Add the Mean to Find the Seal

This week’s monthly mailbag comes from tattered tattoos I found on a walrus roaming my neighborhood’s park one evening. The collection might be a codex, but then again everything seems to look that way when pirates are involved. I’ll let you decide.

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To the men looking to the West for all the solutions,

Don’t look away. Keep your focus. Pretend it’s a needle, piercing the eyelid of a catfish. When you figure it out, let your foot be your compass and there you will find your pleasure.

With affliction,

The Sage

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Dear Trumpet player,

I wish you were more like Miles Davis. Oh well.

Nevermind,

Sad Trombone

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Directions to the Recipe:

1 cup to the Right, 2 miles in the left-handed lane, a slight bend at the hips in the sugar, a healthy dollop of seasonings, four mixed eggs with lots of airy banter, turn around, again, next follow the downward steps on your last life.

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To whom I may discern,

Never forget to cite your friends or they may think that you are dissing them while quietly realizing that you don’t find them clever. And next time you decide to restrict yourself to non-fiction, leave behind the journalistic rubbish and stick to poetry and verse. The other stale garbage is the stuff of dry dreams and articulate singers. Stay away from that at all costs.

Move ahead to the other side of the mammal,

Home Err

Sam Rocha is Assistant Professor of Philosophy of Education at the University of British Columbia. He is author of A Primer for the Philosophy and Education and the recently released Folk Phenomenology. He is also an accomplished musician who has two albums, Freedom for Love and Late to Love, under his belt. His upcoming third album will not have the noun “love” in the title, but will instead utilize a verbal form of the word.