I long for the Church to echo the words of Christ, who said, “Come to me, tired ones. Come to me in your dysfunction. Come to me with your disappointment. Come to me and bring your exhaustion with you. Come to me without production or pretense and rest.” Read more
I was a victim of childhood sexual abuse before the age of four. When I was 12, I discovered porn. What started as teenage curiosity turned to fascination, and eventually a powerful addiction to pornography. For nearly ten years of my addiction, I was a youth pastor in the Bible Belt. I lived in constant fear of my perfect image being shattered. But one conversation with my little boy changed everything... Read more
During my childhood, I saw people act forcefully on behalf of the Holy Spirit, but I never experienced Him that way. I knew the Holy Spirit as a gentle nudge, a Comfort, like one of my Grandmother’s quilts. But what I heard was that He was the hall monitor of our souls: the ever-watchful Eye of a perfect and holy God, who was more interested in finding the secrets we hid in the darkest places of our wandering hearts than being the balm for our weary souls. Read more
Anxiety often feels like the deep end of the pool, and I feel like a brand-new swimmer. In the moment, I forget my options — a place to set my feet — and my current emotional state isn’t a death sentence. Read more
When asked about sexual harassment in the workplace as it might pertain to his daughter, Donald Trump said, “I would like to think she would find another career or find another company if that was the case.” So Trump’s daughter, Ivanka, a very wealthy and educated woman, could just quit and find herself another job but what about the rest of us? Most women can’t as easily quit and find gainful employment. What about single moms, or poor women, or elderly women who can’t go without a paycheck for any length of time? Read more
I just knew the Henchmen of Heaven would come and steal me away in the middle of the night as a thirteen-year-old and damn me to eternal punishment early because I’d said “shit” or been caught lingering too long on the adult movie channels late at night at my grandparents’ house. Any 90’s boy knows exactly what I’m talking about: the high numbers on satellite, blurred out, with the fuzzy green and pink lines. Every once in awhile you could catch the shadow of a boob if you just stared hard enough. Read more
Since I’ve begun sharing how I went from a being a pastor to being hospitalized in a psych ward, people often ask about my recovery. Everyone wants to know, is there a single solution? Where does the magic lie? How do they get their own lives (or their loved ones’) back? Or, as others have said, “What is the one thing that made you want to start living again?” Read more
The Bible says Jesus gave the Sermon on the Mount once he saw his ministry really beginning to grow. He was drawing large groups by this time and his disciples had proven they were in for the long haul. So as the people crowded in, Jesus gave a talk on what it really means to be blessed. Maybe you’re new to my blog or new to Christianity. Maybe they’ve never made any sense to you, either. But after spending time with them, I think I get it better than I did. Here’s my version of the Beatitudes... Read more
I have found a virtual community, via Facebook and this blog, which expresses love in a way like I have never experienced before. It’s a place where everyone is accepted - regardless of station in life, gender, sexuality, chosen religion or any other differences. A place where seeking healing from brokenness is celebrated. Where friendships are born in an instant. Where life is messy and grace is abundant. I have found freedom in a way I cannot otherwise explain. Through reaching out during some incredibly dark moments, I found grace, peace, and a lack of judgement. Read more
He only took my innocence. Only. That’s one heck of a word. It was only a loss of innocence. A loss of childhood. A loss of security. A loss of comfort. That one moment rippled out for decades. So much loss. So much lost. But a friend of mine, another victim of abuse, said something to me recently that changed my life forever. Read more
Grace is Messy
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In