Fat Shaming Women and Educated Homeschooling Mothers

Fat Shaming Women and Educated Homeschooling Mothers February 28, 2018

The Transformed Wife Lori Alexander has been on a role this week. She’s been fat shaming women and claiming that you do not need educated homeschooling mothers to turn out a very educated homeschooled populace. Today’s post I’m not even posting here as it was her taking something by Nancy Campbell about how a stay at home mother prevents all ills with the children.

Initially we’re planned on posting about the withdrawal of the lawsuit against Bill Gothard by ex ATI adults, but the information coming out is confusing at best. Here are Gothard’s statement, the plaintiffs statement and another site’s take on what happened. Eventually we’ll address this, but for now it is hard to determine what happened here beyond the dropping of the suit.

Back to Lori. First up some primo fat shaming from a lady that seems so obsessional about food she very likely has psychiatric issues with it. From her blog post titled ‘She’ll Get Fat and He’ll Have a New Boss’ 

There’s a fair amount of word salad-y confusion going on, but Lori’s point is that if you are a good submissive wife you will not gain an ounce once you marry. Nor will you cut your hair. It’s all about looking like the perfect fantasy woman for your man.

Not one word for the opposite sex. I guess in Lori’s world a man gaining a huge beer belly, stopping hygiene practices and going bald is okay because he’s a man-God. This is all in answer to an ancient comment necroed up from an ancient post on Lori’s old blog where some man bloviates about fat short haired wives blowing their husband’s dough before filing for divorce, or the man filing because she’s gotten fat.

Here’s Lori’s answer:

Interesting that Lori insists you eat very expensive foods to stay slim, and do something that costs money like Weight Watchers. Even simply joining a gym or swimming at the Y takes money. Lori sets up women having a problem by insisting they do something expensive to solve it while insisting they do not spent money. You just cannot win in her world.

That long hair thing! LMAO!!  I know lots of men that do not prefer long hair. My own husband likes my hair better when it is short. This hair length only seems to be a real problem in the depths of these high demand religious groups. Lori’s own photos show her with hair just shoulder length, not long. Feminism is not the motivating factor for cutting off your hair, it’s practical.

Moving on  to yesterday’s post –  Are Homeschooling Mothers Arrogant and Not Intelligent?

One of Lori’s commenters expresses an opinion that many of the religious homeschooling mothers she knows aren’t very educated or smart, filled with misspellings and grammar mistakes while being incredibly arrogant about their homeschooling abilities.

Sounds very much to me like many of the homeschooling mothers from my old community and when I taught art classes in the local homeschooling cooperative. When did having an education become such an undesirable attribute among homeschooling. It seems to me to be common sense that if you were going to homeschool your children you yourself would seek to elevate your own knowledge at the same time. If I had decided to homeschool, and there was tremendous pressure to do so, I would have had to brush up on some subjects to feel comfortable teaching. Apparently that’s some sort of sin in Lori’s vision of homeschooling.

Here’s a question. Does anyone know if Lori herself homeschooled her children for any significant length of time?

Lori’s defender of homeschooling she published as a response to the reasonable questions by the commenter bragged very quickly how strangers compliment her on how well behaved her children are and claims that’s only because of homeschooling before going on to state this about the educational levels of the mothers:

Don’t blame public schools for some person’s inability to know the difference between ‘Their’, ‘There’ and ‘They’re’! You have to put in at least some effort at any learning endeavor.

About that unnecessary college degree? There are more jobs that require it than not. You are automatically sentencing your children to a lifetime of low paying hourly wage jobs by completely ruling out any advanced schooling. College may not be necessary for everyone, but some sort of higher education is, be it trade school (plumbers make serious bank these days), college, or joining a union to be a carpenter or electrician. Character is not going to get your precious children positions that will allow for the support of a family. Saying that just shows how sheltered and naive this mother is.

The great irony of all of this is that Lori has never had to worry about money, scrimp or save, and she’s not qualified to teach on it. In her book she exhibited she does not even have a basic understanding of family economy.

Read more very bad ideas by Lori Alexander

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Jennny

    When I moved to my village, a while ago, I really wondered if I’d moved to a cancer hotspot, I saw several older women with cropped hair, like they’d had chemotherapy. I discovered that they had stopped going to the Ladies Hair Salon for blue rinses and perms. Instead, they went to the barbers. He charged £3 and would visit you in your home if you were housebound. If you are elderly and have problems with getting down the hill to the Ladies Salon or difficulties with personal care, one of Graham’s short hairsyles is a perfect solution!

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    Yeah, amazing that she thinks making the kids drive an old Benz is some sort of punishment or lesson. The class/economic divide is so filled with cognitive dissonance and zero self awareness

  • Tawreos

    Small quibble, but men going bald is not a choice the way a woman cutting her hair is. Trust me on this, I would have done pretty much anything to keep it from happening.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    You have a point. But if you apply Lori’s flawed logic to men she might order balding men to wear toupees or join Hair Club for Men, something as equally drastic. Nothing wrong with balding. Perhaps I should have said ‘All men must have mullets’ instead

  • Tawreos

    Oh god no! Anything but the mullet. =)

  • Almost a chimp

    I didn’t mind going grey, but as soon as it was pointed out that from behind my head had started to resemble a swan’s nest with an egg in it, out came the razor.
    As for a mullet, Hell No! Not even in the eighties when it was fashionable. I’ll leave that to Billy Ray Cyrus, thank you very much.

