ID to Pee?

I’m starting to run into people who say that they support trans bathroom access, but that they are still behind the American Family Association’s boycott of Target, because Target’s policy does nothing to prevent a male predator from falsely claiming to be trans and entering the women’s bathroom. This is maddening on a whole host of levels, but has become pervasive enough that I feel the need to address it.

Let me start by asking this: How would we go about allowing trans people to use the restrooms that match their gender identity while at the same time preventing a male predator from falsely claiming to be trans and entering the women’s bathroom? In practice, what would this look like? From where I’m standing, it looks like the only way to do this would be to say that trans people have to carry some form of proof that they are trans, and be ready to present that if challenged. If this sounds a bit like a police state, that’s because it is a bit like a police state. And also? Not every trans woman has access to “proof” that she is a trans woman. Some trans women haven’t been able to afford the doctors or treatments that might verify this.

Further, any such policy wouldn’t just affect trans women, it would also affect cis (i.e. non-trans) women. I mentioned in a previous blog post that my elementary-school daughter has sometimes been hassled in the bathroom for not looking enough like a girl; that led to numerous commenters chiming in to say that their daughter, or they themselves, had been in the same situation. I have a friend with a son who has long hair who is similarly challenged. I recently watched a video of police throwing a young lesbian out of the women’s restroom over her friends’ protests because she didn’t look feminine enough and didn’t have ID with her.

Let’s switch gears for a moment. What about little boys’ safety? Statistically, most sexual predators are male, including the vast majority of child sexual predators. Further, pedophiles prey on boys as well as girls. Have we really completely forgotten the Catholic Church’s sex abuse scandal? I have a young son and I’ve spoken with other mothers of boys, and I’ve noticed a common theme—letting our little boys enter the men’s bathroom, alone, is nerve-wracking. Any policy aimed at keeping male predators out of the women’s bathroom that isn’t coupled with some attempt to do something about male predators in men’s bathrooms is shortsighted, because that is where we are sending our boys, and yes, predators do prey on boys.

So we’ve established that the only way to ensure that male predators don’t claim to be trans women in order to enter the women’s bathrooms and prey on women, while also allowing trans women to enter the women’s bathrooms, is to create a rather draconian identification system whereby individuals must prove they are women (trans or otherwise) to enter or be in the women’s bathrooms. We’ve also established that such a system, while it might in theory prevent male predators from falsely claiming to be trans in order to gain access to the women’s bathrooms, would do nothing to protect little boys and in fact would ensure that male predators are confined to the men’s bathrooms with those same little boys.

No male predator has ever, to our knowledge, claimed to be a trans woman in order to enter the women’s bathrooms to prey on women. In contrast, there have been some occasions where male predators have disguised themselves as women in order to enter women’s bathrooms and film using cameras hidden in a purse. Preventing these cases would involve requiring cis women to produce ID in order to enter the bathroom, either to a bathroom monitor or if challenged by another individual in the bathroom. Note this about men pretending to be cis women, not trans women, and that is unrelated to allowing trans women to use the restrooms that match their gender identity and happens regardless of trans bathroom access.

But you know what? Entering a bathroom with a hidden camera in your purse (or elsewhere) is already against the law regardless of your gender. In fact, in the limited number of cases I’ve read where a man dressed as a woman in order to enter the women’s bathroom with a filming device, the situation came to light because someone noticed that they were being filmed and reported it to management, who called the police. In other words, laws allowing trans women to use the bathrooms that match their gender identity would not in fact allow a male predator to legally enter the women’s bathroom to prey on women because preying on women is illegal.

And besides this, guess what? All of this is completely unrelated from what appears to be the most common form of bathroom predation—male employees placing hidden cameras inside women’s restrooms in their establishments. Where is the outrage about that, I wonder? I’ve as yet seen no attempt to legislate against male employees cleaning women’s restrooms, or entering them when they’re closed. If we’re talking about preventing bathroom predation, shouldn’t this be our first concern, given that cameras hidden in the bathroom appear to be the most common way in which women are preyed on in the women’s restroom?

So, let’s review. First, filming or otherwise spying on others in the bathroom is already illegal regardless of your gender. Second, planting hidden cameras appears to be the most common form of bathroom predation, but no one appears to be talking about that. Third, no male predator has ever claimed to be trans in order to enter the women’s bathrooms, even though Target’s bathroom policy has been in place in many stores for decades. Some male predators have dressed as women to gain access to the women’s restroom, and banning trans people from women’s bathroom would not change this. When caught filming, these male predators have been thrown out of the bathrooms because again, preying on women is illegal.

Let’s bring things back around to where we started. Individuals who say they think trans people should be allowed to use the bathrooms that conform to their gender identity but that Target’s policy of not questioning those who claim to be trans does not do enough to protect women are putting more weight on an unlikely hypothetical problem than they are on a very real and already existing problem. I’ve seen some people say that given Target’s (supposedly new but actually longstanding) policy on trans bathroom access, they no longer feel safe using the bathrooms at Target. Well you know what? Welcome to what it feels like to be trans. Can you even imagine what it must feel like to feel in danger in every public restroom you ever use?

That’s the reality for trans people.

And you know what? The only way to solve the unlikely hypothetical problem of male predators claiming to be trans women to gain access to women’s bathrooms (to do illegal things that will get them kicked out) while also allowing trans people to use the bathrooms that match their gender identity is to police the hell out of everyone who enters the women’s restroom. I’m fairly certain most people don’t want to enact an “ID to pee” policy, which would, yes, affect cis women as well as trans women.

Actually, let me put it another way. We have always allowed women in the women’s bathroom. Some male predators have always pretended t women in order to enter the women’s bathroom to prey on women. Some of them have been successful while others have been apprehended, because we do have laws against preying on women. Now trans women are using the women’s bathrooms. Could male predators pretend to be trans women in order to enter the women’s bathrooms and prey on women? It hasn’t happened yet, but sure, it could. The results would be the same as when male predators pretend to be cis women—some would be successful while others would be apprehended, because we do have laws against preying on women. But wait, hang on—now everyone is upset? Where was the concern before?

The next time someone tells you they’re all for trans people being able to use the bathroom that matches their gender identity, but that Target’s policy as-is is dangerous, ask them if they’re suggesting an ID to pee policy. Point out that men can already dress as women to gain access to the women’s bathroom, and in fact, that we know they sometimes do this. Remind them that they can’t have it both ways. Either trans people have to be allowed to use the bathroom that matches their gender identity without being questioned, or we need to create an ID to pee policy that applies to both cis and trans women—and I’m pretty sure nobody wants that. And while you’re at it, remind them that predatory behavior is already illegal, and that learning more about bathroom safety—including how to recognize a hidden camera—will serve them far better than joining those boycotting Target.