Would You Ask This Woman Advice on Anal Anything?

Would You Ask This Woman Advice on Anal Anything? December 2, 2019

This is hopefully the last time I’ll inflict The Transformed Wife Lori Alexander on anyone all week. Hopefully she will not up ante and go completely cult leader drinking the poisoned koolaid more than she always has. Sorry about this one, I could not resist! Trust me, I am going somewhere with Lori’s health advice on anal sex. It’s about health advice in Quiverfull and other high demand religions/organizations.

I have to consider that this is likely a reaction to being fooled by an image from an adult film masquerading as one of her ‘Tattooless Debt Free Virgins” Now she’s ranting about anal sex and making some seriously doubtful claims.

I’m confused. Isn’t this the same woman that recently told women to be modest, discrete and not to discuss these sorts of things in public? Said this is just not something good Christian women needed to discuss in public. Well, at least after she posted repeatedly about ten minutes and lube and hinted that she weighs her excrement to determine her health.

Just not getting the why here. Or why Lori decided she must couch a personal sexual choice that is no one else’s business in the language of health care. A false claim made as if it is an established medical fact.

But it leads me to a discussion on health in general and woo health advice as it relates to Quiverfull. During my years in QF I had heard more contradictory health advice, seen some of it take out friends of mine (Hello orange from living on carrots man who died from cancer and gray woman living on silver!) to the point where discussion of chemotherapy and radiation options with a friend was shouted down as ‘demonic’ She died slowly, painfully, without any medical attention before her husband got a new Corvette and a twenty years younger bride.

Lori, and others like Debi Pearl, refuse to consider any real legitimate medicine or treatment going for the “woo” every time. How does that happen? Luckily I had a front seat to see how a recent ‘woo’ trend happened.

Out of frustration over being constantly bombarded by bogus treatment information and medicines being pushed by a pile of people I joined a Facebook group named “Hold Space For My Tribe” It’s a comedy-parody site that pokes at everything woo and strangely cult like. Almost every single time I share something from there page people are confused on if it’s real, that’s how close it cuts sometimes.

Parody is sometimes a powerful way to oppose the wrongs of our society.

Shortly after I joined they posted a meme, just one of many, depicting a man displaying his anus to the sun with lots of babbling about recharging that way. I laughed, and moved on to look at something else. They shared it a handful of times until about a year ago.

Here’s the meme sanitized for publication at Patheos.

About six months ago it started popping up as legitimate health advice in some of the more radical out there yoga groups. I laughed and wondered who could possibly be gullible enough to do this.

Then yesterday happened, and on Facebook there was a news article about the actor Josh Brolin claiming he had sunburned his perineum doing this very thing! From joke meme making fun of woo to embrace by alternate healthers and injury to their followers in just under  a year.

It’s a good lesson on how things can be taken completely out of context on the internet, and find their harmful way into the lexicon of health. Beware health advice from non-scientific sources please!

Which leads us to Debi Pearl and her claims of Michael Pearl being healed of a stroke by receiving Stem Cell treatments. Treatments that are not FDA approved, are quite illegal in the United States, exploit the desperate for large sums of money and are proven to be harmful to some people. She’s promoting these types of treatments at No Greater Joy and in her new book “Create a Better Brain Through Neuroplasticity”

Woo people have pushed those unregulated stem cell clinics to yours truly, but a little research shows one what quackery they truly are.

Debi’s book. A book written by taking a pile of internet articles and twisting them to be about as truthful as the meme I posted above. Without sound science, years of proper testing protocols or anything else. But the problem with using Debi’s advice, or Lori Alexander’s medical advice is that you’re likely to end up with something worse than a sunburned perineum, something with lasting lifetime complications.

There’s a reason doctors go through many years of education followed by more years as interns and residents. Why the FDA had testings protocols in place. Why treatments aren’t just rubber stamped through willy nilly. It’s for our protection.

