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Christian Piatt

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Holy Sex” Edition

Last updated on: March 3, 2013 at 4:18 am

March 3, 2013 by Christian Piatt

In church growing up I got two messages about sex:

It’s dirty, and;
Save it for the one person you love enough to marry.

Got it! Wait…

holy sex — The folks who showed up thinking they were going to a seminar on “holey sex” were totally disappointed.

miracle mouth — The folks they’re talking to must have gone to the “Holy Sex” seminar (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more…)

tradition of men — Yeah, I think you’re confusing “Christmas” with “Toga Party.” And where is this Christadelphia place? More important, do they have Wifi?

ChurchOfCod — Funny thing…when you go down the aisle for communion, they sprinkle you with salt water and slap you in the face with a halibut. Was NOT expecting that.

robots dont suffer — And on the third day, God created a nervous system…and human consciousness…and didn’t share them with robots. Doy.

forbidden fruits — Ahh, HA hahahaha, you know, because of the fruit, and then there’s the jam, and…I don’t get it.

tebowing — And after they Tebow, they all sit on the bench and collect big, fat checks, for pretty much doing nothing. God is good!

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Surgically Altered” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Show Me the Money” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Apocalypse Now” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Mormons Rock” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Family Values” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Pass the Ammo” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “We Serve Minors” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “God Likes Weed” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Crush China for Jesus” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails: “Satan’s Graffiti” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Beer in Hell” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Soul Harvest” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, Advent Onslaught Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Big Ass” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Force-Fed Faith” Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, Hangover Edition

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Chocolate Chip Christ” Edition

CHECK OUT THE VIDEO EDITIONS OF CHURCH SIGN EPIC FAILS:

VIDEO Church Sign Epic Fails, “God Likes Weed” Edition

VIDEO Church Sign Epic Fails, “Big Ass” Edition

“Satan’s Graffiti” VIDEO edition of Church Sign Epic Fails

“Beer in Hell” VIDEO Edition of Church Sign Epic Fails

“Advent Onslaught” VIDEO Edition of Church Sign Epic Fails

“Faith vs. Reason Throwdown” VIDEO Edition of Church Sign Epic Fails

“Chocolate Chip Christ” VIDEO Edition of Church Sign Epic Fails

Church Sign Epic Fails VIDEO Debut

VIDEO Church Sign Epic Fails, "Surgically Altered" Edition

March 4, 2013 Heartbroken Atheist Mama

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