MGTOW Marriage Advice With Larry Solomon?

MGTOW Marriage Advice With Larry Solomon? August 27, 2019
Larry once called me a ‘Crazy Feminist Writer’ and I wear that sobriquet proudly. Love to use this graphic for Larry because if Larry actually ever ran across this restroom sign in Costa Rica he’d flip out. A sign in two languages depicting mermaids and centaurs instead of women and men. It’s from a unisex restroom and I laugh every single time I go wash my hands there. A symbol of a modern world that the Larrys of this world hate.

When I was gagging last week over Larry Solomon of Biblical Gender Roles tried futilely to prove that men own women I was completely blind to the almost worse piece he’d written “Appeasement is Never an Option for Christian Husbands” It’s MGTOW marriage advice with Larry Solomon. It is the second post on his site, just under the disgusting misguided attempts to own wives.

I didn’t come up with the MGTOW in this. Larry, like the good little substandard beta troll he is, started mentioning the MGTOW guys early on in this bit. Sounds like a bit of hit hoeing for more hits.

What this is happens to be a long email that Larry the Hairy Man received from a stranger named Mark. Mark is complaining about his long time wife, who does seem somewhat childish in his recitation of her wrongs. She is unsatisfied with their marriage, has pulled some immature stunts like tearing up the house if he says no to something. The typical Larry complaint of no sex. Plus the church backs her, not him, during marriage counseling.

I have to question if the email is genuine. Larry seems to be completely unaware that some people consider it great sport to bait him with awful fake emails just to see what he’ll come up with. One thing I did notice in this letter. The husband never once said that he loved his wife, or had any positive feelings about her. It’s all his annoyance that she’s not his sex robot, or whimpering slave. This is not marriage, this is a parent – child, or master – slave relationship grounded in inequality. There is no loving kindness, no sacrificial love, nothing to do with mercy.

First Larry states how many MGTOW unhappy marriage emails he’s flooded with, mentioning MGTOW over and over again. Then he tries to say what the feminist perspective would be on this letter:

The Christian feminists reading Mark’s story will come away with another lesson. In their view Mark just needs to go back to where he was before he discovered what the Bible says about the roles of husbands and wives. He needs to just do what his wife said and work on his “communication style” and “hear her” better. And of course, his wife mentioned the Christian feminist and humanists’ favorite word which is CONSENT. And when all else fails, Mark should just fall back into the appeasement mode with his wife, because after all “Happy Wife” = “Happy Life” right?

Not necessarily, Mr. Trollishness.  This Christian Feminist sees some fault on both sides. This is the kind of outcome you get when you marry too young, when the balance of financial power and personal power is simply too one sided. He’s miserable. She is miserable. Instead of communicating needs in love, and efforts on the part of both partners to improve the marriage you get tantrums and sulking. Neither of these folks has any business being married! Likely both came into the relationship with unrealistic expectations without knowing themselves or each other that well. Recipe for bad marriage!

Consent in marriage is important. Not just sexual consent but consent in all areas. A few examples. My husband has and rides a motorcycle. I don’t necessarily like it, but he has my consent to ride it if he likes. On the other side we had a recent disagreement where he wanted to rent our house out during an upcoming U.S. trip. We could not agree, there was no consensus and no consent going on there. He dropped the idea after hearing from myself and a pile of realtor friends as unfeasible. Marriage does mean agreement on most things, consent to do certain things.

Larry, as usual, spends reams of words to tell this guy that he has a few options. He urges Mark to use ‘Discipline’ of many times against his wife, including cutting off any and all finances, yes, financial abuse. Which is a crime in many jurisdictions now.

What makes me laugh is Larry’s self righteous mewling that Mark should just up sticks and go to the park for a few hours to ‘punish’ his argumentative wife.  Which is not entirely bad advice. Taking a time out and disengaging during a disagreement is sometimes needed to later reach an unemotional consensus. But the notion of punishing a wife by withdrawal of a husband is just laughable. I know many, including myself, that might think “Thank goodness! Yeah, yeah, take yourself out of here away from me and I’ll have a nice relaxing afternoon” reaching for a book and a tall glass of iced tea.