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NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

I Fired God by Jocelyn Zichtermann

13:24 A Dark Thriller by M Dolon Hickmon

About Suzanne Titkemeyer
Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 33 years. You can read more about the author here.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Tawreos

    Maybe Lori would like to explain why the male G-spot2 is in there if nothing was intended to enter.

  • Desperate Ambrose

    “[T]hey posted a meme, just one of many, depicting a man displaying his anus2 to the sun…”

    Mooning the sun. Gotta appreciate the humor in that.

  • Desperate Ambrose

    “[D]iscussion of chemotherapy and radiation options with a friend was shouted down as ‘demonic’.”

    Been there. I actually had a friend tell me once that I shouldn’t be taking anti-depressants because φαρμακεία (pharmakeia) was the Greek word for both drugs and sorcery, therefore the use of any drug is forbidden because it’s sorcery.

    I kid you not.

  • Michael Neville

    This NSFW song by Garfunkel and Oates is appropriate:


  • Michael Neville

    Why a word in a language I don’t speak should affect my health choices is something only the truly fervent can understand.

  • Desperate Ambrose
  • Desperate Ambrose

    That song is a HOOT! And all this time, I thought I was the only one who knew about it! : – D

  • Mimc

    Did you tell them to mind thier own business? Because I feel like that would be completely justified.

  • Desperate Ambrose

    Oh, no. He’s a friend, and I know he meant well. I thanked him for his concern and told him that my church, along with almost all Christian churches that I am aware of, has no problem with the use of drugs to heal.

    And that was the end of it.

  • Jennifer

    ‘She died slowly, painfully, without any medical attention before her husband got a new Corvette and a twenty years younger bride.”

    I hope he runs it into a 1freaking tree.

  • Desperate Ambrose

    People who bring only a modern understanding to biblical languages are, at best, confused; and, at worst, dangerous.

  • Desperate Ambrose
  • Desperate Ambrose

    “[T]he anus2 was not made for intercourse.”

    Does that mean the anus1 was?

  • Michael Neville
  • ♎Adamas

    What happens when you live your life by a book written through the medieval version of Google Translate.

  • ♎Adamas

    I often moonbathe in the nude2, I much prefer mooning the moon.

  • frostysnowman

    That’s a classic.

  • (((J_Enigma32)))

    Maybe he should avoid grammar, too.

    After all, “grammar” comes from the Old French “gramarie,” which means “magician and sorcerer” or “a book of spells.” This meaning still survives in Scots, where it’s called “gramarye” and refers to magic and sorcery. It’s also tied to “glamour” through the word “glamer” (you can see the connection, if you make the /r/ –> /l/ switch so many people like to rag on East Asians for doing), so he’ll want to avoid “glamorous” things as well. If you’ve ever seen the word “grimoire”, that’s where it come from: gramarie, so grimoire and grammar, along with glamour, are all linguistic siblings tied to a word that referred to sorcery and magic.

  • RainbowPhoenix

    The whole quiverfull movement makes my blood boil. My mother wanted four children before she turned thirty, but after two miscarriages ended up with three before she turned forty. I shudder to imagine what things would have been like for her if we were a quiverfull family.

  • Mimc

    You are more patient than I would be. I think I’d have been a bit rude.

  • Martin Penwald

    If it was a one-way street, suppositories wouldn’t work.

  • AFo

    Strange that Lori is so disgusted by the anus2, seeing as that’s where her head seemingly spends most of its time.

  • Desperate Ambrose
  • Desperate Ambrose

    Oh, I dunno. I like to think that modern scholarship, at least, is a bit more thorough than that. My personal go-to translation is the New Jerusalem Bible.

