A very short chapter today from Lori Alexander’s book ‘The Power of the Transformed Wife’, but one that is truly horrifying, filled with half-truths and lots of bad advice. The title is ‘Birth Control and Having Children’. It should be called ‘Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire’ instead.
We start with Lori claiming that since men are always ready for sex and women crave sex the most when they are ovulating that this means God wants us all to have as many children as possible as soon as possible.
Then she moves on to the not so truth-filled part of her chapter – the side effects of any type of birth control. Lori repeats the easily debunked lie that birth control pills cause tiny little abortions. Numerous science-based organizations show this claim to be a lie. Pills prevent the implantation of the egg, fertilized or not, into the lining of the uterus. If you pass a fertilized egg because it naturally failed to implant, and it does happen, that’s not the same thing as an abortion.
Being on the pill has also been shown to lower the risks of a woman developing ovarian cancer according to the National Cancer Institute. Ovarian cancer is one of the top killers of women still to this day.
She follows her misinformation about hormonal birth control pills with moving on to the diaphragm:
“The diaphragm, which requires you to also use a spermicide, comes with a warning saying that it can cause cancer (at least it did when I used it many years ago.)”
This one is just an out and out lie. Back in 1977 I discovered I could not use the pill or an IUD and ended up getting a diaphragm. This was my primary birth control from 1977 until I became Quiverfull myself in 1995 and none of my diaphragms or the spermicidal jelly came with cancer warnings. Lori’s inventing things again.
“The diaphragm is also uncomfortable, difficult to remove at times, and can also cause toxic shock syndrome if left inside the vagina too long.”
If you can feel the diaphragm after it’s been inserted then you’ve put it in wrong. You should not be able to feel it in you. The same goes for the difficulty of removal.
The chances of your contracting TSS if you leave it in more than 24 hours is about 2 in 100,000 odds according to the AMA. It does offer some protection against some forms of sexually transmitted diseases compared to many methods and it does not involve taking a synthetic hormone every day. It’ also one of the most inexpensive forms of birth control.
The book then goes on to list all the other types of common birth control, sterilization, vasectomy, intrauterine device (IUD), birth control pills, condoms and natural family planning. Oddly enough Lori skips the more modern ones like a Nuvaring or a hormone implant in your forearm.
I’m not going to debunk every lie or partial falsehood she listed for each of these methods, but I will say she did not list any of the benefits, only the possible side effects in a fear-mongering fashion. And there are big benefits to each method listed, such as the pill helps women with endometrial problems or that vasectomies are a sure method. The only side effect she lists for natural family planning is:
“There are no side effects, except for maybe having a precious baby.
I will repeat my original statement: God wants us to have children.”
So how does a couple decide if they are going to eschew all birth control and start popping out Duggar-defying numbers of babies they may not be able to care for? Only the husband gets a vote in this, not the wife.
“Each couple must decide for themselves what to do about birth control, with the husband having the final say since he is the head of the wife.
If you want a lot of children but your husband does not, you must obey your husband.”
Well, as you will soon read Lori herself didn’t even do that! She justifies and simultaneously blames the husband for this decision this way:
“…but our husbands will be the one standing before the Lord to account for the decisions they made in our homes, not us..”
Burn in hell, Ken, burn in hell..*channeling Lori Alexander’s secret thoughts here….*
“When we were in our early forties, Ken and I were convicted about having all the children God wanted us to have….but unbeknownst to us I had a brain tumor, which cause me to not be able to conceive.”
That tumor must have been much more massive than anything the author has related about it in either her blog or her book. A tumor has to be a pretty good size to press enough on the pituitary gland enough to stop hormone production. That’s unfortunate with rather bad timing for being Quiverfull.
The blog posting at the end of this chapter is the usual evangelical pious pouting that being financially and emotionally ready for children is a foolish reason to delay having babies. It sounds wise, not foolish to wait until you are ready for most folks. Then Lori leaves us with her own story of expanding her family.
“When Ken told me I could stay home full time after I had my second baby, I was a full-time schoolteacher. I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom so badly that I put a hole in my diaphragm and we conceived Ryan!”
DON’T DO THIS!!!!! I cannot emphasize enough how bad of an idea this is! We’re talking about bringing a living, breathing human with needs, a soul and massive commitment needs into what sounds like a less than ideal relationship! It’s not a puppy or a houseplant, this is a decision that must be made together. Life. Time. Commitment!!! Lori says afterward not to do this, but hey, just by mentioning it in her book I’m sure she’s given some Quiverfull-want-to-be with an uncooperative spouse a very bad idea right about now.To recap – all birth control is the evils that will eventually give you the cancers. If you want enough children to populate a Little League team and your husband says no it’s okay because Satan will get to torture him for all time and eternity for not picking the right answer.
Next week: Dating and keeping your children sexually pure. That should be a swamp filled with toxic ideas. I suspect it’s filled with scare tactics about porn and spin the bottle parties.
Suzanne Titkemeyer is the admin at No Longer Quivering. She’s been out of the Quiverfull Evangelical world for nine years now and lives in the beautiful Piedmont section of Virginia with her retired husband and assorted creatures. She blogs at Every Breaking Wave and True Love Doesn’t Rape
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