And one other thing I would like to add. You need to be VERY consistent in your disciplinary approach with your wife just as you need to be very consistent in your disciplinary approach with your children.  So, the approach is, you rebuke her and she fails to repent and just keeps arguing with you then you walk away and engage in the silent treatment.  If she becomes violent you leave the home for a few hours or even for the evening.

This consistent behavior toward her will result in one of three actions on her part:

  1. She will completely change her behavior.
  2. She will file for divorce.
  3. She will at least stop the raging so you won’t leave.

What Larry does not consider is that when you are dealing with very immature people it might just escalate the bad behavior on both sides. Someone that routinely destroys possessions and the house will likely get worse. In this case divorce might be the best thing for everyone involved. Mark can mail order a super submissive bride from overseas, and his wife can move forward and, hopefully, grow into a fully mature woman.

Please do not take marriage advice from Larry. His words lead only to misery and divorce. Plus Larry is not anyone worth emulating at all, he’s substandard in every way, which we saw when his name and location was exposed. He’s so so lower middle class average in every way. Clearly he has no real power in his life, and has to take out his toxic ideas of control out on a disabled wife and cowed children. Don’t be like Larry.

People tend to thrive and grow when they have personal autonomy and agency, being much happier and content, than being treated constantly as a lesser being. Just say no to Larry.

What is typical is that the real harmful toxicity is in the commentary. Posting a few of the worst.

Dave M obviously has no idea what daycare costs are:

My advice to this man is to separate their finances and make copies of all important documents. Then sit down with his wife and give her an ultimatum—tell her that he will not remain in a sexless marriage, and that things need to change in order for the relationship to continue. Explain to her how difficult her life will be in a divorce, and that how courts are now starting to recognize fathers rights. If he is awarded equal custody, she will get significantly less child support, which would force her to take on more work hours in a job she doesn’t like.

Plant a couple motion activated hidden cameras—You can get them pretty cheap these days—disguised as common household objects. If she flips out and destroys things again, the footage could then be used to negotiate the divorce in your favor. Tell her that if she files for alimony, you will use the footage to file for full custody, showing how she is emotionally unstable and unfit to parent. If you are awarded full custody, you will end up paying less money for preschool or daycare, than you would have been paying for child support.

ANM1

Be prepared to go scorched earth – a chance at happiness is worth the cost. Happiness without her if that ends up being what it is. An example of what not to put up with in marriage for your children if it comes to it. Be prepared to explain to her what the cost will be is she wants divorce. Explain to her that she will have to go to work. Explain to her that her life will be much harder if this direction is chosen. Explain to her that she will no longer have you to work for her, to help her, to provision for her. Explain to her that if she goes this direction there are no do overs and that there is a very high chance she will have to bear you giving your love, resources, and gifts to another woman.
It could be a good thing she does not work. You can control the finances when you are the one making the money. Your name is on that paycheck, not hers. Open an account in your name only and have you payment check deposited there. Take control. The new word is NO, until she is working toward improvement. Not you are working with so and so and she has to please them. She has to please you, her husband, period. if you aren’t seeing improvement no matter what anyone else things, the answer for anything is a NO.

Financial abuse ahoy!

Most of the men are urging Mark to start recording his wife all the time and go scorched earth replete with financial abuse.

And we end with toxic insane patriarch and Lori Alexander derriere licker Trey

The Bible tells us that it’s built into the woman to desire to control the man (courtesy of Eve in the Garden). What the Bible does not tell us is that FACT that a women will not respect a man that she can control. Also not mentioned is the FACT that a women will have no sexual desire for a man that she does not respect. Based on her hormonal sex drive she may use you from time to time to scratch her itch (while she is fantasizing that she is having sex with some other man) but she will not really have any desire for you and if she does not have a hormonal sex drive, you will get nothing.

Now strong Christian women understand that sexual refusal is a sin and will freely give their bodies to their husbands whether they currently have respect for him or not, but since this is no longer being taught in our churches, and society and our culture is screaming the exact opposite from every rooftop, most women don’t see sexual refusal as the abhorrent sin that it is.

