cross the line.
    It is sad that they are so childish. Finally, let me pray this over you and your family: No weapon formed against you shall prosper,every tongue that raises up against you in judgement will be put to naught; God will contend with those who contend with you and vengeance is His, He alone will repay. Keep praying this prayer and watch how God will move on your behalf. Keep their feet to the fire as they are two faced rascals.

    • Alberta Brett

      You are so right!

  • shirley

    It all comes down to hypocrisy. They’re all for everyone expressing an opinion as long as they agree with it. If they don’t agree then it’s perfectly OK to say the most vile and crude things their small brains can think of. People like that are an argument for evolution: with the things they say I can believe they come from slime.

  • bellagrazi

    Oh my God, Bristol, that was supremely awesome! Keep it up, girl. Your haters are losing their shit, because they know you will never back down. And your fans are cheering you on for the same reason. You are definitely striking a nerve in this country with your posts. Palin haters are the most vile people on earth. To wish harm on a child is disturbing, to say the least. (to wish harm on anyone) These are the people with serious PDS. I’m so glad you posted their comments, Bristol. People need to see what your family goes through on a daily basis. Keep using your voice, Bristol. You definitely have a lot of Mama Grizzly in you. We’re so proud of you, BP.

    • Barbara

      Thanks bellagrazi I could not have said it better myself. Keep your chin up Bristol, millions of people do not hate you or your Mom. I for one greatly admire your spirit and commitment, you are a great role model for kids coming up today. Keep fighting Sweety, when I can I got your back with my words.

  • Joni

    Well said Bristol! More people need to say what you are saying.

  • Megan H

    Bristol- It’s sad that this is what the world is coming to. Unfortunately people are so insecure with themselves that they have to poke fun and say awful things to other to build themselves up. Someday they will see the errors of their ways. It doesn’t matter how you got to where you are, God has made a place for you with authority to voice his truths. I’m proud of you! Being a mom is hard enough as it is. I’m so glad you have the support of a Christian family behind you and your son. My husband and I live in Montana with our two little boys and enjoy a lot of the things your family does as well:) It’s a different way of life but we love it! Just remember you have people behind you, supporting you all the way. But most importantly you have God and he is the only opinion we should care about, Satin can try his hardest to weave a web of his lies and break us down, so pay no attention to those comments those people wrote… apparently they see you as a threat:) You must be doing something right!!!

  • Diema Roth

    Amen! Go Bristol! I’m 23, married, with 4 children. I used to be incredibly liberal. Then, as my hubby’s college professor said, I grew up, my eyes were opened. I think using your platform to stand firm on your beliefs is FABULOUS! More from our generation need to stand up and proclaim Truth. Push through the garbage! As stated, you struck a nerve, shoving a knife in the enemy and God is proud!

    • L3

      Yes, the Old Testament God sure would be proud of Bristol “shoving a knife in the enemy”. Jesus, probably not so much.

  • Alberta Brett


    I can’t even imagine what this is like. I was bullied as a child in school, but cannot compare this with what you go through. I want to tell you that I applaud you for addressing this situation. Thank you for taking a stand and looking these people and their posts in the eye and telling them YOU WILL NOT give in to their hate – you will stand and rise above it with grace and dignity – just like your mother has shown you. What an example you have to look up too!! As I’ve said in other responses to your posts, I too am a single mom. I became a single parent in 1991 – and being a single parent at that time was still frown upon. I than had my second child out of wedlock in 1993. I do not consider either of my children a “mistake”. My daughter is studying to be a DR! Let me stand up and tell all those that had it out for me that they were wrong! I have 2 wonderful children, raised them alone. They are the light of my life, my pride and joy. I thank the Lord for them everyday. Don’t give up, keep fighting – your an inspiration to single parents all around the world.. I’m 43 and you inspire me!

    • Lisa

      Good for you Alberta! There are many single mom’s out there that have done a great job – and it looks like you’re one of them.

      I’m a parent of children that were bullied. I know what that’s like – and that’s why I stand up to bullies every day.

  • Carol

    Couldn’t have been said it any better Bristol. I’m sure you are well aware of the fact that Hollywood is primarily made up of liberals, and all those nasty tweets….likely came from mostly liberals…if not all.

    Two of my best friends are gay. They have been in a relationship for nearly 20 years. They are two of the best people I know. I truly love them. However, I am a married Christian woman to a Christian man. We have been together for 10 years and have two beautiful girls. We support a marriage between a man and a woman and not same sex marriage because of our Christian beliefs. The Bible is our word and we try and live our lives as closely to that as possible. Because we are not perfect, we will continue to sin and make mistakes but bottom line is we believe what the Bible says and I will just leave it at that. Keep going Bristol. I think you, your mom and your entire family are great people and both God and Jesus have your backs.

  • Nicky

    The comment about you not having a college education is ridiculous. I have noticed that obtaining a college degree doesn’t make you smart, it just makes you think you are. And as far as Hollywood stars’ opinions, they live in a world of make believe. Why should I care what they think?