Church Sign Epic Fails, “Big Ass” Edition

If I were a dog, I’d like to be a Shih Tzu. I bet they have some pretty good ideas about what’s going on. Oh, right! Church signs…

Actually, it’s the fourteen potato casseroles you’ve eaten since Lent.

Yeah, um, no…wait, yeah, that makes perfect sense.

And if you act now, you can take advantage of a 30% discount on offering. Call it “Black Sunday.”

Really? Oh wow, because every time I used it before, I ended up with a bar of soap in my mouth.

Yes, once you get the whole “Kingdom of God” thing figured out, you can move on to more important matters, like college sports.

I’m not sure exactly what the person who thought of this sign was on when they conceived of it, but I hope there’s some left.

Turns out salvation really just means you’ll come back as a soda can. Kind of a bummer, but here’s hoping it ain’t Pepsi!

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Force-Fed Faith” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, Hangover Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Chocolate Chip Christ” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, Vol. (x = 40-3)

Church Sign Epic Fails, Vol. 36

Church Sign Epic Fails, Vol. XXXV

Church Sign Epic Fails, Birthday Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, Reader Submissions (Part 2)

Church Sign Epic Fails: Reader Submission Special Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, Miraculous Mashup (Vol. 31)

Kill Rock Star's Portia Sabin on How the Music Biz Ticks
Growing the Awesome Together
Does Religion Make Our Kids - and Us - Jerks?
Dear Starbucks: This Christian Doesn't Care What You Print on My Coffee Cup
About Christian Piatt

Christian Piatt is the creator and editor of BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE BIBLE and BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT JESUS. He has a memoir on faith, family and parenting called PREGMANCY: A Dad, a Little Dude and a Due Date, and Hachette published his first hardcover book, "postChristian: What's left? Can we fix it? Do we care?" in 2014. His first novel, "Blood Doctrine," has been optioned by a Hollywood production company for a possible TV series.

Christian is the cofounder and cohost of the Homebrewed CultureCast, a podcast about popular culture, current events and spirituality that has a weekly audience of 25,000 people (

Preorder Christian's next book, "Not That Kind of Christian: Loving God without being an a**hole," at

For more information about Christian, visit, or find him on Twitter ( or Facebook.

  • Chad

    In regards to the “Fear God” sign… are they trying to say that God is nothing? Cause that’s the impression I got.

  • Elizabeth Anderson

    That one church must be in Ohio… I’d curse them, but I’m from so far north in Michigan that OSU doesn’t even enter in to the equation. MSU all the way!