Men in this situation have to explain the Biblical truths to their wives, gird themselves for battle and with constant prayer, take action. Once the battle has commenced, they must patiently and firmly, stand their ground no matter what. They need to understand that they are doing battle for the soul of their wives and children and they must be willing to risk it all for the cause of (and in obedience to) Christ.

A husband is bound by God’s word to agape (love) his wife. That means he is to always make decisions that are in her best interest regardless of the circumstances. Many times she will not like what is best for her, especially if she is mired in sin. He is also bound by God’s word to provide for the needs of his wife, not her wants… especially if what she wants is not in her best interest and it is never in the best interest of a spoiled brat child to get everything they want… especially if they throw a tantrum when they don’t get it.

I would do as Anm1 stated and open a new bank account and limit the money that she has access to. I would take her credit cards away, put her on an allowance and never pay a bill for a charge/card you have not authorized. A credit freeze might help in this matter. Then start cutting down on the other things that she wants (vacations, etc.) that are not necessities and explain to her clearly why you are doing all of this. She is in sin and God commands you to wash her in the water of the Word to remove her spots and blemishes. God disciplines those that he (agape) loves and you are called to love your wive as Christ loves the church.

In Mark’s case, hidden cameras (with audio) in the house are a must immediately for your own protection. I would think it wise to try and find that better job again far away from where he is currently living and move his family there to get his wife away from the bad influences that are currently strengthening her in her sin.

I also agree with Anm1 that her sexual refusal is the first battle to confront and win. This is where the battle should start and once won, everything after that should come easier. As for her “reasons” why she does not want to have sex with you, they are all just excuses (for her to pridefully maintain control) and no matter how many you address and appease, she will just come up with more and the more hoops you jump through the less she will respect you and you will just be peddling backwards.

As Anm1 also stated, it took years (of you doing it wrong) to get where you are, it might take a few years to get it fixed but as I know many others here (have and) are doing, I am praying for you and your wife Mark that God will honor you as you start obeying Him and working to get your house in order.

One final thing, I also agree with everything that Jonadab said above. This is going to take immense patience and vigilance and in the end, no matter what the outcome, you are doing this to the obedience to (and Glory of) Christ. Let this give you strength.

Abuse to the glory of Christ? Oh man, Trey needs Bible lessons I think.


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About Suzanne Titkemeyer
Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 33 years. You can read more about the author here.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • SAO

    ‘Sexual refusal’ is the ‘sin’ that takes priority? Because God cares most if a man is getting laid enough? And stuff like feeding the hungry, helping the poor, not to mention being a basically decent human being come lower down on the priority list.

  • Ruthitchka

    Good morning, Suzanne. I am not very hip, I guess–I had to look up the meaning of MGTOW. Now I am absolutely horrified. It’s another case of “blame women for everything”. Just what the world needs.

    From what Larry S. and his commenters wrote above, it seems that once again, women are not full, adult human beings. They are to be kept captive financially and otherwise.

    Yep, I am horrified.

  • Tawreos

    Do none of these people ever just sit down and try to talk a problem out? An open and honest discussion between two people that should love each other is a better first option than buying spy cameras and changing banking situations. I would also think that anyone that thinks a successful relationship with someone should be approached like a battle against a hated enemy has no business being in a relationship. But what do I know? I’ll just be over here searching animal rescue sites for my next lord and master or lady and mistress, whatever.

  • Wisdom, Justice, Love

    Of course. They objective is always creating more followers. If men could reproduce without women, religion would be even uglier.

  • Saraquill

    These men should divorce their wives and marry one another. Contain the awfulness.

  • Wisdom, Justice, Love

    Nope. Because loving God, and God loving you is never about understanding or compromise. It’s about obedience and punishment.

    They can’t have that conversation. They’re not used to considering another person. Notice it’s about what HE is not getting. And she is “unhappy with the relationship” for reasons no penis need be concerned.

    Notice the message also talks about HIM not being respected. Respect for her? Meh.

  • Jennny

    Aww, so pleased about your prospective new buddy….do keep us updated! And your comment above that news is spot on, eloquently and succinctly put, this isn’t a relationship at all. The spy camera idea turns my stomach!