  • Mary Hannah bates

    If we are made in the image of god. Is god bald? Why are there no paintings of a bald god (for those that think god and jesus are the same)?

  • Mary Hannah bates

    I rocked a mullet. To be fair, there are some women’s cuts that are bordeline mullet and some that are not.

  • Saraquill

    Wives must stay attractive by not gaining weight, even though boobs are mostly fat. While I’m not always happy to go up a cup size, I won’t fault anyone who does.

    …I now have an urge to don yoga pants and a cleavage baring sports bra in order to do calisthenics in front of Lori.

  • Saraquill

    I used public transport to commute from school, and I still don’t have a car. Wouldn’t that mean I’m way more humble than Lori?

  • Mel

    I do know public school graduates who can’t tell the difference between “they’re”, “their” or “there”.

    I also know plenty of public school graduates who are public, private or parochial school teachers.

    Take a wild guess what the percentage of overlap between the two groups are. If you answered “0%”, you are smarter than Lori – or her commentator!

    As a public school teacher, the most terrifying statement made to me by local homeschooling mothers was that because I had a college degree I was totally competent to teach my ( at that point completely hypothetical) children K-12 homeschool because those women were already going to teach their kids K-12; they just needed to stay one lesson ahead of their child-student. No one seemed worried at all about my scenario where a kid needs help on a math lesson but the solution to the problem requires understanding a lesson that the kid covered on their own without mom.

  • AFo

    “Most girls go off to college and cut their hair short.” I don’t know why, but I found it funny that she’s clutching her pearls over that. It sounds like the older generation doing the same when the flappers started bobbing their hair. Getting a shorter haircut doesn’t fundamentally change who a person is- everyone I know does it either to make their hair more manageable, or because they’re tired of their old style and want to try something new. If my future husband is going to throw a tantrum because I don’t have Rapunzel-length hair, he’s not going to be my husband for very long.

  • Iain Lovejoy

    Lori doesn’t know what “gluttony” is. Gluttony is not being overweight or having a poor diet. Gluttony is having an unhealthy and obsessive relationship with food. The person who must have the very best in food, insists on only organic food cooked from scratch with every ingredient hand-picked and perfect, who obsesses about every morsel that goes in their mouth is as much a glutton (if not more so) as one who justs stuffs their face with burgers.
    Lori is a glutton, and worse is proud of her gluttony, and boasts about it, and actually thinks it’s a virtue and tries to foist it on everyone else.

  • AFo

    Fellow teacher here to agree with everything you say. Lori and her homeschooling buddies like to make teaching sound like the easiest job ever. If it were that easy, why do states make us take certification tests and get licenses? It requires more than just being one step ahead of your students; it requires understanding what your students are doing from every possible angle and anticipating every possible problem they could run into with it?

    As for the grammar thing, I went to public school my entire life and was taught proper grammar and punctuation by a particularly stern teacher who delighted in deducting points from our essays for misplaced commas and incorrect subject-verb agreement, among other things. You better believe I learned the rules of grammar forward, backward, and sideways.

  • Tawreos

    Does anyone know how old her kids are? Depending on their age driving an 84 Mercedes may not have been that much of a handicap.

  • Annerdr

    In 1982 I was given a 1969 Pontiac, and felt lucky to get it. Lots of kids in high school don’t get cars.

  • zizania

    If it makes you feel better, I’m a woman and I’ve been completely bald for about 10 years now (alopecia). Doesn’t bother me much, although I’d like my eyelashes and brows back.

  • Tawreos

    In ’89 my car was almost old enough for high school itself, a 1976 Dodge Dart. I miss that old hunk of junk.

  • Samantha Vimes

    Or *deep* understanding. I found math annoying as a child as I was taught algorithms without reasons.
    When I got to college as a math major, I discovered Abstract Algebra/ Modern Algebra– a branch that studies structure underlying mathematics and shows you where the rules come from and the similarity between different mathematical groups.

  • Samantha Vimes

    What I mean to say is, now I can understand better why math works the way it does and explain it so that students grasp the logic underlying their work.

  • therealcie

    Appearance shaming is the lowest common denominator. If that’s all you’ve got, pack it up and go home.
    Nobody owes it to anybody to be a certain size or to be perceived as conventionally beautiful.
    Diets don’t work long term in more than five percent of cases. Most of the time the weight that may be lost comes back with friends. People who end up in the yo-yo dieting cycle eventually destroy their metabolisms. I had to stop dieting in order not to gain more weight, and when I stopped dieting, my weight stabilized, not that I owe anybody one damn single explanation about why my body is the way it is.
    I would recommend that everyone google Health At Every Size. It is a far saner approach than the current insane weight normative approach which does no one a damn bit of good.
    I’m bitter and angry because of all the years where I let jerks like Lori get under my skin. At this point, she can kiss my fat ass, and I’m not ashamed to say it or think it.

