As far as I know, the only “thou shalt nots” that the brethren have talked about recently are no third parties and no porn. However, the no porn thing could be problematic if interpreted too broadly. For example, what if the pornography in question are racy or erotic pictures of one’s own spouse? You’ve already seen him or her naked. What’s the harm? Pornography is usually used to make a profit from sexual arousal. What you are describing between husband... Read more

Where to start? About three weeks ago I had severe anxiety over a random thought I had over a year ago. I believe that I might have some OCD tendencies but have never been diagnosed. The troubling thought from over a year ago was a sexual thought about an ninth grader. I am married to an amazing husband. When I had that initial thought, I thought it was strange and just brushed it off. But lately, I have had extreme... Read more

Good post, but I would add the following. I quote from Psych Central: “Unlike drug or alcohol treatment, the goal of sexual addiction treatment is not lifelong abstinence, but rather a termination of compulsive, unhealthy sexual behavior. Since it is very difficult for a sex addict to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy sex, programs usually encourage abstinence from any sexual behavior during the first phase of treatment. Many programs suggest a 60- to 90-day period of self-imposed abstinence. This enables... Read more

I first noticed signs of depression and anxiety when I was in Jr. High School. I am now very happily married with two young children. With the help of counseling and medication, I am as stable and well adjusted as the next girl. My friends would never guess I had such a rough patch in my life. The scars in my heart have healed, but unfortunately, the ones on my arms have not. I cut myself. I now recognize the... Read more

Thank you so much for your reply. I have searched for a site like yours a few times throughout our marriage. Your site is truly inspired. You are blessing people’s lives so much by what you do. I only wish you lived in our area so I could send my husband to you. 🙂 I also want to thank the three people who commented. It helps so much to hear that there are others out there that have gone through... Read more

After my husband and I are intimate, my husband feels physically drained and fatigued and sometimes has symptoms similar to the flu. This continues for at least a day and sometimes two days, but it always occurs. I don’t know if this is a normal reaction for men after sex. Physically there seems to be nothing noticeably wrong and he has seen a doctor but was too shy to ask about sex. What do you think? Is it normal? Is... Read more

I’ve been running this blog now for about 8 months and have been thrilled with the amount of people who have found it and who are participating in the important discussions we have come across. As my practice continues to grow and as more questions/comments are submitted to this blog, my time resources become limited and I need to prioritize how best to move forward. Since I want to continue to provide this service, I would like your feedback on... Read more

Sorry, but this was not a “Declaration”. This was a letter that was sent to Bishops and Stake President’s only, and was not to be shared with the general membership (not intended to be read in Sacrament meeting). This was more of an “opinion” letter, to help those counseling couples, as it appeared that there were too many husbands demanding things that their wives were not comfortable with. I would refer you to the following Church media release: “SALT LAKE... Read more

I am responding as an LDS male who struggles with some similar issues. Thanks for the term ‘scupulosity’, I have never heard of that and yes, that is something that can happen to LDS people with the combination of OCD and GAD given the intense and continual guilt-based sermons in the church. I learned from my wife that most members shrug off things heard from the pulpit that do not apply to them, but I just take everything too literally... Read more