You know I have to give this young woman writing into Debi Pearl for advice about her fiance credit. Unlike most of the stars in their eyes, ready to marry Pearl girls this one has enough of her wits about her to see a possible genuine red flag. A man that never says anything nice about his parents.
Being that this is the world of Evangelical Quiverfull it’s possible that they were overly harsh, using Michael Pearl’s advice they beat him every chance they got. He might have his reasons for being angry towards them. Being a parent does not give you a free pass with your adult children who feel that they’ve been abused. They don’t ‘owe’ you a relationship. He may well be reacting to a rotten and painful childhood. But we cannot determine that from these few lines.
Here’s the original letter:
Could be his personality is just bent towards the negative. I’m not sure since we’re never given much detail in these likely faked Pearl letters.
So what does Debi advise? Her answer is surprising less toxic than you might expect. She tells him to do that thing that is so, so, so rare in this culture – to talk to him. But she leavens that advice with warnings about bitterness instead of allowing that the man might have legitimate gripes and issues he needs to work though.
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