The Botkin Sisters: Confusing Spiritual Abuse and Sexual Abuse

The Botkin Sisters: Confusing Spiritual Abuse and Sexual Abuse March 26, 2019

Back in the spring of 2012 there was a television show titled “G.C.B.” on ABC. It was loosely based on the semi autobiographical novel by Kim Gatlin “Good Christian Bitches”. It was a silly fun show, revolving around the antics of a cadre of rich ladies that were heavily involved with both their church and gossip.

Late last night I saw that the Botkin sisters, Anna Sofia and Elizabeth had written a long series on abuse. Cindy Kunsman sent me the links. I’ve only managed to wade through the first part, but it was enough to remind me of “G.C.B.” Especially once they started inventing people and situations to prove their points. if you combined the Botkin subject matter with that awful threatening letter than they sent to Cindy roughly six weeks ago. They are writing on the topic of ‘Spiritual Self Defense’

Please excuse me while I picked myself off the floor from laughing! They send an abusive threatening letter, yet now think their sheltered selves are somehow experienced and wise enough to advise on spiritual abuse?

So far they are talking about sexual abuse, not so much spiritual abuse. What they attempted to do to Cindy does fall under the heading of spiritual abuse. Spiritual abuse and sexual abuse have overlaps, sexual abuse can have a spiritual abuse component, but not always.

What is sheer comedy about this series, as Cindy pointed out, is that there are phrases, even whole paragraphs, that seem lifted from NLQ’s comment section, in particular posts by B.E. Miller. I see some vague almost plagiarism going on here. But I cannot fault them too much. The subject is an important one. I’ll be looking at their words weekly and taking apart what they’ve said.

The ladies start with the sticky wicket that is sexual abuse. The horrors of it. For a Botkin article it actually isn’t as toxic as usual, but I am having a very hard time imagining either sister experienced much in way of sexual harassment beyond having some strange man whistling at an exposed ankle while they are out with Daddy Botkin.

That’s one of the biggest things that the girls miss in this – sexual abuse AND spiritual abuse thrive in the secret. They are crimes of opportunity. Chances of it happening when your sister, or friends, or family are surrounding you go way down. It happens in those moments when your guard is down, when you’re alone with someone, or when you’ve been set up to be alone.

Predators know. They are usually practiced and skilled at separating their victims from others before making their moves. Even when it’s a situation with no grooming, out of the blue, most sexual abuse predators will not risk exposure by attacking in a crowd.

Statistics indicate that in cases of pedophiles there are as many as 200 silent victims for every one that tells. I don’t know what the rates are for sexual abuse adult females is, but I believe it might be higher. Just look at the numbers of women who have come forward against Larry Nassar.

All very true. I cannot fault them for this, even if there is some mention of ‘bad girls,’ ‘immodest women,’ and ‘umbrella of protection.’ before it. That’s one of the things that triggers me to say they remind me of ‘G.C.B.’ Let’s get something straight, sexual abuse happens across the entire spectrum of women. Race does not matter, nor age, nor size, nor what you wear, what you don’t wear, or anything else.

Actually no, this isn’t helpful. It’s not your relationship with Christ that is going to solve this problem. It is more about letting the predator know what he’s attempting to do is unacceptable, and taking appropriate action. That might be as simple as saying ‘Knock it off, creep!’ and getting the heck away from there. But it might involve going to the authorities and insisting they take action. No actual Jesus involved.

Next the Botkin ladies set up a scenario where a man pressures a woman into having sex with him and her regrets. Lots of not so healthy talk of responsibility and who is to blame.

While this does happen what the Botkins fail to realize is that being sexually abused is more than this one scenario. What their fictional man Bryan did was wrong indeed, but it’s only the teeny tiniest tip of the sexual abuse mountain.

First chapter of this done. While I commend the ladies for tackling a very hard subject that does genuinely need to be discussed I have to wonder the why. Is it an attempt to publicly prove that they aren’t part of an almost incestuous-like cult? To be culturally relevant because their father’s stated goal of marrying them off to a good Christian man to reproduce arrows has been an abysmal failure?

I admit I am very puzzled by this pivot in the wake of the Cindy Kunsman letter. More later from this series.

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About Suzanne Titkemeyer
Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 32 years. You can read more about the author here.

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