  • therealcie

    I do have very long, thick hair, however. I started going gray at 27 and I’m now 53. I use Henna to change my hair to all sorts of interesting shades, not because I’m ashamed of my gray hair, but because with my pasty, East European complexion, it makes me look dead. I may actually be dead but am too stupid to realize it–ha!

    So, Lori might give me a pass for the long hair, but I’m rather sure she wouldn’t like the colors I dye it, and she can still kiss my fat agnostic ass.

  • lady_black

    In nursing school, if the word was misspelled, it was wrong. In college, if the word is misspelled, or there is any grammatical error, or a lack of coherent paragraphs, it’s going to be wrong. In professional life, errors are cause for ridicule.
    No one is doing a child any favors by not teaching them mastery of the English language, and that should be done before college. It’s bad enough that cursive writing is no longer being taught.

  • katiehippie

    Yeah, a Mercedes of all things. I had a Plymouth Champ when I went to college.

  • Almost a chimp

    No, because that means that you get too close to the heathen hordes that Lori detests on the basis that they’re not Lori. Hell, you might even converse with the peasantry!
    To be humbler than the Queen of Humbletown you must drive a Flintstone car – no engine, just holes in the floor for your legs.

  • Almost a chimp

    Because God is almost as vain as Trump?

  • lady_black

    Male pattern baldness is inherited from the mother. For females, it has to come from both sides.
    I would advise a balding man to just go totally shaved. Don’t do comb-overs. They never work.

  • I can’t imagine how much damage to my self esteem I would have if I read Lori’s blog and actually believed and tried to practice the things she says. Seriously, in her opinion, women can do absolutely nothing right. Stay thin and pretty and fit but don’t spend a lot of money on it, and don’t become vain because that’s ungodly, and dress to be attractive but not too attractive because you might cause other men to sin through lusting after you….

  • Anonyme

    I’d love to be able to wear my hair long and experiment with hairstyles, but it’s so thick that without regular cutting, I look like a brunette-colored bush, and, because I live in the middle of Florida, it turns into an oily mess in summer (a.k.a, most of the year).
    But of course, feminism is the ONLY reason women cut their hair!

  • Tawreos

    That’s what I did 18 years ago, but I still miss my hair

  • Nightshade

    ‘My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends…’

  • Nightshade

    In March of last year Lori proudly proclaimed ‘I can’t remember anything that I learned in college. I didn’t like any of my classes. I can’t remember any of my professors’…’Am I a smarter mother because I went to college? I don’t think so.’ Yeah, that last bit is pretty obvious.

  • AFo

    Lori doesn’t remember college because she went for the wrong reasons. She went for her MRS Degree, not to actually expand her mind or grow as a person.

  • Erik1986

    Municipal Railway buses and/or walking when I was in grammar, then h.s. THREE WHOLE UPHILL BLOCKS (well, this was in San Francisco – they were STEEP hills) to grammar school, about 8-10 blocks to h.s. And it was a Catholic school Damn, I’m humble. But when the apocalypse comes, I’ll be sitting pretty – I have a horse for transportation.

  • karmacat

    I also got a Dodge Dart to drive to school. It was handed down to my brother and then me and lacked power steering and only had AM radio. It was still better than riding the bus. I miss boxy square cars like it

  • JetGirl

    As always, Lori makes traditional marriage sound terrible, and God out as a sociopathic asshole.

  • Martin Penwald

    Comb-over are incredibly ridiculous. If I could have chose, I would have keep my hairs, but razors works fine, and I haven’t been to an hairdresser since 12 years.

  • lady_black

    There you go! It saves money, too. Win-win.

  • lady_black

    Bald men are sexy. Vin Diesel. Grrrrrr.

  • SAO

    A lazy computer engineer tends to out earn a hard-working lawn service guy, short-order cook, etc, etc. Further, people who get college degrees have proven that they can work reasonably hard, unlike those who are HS dropouts — which is the equivalent educational attainment of a not insignificant proportion of homeschooled kids.

  • SAO

    I have a master’s degree that was very quantitative. I struggled to help my kids in math by the time they got to 9th grade. I’d kind of remember, but by the time I figured out exactly how to do the problems and how to explain it, their homework was overdue.

    To effectively teach, you have to have mastered the subject, one step ahead doesn’t cut it.

  • Zeldacat

    I wonder what she’d make of my 21-year-old Saturn. Runs fine, the heat and A/C are shot but I manage fine around here. I’m going to miss that car when it finally decides it’s had enough…

  • SAO

    I drove a Volare in the 80s. She might have been a 1976. She was called ‘The junk heap’ until I started driving her and renamed her Agnes, but when my parents weren’t in earshot, my brother was far ruder about poor Agnes. Her automatic transmission was slow when she first started, so if you turned onto the main road, she’d pause in the middle of the turn, leaving you blocking traffic, so I’d drive the other way to the dead end of our road, turn around, drive back up before turning onto the main road.

