Let Your Children Do It All?

Let Your Children Do It All? September 7, 2019
Screen cap from You Tube.

We’re returning to a very familiar theme,  that as Quiverfull mommas the only way to cope is to turn over the running of the household to the minor children. Let your children do it all, at least according to Nancy Campbell of Above Rubies in a piece titled “More is Easier”.

What is it about these Quiverfull enforcers that many of them will write about the exact same thing at the same time? Hive mind?

Whatever happened to allowing children to actually be children with play time and not a pile of responsibilities?

I was talking to one lovely mother who is expecting her 10th baby. She shared with me a lovely testimony. On a recent Sunday morning at church some of the young mothers asked her how she survived with so many children.

“Oh, more is easier,” she replied.

“Truly?” they gasped in surprise.

She then shared with them her testimony of that very morning: “I hadn’t slept well last night and because I’m pregnant, I slept in a little later. When I got up, I noticed my 13-year-old daughter preparing breakfast and getting all the clothes ready for the other children to wear to church. Another daughter was looking after the baby. All was well.

“So I leisurely took a shower and then spent some time reading the Word. When I came out to the kitchen the breakfast was all waiting on the table and we sat down together.”

It is true that when you have many children, they are not all little toddlers! Each child grows every year. And each child you train to take a little more responsibility and do their specific tasks.

Each time a new baby comes along there are more and more arms wanting to hold the baby and play with him. There are more helpers to help with meals and keep the home running smoothly.

I think the most overwhelming time of motherhood is when you have your first two or three children. You have no helpers. But as children come along, you have more and more helpers. And yes, it’s true, more noise! But also more love, more cuddles, more joy and laughter, more entertainment, more playmates for your children, and more blessings.

It’s God’s way for family life.

No, this is not “God’s way” to turn your children into your own personal support staff! We’ve seen all the comments here from ladies and men forced into becoming household laborers at a time when they should have been playing with friends. Of a chore chart so onerous that they’d fall into bed exhausted at night.. Of a controlled life with out a moment to oneself.

This goes well beyond kids helping around the house, or having routine chores for an allowance. You might want your son to take out the trash and mow the lawn for his allowance, or a daughter to dust and fold laundry. But you’re not going to  pile the entire responsibility for running a home, cooking, raising children and other things on the slim shoulders of a child, unless you are Quiverfull.

Some might call this exploitation of child labor and they wouldn’t be wrong.


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NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

I Fired God by Jocelyn Zichtermann

13:24 A Dark Thriller by M Dolon Hickmon

About Suzanne Titkemeyer
Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 33 years. You can read more about the author here.
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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Friend

    So much wrong here, but let me point out a huge problem with the logic. By the fake1 mother’s own fake1 testimony, kids are not old enough to care for younger siblings until the mother delivers child #3 or #4. How old is child #1 at that point? Has Mother waited 5 years, or 10, to have her home-grown indentured servants1? And who trains the first several kids to care for infants?

    At the far end of the servant1-breeding1 cycle, the oldest children will marry and move out as teens or young adults, aband0ning Mother yet again to raise the last several children.

  • Aloha 2

    God’s way for families? If we look at creation, Mom has 2 breasts2 for 2 kids. Mom and Dad have a lap each for 2 kids.

    Note:. Just admired a FB pic of a couple of old friends … Each one with a baby on their lap. 2 kids is a nice family size for that.

  • French Pandora

    I told my sister that she should tie some rags on her toddler daughter and let her swipe the floor. The difference with a Quiverfull ? I was joking.

  • Saraquill

    I read a biography, Soviet Daughter,* which mentioned how the girl’s mother had a new child every two years. This so exhausted the mom that the girl was forced to drop out of 4th grade to serve as housekeeper, nurse and nanny. The lack of education made life hard for the girl when she reached adulthood and searched for paying work.

