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Serena’s Serenity: Chapters Five, Six and Seven With House Explosions and Doll Stealing

Serena’s Serenity: Chapters Five, Six and Seven With House Explosions and Doll Stealing October 16, 2020

After yesterday’s double whammy of Serena whining we’re back with another exciting review post.

We start with Serena playing the organ at church, another improbability. Serena literally never practices in the book, not with others, not with worship team, yet we’re expected to believe she’s an expert. Then she states she misses her two hour practices. This goes on for literally ten pages of the book. Yawn. She’s triggered again at church remembering her dead child and she cries yet again.

After church there is chatter among the homeschooling families about various things homeschool related and someone says this:

“It’s thrilling to see results of homeschooling!”

Are we missing the word “the” between “see” and “results”? Because this book is rife with incorrect word usages, misspellings and other thing indicating that the author’s homeschooling education is sub optimal.

Serena refers to a recent graduate’s homeschool diploma bestowed by his parents as a “major head start.” As what? Assistant head pencil sharpener down at the factory?

We’re introduced to a “Suzanne” who had hopes of bagging this homeschool grad who was very disappointed he picked someone else.

Then we jump to work and after the work day where Serena and her friend Mrs. Kenaston decide to go out to eat at the Mexican restaurant. Pages and pages of squealing over fresh salsa and chips and other absurdities like one ordering a steak and Serena and her salad before Mrs. Kenston starts probing Serena about that exploding house.

Yeah, we want to know too, but Serena only vaguely mentions that the house was a money pit with everything always breaking down and Carl working two full time jobs to be able to afford it. I have to laugh because they tip the waiter with a tract with a couple of bills inside.

Pesky Suzanne approaches Serena on Wednesday night after church and we learn that Serena’s last name is “Callahan.” I am a third of the way through the book and this is the first time that’s come up? Suzanne is still moaning and gushing that the Godly homeschool grad picked someone else. Serena’s advice is to weep, pray and practice her piano. Thirsty husband wanting Suzanne leaves after a prayer and chapter five is finito!

In chapter six Serena spills the beans to Miss Emilij about her past, about having kids living with her family and this:

“Carl and I were already living as frugally as possible when we had a gas explosion that engulfed half of our home and killed our eight year old daughter.”

She goes on to confess to homeschooling her kids and other inanities not applicable to the job at hand. Miss Emili is kind, but professional towards her. Too bad Serena seems incapable of that in return.

“Miss Emili was always a stranger somehow. One moment she would actually be friendly until some internal switch suddenly transformed her into a rude authoritarian.”

Oh my, I have yet to see Emili acting rude and high handed. It’s clear that not only has the author never encountered rich people’s homes she’s never dealt with domestic help in any way.  She does not understand when you have people working for pay in your home it is better to be that friendly boss with a touch of remove. It keeps the roles distinctly delineated.

Waiting outside of Mrs. Kenason who is now referred to as Jerusha’s domestic gig Serena discovers the lady that Jerusha is working for is her former bestie of all time Bethany. She’s now a doctor married to another rich doctor. There is nattering about their shared homeschool support group while Serena thinks of Bethany’s expensive clothes and red sports car. Why do I think judgement is coming.

Chapter seven isn’t any better. Bethany shows up on the Huff’s doorstep and Serena goes right back to eye-scrogging jealously her friend’s clothing and jewelry. Bethany wants to hire Serena to play the piano at her black tie dinner in a few days. But oh, here we go, set up to judgementalism in three, two, one…

“Bethany complained as they walked. “My husband is never any help with these occasions. He won’t give me any suggestions or mingle well during my parties. I don’t know why I married an older man. I should have known he’d be no fun. He always says that he’d rather spend time with me and adopt a child. I don’t have time or the energy to have a baby,” she sighed disgustedly.”

Can you see the set up for the judgement coming? Bethany leaves after greeting Miss Emili. The next day Serena dares to play the Huff’s piano and this happens.

“First you entertain in my home. Then the very next day, you ignore the girls and play the piano.”

Miss Emili continues to fuss at Serena for her manifold wrongs. Serena responds by going home to weep and read her Bible, not apologizing for what she did at all. Not even a polite surface apology that would have defused the entire situation.

She shows up the next day at the Huffs and is amazed that Emili does not bring it up again. Serena claims to have apologized once and is ready to do it again, even if there was no apologizing just going on the page before! Crying, pondering, scriptures again after Emili leaves.

The girls throw their old dolls away because Daddy has bought them new ones. Serena fishes them out of the trash and puts them in Jerusha’s car andddddd we’re out.

I’ve seen more cohesive narratives from crackheads posting conspiracy theories on Facebook that in this book. Tomorrow car ponderings and more judgmentalism. At least she’s sort of knocked off the whining for now, limiting it to her prayer life. I can feel myself losing brain cells like I’m on some substance reading this thing.

Part 1  ~  Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4

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About Suzanne Titkemeyer
Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 34 years You can read more about the author here.

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