Infertility Caused by Sin?

Infertility Caused by Sin? December 8, 2019

This is one of those screen caps posted by one of the men supporting some of the worse ideas of one Lori Alexander or The Transformed Wife. It’s obvious that there really nasty toxic ideas come out of her secretive chatroom and her Facebook page more than her blog.

It’s one of her regulars, a not very nice guy named Paul. He is telling a story that was only up on her social media almost no time at all before it was pulled down. Thankfully this is behavior he’s describing that violates HIPAA laws and no legitimate doctor would never go.

Lately between Lori, Debi Pearl, Suzanne Venker and the other female cultural enforcers there’s been a general bemoaning of women failing to produce very large family. Interestingly enough most of them have four or five children, not the huge piles they push on others.

They’ve blamed a pile of things for this lack of children, not wanting to understand for many it is simply household finances. We’ve ended up with a society where costs have risen without a corresponding rise in wages that means in some families it takes both mom and dad working two jobs just to keep food on the table and a roof overhead.

Paul Dorr and a pile of others have decided it’s all about sin, that sin has rendered women infertile. One of the troubling ideas that routinely rolls out of Evangelical thought is that we cause all the bad things that happen to us by sin, instead of what it genuinely is, the bad luck of the genetic draw, medical issues beyond our control, an upside down financial world and a million other things.

There is nothing more frustrating than dealing with infertility and having others blaming you for your inability to have children.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Yesterday at NLQ we had an attack by one of Lori Alexander’s supporters, a guy that has issued death threats against me at places like Amazon, emails, other places and yesterday he posted on NLQ 127 times. Only 14 of them passed the toxicity filter. The rest were all caught by the filter. I know we gripe about the filter here, and it can be frustrating, but I just wanted to note that it works when it’s supposed to. When that happens I think the filter is awesome! It catches the spammers with their love potions, it catches the death threat guys. Sometimes it catches regulars who sprinkle the eff word in like salt and pepper, so try not to do that.

After that this guy decided his best course of action was to take to other Patheos blogs, some modded by friends of mine, to complain about me. Shine on you crazy diamond! I spoke with the police in his town and he may well be finding himself charged if he continues.

I laugh at “You s*ck” comments. I take death threats seriously.

When I have to spend several hours on a busy day cleaning that garbage off the board I throw my hands up and wonder if anything is worth this. There are times when I feel like completely walking away from what I do here, but then I remember things like last week talking of toxic marriage and seeing discussions going on in Christian female boards supporting that abuse is wrong. That makes it all worth it for me, to see that even the bulk of believers does not embrace the toxic theology being promoted by some folks.

I will not stop what I am doing because of harassing men!

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Comments open below

NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

I Fired God by Jocelyn Zichtermann

13:24 A Dark Thriller by M Dolon Hickmon

About Suzanne Titkemeyer
Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 33 years. You can read more about the author here.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • SAO

    So, a doctor who treats fertility claims success with repentance (and medical treatment)? Reminds me of all the cancer patients cured by prayer (and radiation therapy and chemotherapy).
    Oddly enough, despite the gazillions of testimonials to the power of prayer, repentance of sin, and natural foods, the people who don’t also get medical treatment tend to have poor outcomes.

    That said, I call BS on the story. Assuming the couple got married when she was 20, 25 years later, she’s 45, an age when most women experience a steep decline if not an end to their fertility. Even if she married at 17, she might be experiencing age-related infertility at 42. And, in 25 years of not having children, she sees a fertility doctor in her 40s? Who does that?

    In the mean time, God ‘blesses’ plenty of sinners with more kids than they want. Think of Trump donor Elliot Broidy and Playboy Centerfold Karen McDougal. Did God ‘bless’ them with a pregnancy because they were free from sin? Did he send the pregnancy as a punishment? (thus using the innocent embryo as a tool)? Or maybe, pregnancy and fertility have just about zip to do with ‘sin’.

