“Satan created no man; God created no sin. But I’m a gay Christian. So … ?”

entrepreneur-593371_1280 (1)Hi, friends. The letter below came to me from the Not All Like That (NALT) Christians Project* website. I’m sharing it (with the author’s permission, of course) so that people who made NALT videos would see some of the good they’re putting out in the world. Such letters to NALT are not uncommon. They move us every time, as this one certainly did.

Dear NALT:

I am a 40 year old gay man. More importantly, I am a Christian. As a teenager, I was so scared of me because of what I was being taught about homosexuality. I spent years praying, begging, and pleading with God to “fix” me. I hated who I was, and was so scared someone would find out. I kept it hidden. I dated women and hurt them emotionally. It was a continuous pattern until I turned 27. That’s when I hit rock bottom. I was severely unhappy and I was the only person who knew why.

I made the decision to end my life.

I got up one morning and went to work and came home after work as I did every day. At home, I sat down and made a list of ways I could end my life. I came up with seven ways that I could do relatively easy there at home. After making my list, I cleaned my house, ate dinner, watched some television and eventually got into bed that night with the intention of getting up the next morning and choosing an option on my list and following through with it.

God had other plans. That night, my sister literally broke into my house. I know that sounds bad, but she had been worried about me for a while; all she was doing was checking on me. I awoke when she climbed beside me in my bed.

She scared me, because she was crying. We talked. I came out to her, and she did not curse at me. She did not disown me. She told me that she loved me.

I believe that God sent her to me. I believe that God saved me from myself.

Now, I have tried to share my story and some people have appreciated what I went through and understand it. Others completely disagree with what I believe. They tell me that homosexuality is a sin, so God would not have saved me.

The problem that I have always had with homosexuality being a sin is that I have always been this way. I was taught from an early age that Satan did not create any man, and that God did not create any sin, so I was always confused about where I came from. I know right from wrong, and I help others when I can and I try to show people the same love and respect that I would like in return. But all I seem to see is hateful, negative remarks and comments about homosexuality, so they are about me.

That is why I am sending this lengthy message to you all. I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate what you are doing. There is no way I can put into words what this all means to me. I am sitting here with tears in my eyes feeling so blessed and thankful that you all are out there trying to help educate people about the love of God as well as the struggles that gay and lesbian teens face in our society today. It is good to know that God is working with us and through us each and every day.

God bless you all and thank you, again.


* Launched in September 2013, the purpose of the Not All Like That (NALT) Christians project is to give any and all LGBT-affirming Christians a means of sharing their belief that there is nothing at all anti-biblical or sinful about being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. Learn more here.

A heartfelt thank-you to the good people at Christian Feminism Today, a NALT partner organization, nine of whose members last week sent in the NALT videos they recorded at the 2014 EEWC-Christian Feminism Today Conference in St. Louis, Missouri. You can see those videos at the end of the drop-down video playlist you’ll find on the NALT website, or by visiting the NALT YouTube page.

If you’re unfamiliar with the NALT Project, here’s a sample/compilation of the videos submitted to it:

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • BarbaraR

    They tell me that homosexuality is a sin, so God would not have saved me.

    This kind of thing just makes me start barking. If it’s a suicide intervention that certain Christians believe God is interested in, then yes! Then God is at work to save you from suicide over financial problems, or your spouse having an affair, or depression over the death of a child. Suicide over being gay – nope, God ain’t gonna step in to prevent that. That’s too depraved for God to care about. *Rolls eyes heavily*

    Letter writer – thanks for sharing your story. It will make an impact on those who are struggling with the same things you went through.

  • RonnyTX

    Thank you Barbara,for your words. :-) And I know what you mean. For I also got to the point of thinking of suicide;but when I did,God immediately replaced that thought in my mind,with the following verse of scripture! :-) And I knew then,that no matter what, everything was going to be OK. :-)

    “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God,to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

  • RonnyTX

    Like that one,like it a lot! :-)

  • Matt

    …Satan did not create any man, and that God did not create any sin…

    Wow. Talk about something to chew on. Thank you very much for writing.

  • Karl

    The gay guilt trap. I think about my thoughts after 28 years of hetro-sexual activity, have they all been pure thoughts? Me thinks not. I do speculate how the male / female roll translates in heaven?

  • lymis

    Among everything else, Yay Sis!

  • TERRANCE MAKATE

    God certainly did not create sin but he created a perfect world before the devil turned what God had created . Pray again but only this time if you truly want results in your life don’t be defensive nobody is perfect that’s why we all have fallen short of his Glory and all are in need of Christ what the bible says you are then by all means that what you should be perfect in Christ what happened to the men of sodom.about GOD saving you from suicide l think he did for the purpose of giving you a chance to change

  • http://allegro63.wordpress.com/ allegro63

    So you created a Disqus account just to come here and proselityze….goody

  • Snooterpoot

    My suggestion is that you open your heart to the loving god that so many of us have found. You seem to worship an angry, merciless and vengeful god.

    If that works for you, fine. You’d be a lot happier, though, if you looked for love and not for the faults in others.

  • TERRANCE MAKATE

    is it that God is not still looking for good in us or maybe Jesus abolished then commandments and then allowed for room to be what we want to be regardless of what we should be

  • Snooterpoot

    What we should be is followers of Christ. What we should not be is Pharisaical hypocrites who get their jollies out of telling others what they should be.

    It’s that simple.

    Open your heart to Jesus’ love if you dare to let go of your own biases.