  • johnsoncatman

    What the ever-loving f**k is wrong with these men?! They don’t need a wife, they need a s3x doll. No consent necessary, and ready for s3x anytime he wants it in any way he wants it. They wouldn’t have to worry about their money being spent in ways that they disapprove of, and the doll would not tear up the house because she would never be mad at him.

  • otrame

    The general consensus of sane people is that MGTOWs have the right idea. No one deserves to put up with their childish tantrums. They need to GTOW as far from decent people as possible.

  • Tawreos

    They’d still have the problem of feeling inadequate because their partner was smarter than they are.

  • Tawreos

    You’ll know when I do because they will become my avatar, just like the last one did. =)

  • otrame

    Well, Larry and his buddies have done a good job of making sure Mark’s wife divorces him, even if does cause her a lot of trouble. And simply archiving that whole blog post and comments should help with the settlement.

  • johnsoncatman

    OOOOOOOOH!!!!!! Sizzle!!!!!!

  • paganheart

    I’m not sure that’s even a good idea…putting that much awful in a contained area might cause a rip in the space-time continuum….

  • AFo

    The unrealistic expectations and infantilization of women is to blame here, not the wife’s lack of godliness. Once again, these “good Christian” men fail to realize that marriage is a partnership in everything, and compromise is necessary.

  • Trouble is, they won’t just… GO.

  • Martin Penwald

    So, we’ll see an elephant or an anaconda picture?

  • Martin Penwald

    If she exists.

  • Dom S

    Their religion is literally toxic masculinity.

  • Jennifer

    Speaking of MGTOW 1creeps2, anyone heard of a 3freak4 with the screen name Silence DoGood? He’s been littering conservative articles saying women shouldn’t vote, are enslaved more often now that they vote, and claims to have 17 siblings. He’s been banned from most social media and his first name is Ryan; last name might be Messano.

  • frostysnowman

    Would someone please remind me what MGTOW stands for?

  • frostysnowman

    Bazinga!!

  • otrame

    Well, yeah. She was a little too perfectly childish and abusive, wasn’t she? Besides, even if she does exist, we are hear only his side of something there is always two sides to.

  • Ruthitchka

    Am I ever glad I am a divorcee with a super-sweet and also bossy little Chihuahua as my “lady and mistress”. It seems a lot better than being married to anyone like a Larry Solomon. Xena is a rescue, too!

  • otrame

    Men Going Their Own Way. Basically men who claim to have decided that women are just too much trouble, so they stay away from them so they can do what they like, spend their own money how they like, be free.

    Of course, what they mostly do is spend all their time online saying more and more ugly things about Women. Because all women are the same. All of them. All are evil, all are only interested in you for your money, and anyway they are all stupid and not even really human.

  • lady_black

    Heheh.

  • lady_black

    I have a couple of rescue kittens that need homes. I made an indoor cat of the mother, and she was pregnant. She’s now fixed and very happy here. Someone dumped her here, and it took us a long time to gain her trust, but we did, and the kittens were born here. They have all their shots and have been dewormed and vet checked.

  • lady_black

    Wouldn’t you rather they just “went their own way?” IF ONLY! Everyone would be better off.

  • lady_black

    ^^^THIS!!!!^^^

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    Ryan Messano! We’ve danced with that devil here before and he is double secret probation banned!

  • Friend

    I’m continually shocked that these j@ckwagons claim a Christian approach to marriage. When I look at Larry’s site (NOT recommended), it’s a little dressed up to look wholesome and Christian. But this stuff is just plain d0minance. It’s so shallow that it’s not even a pale imitation of complementarian or patriarchal marriage, which is of course horrendous. They don’t even pretend that the wife is a human, the human they married.

    These guys should just avoid the arguments and leave. Sort things out from a distance.

    And finally: where is this epidemic of s#xual refusal?

  • Jennifer

    Holy cow! Yeah, just looked him up and he’s one hot mess. Hope his maaany other siblings contribute more to society.