    Suzanne, you should be careful about talking about where you live. Or giving clues.

  • Martin Penwald

    It’s funny how these jerks4jesus write “marxist”, “communist” or “leftist” when what they want to write is “people I disagree with”.

  • Allison the Great

    Yeah, they like to throw those around. It’s like “congratulations, you know a couple of words that end in “ist. Maybe before you use them next time you’ll read up on what they actually mean.”

  • Jim Jones

    > she sees a fertility doctor in her 40s? Who does that?

    Fictional people in dishonest anecdotes. Meanwhile thanks to the efforts of “pro-life” warriors, the US has an abortion rate for young women 6 times higher than Holland.

  • greenturtle36

    If infertility were caused by sin, there would be no pregnancies. There are far too many horrible parents, for that to be true. But way to try feeling superior…

  • I am sorry you were threatened – that’s horrifying.

    The last thing my friends struggling with infertility needed was being judged for the issues they were having. And for those who choose not to have more children, they don’t need to be judged either. Each family should be able to make their own choices about family size.

  • I may have to use that on Facebook…

  • Raging Bee

    Right…abortion causes infertility, but confessing to it magically reverses the curse?

    What if the husband already knew about the abortion? Would that make the confession less potent?

    These loons give magical thinking a bad name.

  • Delta

    Whatever happened to “we are all sinners” or whatever?

  • critter8875

    I got pregnant at age 41, and I was/am definitely a “sinner”.

  • Mark Bradshaw

    “Right…abortion causes infertility, but confessing to it magically reverses the curse?” —– Nope. Confession is simply admitting that you did something immoral/wrong. it is generally the first step in the process of repentence.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    Yep, I get that, but it would literally be like one of these guys looking for a needle in the haystack. A million beach towns here, I live in a gated community with an armed guard at the gate and we’re behind a 12 foot high fence with broken glass on top. That’s two fences and one gun to surmount. The place has alarms and motion detectors, I have dogs and am armed. Just figuring out where I live in a place without directions would be impossible, but I’m pretty sure Jose at the gate would stop them.

  • Friend

    So 1) they try to marry kids off young to maximize breeding1, 2) have a stated goal of outbreeding1 their fecund1 “inferi0rs,” 3) claim that God rewards the sinless with fertility1, and 4) don’t notice the contradiction.

  • Marie

    So like what sins did her daughter, Alyssa, repent of to make her infertility go away? What a horrible story and post by Lori. I feel horrible for her daughter whenever she posts stuff like that.

  • Nancy

    I wish Dorr were not a real person but sadly I’ve lived in his neck of the woods since before 2000. He was ranting about the end of the world and selling dry foods so one could survive the turn of the century. Lately he has taken to burning books that talk about acceptance of the LGBTQ people.

  • LeekSoup

    The idea that infertility is linked to sin is straight out of The Handmaid’s Tale. The plank pushing this is not even original!

    Don’t give up Suzanne. You’re getting to them! And a lot more people appreciate what you do than you realise. I learn a heckuva lot from your blog. Thank you for writing.

  • SAO

    Glad to hear that.

  • RainbowPhoenix

    On behalf of my mother and grandmother, who both had problems with fertility: *flips off Lori and her allies*

  • B.A.

    So am I.

  • B.A.

    Same for my mother. She would gladly tell Lori where to go and what to do with herself,if Lori ever messed with her!

  • Raging Bee

    That doesn’t answer my questions.

  • Saraquill

    My aunts and Suzanne are way better people that the poster above.

  • Mark Bradshaw

    Your questions are nonsense at best and got the answer they deserve.

  • Jennifer

    Oh fun, another lecturing troll.

  • Mark Bradshaw

    LOL. Stating the obvious is “lecturing”?

  • Mel

    Repentance – yes. Treating a medical condition – no.

  • Mel

    We are all sinners. They are not.

