SATIRE

Colorado Representative Lauren Boebert and Georgia Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene secretly filmed an adult film titled Two Smoking Hotties For Christ. The film depicts, “How two courageous cul-de-sac mommies threw off the chains of the deep state and plunged deep into exploring each other’s bodies and firearms.” Many online reviews of the movie praise producer/director Andrew Canard’s vision of freedom, defense of evangelical Christianity, and the American way. It’s a safe bet that both politicians will win many honors at the upcoming AVN (Adult Video News) Awards.

Two Smoking Hotties For Christ – A Synopsis

The film opens with Colorado Representative Lauren Boebert folding her family’s laundry at her office in the Capitol. Yes, mom’s work is never done. After all, she has four sons and a husband. Is it a pain to have their laundry flown in from Colorado? Not really. It’s paid for by taxpayer money. Lauren became a born-again Christian back in 2009, so her church chips in and pay for laundry detergent and a washer and dryer in her office. Many in her congregation want her to fulfill her traditional duties AND undermine the socialist deep state run by the dreaded Hillary Soros Communism.

Marjorie Taylor Greene walks in and sees her sister from another mother in need. They commiserate over the evils of folding fitted sheets and Planned Parenthood. It’s such a dark world now that the Venezualan Chinese stole the election by deep faking millions of votes against President Trump. What are two Jesus-loving and attractive women to do?

There’s only one answer.

War.

What follows is a blood bath worthy of the Old Testament. Quoting bible verses and menu items from Chik-fil-A the two save children from Satanists who are holding the kids in pedophile tunnels under Washington DC. And every time they shoot down a Democrat Satanist the two look longingly at each other knowing that Jesus approves their work and their secret desire for each other.

In the end, the two consummate their passions and lead Insurrection 2.0 and finally free the United States of America.

Why A Boebert-Taylor Adult Film?

The National Rifleman’s Association (NRA) needs two things. First, they want no one to think too deeply about the latest mass shooting. Two, they want money. The NRA’s Star Chamber reached out to the two representatives who realized they share the exact same goals as the NRA. What better way to serve Jesus and AR-15s by taking some time out of their busy schedules and make what many are considering the adult film of the century.

“Some people may be concerned that the evangelical community will turn their backs on Boebert and Taylor due to starring in Two Smoking Hotties For Christ,” Andrew Canard said. “Just as Donald Trump said he could shoot someone on Fifth Avenue and his fans would be OK with it, the same principle applies here with these two brave women.”

Apparently, Canard is correct. Recent polling shows both right-wing politicians are more popular than ever with their male Republican constituents. Both are up for reelection, and it’s seen their gutsy move into sex work will help them win.

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