    She dropped out of school before the Russian Revolution. My guess is that there wasn’t much reliable birth control and few social safety nets. That US parents are inflicting this lifestyle on their kids 100 years later is appalling.

    *The artwork is muddy and the author isn’t good at creative non-fiction. I recommend it as a library read.

  • AFo

    It kills2 me that young children are expected to keep the entire household functioning, but adult men can throw tantrums, waste money, and not play any role in caring for the children or the household, simply because they’re “the man of the house.”

  • My mother was the oldest of nine. This was her childhood. So, when it was her turn, she raised one child (me). She was dead sick of raising kids, as she put it.

  • persephone

    Nancy, the Queen of Lies, lying again.

    Nancy illegally adopted kids from Africa to be house slaves.

  • persephone

    The was an old Sunday cartoon I have never forgotten. An older father is talking to some younger fathers at the park. He’s saying that with one child, you can pass back and forth, with two kids you go to one on one, with three you move to a zone defense, and with four you get a dog.

  • WallofSleep

    My family wasn’t Quiverfull, but we kids got put to work at a young age without any allowance. It’s mostly because my grandpa had to always be working on something, he just couldn’t sit still and take it easy. It wasn’t in his DNA. I wish I had half the hustle he did.

  • Jennifer

    Illegally??

  • Jennifer

    Daaang, bull’s eye.

  • Saraquill

    Kathryn Joyce has written about sketchy adoption practices, including the Campbells role in promoting unethical adoptions among QF families. I can’t link write now, but look up the author, as well as the title “Orphan Fever.”

  • Jenn H

    “I think the most overwhelming time of motherhood is when you have your first two or three children. You have no helpers.”

    A statement that reveals just how socially isolated these women are. The only way they think they can get people who help out is if she creates them herself.

  • Age-appropriate chores, absolutely.

    BUT!

    (And I cannot emphasize this enough)

    Adults need to do their own fare share of the housework, too. Yes, men, too.

  • Oh, Khenarthi! It’s that kind of shirt that makes the adoption community look bad!

  • Jennifer

    Oh yeah, I read her book Quiverfull when it came out and had the second book recommended to me; will definitely buy it, but I had no idea the Campbells were involved in what she described. Horrible!

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    Somewhere here I have a chart I made with the outcomes with each of the African adoptees. It’s not good.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer
  • SAO

    Why did anyone let them adopt so many kids? Serene has her own. I get you can’t stop someone from getting pregnant and keeping their kids, but you certainly can say no to so many adoptees.

  • SAO

    If you assume the mother had a baby every 2 years, then when #4 is born, #1 is 6, which is too young to be of much help. In the mean time, Mom has a newborn, a 2 yo, a 4 yo, and the 6 yo. If she doesn’t send #1 off to school, she has to homeschool, too. By the time #1 is 13, she has children ages 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, and 11. If she’s homeschooling, she should be teaching kindergarten, 2nd, 4th, 6th and 8th grades while pregnant and supervising a baby and a toddler.

    Please tell me how that is easier than having a 13 yo, a 9 yo and maybe a 7 yo, all in school, leaving Mom to get stuff done during the day (or, heaven forbid, going back to work part-time). The kids are now old enough to do chores. Sure, baby #9, with plenty of older sibs to provide help is easier than baby # 3, with 2 older sibs needing a lot of supervision and providing no help. But stopping at 2 or 3 is a HELL of a lot easier than filling up a house with small kids needing care.

    That 13 year old could have made breakfast for Mom in bed, regardless of whether she had ANY younger siblings at all.

  • Friend

    That 13 year old could have made breakfast for Mom in bed, regardless of whether she had ANY younger siblings at all.

    Excellent point.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    Because many of the “Christian” adoption agencies have no standards but being Christian, not readiness, not ability to raise, de nada, just that they are Christians.

  • persephone

    She went through some Christian charity that basically scoops up kids and transports them to the U.S. There’s no government oversight of any of this. These kids often disappear, are rehomed, abused, murdered, neglected.