Quoting Quiverfull: Be Cheerful to Make Men Happy?

Quoting Quiverfull: Be Cheerful to Make Men Happy? June 30, 2017

Lori Alexanders Brainby Lori Alexander from The Transformed Wife – Her Sunny, Gladness Bringing Presence

Editor’s note: You know what’s really tragic in this piece? Lori’s attempts to insist that to be a good woman you have to be fake-joyed out, like an animated blowup doll, or a grinning idiot. If there is one piece of theology out of Quiverfull that is the most dangerous it is this – suppress all negative emotions and thoughts. The only one coming across as bitter, angry, frustrated and controlling is the author.

It’s tragic to see how many angry, mean, and crass women there are today. The words that are being written on my Facebook page in the past few days are disgusting. Foul language spews out of their mouths and they have no problem ridiculing and trying to destroy others. I can tell you one thing about them, they have no joy. They aren’t cheerful because they can’t be happy while being so angry. They feed on being cruel and unfeminine while going around with a scowl on their faces and hating the ways of the Lord.

This type of behavior should have no part of our lives, women. When we disagree with someone, no foul word should ever exit our mouths. We are to be defined by kindness and speaking the truth in love. We are to hate what is evil and cling to what is good; for when we are clinging to the good, we will most likely be cheerful and joyful as we remind ourselves that the joy of the Lord is our strength.

I watched a movie the other day about a sad and disheartened man who began to spend time with a very cheerful woman. She changed him and it wasn’t by trying to control him. Her sunny disposition brought joy and happiness into his life. Do you bring joy and happiness into your husband’s life and other’s? Being joyful is a choice you make each and every moment. You can’t be joyful if you are critical and controlling so give up those ways and choose joy! Sing and make melody in your hearts unto the Lord even if you are married to a churlish husband or in difficult circumstance.

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.

moreRead more by Lori Alexander:

Hated For Speaking ‘The Truth’

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  • Nea

    Shorter Lori: Whaaa! Why aren’t people nice to me 100% of the time when I say whatever I please? I saw this work of fiction in which a woman was paid to behave a certain way and got a predermined outcome from a guy who was also paid. Why doesn’t real life mimic the movies I like?

  • Saraquill

    “You can’t be joyful if you are critical and controlling so give up those ways and choose joy!”

    Self-awareness must be a sin to Lori.

  • Anri

    The beatings will continue until morale improves.

  • igotbanned999

    Reminds me of a bad Doctor Who episode

  • Bravo Sierra

    What movie do you think it was? “A Man Called Ove” comes to mind.

  • Tawreos

    I always thought that people could be happy just for themselves, I never knew that women could only be happy in order to improve their husbands lives. It is so sad that she believes ~50% of the populations only purpose in life is to serve the other half.

  • Stephanie Rice

    Be happy or else!

  • AFo

    We should totally listen to Lori because she never shows negative emotions and has a perfect marriage that we heathens can only dream of.

  • Mel

    Living with Lori must be exhausting. She has nearly no emotional regulation skills and assumes that no one else does either.

  • Sandpirate

    I was just about to post this! Good thing I read all the other comments first.

  • Melody

    What’s that trope called… the magic pixie girl or something? I can’t remember…

    The one where the guy is all sad and brooding and some cheerful girl/young woman cheers him up, because that’s her role, after all…

    I’d much rather see the opposite for a change. It’s more interesting because far more rare – in movies that is – in real life not so much.

    Spoiler for LOTR – not sure it’s really needed, but just in case 😉

    One of the parts I liked the most about Lord of the Rings (the books) was the Houses of Healing where Faramir and Éowyn help each other and fall in love

  • Julia Childress

    Hmm. She had to turn to a work of fiction in order to support what she claims is true – that a woman can change a man merely by being positive and pleasing. If this is god’s created order of things, why aren’t there abundant real-life examples of this happening.

  • bekabot

    I watched a movie the other day about a sad and disheartened man who began to spend time with a very cheerful woman. She changed him and it wasn’t by trying to control him. Her sunny disposition brought joy and happiness into his life.

    1. Lori, that was a movie.
    2. The woman in the movie was a Manic Pixie Dream Girl.
    3. If the character runs true to type or trope, there’s plenty that’s wrong with her, but
    4. Since she’s just what the (male) main character needs at a given moment in his life, her existence is justified and her pain is okay.
    5. In her sickness, he is healed, and a happy ending ensues.
    6. This looks ever so charming on screen, but
    7. As many a desperate decadent has proved,
    8. One of the surest way to screw up your life is to base it on works of art.
    9. Remember, you heard it here.

    (Or, what Melody said.)

  • bekabot

    why aren’t there abundant real-life examples of this happening

    Because books and movies more than make up for what isn’t there in life. JMO.

  • Petticoat Philosopher

    So she watched some Manic Pixie Dream Girl romcom then?

  • katiehippie

    Why can’t everyone be just like me?

  • Quinsha

    She saw a movie….
    A work of fiction….
    And thought that it was real life?

    My father used to do that, but he had an excuse. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia.

  • Ruthitchka

    Well, my abusive husband got angry that I was happy. I explained to him right before I left that my happiness comes from within, from my active life of the mind, reading, etc. Earlier in that year, he was angry because I was happily singing while doing some chores. It was Led Zeppelin, which was playing on my phone. Lori’s little Rom-Com formula did not work at my house.

  • bekabot

    Yep. The people around you may not want you to be that much happier than they are, and if that’s true, and if you still make too much of a point of being happy, there may be repercussions. This can apply to parents and children as well as to husbands and wives, and I’m pretty sure this is one of the problems some Fundies (if we’re to judge by their own reportage) have had with their kids.

  • lady_black

    The sad part is, she doesn’t realize they’re laughing at her.

  • Anonyme

    I love it when people think movies depict “real life”. My aunt was all excited about ‘God’s Not Dead’ (a film about how a Christian college student “proves” to his atheist professor that…yes…God’s not dead) because in the end, *gasp* the protagonist was the one who won people to his side and even converted the professor!

    Yeah, that’s kind of going to happen in a film produced by and targeted at conservative Christians.

  • Anonyme