    Fond memories!

  • B.A.

    Classic! I love Janis Joplin.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    I am sure Lori would have been horrified by my college car. Was not allowed to have a car in high school at all. Our Catholic school did not encourage driving students and only seniors could park on campus. From 1978 until I had a wreck in 1985 I drove my father’s old VW Bug. She was no beauty but I got by on minimal gas and the rare repair.

  • MaraT

    Lori did not homeschool her children. She claims that she was too sick to do so. So she had an excuse, but no one else does. She also is very opposed to young women attending university…but her daughters attended university because her husband wanted them to. So she had an excuse, but no one else does. Remember her post about how there are no exceptions with regards to submitting to your husband? Well, there are always exceptions for her…but not for you and I. Hypocrisy personified.

  • otrame

    “Worked hard all my life time,
    No help from my friends.”

  • Saraquill

    As an aside, I was very pissed when I finished reworking a knitting pattern to fit a different gauge and very different proportions than was intended. My knowledge of algebra is such that I would have struggled more with creating the algorithms than charting everything longhand and adjusting from there.

    An hour and a half later, I had my new pattern and was going “This made more @#$%ing sense than any of those formulas I allegedly needed for adulting! Why did no one teach me the ideas beneath the shortcuts?”

  • Mimc

    Of course neither is gaining weight as you get older and she insists you shouldn’t do that. Obviously getting obese is unhealthy but it is natural and health to be heavier at 40 than at 20. The idea that you shouldn’t gain an once after marriage is about as ridiculous as the insistence that men should expect to be divorced if they go bald.

  • Mimc

    Yeah sometimes I think Ken is just humoring her on this Quiverful stuff. He apparently asked her to use birth control and insisted upon their children getting good educations. He don’t really seem like he buys into a lot of the stuff she preaches.

  • Mimc

    I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again. I don’t know any single income families were the provider has less than a college degree. I realize that the sample size there is small but I can’t imagine I’m the only one that has noticed this pattern. Even these QF types often have college degrees (Ken, Maxwell,etc.)

  • Nea

    I grew my hair in college. My mother always liked it short and I liked it long.

  • Nea

    Like the Duggar ‘do, for one.

  • Nea

    I remember a lot I learned in college. And I also made a lot on the secondary market selling my textbooks – a stay-at-home income line that Lori never even thinks about.

  • Nea

    To be fair, so do her heroes the Pearls.

  • SAO

    They may have taught you them. I discovered at some point that I’d been taught backwards. All my math classes started with abstract theory and then worked down to how to solve the problem. Until I’d done some problems, I couldn’t grasp the theory, so it was all wasted. Had they recapped the theory after we’d done the problems, I’d have learned it. Math majors love to start with theory. Similarly, none of my gym teachers taught the rules to the games we played, I think they assumed we knew, but if you don’t watch sports on TV, don’t have family members who ever talk about sports, then you don’t learn the rules. My gym teachers were all former jocks.

    That said, I wasn’t that motivated in school to learn more math than required to pass the tests or more about sports than to survive gym class.

  • Saraquill

    It must be noted I have cognitive disabilities which my teachers didn’t know how to account for. At best, they’d double down and repeat stuff that apparently works for the majority of students. It never occurred to anyone to adjust their methods for my sake.

  • texassa

    She was on a roll, not on a role. Not trying to be rude, that stuff just drives me nuts.

  • texassa

    How do these people look themselves in the mirror every day and feel proud, when they spend such a large chunk of their time and energy writing nonsense blogs out into cyberspace, telling others how they think they should live? Talk about not living a life of purpose – what a pathetic way to spend your life.

  • paganheart

    My first car was a Dart! I was too broke in high school or college to afford a car, but after graduating college I took $1,500 I had scraped together and bought a Dart off a friend of my Dad’s. That thing was a wreck…I finally traded it in after two years when I realized I was spending almost as much on car repairs as I was on rent, and spending so much time at the repair shop that I was on a first-name basis with all the mechanics. Good times… 😉

  • texassa

    My cousin’s family is single-income (3 young children) and no degree on either side. I’m guessing, but they likely either live under or close to the poverty line.

  • Tawreos

    It happens, eye dew the same thing awl the thyme. =)

  • Mimc

    The Pearls are another example I suppose. But they had to eat animal feed so that almost proves the point. They aren’t preparing there sons for the lifestyle they preach if they aren’t sending them to college or at least trade school.

  • Cynthia

    I noticed her quoting Michael Pearl this week about giving children zero privacy and him bragging about his married kids who will never get divorced.

    Too bad his son Gabe’s wife Lori left him, got an order of protection and a divorce.

  • Raging Bee

    Drug-cartel bosses and human traffickers don’t need college degrees, do they?

  • Robert Baden

    IF a comb-over makes me feel good, why shouldn’t I do it? Why should I care what anyone else thinks?