    In any event, as a professor of mine once said, Christians are not “people of the Book”; we are “People of the Spirit”. Or, as St. Paul put it:

    “For the ones that God will justify are not those who have heard the Law but those who have kept the Law. So, when gentiles, not having the Law, still through their own innate sense behave as the Law commands, then, even though they have no Law, they are a law for themselves. They can demonstrate the effect of the Law engraved on their hearts, to which their own conscience bears witness; since they are aware of various considerations, some of which accuse them, while others provide them with a defence . . . on the day when, according to the gospel that I preach, God, through Jesus Christ, judges all human secrets.” ~ Romans, 2:13-16 (emphasis added)

  • Desperate Ambrose

    I don’t let people get close very readily; so, when those to whom I am close say something awkward, I know it’s because they care about me.

  • SAO

    Who would listen to any medical advice by the CPM crowd? At best, you’d be getting the result of Google filtered through someone whose science knowledge is whatever their high school or homeschool taught decades ago. More likely, it would be filtered through someone whose homeschool curriculum left them with barely a 6th grade understanding of science who altered any facts they didn’t agree with.

    ScienceBasedMedicine is a bood site for finding a discussion of the scientific proof of treatments.

  • B.A.

    I wouldn’t listen to anyone’s advice who attended The Quiverfull School of Kitchen Table.

  • Jim Jones

    Bad advice. She forgot to say about the lube2: use lots.

    But it does make me wonder where her mind is at.

    ‘Lube2’ is a bad word? Holy crap2!!

  • Jim Jones

    And these people vote!

    There’s a term for “alternative medicine” that works.

    It’s called ‘medicine’.

  • Sassafras
  • Martin Penwald

    It’s not a French school. There is no flag inside classroom, and if there was it would be correctly affixed to the pole. Second, students desks are habitually two by two. We don’t have that much room to waste. :p

  • Martin Penwald

    Old French, the ones without who you’ll still pledge allegiance to the queen :p

  • I’m not touching this one.

  • Saraquill

    I recently read an excerpt from a mainstream bestseller explaining why antidepressants are evil, kill1 emotions and suppress women. I did a mental “funk you” to the author and didn’t buy it.

  • Saraquill

    Some atheists1 could stand to hear that as well. There was a meme some shared regarding the anu5 and genital5 that I got sick of through sheer overuse.

  • Desperate Ambrose

    : – D

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    Is it wrong that when I first read her little screed all I could think of was a video called “FDA” from an old site newgrounds.com involving the anal2. It had lyrics like “I’ve got to lube2 you up, I’ve got to use two fingers first, if I don’t you’re gonna curse”

  • thatotherjean

    Right this minute, that sounds pretty good. Except that the UK has its own share of big, stupid, self-inflicted problems, too.

  • Jennifer

    I guess every nation does.

  • Jennifer

    They also seem to love having the 1perineum touched, and of course the regular 2shaft. In short..eh, easy to please?

  • Martin Penwald

    With probably Bojo the clown reelected shortly…

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    I’m sorry. I keep reading about Boris and Brexit, and it’s all the British expats here can talk about. I’m sorry our stupidity is spreading.

  • Raging Bee

    I would have moved all copies of that book to a “fiction” table, just like I’ve done with Ann Coulter’s overpriced paper-sewage.

  • Mark in Ohio

    I know I’m a bit late to the party here, but I have to point out the irony of Debi touting an unapproved stem cell treatment, when she’s no doubt strongly anti-abortion, the same group of deranged fanatics that have blocked funding for stem cell research.

  • persephone

    I follow Dr. Jen Gunter on Twitter. I know how stupid people are.

  • swimmerkw

    I guess Scientologists are getting in on showing their bottoms to the sun as well. https://otviiiisgrrr8.com/2019/12/04/bodhi-elfman-and-the-secret-of-scientology-anus-whitening/

  • blowingoffgodot

    If you sunburn your perineum while exposing your anus2 to sunlight, you deserve what you get.

  • Jennifer A. Nolan

    YOUR stupidity? Are you sure you’re any worse than us U.S. types?

  • Jennifer

    Trying to signal the spaceship to return?

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    Welcome to Jerks 4 Jesus yet again you rear end carbuncle of stupidity.