  • Mel

    I’m really curious how the doctor was sure that sexual sins caused infertility. Sure, some untreated STDs can cause problems conceiving due to fallopian scarring – but I’m old enough to know several women who only had sex with their husbands who found out he was cheating from a positive STD check.

    He can repent all he wants – but that’s not going to undo damage to the fallopian tubes.

    But honestly – the story sounds like an urban myth or a just-so story for the prudish and judgemental rather than a real life story.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    You are starting off on a very bad foot here if you are attacking others. Take it down a notch with the blaming or the ban bus comes along. We do not allow personal insults here

  • AFo

    Because of course a woman struggling with getting pregnant needs to hear that it’s her fault for some supposed sin2. That’ll make things easier.

    Their casual cruelty never ceases to amaze me.

  • Friend

    You probably know this, but in case others do not… there’s deliberate medical disinformation spread to young women, especially in “pro-life1” circles and facilities. Conservative Christians were against the HPV1 vaccine.

  • Emersonian

    That is possibly the dumbest thing i have ever read quoted on this website, and that is really saying something. If your doctor is using the phrase “triune god” and or “barren womb2” you may need to check the settings on your time machine.

    Also, thanks Suzanne for what you put up with to keep this site up and running. I read it because I’m fascinated by the weirdness that is quiverful, but I know a lot of folks here read it because they have been through so much at the hands of people like Paul, Lori, Doug, et al. Bringing this stuff out from under its rock benefits all of us. Thanks for doing it.

  • Mark Bradshaw

    To what medical condition are you referring?

    Abortion is morally wrong because it intentionally kills an innocent human being.

  • Mark Bradshaw

    Who have I attacked or insulted? I simply called the Bee’s comments nonsensical.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    Clearly you have not read our comment policy. We do not allow moral judgements on personal choices here. OR proselytizing. You come here to promote your flavor of Mohammed, Jesus or Buddha and bad things happen.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    Thanks. I love all you ladies and gentlemen here.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    You know you misspelled “Repentance” back in your first comment. I would not start patting myself on the back over your logic if I were you.

    I looked at your defense of George Zimmerman on other Disqus comment boards and your inane promotion of gun violence. Please take yourself away from here. You’ve gone well off topic.

  • Jennifer

    She’s clearly referring to infertility, the main topic here. If the so-called doctor in the story exists, he had NO business giving patients a moral and BS lecture about confession curing infertility. THAT is the topic here, lying to people in order to guilt them. Everyone who’s read the title knows that.

  • Jenn H

    So sin is an effective contraceptive. How does anyone get pregnant then?

  • 24CaratHooligan

    Amen sister! Keep up the good work, you’re doing jolly well old girl xx

  • 24CaratHooligan

    Even better, a MANSPLAINING troll. I too can state the obvious…

  • Delta

    Ah, of course!

  • Friend

    The mind boggles! How does Paul Dorr’s medical info square with former Rep. Todd Akin’s equally valid claim that “if it’s a legitimate r@pe1, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”

    Where would we turn without such wise men to show us the way? Maybe our Bibles are missing the verse that tells where a woman’s on/off switch is…

  • Mel

    Infertility. The title of the piece is “Infertility is caused by sin”. The doctor allegedly treats infertility through prayer and repentance rather than standard medical tests for hormone levels and checking for intact tubes and such.

  • Raging Bee

    Basically it’s just a restatement of the same old pre-germ-theory prejudice about diseases being God’s punishment for…something or other.

  • Raging Bee

    Um, no, it kills a nonsentient clump of cells that might become a human being, if its bearer chooses to let it.

  • Raging Bee

    In fairness, his presence may be partly my fault: I debunked some nonsensical gun-rights-fetishist arguments on Gateway Pundit, and quite a few of them got triggered and started following me about to throw their tantrums and make themselves feel relevant. So they are, quite literally, the Internet equivalent of sh1t2 on my shoes. Sorry for tracking it in here…

  • CamasBlues

    *rolls eyes* If these ignorant, arrogant, selfaborbed chuckle nuts ever actually consulted real medical data they’d find that about half the time it is the men who have fertility problems. But religious zealots like to blame it all on women. There is no blame to go around – it’s just an unfortunate breakdown of biology.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    It happens. Ryan Messano was here because I told him on Amazon that he had no business reviewing a book he admitted he had not read. These hard core male nutcases always stroll in from someone else after anyone hurts their ladyparts and start ranting. It is amusing at least half the time.