  • Tuna

    In 1983 I was driving a 1968 Meteor station wagon. It was a beast, and I was happy to have it. I later traded it for a 1970 Ford Galaxy 500, which was even more of a beast.

  • Nea

    But not a divorce… mostly because she was never legally married to him in the first place. She still got all the legal rights any woman may obtain against a violent ex-boyfriend – which in legal terms is what Gabe is – and she got custody.

  • lady_black

    You might as well ask me “What if wearing swim fins at all times makes me feel good, why shouldn’t I do that?”
    There is no real reason why you shouldn’t. You should bear in mind that the more extreme the comb-over, the more ridiculous you will look to others.
    Of course, I’m not referring to creative comb-overs that hide a small bald spot. That works fine. If your part falls an inch over one of your ears, and you have to use an actual flap, don’t bother. You aren’t fooling anyone.

  • DestinyL

    Yeah, amazing that she thinks making the kids drive an old Benz is some sort of punishment or lesson. The class/economic divide is so filled with cognitive dissonance and zero self awareness

  • smrnda

    Hard work, a willingness to work, loving your family and willingness to obey God’s commands – don’t the JWs stress these things and have a disdain for college, and also have very low average income compared to members of other religions or nones? Plenty of hard working people are poor.

    And if she was really going to be frugal, they would use a bus and not drive.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    Hey Phil! Peddle that elsewhere. Lori brings the crazy is why I publish her here. Her views aren’t that “Biblical”, she says crazy and/or dangerous things daily and is a great example of how religious extremism and quiverfull can totally fuck up your life. She’s unhappy and tries to force other women to share in her unhappiness. She’s getting worse too.

    The year before I was more focused on Nancy Campbell for the exact same reasons. The couple of years before that Debi Pearl, before that the Duggars with assorted other assholes that think/claim that they speak for God like Kevin Swanson, Michael Pearl, Steven Anderson, Doug Wilson and Tim Bayly. Where there are people claiming they are speaking for God yet tossing around extra Biblical shit I’m going to be talking about them and measuring what they say against what we know.

    But you know what? I don’t take shit from Lori loving trolls. Banned. Go lick her ass harder. Interesting that you are posting directly from the Dallas schools server and you use your real name as your email address.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    Agreed. Do what makes you feel good, not what the crowd says you must.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    No new posts for a few days. We’re in the middle of moving into our new house and I’m waiting on Cablatica to come install the internet connection. It’s supposed to be tomorrow, but I’m living in a place where tomorrow can sometimes mean three weeks from Tuesday..

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    and welcome to Jerks4Jesus.com

  • JetGirl

    You’re right, let’s be fair. They’re terrible too.

  • persephone

    My hair is going gray, but the original red has changed to a mousy brown. The combination of mousy brown and gray wash me out and make me look sick. I’d be happy if it went gray or had stayed red, this in-between is a pain. So I color it. It still grows fast, so I have to color every four weeks.

    Because of my job, I can’t do any colors like blue or purple, which is kind of a bummer.

  • MillyPierce

    I went to Burton HS in San Francisco by McClaren Park, four uphill blocks cuz the 29 was always too damn crowded and/or slow and walking was usually our best bet!

  • SAO

    If you hadn’t noticed, this blog’s focus is criticism of CPM ideology. Many of the posts are quotes from various CPM thinkers/bloggers/VIPs to illustrate the manifold problems with the ideology. What better way to illustrate the idiocy, contradictions and toxicity of the movement than by quoting its adherents?

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    I discovered after a little digging around who and what this guy is:

    This is Phillip Pettit from Dallas Theological Seminary, not the Dallas public school system. He is an academic at a Bible school, Director of Placement, Adjunct Professor in Pastoral Ministries, Educational Ministries and Leadership, and Media Arts and Worship. His resume, most of which is likely highly polished you know what:

    ” Paul Pettit serves as Director of Placement and teaches in the departments of Spiritual Formation and Leadership and Pastoral Ministries. He and his wife, Pamela, and their five children live in Rockwall, Texas, where they are involved in their church and a local Christian school. Paul’s background includes experience as a sportscaster, author, and speaker. His books include Dynamic Dads: How to Be a Hero to Your Kids, Congratulations, You’ve Got ‘Tweens,Congratulations, You’re Gonna Be a Dad!, which he coauthored with his wife, and Foundations of Spiritual Formation. A graduate of the University of Kansas and the Moody Bible Institute’s Advanced Studies Program, Paul has also earned a Master of Theology degree and a Doctor of Ministry degree from Dallas Theological Seminary.”

    The idiot with the nasty mouth all over the internet, Disqus and Patheos has his own ministry and website called ‘Dynamic Dads’ I wonder if he teaches those kids and other fathers to race around the internet saying nasty disgusting things to strangers? How positively “Christian” that is and it also reflects so badly on Dallas Theological Seminary. They don’t have a clue how hateful this guy is.

    http://www.dts.edu/about/faculty/ppettit/
    http://www.dynamicdads.com/d1/#.WpikH-dG1PY

  • I LOVE my hand-me-down 1992 (I think) Nissan! It has no payments attached to it, so it is worth it to fix up once in a while. (Still less than payments would be.) And it has so many good memories of going places with my mom, too! I wish there was more of a movement to buy older cars. It’s less wasteful and easier on your budget.