  • Jenn H

    I think Mark just needs to get divorced ASAP. Laying down an ultimatum like that, and backing it up with threats is only going to make things worse. There is no love left in this marriage. They need to be as far away from each other as possible, and the kids might do well to live with other relatives until things settle down.

  • Hannah

    Rachel Oates (an atheist YouTuber) did a video of MGTOW and the comments were something else. I’d wish they’d all go and live on an island somewhere (and then we can nuke it from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure.) Funny that a lot of these dudes want a virgin2 who doesn’t work but who somehow doesn’t need financial support. Also I got a ‘my dear’ off some twit for contradicting their idea of yin and yang. I said they were equal, which they are. “But they’re not the same! Like night and day!” Firstly, they’re not the same but they are equal, that’s the point. Secondly, don’t bring night and day into it, I spend far too long poring over night and day charts for that nonsense. (I find it fascinating that in the middle of the summer the UK never truly gets into night but stays at astronomical twilight.) The Equinoxes are a thing. (Also shot the ‘my dear’ right back at them, the slimy git.)

  • Cynthia

    Well, you’ve just inspired my next post on my legal blog. Financial and legal threats as a means to coerce someone to stay in a dysfunctional relationship. I’m not talking about a realistic discussion of how money and parenting responsibilities would be divided, I’m talking about “you can’t leave because I will leave you with nothing and you will be on the streets, plus I will take the kids away” threats. Too many of my clients get these threats.

    If you or someone you know is in this situation, find a good local divorce lawyer and book a consultation. Many will do a free half hour. While I will never promise that the process is easy, it’s often far better than the dire threats that abusive spouses make. I know that I’m supposed to stay level-headed and keep emotion out of it, but I do get satisfaction when a bully learns that their tactics don’t won’t anymore and a judge puts them in their place.

  • Saraquill

    Their imaginations.

  • Jennny

    Can’t wait!!

  • Friend

    That’s an excellent topic. Of the things mentioned in Suzanne’s post, I was particularly bothered by the theme that the men are supposedly the true victims. In real life, @bused women are advised to set money aside for escape. It’s chilling to see @busive men claiming the tactic for themselves, although of course financial @buse is as old as the hills.

    I also support the idea of consulting with a lawyer. In my limited experience (not with divorce law, fyi), lawyers have been generous with their insights during that free half-hour. I’ve been able to map out an approach and determine whether that lawyer is best for a situation. Some lawyers are warmer than others, but I have always left with more ordered thoughts. (And sometimes an aggressive lawyer is best, even if he/she might be a little brusque during appointments.)

  • SAO

    If you made the mistake of marrying one of these angry, selfish men, wouldn’t you be refusing to go near him? They make it clear it’s hard to leave.

  • Friend

    Oh, they are unappealing, all right. But they act like this is some kind of national problem, whereas it’s a problem they made at home… or just plain made up, since I do think some/all of the letters are complete fabrications.

  • Cynthia

    I read the blog post. Well, if you want a guide to completely destroying a marriage and having a brutal divorce that will leave you totally broke and mess up your kids, while avoiding at all costs the really simple stuff that might have saved it, this is the post for you. I keep hoping that he’s a troll, just using this site to have a laugh and see if anyone is stupid enough to think that his advice is good.

    All of this basically boils down to the wife saying “please treat me like an adult, have actual conversations with me, include me in major decisions that affect my life too, and act like we are in an intimate relationship where we love each other and I’m more than just a body for your use.” She’s not asking him to work harder or give her stuff, so she’s not appreciating when he does that. All she wants is to have actual conversations. Seriously, that is not a big ask.

    Now, of course going into a destructive rage is a bad thing. I’m struck, though, by just how many women people like him and Lori Alexander know who are apparently full of rage and control freaks. Most women I know IRL aren’t like that. It’s almost like totally ignoring someone and totally refusing to communicate or listen to anything they say and demanding that they just obey you and put out on demand might make them feel angry and frustrated. It’s also like treating someone as a human and an adult might encourage them to act like an adult.

