Sharing an image of my “Hillbilly” shot glass because whenever I read Tim Bayly’s whining thin-skinned masculinity rants I feel like filling the shot glass to the top with the tequila that comes in the bottle decorated with skeletons and drinking copiously.

One thing I can count on when we take a look at Tim Bayly’s writings on ‘Out of Our Minds’ – it’s always about not being perceived as ‘weak’ if you are a man. The strange sad thing is that it seems to only be weak men with the slimmest grasp of what masculinity truly is that talk this way.

Most men do not have to constantly go around defending and defining exactly what it entails to be a man. Most men never feel the need to lord it over everyone else that they possess a penis, so that they mistakenly believe this gives them rights over others. Most guys do not flip out at the idea of anyone ‘disrespecting’ their authority. Most men are secure enough in their own masculinity that they don’t need to be constantly worrying about it, measuring against everyone else’s.

But not in Evangelical Quiverfull. One gently spoken ‘No’ to sex at a reasonable moment somehow sets these guys off into rants on respect, and submission, and women in their place. This is the seventh piece in a long series that Tim Bayly has done about wives who refuse sex and it always all boils down to disrespect of manhood.

I guess no one ever gets truly sick, tired, overworked, or depressed in Bayly’s world. Women are supposed to be smiling ever acquiescing robotic beings, cooking, cleaning and making with the sex.

Their mother might model rebellion by not honoring, respecting, or submitting to her husband. If the children come of age in a house permeated by parents’ rebellion regardless of the particular nature of that rebellion, it’s little wonder the children themselves become rebels.

If God is the God of order, the rebellions in our marriages and households must be put down. If captains of ships discipline mutiny, why would a Christian husband and father tolerate it?

Tim goes further with his theme of disciplining mutiny without actually coming out and giving the Michael Pearl answer that involves physical abuse. But we all know that those captains of ships with mutinous sailors are not feeding them fried chicken and tucking them in with eiderdown quilts either.

Discipline usually involves pain. Sometimes physical, sometimes emotional. Deliberately inflicting pain upon others of any type is really no way to instill respect. It just drives the rebellion underground and makes those abused become much sneakier and craftier in their rebellion. It pretty much assures mutual destruction at some point.

Is that really what you want in your marriage? Fear and loathing?

Whatever happened to just talking to your spouse and attempting to iron out your problems together?

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