Unfortunately, many of us marry without obtaining critical information about our partners. For instance, we may not know that our father-in-law is a substance abuser or that our mother-in-law has a family history of mental illness. Sadly, we may put our faith in someone who we fall in love with blindly and fail to ask some of these crucial questions. 6 questions to ask potential marital partners: 1. Who are their parents? Include questions about marital history, mental illness and... Read more
During our first counseling session, Angie broke down in tears as she talked about her ex-boyfriend Dean bailing out after just six months of dating. She knew that Dean didn’t particularly like children (and she had two teenage girls) but she was head over heels in love and continued in the relationship much too long. Angie reflects: “Dean’s a great guy but he told me from the start that he didn’t want to marry someone with kids and he just... Read more
Hello Terry, I’ve been married 31 years and feel sad about the fact that my husband and I are no longer as close as we used to be. We live in the same house but don’t eat meals together or go out in public as a couple. This started when our youngest child left for college two years ago. We used to eat meals with her and occasionally watch TV shows together but that stopped gradually. My husband says he... Read more
When Karina scheduled an appointment for counseling she stated, “I’m not sure whether to end my marriage, and need help looking for some signs that it’s over after several difficult years.” I then scheduled her appointment and told her that I would need to collect more information to answer her question completely. During our first appointment, and reviewing all of the information Karina gave me, I told her that she was wise not to make this decision lightly and... Read more
Many couples struggle with regrettable incidents and argue about the same things over and over again. While it’s tempting to attack your partner when you feel hurt or frustrated, it can lead to misunderstandings and emotional detachment. That said, you’ll get the love you want by focusing on listening rather than defending your position. Try to adopt a “we’re in this together” approach to communication and your relationship will improve over time. For instance, if John says to Casey “I... Read more
One of the biggest mistakes that remarried couples make is that they expect that things will run on automatic and love with conquer all problems that arise. For instance, my second husband, Craig, swept me off my feet and I was blindsided when we started having arguments about money, parenting, and relationships with our ex-partners after the first year of our marriage. Expect plenty of storms in remarried life. The complications of a newly created stepfamily or blended family can... Read more
Dear Terry, I’m engaged and considering getting married in a few months to a man who I’ve been dating for about a year. A few of my friends have questions about Todd because he sometimes lets me down and doesn’t follow through on all of his promises. But we have a lot in common and share the same goals. We both value fidelity and want to have a family. We do argue often but usually make up and don’t stay... Read more
Just because you are smitten with your new love, it doesn’t mean that your kids will share your positive feelings. In fact, children of divorce often feel rivalry with their parents’ love interests, especially the first few years after the divorce. Children need time to adjust to their parents’ split, and it can take at least two years for them to get over anger, sadness, and other emotions. Dating after divorce can be exciting, but when you have children it’s a... Read more
Experts advise us that adolescence is a time of transition from being a child to establishing an identity different from your parents. This normal process can become more complicated as teens experience the breakup up their parents’ marriage. Although it may take them about a year to adjust to your divorce, feelings of sadness or anger may reappear during stressful times such as taking exams or a parents’ remarriage – even if they’re coping fairly well overall. Some of... Read more
In the seemingly never-ending age of COVID-19, many couples are experiencing an all-new and ever-changing set of challenges. Beyond obvious health concerns, the happiness and emotional security of marriages is threatened by countless unknowns that were not a part of daily life prior to the pandemic. For instance, Danielle, 45, works in a nursing home and worries about getting the virus and bringing it home since many of her patients and co-workers have it. This makes her day-to-day life with... Read more
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In