    The other thing that strikes me is that people like this seem to actually brag about staying together with and having s3x with wives that they describe as being enraged and out of control. If normal people are in that situation – and I’ve dealt with a few, because mental illness or substance abuse or anger management issues can be real – we actually address how to safely separate, protect the well-being of any children and reduce points of conflict. Further pushing a wife to the brink while demanding more s3x? Nope. That’s a red flag. I’ve actually had a few men try to argue “she’s crazy” as some sort of reason that a divorce shouldn’t go through. No, a desire to get a divorce is not a symptom of mental illness, and staying with someone and having her care for the kids is not a rational response to a genuine situation of mental illness. Using the “she’s crazy” line to try to prevent a divorce is just a red flag for a gaslighting control freak.

  • persephone

    They just won’t leave though. On Twitter, some guy was injecting his garbage into a discussion with multiple feminists, and proudly announced he’s a MGTOW. I asked why he didn’t just go. Well, he was like he still was around and waffled. I pointed out that he had made it clear that feminism was anathema to him, so he really should just move along, because, frankly, nobody wanted his [expletive] opinion anyway.

  • persephone

    They’re the kid who announces he’s running away after he doesn’t get what he wants, then hangs by the front door, saying he’s leaving, and the parents are like Okay, dude, whatever, have a good life. Then he finally slams the door and goes back to his room and slams the door again. Then shows up at dinner.

  • persephone

    Real Dolls are cheaper in the long run.

  • persephone

    They assume that whatever they’re going through must be an issue with all women, because they will never accept that they, the men, are the source of the problems. If every problem is the wife’s fault, then this is too.

  • persephone

    And they link with incels and MRAs and PUAs. It’s very much the belief that women aren’t quite human, just as Black slaves weren’t quite human. They have human parts and can do human things, but they’re really just a step down in evolution.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    …and it continues in so many ways! I’m reading “Till the Twelfth of Never” about Betty Broderick and all I can say is ‘Holy gaslighting, Batman!’ The way her ex treated her I’m only surprised she didn’t snap and waste2 him sooner..

  • Friend

    Terrifying story.

  • WallofSleep

    Now wait a minute… if these “Men” are really “Going Their Own Way”, what the heck do they need marriage advice for?

  • WallofSleep
  • WallofSleep

    You should’ve met one of my ex-g/fs. It was mind blowing, some of the carp she would pull. Her problem wasn’t being a woman, though. There are scads and scads of decent women out there. Her problem was being a sociopath.

  • WallofSleep

    But my word are they creepy to behold. I don’t want to meet the man who can get off with one of those.

    https://media1.giphy.com/media/DBa308wq8XTMs/giphy.gif?cid=790b761118c000c386e0efcb9f96d9d714bb17c823bb259b&rid=giphy.gif

  • WallofSleep

    “PUA” is a new one on me, what does that stand for?

  • lady_black

    Yeah. my son did that once. I packed him a little hobo bag2 on a stick, and watched him walk up and down the block. After a while, I opened the door and said he was welcome to have dinner before running away.
    The subject was never mentioned again.

  • otrame

    Yep. Just like there are scads and scads of decent men. Just not Larry or Mark or those other guys.

  • otrame

    Pick up artist. Guys who have “game”. The basic idea is that if you use a bunch of tricks, you can get any woman into bed with you. There were lots of books, videos, blogs. It was a thing for a while.

    I personally think that the whole incel thing is a direct result. All those flakes read all the PUA books and were promised they could get any woman. It didn’t happen. So, of course, it wasn’t the fault of all the PUAs who told them exactly what to do. So it was the fault of the women.

    Obviously.

  • WallofSleep

    Duh, I should’ve guessed “pick up artist”. That term has been around at least since I was a kid in the 70’s, and there were even comical movies about them then.

    The odd thing about incels, at least the ones that make the news by going postal, is that they’re better looking than me, in better shape than me, and generally in a better social/financial situation than me. And yet I’ve not had many problems finding women who are dtf. Granted, I don’t have many notches on my bed post, but the ones I do have are carved deep.

    I think perhaps those fellars should quit taking The Red Pill, and start taking the Don’t Have A Garbage Personality Pill.