  • I hope not. Who knows?

  • BridgetD

    I have kind of a round face and a thick build, so I think longer hair suits me best. It’s medium thickness and bone-straight, so it’s actually pretty manageable. When it’s clean, brushed, and styled, I think it’s my best feature.

    I don’t really care what someone else thinks. That’s how I’m keeping my hair, because that’s what I like.

    As a kid though…I absolutely hated brushing my hair. Pretty much to the point that it was constantly full of knots. When I reached middle school, I cut it to just above shoulder length because I didn’t want to spend any amount of time on it.

  • BridgetD

    Public transport in my city is actually pretty nice. I’ve used it quite often, since it’s cheap and goes practically everywhere. I just wouldn’t recommend using it to travel alone late at night as a young woman…

  • BridgetD

    A Benz…heh. I wish!

    I only recently got my first car (I’m 24 years old)…it isn’t pretty (2006 Kia Spectra with a heck of a lot of cosmetic damage do to being totaled by a previous owner), but it runs relatively well. As much as I complain about it, I’m very grateful to have it.

  • BridgetD

    I graduated last December with my B.S. in education. I need additional student teaching hours before I can be fully certified in my state. I fully realize that I am not an expert in this field by any means. Yet, I have met several people who have told me that since they were once public school students, they were completely qualified to teach K-12.

    It leaves me gobsmacked that people can be so arrogant.

  • BridgetD

    I just got my first car last summer…I’m 24 :-P. I’m still grateful to have it. It’s not pretty, but it gets me from point A to point B. That’s the important part.

  • smrnda

    “they just needed to stay one lesson ahead of their child-student”

    Wow, would they pay someone $ for that level of expertise?

  • smrnda

    The only family I encountered that was trying that had a single earner but he was working 2 jobs, so definitely not ‘single income.’ And the single earner was very clear that he wanted the kids to get educations so they wouldn’t need to struggle so much to provide for their own families in turn.

  • Quinsha

    Not long ago, I was taking French in the local community college, and the teacher was in the habit of doing spelling tests, having us pass the papers around, and letting us correct each other’s papers. A problem came up with this.

    Us older students took the test in cursive. The younger students could not read the cursive-written words well enough to grade the tests.

  • Quinsha

    Safety. I got used to short hair for several reasons. Mostly to do with working around machinery when I got divorced and had to take any temp job that the agency would throw at me.

  • Quinsha

    Started going grey at 23, here. Nowadays I have my hair died red with blue streaks throughout it. 🙂

  • NikkiofAmystika

    “She’ll Get Fat and He’ll Have a New Boss” links back to a post Lori wrote on her old blog about men not getting married, and the old post has a comment on it from a man who might be in an abusive marriage. I posted some domestic violence resources I’d read on another blog for him. It probably won’t do any good, since Lori probably won’t approve my comment, but I thought it was the right thing to do.

  • Saraquill

    Premature greying runs in my family. As most of mine came in during graduate school, I wear my streaks as a badge.

  • Saraquill

    I guess that counts as never getting divorced, if that turd forbids his kids from legal marriage.

  • Nea

    The Pearls do love to parse words, or warp them out of all meaning!

  • Tawreos

    Do those folks have degrees from actual universities or did they get it from sending a check to one of the “colleges” that is housed in a ranch home?

  • Mary Hannah bates

    I have not seen that. Mine was just shorter on top. Here is my mullet. Just the mohawk part is shorter. https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/507569820480688741/

  • Mary Hannah bates

    This goes for the Mormons as well. Yes, the women get educated, but they do not use it until the kids are grown and that might just be never depending on how many there are.

  • Mary Hannah bates

    I can get a degree in ranching?

  • Mary Hannah bates

    Nobody has to read them. I doubt she has much of a real following. Once the opposers are deleted, she seldom has 10 responses left. Sure it says she has X amount following, but that doesn’t mean anybody actually reads her crap.

  • Tawreos

    There are “universities” that will give you a degree in anything, as long as the check clears.

  • Almost a chimp

    Off topic, but this is a funny story about the newest Duggar baby: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-5447175/Joy-Anna-Duggar-likely-delivered-son-Gideon-hospital.html
    Joy’s cousin put up a couple of photos of the parents and baby in the hospital. Very soon after, the pics were deleted and the cousin’s Instagram account was changed from public to private, but too late to prevent them being shared by fans.

    It’s almost as though the parents didn’t want it known that their baby was born in hospital. It was a big bugger, too; over 10 pounds and 22 inches long.
    There’s also hints about the timing, being just about 9 months after they married. The suggestion seems to be that maybe, just maybe, Joy and Austin broke the no sexual contact – not even kissing – before marriage.
    Poor kid’s been named Gideon. Let’s hope he doesn’t get left in a hotel room :-))

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    I saw that! Betting poor cousin Amy got quite the scolding from Jim Boob.

