Lori Alexander, Mixed Messages and Perfection

Lori Alexander, Mixed Messages and Perfection October 7, 2019

Image screencap from YouTube. Meme made on imgflp.com

This morning I ran up on a quite curious piece by Lori Alexander of The Transformed Wife. Why so odd? Because Lori, who has always preached perfection, is saying that perfection isn’t possible.

For a change she’s right, well, sort of right. One of the things I learned in my first toxic church is to never measure yourself against everyone else there. Because everyone else there was as imperfect as yourself, they are just better at hiding it.

Eventually you see that your perfect friends are imperfect and that’s absolutely fine! Perfection is boring anyway. There are no perfect people in this world. It’s all good.

Social media? This is something that is newer in our world, this competition to be the best-est most perfect everything online. I remember how irked I used to get at the blog of one Pioneer Woman Ree Drummond back in the early days of the interwebs pre-television show, before the cookbooks, the magazine and line of products at Wal Mart. I’d look at her posts and hope she’d have a horrid day filled with things going wrong left and right. Eventually I realized that reading her blog was an exercise in frustration and I stopped.

Never liked fake food, fake flowers or fake people.

But here’s the irony of Lori’s words here. Lori has posted oodles of videos of her home, how she boils perfect eggs (rather imperfectly), her gross-looking salads, her Christmas decorating, her kitchen remodel and a zillion other things, all the while claiming perfection.

Her claim that the Proverbs 31 woman was just an allegory to illustrate how to live might be true, but the womanhood Lori teaches is a lesser limited thing than the full life lived by this fictional woman.

And there it is, Lori’s daily heaping helping of blaming and shaming straight from the words of Paul. The more I look at the writings of Paul, the more convinced I am that they were never meant to be universally applied to all women throughout all of time.

I wish Lori would explain what she means by appearing shamefaced, because it makes no sense from here, like many of her ideas. Elevating the words of Paul above those of that rebellious Jesus again, who hung around with women, tax collectors and various other sinners.

It’s just way easier, happier and fulfilling to just simply be yourself. Lori will never be whoever it is she’s trying to emulate. Just like I would never be the Pioneer Woman even if I own a few pieces of that china now. And that’s alright.

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About Suzanne Titkemeyer
Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 33 years. You can read more about the author here.
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