Tennessee Passes ‘Don’t Say Darwin’ Bill

Nashville, Tennessee Bill SB 234 , otherwise known as’ Don’t Say Darwin’ bill passed late last night and signed into law by Governor Bill Haslam (R). The new law prohibits Charles Darwin’s name from being said, written, or communicated via sign language within state limits. The bill needed to be amended at the last minute in order to include Morse code, just in case the unscrupulous segment of the population attempts to get around the new regulation.

Bill SB 234 was written in response to the furor caused by Representative Rush Holt’s (D- NJ) proposal to nationally recognize Charles Darwin’s contribution to society by naming February 12th Darwin Day.

“Once I heard the federal government intends to undermine our religious rights as well as our state right to remain a Christian community, God spoke directly to my heart and told me to write this bill,” said State Representative from Bald Knob, Isham Harris. Representative Harris then quoted from the part of the law specifically targeting youth.

The general assembly recognizes that certain subjects are particularly sensitive and are, therefore, best explained and discussed in some other state. Because of his complex societal, scientific, psychological, and historical implications, Charles Darwin is one such subject. Charles Darwin is best understood by individuals with sufficient maturity to grasp its complexity and implications in another state […]

A school counselor, nurse, principal or assistant principal counseling a student who is engaging in, or who may be at risk of engaging in, communicating with another student concerning Charles Darwin must be done in consultation with the student’s parents or legal guardians. Parents or legal guardians of students who receive such counseling shall be notified as soon as possible that such counseling occurred.

Not everyone is pleased with the ‘Don’t Say Darwin’ law. The Australian embassy has sent a strongly worded letter to the Governor’s office pointing out that under a strict interpretation of the law speaking the capital of Australia’s Northern Territory, Darwin, is now a felony in Tennessee. Governor Haslam responded that the Australian city could always change its name on its own accord. If the municipality chooses not to do so, then the city will be referred to as Kirk Cameronville.