    Soon as I saw the baby photos it was pretty obvious poor little Gideon was a cesarean baby. That is huge for a first baby!

  • Raging Bee

    I mostly agree, but a lot of the people who can least afford their own cars, are forced to buy them anyway because public transit in their area either doesn’t exist or sucks. And employers building their big-box stores and factories in the middle of Nowheristan doesn’t help them either.

  • Raging Bee

    …says the guy who protests too much for someone without any substantive criticism.

  • Raging Bee

    This IS her role.

  • Raging Bee

    His comment history shows he’s either a slobbering right-wing idiot, or a consistent Poe.

  • Raging Bee

    Why is that URL screaming “NSFW!!!” ?

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    Because it’s not safe for work. I use curse words and one of the photos is a man getting repeatedly slapped with a dildo, just like I long to do to these ‘Good Christian Patriarchs’

  • Erik1986

    My 1988 Chevy Cheyenne 2500 died in early 2014 at 250,000 miles (unfortunately it died while I was towing a loaded horse trailer. That was not a pleasant afternoon. Not worth replacing the tranny at that point.) Boy that truck did yeoman duty – the AC died, but for some reason, the heater still worked, so on a hot day when towing, I’d have the heater going full blast and the windows open to ease the stress on the engine. I now have a 2003 Silverado HD truck that I purchased with about 53,000 miles on it. It’s approaching 93,000 miles now. I can only hope it lasts as long as its predecessor!

  • Almost a chimp

    I wonder how they’re going to spin this for the tv show. I’ve never actually watched it, but from what I’ve learnt from reading about the family here, I wouldn’t be surprised if they tried to erase the hospital’s involvement and simply stage a mock-up reconstruction home birth and try to pass it off as the real thing.

  • Almost a chimp

    Raging Bee Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer
    2 hours ago
    Why is that URL screaming “NSFW!!!” ?

    Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer Raging Bee
    2 hours ago
    Because it’s not safe for work.

    My favourite Q&A ever. :-)))

  • Mary Hannah bates

    This sounds like the insurance company on my workers comp case. They know I will have a disability, but now that the doctor has told them how disabled I am they are questioning it. They want me to be disabled, just not THAT disabled.

  • jennabobenna

    Many good paying jobs (at least in my area) require either a college degree or knowledge of a trade. In fact, I remember my former manager when I worked one summer in the HR department of a large warehouse for a *very* famous online retailer had a BA in anthropology with a minor in philosophy and she basically confirmed that a lot of companies that require a degree for management or mid-level positions don’t necessarily care what the degree is in so long as you have the piece of paper. On the flip side of that, my mom has 20+ years of HR experience and is stuck in her current position because most places wouldn’t offer her a position similar to her current one or better because she doesn’t have a degree. My cousin and her boyfriend are apprenticing in union programs right now. Basically, sure, college is expensive and student loans suck, but your earning potential is likely going to be severely limited, if not now then down the road, by not having at least some post-secondary education/training.

  • smrnda

    Is she just admitting she was a lousy student?

    She’s not a smarter mother because she went to college because by her own admission, she learned nothing.

  • smrnda

    True. I’m legally blind and dependent on mass transit, so I’m stuck picking from a few urban areas. Now and then I’ve even passed up on trips because wherever I was going to go was just too car-dependent. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be physically unable to drive and be born in one of those places.

  • smrnda

    On the trades, I once gave mathematics tutoring for people who needed to improve their maths to pass apprenticeship exams. Many had years of experience on the job but their inability to get an apprenticeship, pass exams and get certifications was greatly reducing their income and their options. Quite a few trades require classroom training and knowledge of maths, even physics.

  • Saraquill

    Eek. If the mom had gestational diabetes, I hope she got treatment from a licensed MD.

  • Mel

    That’s a huge baby. I hope Joy “fudged” the due date a bit and that little Gideon was conceived 40-42 weeks before his birth.

    The far scarier possibility is that Joy had untreated gestational diabetes and produced a 10 pounder at 36 weeks gestation. When Spawn was in the NICU, we saw quite a few massive near-term “preemies” or term babies who were having problems due to untreated maternal gestational diabetes. If the baby was lucky, they were just having problems with hypoglycemia and needed an IV and careful watching until they were feeding well. If not, well, one little pumpkin had a double shoulder dystocia that the doctors could only resolve by breaking one collarbone and the humerus of the opposite arm – and hypoglycemia. I can only imagine the level of pelvic floor trauma the mom had; she was a tiny little thing.

  • Petticoat Philosopher

    Was the baby born at 36 weeks? Over 10 pounds is big but definitely doesn’t need to indicate that something was wrong. My sister was a few ounces short of 10 (completely normal pregnancy) and I’ve known a few over-10-pounders where there were no problems—just big babies. But maybe, because the baby was so big, they went in and got it a little early because they suspected that attempting a vaginal delivery at 40 weeks with a baby who would be even bigger by then wouldn’t go well?