  • Raging Bee

    Theology is the art of pretending there’s no contradiction, because God is always right. Christian theology, that is, certainly not that barbaric Muslim stuff…

  • Raging Bee

    You weren’t doing it right!

  • Friend

    Honestly, I don’t mind it when ancient texts are hard to reconcile. What I don’t like is modern malarkey.

  • Clancy

    FYI, Mark Bradshaw was banned by another mod over at RtD.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    Ha ha in a Nelson Munce voice. These guys are just so stupid2 in how they go about spreading the word of Jesus. Smug self-righteousness bites them on the behind again.

  • Clancy

    Not all the regular commenters at RtD are atheists, but the drive-by trolls don’t last long. They fall afoul of Rule 0 of the Rules of Engagement, “Be excellent to each other.”

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    I redid the comment policy here and put “Don’t be a jerk”2 as the main rule. Plus side rules for Duggar fans and Steven Anderson supporters. Finally got around to putting “No Mansplaining” and “No calling anyone a Feminazi or Marxist et al” It all flows out of don’t be a dick2.

  • DoctorDJ

    “I will not stop what I am doing because of harassing men!”
    Hang tight, Suzanne, and know that we love you out here in the ether-web-world. Keep up the good work!

  • persephone

    If sin caused infertility9, there wouldn’t be any teen pregnancies9. There wouldn’t be any surprises with DNA tests in families. Not a single child born outside of marriage that took place between two virgins who never even looked at another person in a lust9ful way.

  • persephone

    Thank you. I’m feeling better now. Thank you for doing this. It eats up so much of your time.

  • persephone

    Now the Russians9 are involved with spreading anti9vax and anti PrEP disinformation.

  • persephone

    It does not. God is pro-abortion9. That’s been made clear. It’s not a human being. It potentially could become a human being, but failure to implant and spontaneous abortion9 end about 75% of fertile eggs. God really doesn’t seem to care about possible humans. He doesn’t even care about babies. Toddlers are more his speed.

  • MB

    ~~snippity do dah – please take a break from your idiotic mansplaining abortion to a bunch of women~~

  • MB

    ~~ Mark Bradshaw is on a permanent time out from NLQ~~

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    You have registered just to post here. One of your comments is caught in the toxicity filter, which means Patheos has deemed it too offensive to post and you dare attack another commenter. Clearly you are on the one that did not read the new comment policy. It says flat out to not act like a dick2.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    Mark Bradshaw, you can keep resetting your IP address but I will keep banning.

  • Raging Bee

    THEIR JEZEBEL SPIRIT MAKES US INFERTILE!!! /s

  • Cynthia

    When I was going through the worst of my miscarriage odyssey, a reaction from a health care provider like that – or even reading a suggestion like that – would have sent me off the edge.

    The only thing worse than the pain of the problem itself is the fact that you have no control over what is happening but still feel guilty and afraid of being blamed.

    Lori’s daughter went through years of infertility before having her baby a few months ago. I wouldn’t be surprised, if she is enabling toxic stuff like that, if her daughter wanted minimal contact.

  • lady_black

    The first thing he should be doing, is checking the husband’s sperm count. It’s easily done, inexpensive, non-invasive, and it will catch about half of the problem of infertility. In some cases, it’s the woman, in some cases, it’s the man. In some cases, it’s BOTH of them, and together they make their own cornucopia of infertility.

  • lady_black

    This guy is a Jerk2. No doubt about it. I can’t see his comments, because I have him blocked, and I only block jerks who are incapable of honest debate.