  • Jennifer

    My uncle did that as a kid. Packed up, walked out the door, made his way down the walk, then a little bit later there he was at the door, declaring, “I’m going to run away AFTER lunch!” Never mentioned it again.

  • Jennifer

    Does it sound to you like a similar case to Andrea Yates? One where there were mental issues present and then a bad living situation/treatment caused a traumatic snap?

  • Jennifer

    HA. Best summation of that bull I ever saw.

  • Dom S

    Does it have to make sense?

  • WallofSleep

    Well, if they’re gonna be consistent then… I guess you’re right, it doesn’t have to make sense. None of their other carp does.

  • Cynthia

    BTW, if you need a chaser after this toxic stuff and kitten pics just aren’t doing it,Sheila Gregoire on To Love, Honor and Vacuum has a podcast on her most recent blog post where she talks about how marriages really don’t actually a leader to make decisions when a couple can’t decide, and how Christians who constantly repeat that line will get looks from the rest of the world like they are crazy because there are plenty of healthy marriages that just don’t work that way. I started laughing and wanted to give a little cheer at that point, because that was EXACTLY my reaction to patriarchal talking points. Like Sheila, I’ve also been married for over 20 years, and there isn’t anything that my husband and I couldn’t eventually decide together. It can take real time and effort, but eventually we hear each other out, consider all points, brainstorm to come up with all possibilities, and thoroughly go through an issue until we have a decision and action plan. The key part is that we do this in good faith and with open minds, and at the end, we BOTH take ownership of the decision. I remember that my husband, who had wanted to move for years, suddenly panicked after our move to our current house because we had just maxed out our line of credit on top of our mortgage. I reassured him that this was okay and that the move was the best decision for the family – because by that point, it was my decision just as much as it was his. [It was a tense time, but ultimately worthwhile since we’ve been very happy and the location was perfect for us.]

  • otrame

    Or even maybe, just maybe, quit thinking of women as being meat to fùck2. Maybe think of any given woman as an individual, instead of having an idea of WOMEN as a monolith.

    But then, I’m just a woman. What the hell do I know?

  • PrettyPagan

    What a fabulous response!!

  • PrettyPagan

    Thanks for the tip, @suzanneharpertitkemeyer:disqus, I shall look that book out & add it to my ever-growing collection. I’ve been reading about Patriarchal marriages, Fundamental religions/Cults etc for more than 10 years now & have never ceased to be shocked at what goes on behind some closed doors. While I know first-hand that women can be abusive in a marriage too it does seem to flourish under the “leadership” of such “men of God”!! It was hell watching while my lovely, gentle son was in a coercive control marriage for nearly 10 years & he’s a very clever, switched on man who just didn’t realise what was happening until he was left penniless, isolated (or so she thought) & fully under her control. The narcissism was unreal!! Thankfully, he is now divorced but both children are scared of their mother & hate having to go stay with her. How these women & children endure their fundamental lifestyles remains a testament to the resilience of human nature. I find it incredible that these “men” seem unable to comprehend how & why their wives will never truly love them while they are held only by fear, control & circumstances. Without respect *all* relationships will eventually wither & die.

  • persephone

    Pick Up Artist

  • persephone

    Does it have the photos? His second wife could have been her twin. So gross.

  • zizania

    We got our last cat from the same sort of situation. She was a wonderful, loving, rather goofy companion for just over 20 years.

  • lady_black

    I haven’t had much luck placing them yet. I found homes for two of the six.
    I applied to bring them to a local pet event, called “Meet The Rescues.” They turned me down because I’m not a “registered rescue” just a private citizen rescuing one stray at a time. I do what I do out of love.

  • zizania

    You remind me of the couple we got Gracie from. One of the kittens in the litter had cerebral palsy. The kept him themselves and took very good care of him, including holding him steady so that he could eat and drink.

  • lady_black

    These guys are 100% healthy, and little lover-lovers. Frankly, I would have probably put a kitten with cerebral palsy to sleep. I don’t think that’s any way for a cat to live, where it can’t even eat and drink without assistance (sorry).

  • Quinsha

    I had to look that up, also.

  • zizania

    I have to say I would have as well.