  • Petticoat Philosopher

    It’s common enough and not that big a deal generally. I know loads of women whose first children were born by C-section (and often all subsequent children as well.) It’s definitely more of an issue if you’re planning on going for a double digit number of kids though. There’s only so many times doctors want to cut into a uterus, even though they’ve gotten much better at it in recent years.

  • Jennny

    So, Pettit, I sense christian love oozing out of every pore. If I were to convert to your religion, would I have to become as rude, small-minded and bigotted as you are?

  • Mimc

    Actual universities. I doubt a fake degree would support a large family.

  • Nightshade

    She’s proud of her ignorance and, yes, stupidity. Ignorance can be fixed with education, but intentional, willful lack of knowledge can’t. Lori has chosen to be stupid.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    She’s also chosen to be isolated to the point of nativity about many things to the detriment of her own knowledge base.

  • Steven Blackwell

    I hope not. Who knows?

  • Mel

    A 10 pounder at 40 weeks is big – but not terribly big for a family that produces large babies.

    The tricky bit is how well a 10+ pound baby fits through the mom’s pelvic structures. There’s not as much wiggle room – and that’s a really literal statement considering the fact that the kid literally does wiggle at points – for a big baby as for a small baby.

    Joy – like her older sisters and sisters-in-laws – was vocally anticipating a homebirth. The Duggars have a standing relationship with some kinda-questionable homebirth midwives so I doubt Joy’s attendants had a good grasp on the size or position of the baby before delivery. Jill managed to pull off laboring with Israel for 70 hours; too bad Israel was over 9 pounds and was in a breech position. There was no way he was coming out vaginally – but she didn’t know that until the OB/GYNs at the hospital did an ultrasound.

  • ConcepcionImmaculadaPantalones

    Statistics is the only area of math I ‘get’, good thing it was high enough on the course requirements to be the last one I needed to take for my bachelors. 😉

    Of course I don’t go around proclaiming to be a trigonometry whiz nor do I expect to teach math to anyone…I think the reason I did well in stats was that I could apply it in real world situations like how much less I would pay if the store marked an item down 35% etc…that and I like reading the stats data from someone else’s careful scientific research a lot. Statistics talk from the mister is pretty sexy too… 😉

  • bekabot

    Gluttony is having an unhealthy and obsessive relationship with food.

    True, but then she has an unhealthy and obsessive relationship with everything. That having been said, she’s a low-rent version of the haute bourgeois cruchy-con bon-vivant. Their schtick is hers, readjusted for comparative penury. (I’m not sure but IMO William Buckley started all that stuff back in the era of Julia Child and the Galloping Gourmet, but maybe the only reason I think so is that I can’t remember back any further. Those were my formative years.) At any rate, since they’re male and she’s female, and since they have more social power than she has, and since they inhabit a market which isn’t quite so nichey, and also since they’re pitching to a more moneyed crowd, they shill for better food than she does, but the obsessiveness is just the same.

  • bekabot

    I once knew a guy who drove an orangey old Toyota he called “Nellie” which had holes rusted through the floor. Nellie was a veteran of the wars. IIRC he’d bought her used and then revved her for the better part of 20 years over salted-and-graveled winter roads and through driving Great Lakes snow. Nellie wasn’t quite to the point where you’d be better off forgetting about the ignition and just skedaddling with your legs, but she was close.

  • bekabot

    Why should I care what anyone else thinks?

    No specific reason, but remember that the current Occupant of the White House is also the current exemplar of the same philosophy once it’s been taken into ne plus ultra land, and draw your own conclusions from that fact.

  • bekabot

    Judging by some of the frankly rather wishful things Michael Pearl has had to say about how his descendants are going to sustain society in the future and come up with all the new innovations (etc., etc.) I think that either he or Debi or both may be counting on some kind of divine or miraculous rescue.

    Or — alternatively — that Mike has decided that since he’s only got twoscore years or so left at the ultimate maximum and that after that he won’t care, the future is his kids’ and their kids’ headache and not his own. “Hey, I went to all the trouble and expense of raisin’ you varmints, and what happens from now on is up to your own danged selves.” JMO.

  • bekabot

    If you don’t like her so much, why not just ignore her?

    Because she’s doing harm in a wider world which reaches beyond herself, and because it’s harm that the human race — if it survives — will be dealing with for centuries to millennia to come at the very least. (I say this not about Lori Alexander personally or alone, but also about her many male and female congeners.)

    Good enough?

  • bekabot

    Upvoted for exit quip. Classic. (Almost Wildean.)

  • Almost a chimp

    Thank you, I’m flattered.

  • Mimc

    Yeah that’s another thing I don’t get about quiverful. They expect their kids to have a huge influence on society but they don’t let them get degrees. I mean non-degree jobs are important but they aren’t usually the change-the-world types of jobs.

  • Cynthia

    Keep in mind that as much as Lori pretends to be a quiver full wife on the homestead, she doesn’t live that life herself. One son is an orthodontist, one son-in-law is in school training to be an orthodontist, and one son is a consultant to orthodontists.